SHY YETI COOKS...

AND "MOST WATCHED" OF 2012 REVEALED!!

Hello beasties!

This week I'm going to unveil the first new video of 2013, SHY YETI COOKS and also announce which of the new videos released during 2012 got the highest ratings. Not only that, but I also intend to share a few photos from last week's Dorset trip. Let's start with the new video! Here's some information about it:

SHY YETI COOKS is the first Shy Yeti film posted in 2013. It is a sequel to SHY YETI'S HAUNTED KITCHEN which was posted at Halloween 2012 and was filmed between late August and early-October 2012. It also contains an, as yet, unpublished poem called THE TRUTH ABOUT CAKE. The film stars Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) and guest stars Dominic McCauley. Camera is by Paul Chandler and Dan Hodges. Music is by Luca and Spooky Yeti. All content of this film is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/2aLPS1AHAog

100%

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/56903931

The list that follows is the final ratings for all new videos released during 2012, taken from both my MRSHYYETI Youtube profile and my SHY YETI Vimeo profile. It is not an overall list of all my videos and includes only those released between the 1st January and the 31st December 2012; it does not include some of those older videos that have been on Vimeo for years but which I migrated to Youtube in the Summer...

HIGHEST RATED NEW SHY YETI VIDEOS OF 2012

1^st BEWARE OF THE VAMPIRE COWS!!! = 332 views
2^nd SHY YETI OUT IN THE NEW FOREST = 273 views
3^rd ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERCOASTER SHOW - 1 = 268 views
=4^th SHY YETI’S MINI EUROPEAN TOUR 2011 – PT 2 = 267 views
=4^th SHY YETI WELCOMES SPRING = 267 views
6^th A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - 1 = 260 views
7^th SHY YETI GOES BUSHY = 257 views
8^th SHY YETI TAKES (A TRIP) TO BATH = 254 views
9^th SHY YETI GOES WILD = 252 views
10^th ROCK ‘N’ ROLLERCOASTER SHOW - 2 = 251 views
11^th A TALE OF 2 CITIES, 1 YETI - 2 = 245 views
12^th SHY YETI’S INTER-WEB/BLOG BONANZA - 1 = 239 views
13^th SHY YETI GOES WILD ON THE RADIO - 1 = 237 views
14^th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 7 = 119 views
15^th YETI HUNT U.S.A – PART 8 = 118 views
=16^th YETI HUNT U.S.A. – PART 6 = 111 views
=16^th JUNK/FOOD GIG 2 = 111 views
18^th SHY YETI ON RADIO FOR VALENTINE’S = 108 views
19^th SHY YETI’S HAUNTED KITCHEN = 101 views
20^th SHY YETI GOES WILD - 2 = 85 views
21^st SHY YETI LIVE FROM BROADSTAIRS = 83 views
=22^nd SHY YETI’S SEA-SIDE SHUFFLE – PART 1 = 79 views
=22^nd SHY YETI’S BEST OF BRITISH - 1 = 79 views
24^th SHY YETI’S BEST OF BRITISH - 2 = 74 views
25^th A VERY YETI CHRISTMAS (2012) = 69 views
26^th SHY YETI’S SPOOKYCREEPY SHOW = 61 views
=27^th SUTTON PARK (2012) – PART 1 = 58 views
=27^th SHY YETI GOES WILD ON THE RADIO - 2 = 58 views
29^th SHY YETI’S “LOST” HOLLYWOOD VIDEO = 56 views
30^th SHY YETI’S SEA-SIDE PREVIEW = 52 views
31^st SHY YETI’S SEA-SIDE SHUFFLE – PART 2 = 51 views
32^nd SHY YETI BOTTLES SUMMER = 46 views
33^rd SHY YETI GOES WILD – LIVE = 42 views
34^th SHY YETI’S BLOG BONANZA – 2 = 33 views
35^th SHY YETI’S “THIRD TIME LUCKY” SHOW= 30 views

I'm really happy that the BEWARE OF THE VAMPIRE COWS film did so well. It's actually a video that I recorded in Summer 2011 and had to hold back for editing in 2012; it's also not a poetry video - but a video that includes some of my short 100 words stories from the Vampire Cows collection. Maybe I'll consider doing a few more short story videos as both BEWARE and A YETI IN WINTER (2011) seem to have gone down well. It's probably no surprise that the videos that did the best are the ones from earlier in the year - SHY YETI GOES BUSHY and SHY YETI GOES WILD being two of my favourites, although the "spinning" yeti dance in the New Forest episode and some of the silly sketches in the Bath episode were quite memorable to film.

I'm hoping in time that some of 2012's later videos start to pick up more hits, as I'm especially keen on the "LOST" HOLLYWOOD, BEST OF BRITISH and SEA-SIDE SHUFFLE episodes... Oh, and the Halloween ones... Okay! So I like them all! Well, I did make them! :) As I've mentioned before, I probably have enough for about a dozen episodes that were filmed in 2012, but are currently unedited - but I'll get to those eventually. More news on those once the RETURN TO DORSET episode is up.

