MR YETI LIVE (AGAIN) AT THE POETRY CAFE - SATURDAY 2ND APRIL 2011
This post is going to be all about my Poetry Cafe show from last weekend - with the usual breakdown of what exactly went on and which poems that I read. I'm not sure if it was just me, but it seemed to be a quite hot evening for early April - but a few of my poems were quite fiery so that worked okay! *drip, drip, drip!*
I read 38 poems in all - as follows:
FIRST HALF
YETI SPAGHETTI
YOUR APRIL FOOL *
YOU DON'T EXIST *I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES *
CAT THIEF *
PICCADILLY CIRCUS *
A FLEA TEA PARTY *
BAD STUFF I WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU *THE PARENTS TURN AGAINST THE CHILDREN *
CUP CAKETHE MEN IN WHITE COATS ARE MY FRIENDS *
FILM STAR *
DEAR AUNTIE ASTRID...
CAN YOU FORGIVE HER? (TENNANT/LOWE) * (SOME)
RESPECTABLE TEXTS *
LITTLE PIG *
OH, FLORENCE!!! *
STREETLIGHT GLAMOUR *
WE'RE AN ITEM NOW *
DISCO YETI *
RECKLESSLY
I NEVER SAY NO TO PIE...
COMING INTO LAND * (SOME)
BRAINS!!! *
COMING OUT... *
IF YOU WERE MY WIFE *
D.J., DARLING
A DISORGANISED LIBRARY IS A VERY BAD THING
KITTEN SPIT, ALABAMA *
LAID *
LEGGY BLONDE *
THE NEXT TRAIN DOES NOT CALL AT THIS STATION *
A MONKEY'S UNCLE *
IF SHAKESPEARE WAS AROUND TODAY
MY DOG IN A DRESS
THE TRUE LIGHT
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE
I WILL EAT PIES
Please Note: All videos with an asterisk (*) aside them indicates that they were filmed by Dan Hodges for inclusion in future SHY YETI LIVE and SHY YETI ON LOCATION videos. In all 26 out the 38 pieces were recorded.
In a little more detail:
FIRST HALF
YETI SPAGHETTI
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
I like to begin my shows with a yeti referencing poem - although I bodged that idea in the second half. This was originally written as the title piece for a collection of poems for children which, as yet, has not been finished. The yeti that appears in most of my books and on t-shirts and stickers was designed for use in this project. This poem originally appeared in my 2008 collection SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE CRUST COLLECTION.
YOUR APRIL FOOL *
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
I was a day late reading this one, which originally appeared in my 2007 collection RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR. It's just a simple piece about someone revelling in being made a fool by somebody they love - simply because they adore them so much. I'm pleased that Dan recorded this one as it's about time it had some video to represent itself.
YOU DON'T EXIST *
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
This is another old piece - that first appeared in POETIQUETTE from 2005. It's a bit of a broken-hearted one, of course though - but then you need a balance after all my daft pieces about pies and yeti!!
I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES *
From: MUGSHOTS (2004)
This is one that I recorded on Vimeo back in 2008 and is also one of my highest rated poems online. It's a funny old piece - as I said at the show on the night; I'm not sure if people watch it because they genuinely like it or because they think it's going to be rude. It's really not terribly rude at all and is merely the cravings of a frustrated housewife; my attempt to write something in the style of either Victoria Wood or Pam Ayres.
CAT THIEF *
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
This is one of my favourites which originally appeared in IF POEMS WERE PIES (also 2009). It's perhaps the nearest thing I've written to a rap, but it's a pretty silly one all in all - I always enjoy reading it.
PICCADILLY CIRCUS *
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
One of my older pieces, which originally appeared in ROLLERCOASTER (2002). It was inspired by my boss, Anita, who can often be heard to say (quite rightly!) "It's like Piccadilly Circus around here..." when the library gets particularly busy.
A FLEA TEA PARTY *
BAD STUFF I WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU *
THE PARENTS TURN AGAINST THE CHILDREN *
CUP CAKE
THE MEN IN WHITE COATS ARE MY FRIENDS *
FILM STAR *
All from: YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS (2011)
Six pieces from my new collection - the first I recorded a video for last summer during my SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY episode, whilst the second, third, fifth and sixth pieces I'd not performed before. CUP CAKE is one of the oldest from that collection and also appeared as a sampler in my 2010 book A SOUPCON OF SHY YETI; I have also performed it at a number of gigs.
DEAR AUNTIE ASTRID...
From: THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)
This is included in my forthcoming VAMPIRES COWS book, this also appears in my next Mouse of Commons novel GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTERCLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM. Coming up with these Auntie Astrid pieces is some of my favourite writing work in the last five years. This piece is about a goldfish who wishes to become a shark.
