SHY YETI COOKS...

AND "MOST WATCHED" OF 2012 REVEALED!!

Hello beasties!

This week I'm going to unveil the first new video of 2013, SHY YETI COOKS and also announce which of the new videos released during 2012 got the highest ratings. Not only that, but I also intend to share a few photos from last week's Dorset trip. Let's start with the new video! Here's some information about it:

SHY YETI COOKS is the first Shy Yeti film posted in 2013. It is a sequel to SHY YETI'S HAUNTED KITCHEN which was posted at Halloween 2012 and was filmed between late August and early-October 2012. It also contains an, as yet, unpublished poem called THE TRUTH ABOUT CAKE. The film stars Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) and guest stars Dominic McCauley. Camera is by Paul Chandler and Dan Hodges. Music is by Luca and Spooky Yeti. All content of this film is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/2aLPS1AHAog

100%

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/56903931

The list that follows is the final ratings for all new videos released during 2012, taken from both my MRSHYYETI Youtube profile and my SHY YETI Vimeo profile. It is not an overall list of all my videos and includes only those released between the 1st January and the 31st December 2012; it does not include some of those older videos that have been on Vimeo for years but which I migrated to Youtube in the Summer...

HIGHEST RATED NEW SHY YETI VIDEOS OF 2012

1^st BEWARE OF THE VAMPIRE COWS!!! = 332 views
2^nd SHY YETI OUT IN THE NEW FOREST = 273 views
3^rd ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERCOASTER SHOW - 1 = 268 views
=4^th SHY YETI’S MINI EUROPEAN TOUR 2011 – PT 2 = 267 views
=4^th SHY YETI WELCOMES SPRING = 267 views
6^th A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - 1 = 260 views
7^th SHY YETI GOES BUSHY = 257 views
8^th SHY YETI TAKES (A TRIP) TO BATH = 254 views
9^th SHY YETI GOES WILD = 252 views
10^th ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERCOASTER SHOW - 2 = 251 views
11^th A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - 2 = 245 views
12^th SHY YETI’S INTER-WEB/BLOG BONANZA - 1 = 239 views
13^th SHY YETI GOES WILD ON THE RADIO - 1 = 237 views
14^th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 7 = 119 views
15^th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 8 = 118 views
=16^th YETI HUNT U.S.A. – PART 6 = 111 views
=16^th JUNK/FOOD GIG 2 = 111 views
18^th SHY YETI ON RADIO FOR VALENTINE’S = 108 views
19^th SHY YETI’S HAUNTED KITCHEN = 101 views
20^th SHY YETI GOES WILD - 2 = 85 views
21^st SHY YETI LIVE FROM BROADSTAIRS = 83 views
=22^nd SHY YETI’S SEA-SIDE SHUFFLE – PART 1 = 79 views
=22^nd SHY YETI’S BEST OF BRITISH - 1 = 79 views
24^th SHY YETI’S BEST OF BRITISH - 2 = 74 views
25^th A VERY YETI CHRISTMAS (2012) = 69 views
26^th SHY YETI’S SPOOKYCREEPY SHOW = 61 views
=27^th SUTTON PARK (2012) – PART 1 = 58 views
=27^th SHY YETI GOES WILD ON THE RADIO - 2 = 58 views
29^th SHY YETI’S “LOST” HOLLYWOOD VIDEO = 56 views
30^th SHY YETI’S SEA-SIDE PREVIEW = 52 views
31^st SHY YETI’S SEA-SIDE SHUFFLE – PART 2 = 51 views
32^nd SHY YETI BOTTLES SUMMER = 46 views
33^rd SHY YETI GOES WILD – LIVE = 42 views
34^th SHY YETI’S BLOG BONANZA – 2 = 33 views
35^th SHY YETI’S “THIRD TIME LUCKY” SHOW= 30 views

I'm really happy that the BEWARE OF THE VAMPIRE COWS film did so well. It's actually a video that I recorded in Summer 2011 and had to hold back for editing in 2012; it's also not a poetry video - but a video that includes some of my short 100 words stories from the Vampire Cows collection. Maybe I'll consider doing a few more short story videos as both BEWARE and A YETI IN WINTER (2011) seem to have gone down well. It's probably no surprise that the videos that did the best are the ones from earlier in the year - SHY YETI GOES BUSHY and SHY YETI GOES WILD being two of my favourites, although the "spinning" yeti dance in the New Forest episode and some of the silly sketches in the Bath episode were quite memorable to film.

I'm hoping in time that some of 2012's later videos start to pick up more hits, as I'm especially keen on the "LOST" HOLLYWOOD, BEST OF BRITISH and SEA-SIDE SHUFFLE episodes... Oh, and the Halloween ones... Okay! So I like them all! Well, I did make them! :) As I've mentioned before, I probably have enough for about a dozen episodes that were filmed in 2012, but are currently unedited - but I'll get to those eventually. More news on those once the RETURN TO DORSET episode is up.

Overall 2012 was my best year yet as far as "hits" for the films, we are well over 18,000 hits on Youtube, which is great considering that back in the summer I was excited that we'd even reached 10,000 At a guess I'd say that over half of our views came during the last 12 months and in December we averaged well over 1700 hits in a month, so hopefully we'll do even better during 2013. In a year where it took me rather longer than I hoped to get new material out in a printed format, I am happy to be able to look back and see that many of my newer pieces made their debuts either in yeti films or at the four Poetry Cafe shows that took place last year.

