Hello!

Things are going well with my next collection of poems : THE AUTUMNAL E.P.

I've written about 25 so far and the collection is only going to be about 30 pieces long this time. Writing and editing work is due to be completed whilst I'm away in the Lake District at the end of September and then I hope the finished volume will be out at the start of November.

My older poetry volumes are still available to buy (see previous post below) - however here is the first sample from the new collection - a piece entitled ANIMAL CRUELTY... Enjoy! Paul x

ANIMAL CRUELTY.


Would you like to alarm a Llama?

Would you care to poke a pig?

Or perhaps knee cap a Kanga…

Though their feet are rather big…

Wanna trifle with a tiger?

Pea-shoot a swan or two…

Or dunk a drunken donkey…

In a pile of steaming poo…

Maybe pluck spines from a hedgehog…

Charge them money for return…

Leave a lion scared and naked…

Crown jewels hidden by a fern…

Could try cussing at a Cart-horse…

Or Bitch-slap a Buffalo?

Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it!

‘Cos you simply wouldn’t know…

Make a lamb feel quite uncomfortable…

By shouting out “Mint Sauce!”

Tease an owl with cryptic crosswords -

Or old episodes of Morse!

Move some noisy foreign tourists –

To a quiet mouse’s hole…

Steal a bear’s prized pot of honey…

Put a sheep dog on the dole…

Would it make you very merry -

Just to see a young calf die…

You lure it home by moo-ing…

Next it’s in your Cottage pie…

Cause a tantrum with a terrapin –

Laughing rudely in it’s face…

Keep reminding Mr Hare ‘bout –

How the tortoise won that race…

Slam-dance a Salamander -

Sending stink bombs down the farm…

I can see you gaily chortle -

At the thought of causing harm!

So…

Before you torture Easter bunnies…

I will tell you now please don’t…

You may find it rather funny…

But the beasties surely won’t!!!