CAN YOU FORGIVE HER? (TENNANT/LOWE) * (SOME)
Pet Shop Boys song lyrics (1993)
This was my cover version for the night. Last time it was Noel Coward - this time it was The Pet Shop Boys. It's probably one of my favourite lyrics of all their songs.
RESPECTABLE TEXTS *
From: YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS (2011)
Another piece from the new book - this one I've included on the blog and was included in my new SHY YETI ON LOCATION video: SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN which was posted on the afternoon of the gig. (More details below) I hadn't intended to read this as I'd read it at open-mike quite recently - however one of the audience members, Maggie Hughes, especially requested it. So who am I to refuse!?!
LITTLE PIG *
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
Another favourite of mine, which was originally included in my 2008 volume SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION. It was written at my friend Vinnie's house back in the day... Under his alter-ego of BEARSOUP, Vinnie designed Mr Yeti and was also in the audience for this show, which is partly why I read it.
OH, FLORENCE!!! *
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
And another favourite!! I have read this a number of times at shows. It's one of my silliest and weirdest pieces - but I have a very soft spot for it. It originally appeared in my THIRD TIME LUCKY book from 2002.
SECOND HALF
STREETLIGHT GLAMOUR *
WE'RE AN ITEM NOW *
From: YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS (2011)
The 2nd half was supposed to start with DISCO YETI, but Maggie requested these two - as she already had the book and had chosen those as her favourites... STREETLIGHT GLAMOUR, I know to be a couple of other people's favourite from the book - and I'm glad she asked me to do WE'RE AN ITEM NOW as I had forgotten that it's quite a nice one to read aloud. Sometimes taking random requests to read poems ends up with me discovering pieces that I've never performed before. It's all good!
DISCO YETI *
RECKLESSLY
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
Although both from different collections these were both collected together in my SHY YETI RULES OK compilation which I recently re-issued as an updated edition for 2011. DISCO YETI originally comes from my 2007 collection RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR, whilst RECKLESSLY originates from 2004's LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED.
I NEVER SAY NO TO PIE...
From: SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008)
This is a piece from a few years ago which I rather enjoy reading - I think it's one of the ones that missed out being read in my November 2010 show. Mmmmm. Pie.
COMING INTO LAND * (SOME)
BRAINS!!! *
From: THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)
A couple of new pieces from THE VAMPIRE COW book - the first a short poem written just before I landed in Los Angeles during my first trip there in August 2010 and the second a pretty short story involving zombies - of a kind... But I can say no more!!
COMING OUT... *
From: FUNERAL FOR A SHOE (2012)
This is a very new piece - in fact I had only written it a couple of days before reading it at the show. It comes from the book after next which I have just started, called FUNERAL FOR A SHOE - which I guess will be ready in the first quarter of 2012. It 's a poem about coming out - as a poet...
IF YOU WERE MY WIFE *
From: THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)
This is one of my more recent favourites - written in early 2011 for inclusion in the VAMPIRE COWS book, due out in July 2011. It is dedicated to my good friend and "wifey" Jo. The first time I attempted to read it at an Open Mike night in February 2011 I ran out of my allotted time just two lines before the end - so I was glad to be able to read it - unrushed - on this occasion.
D.J., DARLING
From: DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? (2010)
This is from last year's collection and is one that I wanted to read at my November 2010 show - but which I ran out of time to fit in. It was written whilst I was staying in Nice for a long weekend in late-September 2009.
A DISORGANISED LIBRARY IS A VERY BAD THING
KITTEN SPIT, ALABAMA *
LAID *
LEGGY BLONDE *
THE NEXT TRAIN DOES NOT CALL AT THIS STATION *
A MONKEY'S UNCLE *
IF SHAKESPEARE WAS AROUND TODAY
From: THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)
The first five of these are 100-word stories that I wrote earlier this year for inclusion in the next book. A MONKEY'S UNCLE is a new rhyming poem and IF SHAKESPEARE WAS AROUND is either a sketch or a prose poem, however you want to look at it. A DISORGANISED LIBRARY is one of my earliest 100-word stories that I wrote in 1994. I also allowed the audience to select between the following:
a) FROM ARGUMENT TO ORNAMENT, A DISORGANISED LIBRARY IS A VERY BAD THING, FENIX FROM THE FLAME
b) HER SUMMER HOLIDAY, KITTEN SPIT - ALABAMA, LAID
In the end I read two of these...
c) OPEN MIKE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, HARRASSING THE SUN (GIBSON), IF SHAKESPEARE WAS AROUND TODAY
Harry called for the SHAKESPEARE piece - Gibson called for HARRASSING THE SUN, but Harry got there first. On this occasion, towards the end of the show - there wasn't really time for both. I'm glad SHAKESPEARE got the call, because although I like all three of these I knew I'd enjoy reading that one most of all.