Before I sign off, I'd like to share a few photos from last week's return trip to Dorset... These were taken at a number of the locations featured in the forthcoming film, which I hope to be ready later in January. Locations featured include Corfe Castle, Swanage and Lulworth Cove. Food featured includes ice cream and pie and chips!! PS The picture of me with the glass of wine (Yes! It is wine!) was taken as New Year 2013 - not that this excuses the hat. PPS There is no excuse for the other odd expressions or hats that I am wearing in any of the other photos.

That's about it for now! Next week I'll be posting a new poem that I finished on New Year's Eve. It's called A YETI WAY OF THINKING and I'm beginning to consider it as a possible title for a future collection, but I'll think on about that. I'll also be discussing the forthcoming ARE WE THERE, YETI!? collection that is hopefully due out in early February. I'm also going to be discussing the collection that follows it, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS...

More soon.

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

This post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

UPDATING THE RATINGS, YETI DIARY AND ANOTHER NEW VIDEO!!

Hello folks and folkettes,

First up this week, here are all the links and information that you need to know to watch the second episode of SHY YETI'S BEST OF BRITISH. Oh - and the photo this week comes from the cover of my next Mouse Of Commons book, which should be out in September. Nice innit? The bear is, of course, Mr Charlie Grrr... Beargrrian celebrity and all-round greedy guzzling bear... Anyway!

This episode is the second part of a two part SHY YETI ON LOCATION series called SHY YETI'S BEST OF BRITISH. Part Two is called DIAMONDS ARE ALL VERY WELL, BUT PIES TASTE NICER... and is a celebration of all things British, including some of the bad stuff too - in honour of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee! It was filmed in late May and early June around Wimbledon, Salisbury and on the Norfolk Coast. It contains two poems filmed on location, POLITELY ENRAGED and BRITISH SUMMERTIME IS HERE. There is also much silliness, a yeti dance on a deserted beach and lots of gratuitous shots of tea and cake. This episode also stars Mr D McCauley, Mr M Notch, Mr C Williamson and Mr N Goodman and the camera was manned by myself, but also by Calum, Nick and Dominic. Music is by Luca. This film is a Shy Yeti Production and all its contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2012. There will be one more live video before the summer break, however we will return in late August for more poetic insanity from all around the world!

Youtube: http://youtu.be/Ib1pHY1cjQQ

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/46288678

I thought I'd start with a bit on what I've been up to this week...

Monday 16th July

As I begin most of my days at the moment, I began Monday by doing a little editing on Part 2 of SHY YETI YETI'S BEST OF BRITISH. I've reached the end title-sequence and the episode is really taking shape and is getting to be closer to the length that I'd like it to be. As for the rest of the day I did some work on BEAST OF FRIENDS, which all but makes this project complete once Dominic has proofed the final 4 pages. Dan also did a good job at proofing a number of short ARE WE THERE, YETI!? pieces.

Tuesday 17th July

A busy day today, as I was off work and so was Dominic and so we headed off in the Bushy Park area near Hampton Court to film what I'd hoped to film on Sunday before the engineering works scuppered our plans. We filmed a number of head-to-head pieces, recorded my new poem BEE-SOTTED, a yeti dance and also began work on recording another poem, THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, which I intend to finish filming at the weekend when out with Calum. I also got a lot of good footage of deer in the Park. In the evening I pretty much finished Part 2 of BEST OF BRITISH and it looks like it's going to be just over 11 minutes long; which is a duration that I'm quite content with.

Wednesday 18th July

Back at work today, so not so much time to write. I did try to get the new video converted before work, but it wasn't quite working - so I left it for later... During lunchbreak I posted Part 1 of BEST OF BRITISH to Vimeo and posted that week's blog; did Dominic's correction for the essay for BEAST - which means that project is now completed and also did a bit of tinkering on a couple of poetry projects. Mum's last correction for TALES FROM THE MCWHISKERS' ARCHIVE had also arrived, so I must work through those over the next week or so - meaning that this project is now almost completed too. In the evening I finally got that project converted and Part 2 was born and moving very swiftly onwards I started selecting poems from all the footage I have left over from my BLOG BONANZA SHOW that John Smallshaw and I did in early June. This is going to be the last video I post before the summer holiday and before I start work on the "lost" Hollywood episode that I've been holding back since November.

Thursday 19th July

Today began, once again, with a little editing before breakfast; selecting the poems to go in the 2nd of the BLOG BONANZA live show videos. I also got the new episode loaded up and advertised on Facebook and Twitter, as well ordering my first copies of BEAST OF FRIENDS from Lulu.com. Dan continued to help me with the editing for ARE WE THERE, YETI!? which is definitely helping with getting this particular book finished - whilst I also worked on what photos were staying and going from that project, to get the page number down from 400 to slightly lower. In the evening I did more work on the second BLOG BONANZA episode - choosing a nice selection of the poems that John and I had read on the night; trying to work out which ones hadn't been posted in the last video - or ever, in any form, if possible. At the moment the video is looking to be about 15 minutes long, but the Poetry Cafe ones usually are a bit longer. I also ended up doing a bit of work on the "LOST" HOLLYWOOD episode - and even carried one of the spare poems from the live video over to use in it. I'm trying to leave the "lost" video to work on over the holidays, but I'm quite excited about getting it finished - possibly because around about now last year I was going out there - so it's nice to be having some kind of Hollywood experience this summer, even vicariously!