Overall 2012 was my best year yet as far as "hits" for the films, we are well over 18,000 hits on Youtube, which is great considering that back in the summer I was excited that we'd even reached 10,000 At a guess I'd say that over half of our views came during the last 12 months and in December we averaged well over 1700 hits in a month, so hopefully we'll do even better during 2013. In a year where it took me rather longer than I hoped to get new material out in a printed format, I am happy to be able to look back and see that many of my newer pieces made their debuts either in yeti films or at the four Poetry Cafe shows that took place last year.

Before I sign off, I'd like to share a few photos from last week's return trip to Dorset... These were taken at a number of the locations featured in the forthcoming film, which I hope to be ready later in January. Locations featured include Corfe Castle, Swanage and Lulworth Cove. Food featured includes ice cream and pie and chips!! PS The picture of me with the glass of wine (Yes! It is wine!) was taken as New Year 2013 - not that this excuses the hat. PPS There is no excuse for the other odd expressions or hats that I am wearing in any of the other photos.

That's about it for now! Next week I'll be posting a new poem that I finished on New Year's Eve. It's called A YETI WAY OF THINKING and I'm beginning to consider it as a possible title for a future collection, but I'll think on about that. I'll also be discussing the forthcoming ARE WE THERE, YETI!? collection that is hopefully due out in early February. I'm also going to be discussing the collection that follows it, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS...

More soon.

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

This post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

MORE LIVE YETI AND STUFF ABOUT THE NEW BOOK...

Hello again!

This week I'm here to unveil another live video from my ROCK 'N' ROLLERCOASTER SHOW and to share with you a piece from my forthcoming collection, ARE WE THERE, YETI!? It's looking to be my longest collection yet - but then it is chock-a-block with 100 short stories and poems; in fact there are probably more stories, which is why it's ended up so long. The publication date is still provisional at this stage, but I'd like it to be out by July/August - a year almost exactly since I began writing it. I'm aiming to read pieces from it at my Poetry Cafe show in early September - so that's roughly the time-scale I'm aiming for. At the moment all I've left to do is to proofread it through, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Anyway, more about that later and for now we'll move onto the next video...

Shy Yeti presents... The second of three visits to The Poetry Cafe, Covent Garden for his ROCK 'N' ROLLERCOASTER SHOW, as performed there on Saturday 5th May 2012. This was a night to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Shy Yeti (otherwise known as Paul Chandler)'s 2nd collection, ROLLERCOASTER and also to raise money for charity - on this occasion MS TRUST. Poems include KEEP ON GETTING IT WRONG, EIGHTEEN HUNDREDS EASY RIDER, WHY AGNES YOU'RE LOVELY and I AM A JELLY FISH. His special guest on the night was the fantastic John Smallshaw - and two of his poems appear in this film: LATE NIGHT CALLER and A FISH CALLED PYTHAGORAS. There will more footage of the night released over the next few weeks and this film even includes a specially recorded yeti dance! Cameraman for the evening was Dominic McCauley and he also appears during the links. Mr Yeti recorded a few bits too and edited it all together. Music is by Luca. This film and its contents are Copyright Paul Chandler/John Smallshaw, 2012.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/Os6Sqv5_s50

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/42603730

The linking pieces in this video were actually filmed back in late February when I thought I was going to be doing the ROLLERCOASTER show back in March - and the links were filmed quite near to my home in Weybridge. Luckily there was only one small comment about the original date of the show, so I was able to use everything else. As I've mentioned before I'll now be moving onto the second and final part of my German trip, before editing a third and final live video from ROLLERCOASTER... Any footage left over will pop up in any videos that I film over the next few months.
Next week I'll hopefully be posting another video and taking a look at how the online videos are looking - we're getting up towards 7000 hits on Youtube, so I'm kind of hoping that we may have reached 10,000 by Christmas. We're also drawing closer to my next Poetry Cafe show, so they'll be more live footage. I'm lining up a completely different set - selected from poems that were first posted here on this very blog to celebrate the 10th anniversary.

To finish with I'm posting something from the next book - it's another rather gory short story called CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS... Enjoy!!

That's it for now - more next week,

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS


Zak regarded the contents of the skip with a frown; he was the caretaker of a big block of expensive flats at The Barbican, London and it was part of his job to keep an eye on what was going on with the salvage for the building.

Sometimes he’d uncover some quite choice pickings amongst the waste – the people who lived in the block were rich and often disposed of perfectly edible food on the day it was “technically” meant to expire. It wasn’t unheard of for Zak to end up dining on caviar or the remains of a joint of beef, if he kept his eyes open.

He was used to seeing all manner of things; false teeth, hearing aids, oddly shaped vegetables; not to mention embarrassing school photos and private letters.

