MY CAT OWNS ME... (NEW PROSE)

DEELEY CAT - HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD...

Hello beasties!

Just a quick piece this week as I've been busy editing two podcast episodes side by side, one of them the second of the two Venice episodes and the other a silly episode involving Cromitty that I recorded out of the blue last weekend; more on that duo of episodes next week.

So, all I really have for you this week is a new short prose piece - I heard the phrase "flash prose" today for the first time and am wondering if that's not the more precise description of the "prose pieces" that you often hear me going on about.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_prose

Yeah, that kind of fits the description of a lot of the things that I publish on here and in my books... Flash prose, aye!? That's kind of flash, isn't it?

The new piece is - once again - inspired by my beloved kitty, Deeley and the way that he treats his loyal human pals. I won't say any more as it's pretty much all said in the piece, so let's just get on with it and I'll see you back here next week! 

Oh, before I go - just to let you know - I will definitely be releasing a Christmas post this year. It features Gladstone McWhiskers, Mouse Of Commons inviting Shy Yeti to a Christmas Party - but this one is perhaps a party with a difference... You'll have to read it to see why!! On top of that I'll also be releasing a post by way of a Review Of My Year - full of links to posts that I've written during 2016.

Anyway, more soon! Take care - yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS This piece was written on date of posting, Thursday 8th December 2016.

MY CAT OWNS ME...

My cat owns me...

Should I ever doubt that?

Every day, without fail...
My cat drags me over to his perch -

I only have to be passing - 
On the way to the sock drawer or to collect breakfast bowls bound for the sink...
Should he see me then my cat will do his very best to grab my attention..,

This he does by shouting out with his most loud and obnoxious meow...

"Get over here - now, right this minute!"

Should I dilly dally then he will make it clearly known that he disapproves -

And he will repeat his demands...

Only this time, louder, faster, meaner...

Once I'm ready to give in I approach him where he sits -
He is on head height up there - so we face one another...

My cat seems very pleased to see me...

The angry, impatient mews become sweet and approving chirrups.

It actually feels nice to receive such praise.

It's a pat on the head, in a way - 

A good mark in class for a piece of work laboured over...

So now - standing there in position; 
It is almost immediately that the arm licking begins!

I used to presume that he was simply trying to groom me -

It made me laugh because the thought of him doing that was ridiculous!

He would never manage it all; I'm far too furry...
It's okay, kitty - a shower will do the job just fine.

Of course I now realise that what the licking actually represents -

Is a feline form of tagging - a method of labelling...

"THIS IS MY HUMAN!! HE IS MY PROPERTY - SO HANDS OFF!!"

It's a declaration of ownership - a warning to others of his kind...

Some might find this disturbing - uncomfortable; 
Some might shrug their shoulders, non-plussed - 
They consider it to be just the way animals are...

But I must say that I feel quite differently...

It actually makes my heart swell with pride;
That he feels it necessary to signpost his most treasured possession.

"THIS HUMAN IS MINE! MINE! MINE!"
I cannot tell you how proud I am for it to be so...
He wants ME! He really does... 
He may ignore me on occasion - but will never completely reject me; 
Anything but...
I belong to this fine furry beast...
With his manly purrs - his sharp claws -
Claws that may kill or simply guide or instruct...
My cat... With his lazy demeanour -
With his greedy faced contradictions -
And his evident addiction to catnip.
Such handsome whiskers...
With such a daft way about him - 

Oh yes, my cat owns me; really owns me...

There is no doubt about it...

This post and all contents are copyright Paul Chandler, 2016.