Friday 20th July

Today, as usual, I managed a little editing before work - just deciding on the final line-up of what's going to go into the episode. The live episodes are always far quicker to edit than the "on location" episodes, but I still want to make them good and to contain interesting material from both John and I. Otherwise, in the day, I just tweaked a few of my projects and sorted out the hardback version of THE BEAST OF FRIENDS.

Saturday 21st July

I began the day by working on the 2nd BLOG BONANZA video - deciding on the final line-up of poems to go into it; 3 by John Smallshaw and 5 by myself, plus a limerick! In fact I'd pretty much finished the video by the end of the day. The only filming I did today was whilst at my friend Gibson and Mile's house - but all I can say is that it involved introductions for a future episode - but believe me, you'll be impressed! Either that or bemused!

Sunday 22nd July

I set the new live video processing over night and it was ready by the morning; I also did a little work on the Hollywood video ahead of time during the evening. I had planned to save this video for my holiday, but reasoned that there's no harm in starting it now in case I get less time than expected during my break. At any rate I want to work on a Sutton Park episode during my time off and can always move on to one of the Lakes videos once they're filmed. Got out on location today, along the Basingstoke Canal between Ash Vale and Brookwood; filming a newish poem called I AM A JELLYFISH for the EPISODE WITHOUT A THEME. Calum and Dominic came along on this walk - but Dominic did all the filming. Originally I'd planned to complete filming THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, the poem that I'd started to record on Tuesday in Bushy Park - however I couldn't find the script to be able to record it. It turned out that I'd hidden it inside my camera case - but I didn't remember this until I got home! I'll either hold back filming it now for one of the Lakes episodes or record it next weekend if I think the episode is short enough to include four poems. The weather was absolutely lovely on both Saturday and Sunday - finally Summer seems to have arrived - or at least for the next few days. Would be nice if it could last for, at least, some of my vacation - but my last day at work isn't until the 27th! *crosses paws*

...And, as promised, now to the ratings update...

RATINGS FROM YETI VIDEOS – AS OF 23/07/2012


1st A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 1 = 224 views
2nd SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET = 217 views
3rd SHY YETI'S VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL = 201 views
4th TOO LATE – A SHORT STORY= 199 views
5th SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD = 197 views
6th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION = 184 views
7th A YETI IN WINTER = 181 views
8th BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR = 179 views
9th SHY YETI AT THE COBALT CAFÉ = 164 views
10th OUT AND ABOUT WITH SHY YETI = 162 views
11th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 = 157 views
=12th I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES = 152 views
=12th YETI DANCE A-GO-GO... = 152 views
14th SHY'S SNOW SPECTACULAR = 148 views
15th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 1 = 141 views
16th UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE = 140 views
17th SHY YETI TALKS = 137 views
18th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 4 = 136 views
=19th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 3 = 135 views
=19th A YETI ON RADIO WEY = 135 views
21st SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY = 132 views
22nd SHY YETI RETURNS TO THE COBALT CAFE = 131 views
=23rd SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 1 = 129 views
=23rd SHY YETI LIVE – 02/04/2011 = 129 views
=25th SHY YETI WELCOMES SPRING = 127 views
=25th AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI... = 127 views
=27th A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - 1 = 125 views
=27th SHY YETI OUT IN THE NEW FOREST = 125 views
=27th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 3 = 125 views
=27th YETI HUNT U.S.A. – PART 5 = 125 views
31st ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERCOASTER SHOW - 1 = 124 views
=32nd YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 2 = 123 views
=32nd A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS – A POEM = 123 views
=34th A YETI IN PARIS – PART 1= 122 views
=34th SHY YETI’S MINI EUROPEAN TOUR 2011 – PART 2 = 122 views
=34th JUNK/FOOD GIG 1 = 122 views
=34th SOMETHING TO CHEW ON – A SHORT STORY= 122 views
=34th SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY – PART 2 = 122 views
=34th ANOTHER EVENING WITH SHY YETI… = 122 views
40th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 2 = 120 views
=41st BEWARE OF THE VAMPIRE COWS!!! = 119 views
=41st SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 (2) = 119 views
=43rd SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – LIVE REVIVED = 117 views
=43rd SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET (OUT-TAKES) = 117 views
=45th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 7 = 116 views
=45th A YETI IN PARIS – PART 2 = 116 views
=47th SHY YETI’S INTER-WEB/BLOG BONANZA - 1 = 115 views
=47th A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - 2 = 115 views
=47th SHY YETI GOES BUSHY = 115 views
=47th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – PART 1 = 115 views
51st YETI HUNT U.S.A. – PART 4 = 114 views
=52nd ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERCOASTER SHOW - 2 = 112 views
=52nd SHY YETI GOES WILD = 112 views
=54th SHY YETI TAKES (A TRIP) TO BATH = 111 views
=54th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 2 = 111 views
=54th SHY YETI BACK ON RADIO WEY – PART 1 = 111 views
=54th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION (OUT-TAKES) = 111 views
58th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 8 = 110 views
=59th SHY YETI’S MINI EUROPEAN TOUR 2011 – PART 1 = 109 views
=59th YETI HUNT U.S.A. – PART 6 = 109 views
=61st SHY YETI ON RADIO FOR VALENTINE’S = 108 views
=61st A PERFECT MATCH = 108 views
63rd JUNK/FOOD GIG 2 = 107 views
=64th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – PART 3 = 105 views
=64th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – PART 2 = 105 views
66th YETI SPAGHETTI = 102 views
67th SHY YETI GOES WILD ON THE RADIO - 1 = 91 views
68th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE = 76 views
69th YETI SPAGHETTI (OUT-TAKES) = 65 views
70th LITTLE PIG = 64 views
71st SHY YETI GOES WILD - 2 = 60 views
=72nd MY MOMENT IS NOW = 58 views
=72nd PICCADILLY CIRCUS = 58 views
74th THEY WARNED ME... = 48 views
75th CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND = 47 views
76th SHY YETI’S BEST OF BRITISH - 1 = 43 views
77th SHY YETI GOES WILD ON THE RADIO - 2 = 42 views
78th SHY YETI’S BEST OF BRITISH - 2 = 40 views
79th SHY YETI LIVE - 18/11/2008 = 41 views
80th MY DOG IN A DRESS = 37 views
=81st THE TRUE LIGHT = 35 views
=81st THINGS AIN'T... = 35 views
83rd GOOD HUG = 30 views
=84th DAREDEVIL = 26 views
=84th THE SORRY TALE... = 26 views
86th RECKLESSLY = 24 views
87th A VOICE IN HIS HEAD = 21 views

