Hello and Happy New Year from myself and Charlie Grrr!!!
I am pleased to announce that things are moving quite quickly now towards a new volume of poems; RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR. Having written a few new pieces during the Christmas Holidays I am now working towards designing the new book and choosing the photos to go with each poem, whilst Charlie Grrr writes his comments.
You will notice that there is still quite a pie/bear based theme to this collection, following 2006s POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL.
Titles which I expect to include are as follows:
ALL GOOD PIES MUST END…
BLACK AND WHITE LIFE
THE CAT WITH THE STRANGEST PURR…
A CURE TO ALL KNOWN ILLS… (THE BALLAD OF A BEAR…)
DO YOU WANNA SEE MY PIE CHART?
EXACTLY WHAT BEARS CAN’T BEAR…
GIRLS LIKE ALENA…
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT…
GRANNY ERNESTINA…
HOOVERING BRUSSELS…
HOW I’D LOVE TO BE A CAVEMAN…
I DON’T WANT TO BE POSTED!!
I WILL EAT PIES…
THE INFATUATION DANCE!!
"IT…"
IT’S HARD TO LOOK YOUR BEST (WHEN YOU’RE A VAMPIRE…)
LOCKED UP IN A CELL, PIE BLUES…
MOTHER ALWAYS HAS THE CRACKED MUG…
MY BABY, THE MONSTER…
MY SUPERSTAR BOUDOIR…
NEVER SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL…
OBSCENE QUEENS AND OTHER ROYALTY…
PARISIAN MICE AND OTHER TERRORS…
PEROXIDE BLONDE…
RHYMING POT-POURRI…
SWEET OLETA…
WE DON’T DANCE TO LOVESONGS…
WHAT BEARS DO…
WHAT I SAY (AND WHAT I MEAN…)
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DON’T LIKE YOU!?!
WHICH WAY UP?
YOUR KNIGHT IN PINK LAME
There will be a few more to come before the book is finished - but that's a good start. I always come up with new stuff whilst I'm putting together a collection. The photos range from things taken in early 2006, up until things taken whilst away down by the sea at New Year 2007. A couple of the poems also appear in the Mouse of Commons novel GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE BEARGRRRIAN DILEMMA, but that won't be available until the autumn at the earliest. A couple of others appeared in the limited edition WILDLIFE photo collection book published last summer.
I expect the book to be available around April, hopefully just before Easter.
The poem that appears at the end of this post is my pie based ode to the song "I Will Survive!" I hope you like it.
In last minute news, I'd like to announce that there may well be a second book of poems out towards the end of this year - and that if this happens it will be a joint project with a friend of mine from the Netherlands. More about that when there's more to tell!!!
I WILL EAT PIES
First my place was laid -
And then my eggs were fried!
To put the gravy through a sieve?
Well you could not decide…
I ran up so many flights -
When I heard that dinner gong...
There I belong -
And now I sing this simple song!
I had a snack...
I stuffed my face…
All you did was stand and jeer...
As if I was some deep disgrace!!
What made you wear that dreadful frock -
What made you make that stupid plea…
If you had known I'd just had seconds -
You'd have proper clobbered me...
Go on now, duck - I want some more...
I'll pretend I didn't see -
You dropped that pie upon the floor!
Back when I weighed a ton! Oh, then I used to be so shy...
Did you think that pastry'd crumble?
Did you never wonder why?
Oh no, not I -
I will eat pies!
As long as there's a cake above -
Or a nice swiss roll - or five!
If you've a syrup sponge to give...
Oh, just stop acting like a div!
And feed me pies...
I want your pies!!
OH PIEEEEEES!!!!
When I eat a pie I'm glad -
But then I fall apart...
Left here to sit and tend
The pieces of my broken tart!
I've got your pastry in my sight -
And I want it for myself...
It makes me cry -
That I've got nothing left to fry!!
Will you feed me?
Your tasty stew?
I'm still that hungry little person -
Who will smile and loves to chew!
Would you want to see me thin?
Do I have to pay a fee?
Now I'm saving all my stuffing -
For some pies I bought for tea!
Go on now, love - feed me some more...
I'll pretend I didn't see -
You dropped those pies upon the floor!
Back when I weighed a little more… Back when I used to sit and sigh...
Did you think I'd break the table -
With the sheer weight of my thigh!
Oh no, not I -
I will eat pies!
As long as there's a cake I love -
Or a nice cream eclair - or five!
If you've a spotted dick to give...
It should be quite easy to forgive!
Just feed me pies...
I want those pies!!
SWEET PIEEEEEES!!!!
More soon!!!
Paul xx