MY DOG IN A DRESS
THE TRUE LIGHT
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE
I WILL EAT PIES
From: SHY YETI RULES OK (2009)
Although these poems were originally from different collections they were all collected in my compiled SHY YETI RULES OK volume which I have just issued an updated edition of. I won't go into too much detail on these as they are the usual ones that I tend to finish the night with.
Which were my own personal favourites of the night? I'm not being egotistical here - I just mean which ones did I enjoy reading most on the night or thought worked the best.
I'd say probably I enjoyed performing IF SHAKESPEARE WAS AROUND TODAY the most. I enjoyed doing the dodgy wheeler-dealer voice - although I got so carried away I ended up reading the start of MY DOG IN A DRESS in the same accent! I definitely enjoyed reading the 100-word stories as they are new and a little different from what I have done before. I also enjoyed reading CUP CAKE, because it's quite creepy and FILMSTAR allows for a bit of acting - which I also found fun to do. Reading anything that an audience member chooses without being provoked is also very flattering...
Which brings me to to audience member Maggie Hughes who I would like to thank for reading ahead and arriving at the show with a few favourites from the new book that she requested I read. So, thank you Maggie for making my "job" easy here by suggesting some of the pieces that you wanted to hear.
Poems or stories which narrowly escaped being peformed on the night included: CATFOOD IN YOUR EYEBROWS, CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND, JUST HOW SLUTTY ARE LIBRARY BOOKS?, CHILLI PEPPER FINGERS, THE BIRTHDAY THAT NEVER WAS, THE BARD OF BELGRAVIA, FROM ARGUMENT TO ORNAMENT, FENIX FROM THE FLAME, HER SUMMER HOLIDAY, OPEN-MIKE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, HARRASSING THE SUN, DO SHEEP MIGRATE?, SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA, THE BALLAD OF TINY ELVIS, NO-ONE EVER FELT COOL BUYING AN MP3 FILE, I WANT YOU NOW... (NO I DON'T!), MY MOMENT IS NOW!!!, THE INEFFECTUAL ASSASSIN, A MOST BORING MAN, YOU TRULY WERE THE HANDSOMEST..., I LOVE YOU LESS..., A LITTLE MOUSE, LAS VEGAS LIPS, THE KING OF RHYME and ENGLAND LOVES YOU.
Lastly I can also announce the good news that the first episode of my 2 part "lost" SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN series also went online on Saturday 2nd April 2011 - just before I headed off to The Poetry Cafe for the show.
Details as follows:
The video can be viewed on Youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ar9iGgcnHc
Or on Vimeo at the following link: http://www.vimeo.com/21857799
I hope to get on with editing the 2nd SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN video which has footage from both Surrey and Venice (Ahh! Beautiful Surrey...) during April - as well as posting a SHY YETI LIVE video from the 2nd April 2011 show. Dan Hodges recorded approximately 45 minutes of my performance - which I intend to include in future episodes of SHY YETI ON LOCATION rather than posting it all at once. I will be announcing the location of my special European episode later this month (if I haven't let that slip already somewhere - I forget now...) This episode will be filmed between Thursday 28th April and Sunday 1st May 2011. What I will announce here is that I hope that there will also be a new London episode filmed between Friday 22nd and Wednesday 27th April 2011 which will guest star Mr Dominic McCauley - who will also be appearing in the mysterious "European episode!" too. These episodes should keep you going through May and early June when I intend to film another episode to be posted in late June - before I return to L.A. again in late July!
So - all go on the video front and more information as it happens. I also expect the new Mouse Of Commons book and THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE book to be out by early July - but we'll just have to see how things go!
But for now, thanks again to Baz, Calum, Harry, Gibson, Miles, Vinnie, Jo, Maggie, Robert and Dan for attending the show - also to everybody who sent me nice Facebook messages and texts before the event; especially Dominic!!! An additional thank you to Dan Hodges for recording so much of the show for me.
Yeti hugs,
Paul xxx
P.S. I am a very bad yeti... I forgot to mention that the show was also in aid of charity and to thank people for their donations. The evening was in memory of a former colleague, Rohinton Sethna who also used to support my work but who sadly passed away last year. In his memory I made the show a charitable event in aid of The British Heart Foundation. I am pleased to say that between the audience at the show and colleagues at work we all raised nearly £100 for the charity. Thanks again.
P.S. I am a very bad yeti... I forgot to mention that the show was also in aid of charity and to thank people for their donations. The evening was in memory of a former colleague, Rohinton Sethna who also used to support my work but who sadly passed away last year. In his memory I made the show a charitable event in aid of The British Heart Foundation. I am pleased to say that between the audience at the show and colleagues at work we all raised nearly £100 for the charity. Thanks again.