Please Note: I have removed all videos that have no relevance to poetry, which is mainly the SUTTON PARK episodes - some of these rank as the highest rated films that I've done - but I thought it was easier to simply focus of the poetry films. It is heartening to see that there are already half a dozen or so episodes released in 2012 that are already in the overall Top 40.

Some further facts and figures before I head off - the youtube channel has now passed it's 9000th hit, infat it's closer to 9100 and also by the time this is posted, this blog will have reached its 7000th view. So, it's not just me reading this waffle after all; who knew!?! :)

As I've mentioned about 100 times now, by the time of next week's post I will be on holiday - in fact I'm not back in work until Monday 20th August, so this is effectively my end of term post; however I should have that live video from our June Poetry Cafe show, up by the end of this week and I am intending on posting on a weekly basis if at all possible; in fact I'm already working on next week's diary...

I'll leave you with a new poem - one that goes with the photos from last week's post and which I've filmed a video for which should hopefully be up in the autumn; but you'll have to wait a little while longer before that becomes available...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

SOMETHING'S UP WITH ROCKY LOBSTER


Something's up with Rocky Lobster…
He's as pink as pink could be…
Which suggests that he's been cooked…
But still he walks beneath the sea…
There's something odd 'bout that crustacean;
I have heard the sailor's say…
If t'was living as is normal –
Then he would be an ashy grey…
Oh, but Rocky stalks the seabed –
With a zombie's swaying gait…
Out in search of startled seahorses –
Behind the shells he lays in wait…
With the groan of the undead –
With his mandibles all swishy…
All the crabs know something's wrong…
Something quite odd - and very fishy!

Something's up with Rocky Lobster…
I really think he's pretty dead…
I just do not think he knows it…
He isn't blushing, yet he's red.
Which in a lobster is a bad thing…
No, it suggests that he's been boiled…
That the life's been steamed right out him…
That his ambition's have been foiled…
And yet Rocky staggers onwards…
Hunting hungry for his food –
He simply wants to eat their brains out –
He's quite deceased yet in a mood…
Rocky scavenges for victims –
He isn't someone you'd ignore…
That zombie lobster's coming for you –
To snap you right between his claw!

Something's up with Rocky Lobster…
Don't let him get you in his pincer –
Still he's moving pretty slowly –
He's such an underwater mincer…
He's such an oceanic terrorist –
He's such a menace from the deep…
Why won't he pack it in now, really…
Even the mermaids cannot sleep…
“What can we do 'bout Rocky Lobster?
He's really set to make his mark…
Last week he even came off best –
In a vicious set-to with a shark!”
There was just one thing to do 'bout Rocky…
He thought he was the great “I am…”
Well, they all lured him to the Coral –
And now he's trapped inside a clam...



SOMETHING'S UP WITH ROCKY LOBSTER comes from the book NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, due out late 2012, early 2013. This post and its contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2012.

7000 HITS AND COUNTING, PLUS A NEW COMPILATION!

Hello!

Yes, it's true - we really have passed our 7000th hit on the MRSHYYETI youtube profile - in fact at time of posting we have 7158 - and that's before we even consider all the views we have on Vimeo! Well, you know how much I like my numbers when it comes to hits and top 40s and whatnot - so I couldn't help but share this exciting news with you. Exciting to me alone, mostly - I accept that!

This week I've been off work and out and about filming...

What have I done, so far? Well - I've ben working on a sequel to SHY YETI GOES WILD, called - surprisingly enough - SHY YETI GOES WILD 2. This episode sees the return of Calum as my side-kick, as Calum is also off work. On Monday we walked between Denham and Uxbridge along the canal and I managed to record all but one verse of an old piece of mine called COLIN THE CUSTARD EATING SPIDER. It was a pretty hot day, but I also managed to get lots of footage of baby geese and ducks. Calum also makes a number of appearances too, although he does not count as a baby animal!

On Tuesday Calum and I headed for Epping Forest - the weather was good again and I was able to complete COLIN... and record all of THE STAND-UP CHAMELEON, not to mention half a yeti dance and some squirrels!

On Wednesday we were out in the Bexley/Sidcup area - and I got to film quite a bit in some rather tranquil fields, meadows and woods to complete the new episode. There were no complete poems recorded, just the glue that puts the episodes together - ie: the silly stuff! I did manage to come up with two ad-libbed animal limericks, however AND I completed the the yeti dance that I began on Tuesday up in Epping Forest!

The rest of the week we're off on location in the general direction of Norwich. The weather is meant to be reasonably good, so we'll see what occurs... Of course, it's also The Queen's Diamond Jubilee this weekend, which means there is a long bank holiday - so I'm hoping to escape all that and go filming somewhere.That's if I can find somewhere quiet. I have been toying with the idea of going back to the woods near Woking or to Bushy Park again - but we shall see. More on all that next week, I expect.

I've also been working on editing my next episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION, which is part 2 of A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - the episode that we filmed in Cologne back in mid-April. I'm nearing the end of the first edit - and will hopefully get it completed over the bank holiday. Once I've finished that I'll be working on a third and final ROLLERCOASTER show video and probably another live video for the 10th anniversary blog show - in fact Dominic and I filmed some links for this back in Golden Square, Soho this Sunday just gone. After these episodes I'm going to be working on my delayed VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE special, which I filmed last Summer - and then it'll be time to work on SHY YETI GOES WILD 2! It's all go, isn't it!?

I'm also releasing, in advance of my next Poetry Cafe show on Friday 8th June 2012, a new compilation which I think I've mentioned before on here. It's the companion piece to my 2009 compilation SHY YETI RULES O.K. and surprisingly enough is entitled SHY YETI STILL RULES O.K.

SHY YETI STILL RULES O.K. is a collection of over 70 of Mr Yeti's favourite pieces from all the books that he has released since late 2009. These include: ASK NICELY, CACTUS HEART, CUPCAKE, A FLEA TEA PARTY, I LOVE YOU LESS, LEGGY BLONDE, MY CREATIVE GNU, A PERFECT MATCH, WAITING FOR GHOSTS, UNCLE BEAR and many more. These are stories and poems that he has read at gigs and open-mike events over the last few years which seem to get the furriest, most enthusiastic growls from a crowd! The poems and prose inside SHY YETI STILL RULES OK were previously published in the following collections; THE SHY LIFE (2009), DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? (2010), YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS, THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, FUNERAL FOR A SHOE (ALL 2011) and a preview of a couple of pieces from ARE WE THERE, YETI? (due Summer 2012). All my books remain available from www.lulu.com, with a number of recent 10th anniversary reissues of my first two collections, JUNK/FOOD and ROLLERCOASTER.

You can access the paperback edition at: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/shy-yeti-still-rules-ok/12533103

It's 144 pages in length and is currently available with a 20% discount at £7.99, for a limited period. There will also be a hardback edition available in the next couple of weeks...

Here is the full line-up of what's included in this compilation...

ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE

ASK NICELY

BAD STUFF I WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU

THE BARD OF BELGRAVIA

BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE

CACTUS HEART

THE CAFFEINE QUEEN

CATFOOD IN YOUR EYEBROWS

COLIN THE CUSTARD EATING SPIDER

COMING INTO LAND

THE CROCODILE

CUPCAKE

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DIVA

D.J. DARLING

THE DAY THE PRIME MINISTER CAME TO TEA

DEATH OF A GIRL BAND

A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS

A DISORGANISED LIBRARY IS A VERY BAD THING

DON’T SNOG BEES

A FLEA TEA PARTY

FREE COFFEE

GEOGRAPHY BE DAMNED

GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART!

GRANDPA’S WIG

HARRASSING THE SUN

“I’M ALL FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS…”

I’M FAR TOO IMPORTANT TO KNOW YOU

I LOVE YOU LESS

IF SHAKESPEARE WERE AROUND TODAY

IF YOU WERE MY WIFE

INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA

IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?

JOHN, I’M ONLY RHYMING...

JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU

KISS ME QUICK

LADY GRRR-GRRR

LAID

LEGGY BLONDE

A LITTLE MOUSE

LOVE-GO-ROUND

MAKING TOAST FOR THE ENEMY

THE MEN IN WHITE COATS ARE MY FRIENDS

A MONKEY’S UNCLE

A MOST BORING MAN

“MOTHER, MEET PARIS…”

MY BEAUTY IS NATURAL

MY CREATIVE GNU

MY LONG LOST FRIEND

NEVER MIND THE MINOTAUR

NOT SEEING ANYBODY ELSE

PEACE OF MIND IN A TEABAG

A PERFECT MATCH

RATTLESNAKES!!!

RESPECTABLE TEXTS

A ROARING SUCCESS

A SOUVENIR OF THE TRIP

STREETLIGHT GLAMOUR

SUMMER SKIES

A SWEET TAIL

THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS

THEY DON’T RHYME THEIR POEMS IN L.A.

UNCLE BEAR

THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD

THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE

WAITING FOR GHOSTS

WE AIN’T GOT TIME…

WE’RE AN ITEM NOW

WE’RE GOING TO CLONE YOU

YOU COULD BE MY PIN-UP

YOU, ME AND THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS

YOUR OWN SWEET OXYMORON

YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT’S A BAD THING

I'll post a piece from this collection in a week or two - probably around the time that the hardback edition is ready. Next week I'm aiming to post up those ratings that I promised last week, not to mention there will be new videos and things to write about The Poetry Cafe show.

So, busy - busy - busy... More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul x

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2012

MORE LIVE YETI AND STUFF ABOUT THE NEW BOOK...

Hello again!

This week I'm here to unveil another live video from my ROCK 'N' ROLLERCOASTER SHOW and to share with you a piece from my forthcoming collection, ARE WE THERE, YETI!? It's looking to be my longest collection yet - but then it is chock-a-block with 100 short stories and poems; in fact there are probably more stories, which is why it's ended up so long. The publication date is still provisional at this stage, but I'd like it to be out by July/August - a year almost exactly since I began writing it. I'm aiming to read pieces from it at my Poetry Cafe show in early September - so that's roughly the time-scale I'm aiming for. At the moment all I've left to do is to proofread it through, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Anyway, more about that later and for now we'll move onto the next video...

Shy Yeti presents... The second of three visits to The Poetry Cafe, Covent Garden for his ROCK 'N' ROLLERCOASTER SHOW, as performed there on Saturday 5th May 2012. This was a night to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Shy Yeti (otherwise known as Paul Chandler)'s 2nd collection, ROLLERCOASTER and also to raise money for charity - on this occasion MS TRUST. Poems include KEEP ON GETTING IT WRONG, EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS EASY RIDER, WHY AGNES YOU'RE LOVELY and I AM A JELLY FISH. His special guest on the night was the fantastic John Smallshaw - and two of his poems appear in this film: LATE NIGHT CALLER and A FISH CALLED PYTHAGORAS. There will more footage of the night released over the next few weeks and this film even includes a specially recorded yeti dance! Cameraman for the evening was Dominic McCauley and he also appears during the links. Mr Yeti recorded a few bits too and edited it all together. Music is by Luca. This film and its contents are Copyright Paul Chandler/John Smallshaw, 2012.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/Os6Sqv5_s50

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/42603730

The linking pieces in this video were actually filmed back in late February when I thought I was going to be doing the ROLLERCOASTER show back in March - and the links were filmed quite near to my home in Weybridge. Luckily there was only one small comment about the original date of the show, so I was able to use everything else. As I've mentioned before I'll now be moving onto the second and final part of my German trip, before editing a third and final live video from ROLLERCOASTER... Any footage left over will pop up in any videos that I film over the next few months.
Next week I'll hopefully be posting another video and taking a look at how the online videos are looking - we're getting up towards 7000 hits on Youtube, so I'm kind of hoping that we may have reached 10,000 by Christmas. We're also drawing closer to my next Poetry Cafe show, so they'll be more live footage. I'm lining up a completely different set - selected from poems that were first posted here on this very blog to celebrate the 10th anniversary.

To finish with I'm posting something from the next book - it's another rather gory short story called CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS... Enjoy!!

That's it for now - more next week,

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS


Zak regarded the contents of the skip with a frown; he was the caretaker of a big block of expensive flats at The Barbican, London and it was part of his job to keep an eye on what was going on with the salvage for the building.

Sometimes he’d uncover some quite choice pickings amongst the waste – the people who lived in the block were rich and often disposed of perfectly edible food on the day it was “technically” meant to expire. It wasn’t unheard of for Zak to end up dining on caviar or the remains of a joint of beef, if he kept his eyes open.

He was used to seeing all manner of things; false teeth, hearing aids, oddly shaped vegetables; not to mention embarrassing school photos and private letters.

…And then, sometimes, there was worse – much, much worse…

As on this particular day…

Generally Zak tried not to mind as long as protocol was observed; but today someone was really taking the biscuit…

Zak stared disapprovingly into the black sack that slumped before him. It was full of miscellaneous body parts; legs – severed arms – a couple of heads and all sorts of other discarded organs. It was Mr Sylvester again, their resident serial killer.

“This shouldn’t have happened…” Zak grumbled, not relishing having to go speak to the man again; for Mr Sylvester was an Arsenal supporter and Zak followed Spurs. “That man never listens. He’s had enough warnings! This is his last chance!” he muttered furiously. “Why doesn’t he listen? Really, it’s not difficult… Body parts don’t go in the skip! Body parts go with food scraps in recycling…”


CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS is from the Paul Chandler's next book, ARE WE THERE, YETI? which is due out in the Summer from www.lulu.com. All content of this post is Copyright, Paul Chandler 2012

A YETI IN WINTER AND STUFF ABOUT BEARSOUP...

Hi,

I am happy to announce the arrival of A YETI IN WINTER - my latest SHY YETI ON LOCATION video. Here's some information about it:

A YETI IN WINTER is a new episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION. It was filmed between late December 2010 and January 2011 and this time it doesn't feature poems at all. However what it does feature s four 100-word stories written during January 2011: MONSTERS HAVE MANY FACES, A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DIVA, BIG CAKE and A ROARING SUCCESS. These stories come from Paul's forthcoming THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection of prose and poetry due out in the autumn. The episode was filmed in Wiltshire and Surrey and features two special guests: Harry and Calum. A YETI IN WINTER also features a yeti dance and something else a little like a yeti dance - not to mention Paul and Harry's expert masterclass in poem writing. Paul has a new book out soon - YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS - which features poems, prose and 9 spooky/creepy short stories. It is available from http://www.lulu.com/ from April 1st. The content of this video is Copyright Paul Chandler 2011.

The new video can be viewed at the following locations:

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKQXkn8fxtw
Vimeo: http://www.vimeo.com/20398992

Also - you may not have seen the 4th and final episode of A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD, so here are the links for that:

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qmsd8npSgw
Vimeo: http://www.vimeo.com/19604454

I hope you enjoy both the videos. Before I go I would also like to say something about my friend Bearsoup who has just launched a new online shop of his artwork. Why might you be interested? Read on dear reader...

WHERE TO BUY BEARSOUP STUFF

Here at Yeti Towers we’re a big fan of Bearsoup. Partly because he’s great - but also because without him we wouldn’t have Mr Yeti and personally it wouldn’t be a Shy Yeti book without him. Happily it appears that I’m not the only one who loves Mr Yeti! Due to popular demand we’re hoping to sort out some yeti-ish t-shirts in the near future, but I’m sure you’d also be interested to know that Bearsoup’s artwork can be seen at the following link: http://bearsoup.co.uk/ or better still you might like to visit his Cafépress shop at: http://www.cafepress.co.uk/BEARSOUPSHOP

Yes, indeed!

Well, that's it for now - more soon... Back to putting those finishing touches on YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS.

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN SHY YETI LAND!?! :)

Hello!

Well, I did promise a review of all my writing during 2010 and I do still intend to complete that post; but it's going to take longer than expected. I thought instead that I'd like to update you with some other news about stuff that is yet to happen.

Mainly as follows:

1) NEW POETRY VIDEOS

There are now 3 videos from my December 2010 trip to L.A. They are on both Youtube and Vimeo at the following links:

Part 1 is called: LA-LA-LAND...  and can be watched at either: www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0I_x9Xy6tI or www.vimeo.com/18133998

Part 2 is called: VEGAS-VA-VA-VOOM...   and can be watched at either: www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF4OlsOeqTY or www.vimeo.com/18238790

Part 3 is called: HOLLYWEIRDNESS and can be watched at either: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYYzcBIYS34 or www.vimeo.com/18970584

I'm undecided as to the title of the 4th part and it isn't ready for viewing yet, anyway, but I'm currently editing this video, which is due sometime in February.

I have also completed filming the next video after that which is provisionally entitled: A YETI IN WINTER and was filmed in the UK between late December 2010 and mid January 2011. There is also an additional episode of SHY YETI TALKS concerning my collection THIRD TIME LUCKY that I'd like to put out before Easter and the legendary lost SHY YETI VS AUTUMN two-part episode which I'd like to return to before the summer; by which time there will most likely be new live material. I also intend to film another SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode in a mainland European city during late April 2011.

2) YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS

I am in the final stage of proofing this book. All the poems and most of the behind the scenes stuff is ready to go. I'm just taking extra care to get the short stories proofed properly. You can see the cover and hear some of the poems from it in the new SHY YETI ON LOCATION videos. It is provisionally due out on Friday 1st April - with a book launch/gig party booked at The Poetry Café for Saturday 2nd April. More to follow on this...

3) NEW GIGS

I am hoping to go to open-mike night tomorrow for the first time in a while. More on that if and when it goes ahead. As mentioned I am planning a book launch/gig on Saturday 2nd April 2011. I am also working with Julie Howell PR to put on a show at The Poetry Café with a number of other creative types on Thursday 16th June 2011 - but once again; more on that and how to get hold of tickets nearer the time.

4) 100 WORD STORIES AND VAMPIRE COW POEMS

Things are going well with the writing of THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE AND OTHER DAFTNESSES - but this project now looks like it is going to include quite a lot of prose as well as well over 30 new poems. As of January 2011 I have been writing 100 word stories; this came about because I discovered some old ones that I had written during late 1994 and was quite pleased that they still held up so well. Last week I decided to write some more and have written getting on for 20 new 100 word stories which seem to have received some good feedback on Facebook and which I think will work well at gigs and in future Shy Yeti videos. In fact I have recorded 4 of them for SHY YETI IN WINTER… I include one of them below - it's called GRANDPA'S WIG and was only written at the weekend. I hope you'll like it.

5) OTHER PROJECTS

On top of all this I am also working on proofing GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM - with my mum returning to proofreading with this particular book after a break of around 5 years. I am also typing some of the short Mouse stories that I wrote back in 2007 and 2008 for another book of short stories. In addition to this I am working on expanded 10th anniversary editions of both JUNK/FOOD and ROLLERCOASTER my first poetry collections from late 2001 and early 2002.

More news on various projects - including open-mike night if it happens, soon.

Thank you for reading!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx


GRANDPA’S WIG


Tommy was sure his Mum was lying...

“Grandpa wears a wig!” she’d whispered in confidence.

Tommy wasn’t convinced.

Once when Grandpa was sleeping he’d sneaked a quick look himself and sure enough when he tugged at it Grandpa’s luxuriant hair flew off without resistance.

Much to Tommy’s surprise, on Grandpa’s shiny bald head there sat a grumpy-looking rabbit with long white ears. “Some of us are trying to sleep!” it snapped.

Tommy dropped the wig and ran...

Eventually he overcame the shock; but after that every time he saw Grandpa - Tommy always took a carrot with him; just in case...

GRANDPA'S WIG was written on Saturday 22nd January 2011 and is Copyright Paul Chandler 2011

SUTTON PARK AND A NEW POEM FROM DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS?

Hi,

First off  I'm going to briefly mention my spoof B-movie series, SUTTON PARK SW1 - simply because I showcase my SOUPCON OF SHY YETI book as part of the plot. This hasn't been the first mention of my poetry in the show since it came back; as it is now part of the history of the character that I play; which is a fictional version of myself. Part 5 has my latest book showing up and causing a time anomoly!! It's true... I can't really explain it any more than that because it is simply extremely daft. The poetry spoof-sci-fi action continues into Part 6, due to be posted somewhen in April.

Here is the link to Part 5 where the book shows up for the first time:

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0NJ9l1O_oA

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/10551587

As promised I will also be posting up a few new poems (approx one a week) from the new DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS collection, which is due out in early May. There will also be a new poetry video during April to highlight the arrival of the new book, which is currently in the final stages of proofreading.

This week's poem is called YOU COULD BE MY PIN-UP, which takes the idea of being a pin-up to the most absurd levels...

I hope you like it - they'll be more soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

YOU COULD BE MY PIN-UP…


Now, you could be my pin-up…
If you’re looking for some action!
You’ve a face for bedroom walls –
And there’s an obvious attraction…
You shouldn’t be at all surprised –
If you soon break a million hearts!
Or become the centre of attention –
For horrid hate-mail or for darts!
Because you can’t predict responses –
Be they fuelled by love or hate…
Yours may be a face they puke at –
You may be their one dream date!
So, if you’d like to be my pin-up…
Take your place upon my wall!
I’d be honoured now to host you –
It is my pleasure; not at all!!


Oh, you could be my pin-up…
If you’re looking for a job!
Pin yourself upon my wall –
But you will have to shut your gob!
You will have to keep it buttoned –
Gurn inanely nine to five!
If your adhesive loses stick –
Then you may have to take a dive!
Also, stuck up by the window –
You must be a little crafty!
Wear some insulated pants –
In case it gets a little draughty!
You can be my lucky charm!
You can be next week’s big face!
Just be my pin-up of the moment –
Before you vanish without trace!


So, you could be my pin-up –
If you’re looking for some fun…
Upon the wall you may diminish –
Or soon be faded by the sun…
Over time you may grow tatty –
Or be tarnished by a tear…
May become a fashion victim –
With your awful noughties hair!
It’s just something you must live with –
Or it could be your sad undoing!
Just accept that you’ll be patched up –
Or may need a spot of gluing!
Yes, that’s the sad fate of the pin-up…
Don’t it feel like time just flew!
Soon you’ll feel like you’re forgotten –
To be replaced by someone new!


Hey! You could be my pin-up –
If you’re looking for some work…
You can sit upon my desk –
Just simply grinning like a berk!
Yes, still there upon my calendar –
With your cheeky little smile…
Simply staring at me working –
Not ever resting for a while…
You can weigh down all my clutter –
You can be my sticky tape!
You can be my paper clip –
Or wear an outfit made of crepe!
You’ll still be my favourite person –
Even when you’re long since gone…
You’ll still be my special pin-up!
You’ll always be my number one…

YOU CAN BE MY PIN-UP is Copyright Paul Chandler 2010.

SOME MORE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE AND VIMEO!!!

I thought I should probably announce the posting of my second SHY YETI ON LOCATION show - this one filmed in a secret location in London.

SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION

This episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION is filmed from not one, but two secret locations - and one of those is full of snow!!! This time Mr Yeti reads three poems: WE'RE GOING TO CLONE YOU, I LOVE YOU LESS and DON'T SNOG BEES from his almost finished new book - DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? There is also a couple of verses of a poem-in-progress and of course - more crazy yeti dancing! :) The second video link is to a clip featuring out-takes from the first show...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWanDuIRPzY
http://www.vimeo.com/8650570

OUT-TAKES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxkV9Gu1ymI

Out-takes on VIMEO to follow mid-week as I have hit my upload limit for the week.


VIDEO CHART: as of 17.30 on 11/01/2010...

As I haven't updated this list for a while I thought I'd just do a small roll-call of which of my online videos (other than BLOGTV ones) have been getting the most viewers. Please note - all 2010 videos have been posted on both Youtube and Vimeo, all previous videos posted just on Vimeo.

1st BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR = 125 views
2nd UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE = 121 views
3rd SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET = 85 views
4th YETI SPAGHETTI = 73 views
5th I NEVER GET INVITED... = 63 views
6th LITTLE PIG = 50 views
7th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE = 49 views
8th YETI SPAGHETTI (OUT-TAKES)= 48 views
9th MY MOMENT IS NOW = 46 views
=10th SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET (OUT-TAKES)= 44 views
=10th PICCADILLY CIRCUS = 44 views
12th THEY WARNED ME = 38 views
13th THINGS AIN'T... = 25 views
14th MY DOG IN A DRESS = 20 views
=15th THE TRUE LIGHT = 17 views
=15th A VOICE IN MY HEAD = 17 views
=15th SHY YETI LIVE = 17 views
18th CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND = 16 views
=19th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION = 14 views
=19th RECKLESSLY = 14 views
=19th GOOD HUG = 14 views
22nd DAREDEVIL = 13 views
23rd THE SORRY TALE... = 12 views
24th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION (OUT-TAKES)= 11 views

I know I promised a new poem this post - but as you have a whole new video to watch - which contains 3 and a half new poems I think that's quite enough for one post!

More soon - take care and get watching them there videos - yeti hugs,

Paul xx