…And then, sometimes, there was worse – much, much worse…

As on this particular day…

Generally Zak tried not to mind as long as protocol was observed; but today someone was really taking the biscuit…

Zak stared disapprovingly into the black sack that slumped before him. It was full of miscellaneous body parts; legs – severed arms – a couple of heads and all sorts of other discarded organs. It was Mr Sylvester again, their resident serial killer.

“This shouldn’t have happened…” Zak grumbled, not relishing having to go speak to the man again; for Mr Sylvester was an Arsenal supporter and Zak followed Spurs. “That man never listens. He’s had enough warnings! This is his last chance!” he muttered furiously. “Why doesn’t he listen? Really, it’s not difficult… Body parts don’t go in the skip! Body parts go with food scraps in recycling…”


CLEANING UP AFTERWARDS is from the Paul Chandler's next book, ARE WE THERE, YETI? which is due out in the Summer from www.lulu.com. All content of this post is Copyright, Paul Chandler 2012

WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN SHY YETI LAND!?! :)

Hello!

Well, I did promise a review of all my writing during 2010 and I do still intend to complete that post; but it's going to take longer than expected. I thought instead that I'd like to update you with some other news about stuff that is yet to happen.

Mainly as follows:

1) NEW POETRY VIDEOS

There are now 3 videos from my December 2010 trip to L.A. They are on both Youtube and Vimeo at the following links:

Part 1 is called: LA-LA-LAND...  and can be watched at either: www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0I_x9Xy6tI or www.vimeo.com/18133998

Part 2 is called: VEGAS-VA-VA-VOOM...   and can be watched at either: www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF4OlsOeqTY or www.vimeo.com/18238790

Part 3 is called: HOLLYWEIRDNESS and can be watched at either: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYYzcBIYS34 or www.vimeo.com/18970584

I'm undecided as to the title of the 4th part and it isn't ready for viewing yet, anyway, but I'm currently editing this video, which is due sometime in February.

I have also completed filming the next video after that which is provisionally entitled: A YETI IN WINTER and was filmed in the UK between late December 2010 and mid January 2011. There is also an additional episode of SHY YETI TALKS concerning my collection THIRD TIME LUCKY that I'd like to put out before Easter and the legendary lost SHY YETI VS AUTUMN two-part episode which I'd like to return to before the summer; by which time there will most likely be new live material. I also intend to film another SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode in a mainland European city during late April 2011.

2) YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS

I am in the final stage of proofing this book. All the poems and most of the behind the scenes stuff is ready to go. I'm just taking extra care to get the short stories proofed properly. You can see the cover and hear some of the poems from it in the new SHY YETI ON LOCATION videos. It is provisionally due out on Friday 1st April - with a book launch/gig party booked at The Poetry Café for Saturday 2nd April. More to follow on this...

3) NEW GIGS

I am hoping to go to open-mike night tomorrow for the first time in a while. More on that if and when it goes ahead. As mentioned I am planning a book launch/gig on Saturday 2nd April 2011. I am also working with Julie Howell PR to put on a show at The Poetry Café with a number of other creative types on Thursday 16th June 2011 - but once again; more on that and how to get hold of tickets nearer the time.

4) 100 WORD STORIES AND VAMPIRE COW POEMS

Things are going well with the writing of THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE AND OTHER DAFTNESSES - but this project now looks like it is going to include quite a lot of prose as well as well over 30 new poems. As of January 2011 I have been writing 100 word stories; this came about because I discovered some old ones that I had written during late 1994 and was quite pleased that they still held up so well. Last week I decided to write some more and have written getting on for 20 new 100 word stories which seem to have received some good feedback on Facebook and which I think will work well at gigs and in future Shy Yeti videos. In fact I have recorded 4 of them for SHY YETI IN WINTER… I include one of them below - it's called GRANDPA'S WIG and was only written at the weekend. I hope you'll like it.

5) OTHER PROJECTS

On top of all this I am also working on proofing GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM - with my mum returning to proofreading with this particular book after a break of around 5 years. I am also typing some of the short Mouse stories that I wrote back in 2007 and 2008 for another book of short stories. In addition to this I am working on expanded 10th anniversary editions of both JUNK/FOOD and ROLLERCOASTER my first poetry collections from late 2001 and early 2002.

More news on various projects - including open-mike night if it happens, soon.

Thank you for reading!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx


GRANDPA’S WIG


Tommy was sure his Mum was lying...

“Grandpa wears a wig!” she’d whispered in confidence.

Tommy wasn’t convinced.

Once when Grandpa was sleeping he’d sneaked a quick look himself and sure enough when he tugged at it Grandpa’s luxuriant hair flew off without resistance.

Much to Tommy’s surprise, on Grandpa’s shiny bald head there sat a grumpy-looking rabbit with long white ears. “Some of us are trying to sleep!” it snapped.

Tommy dropped the wig and ran...

Eventually he overcame the shock; but after that every time he saw Grandpa - Tommy always took a carrot with him; just in case...

GRANDPA'S WIG was written on Saturday 22nd January 2011 and is Copyright Paul Chandler 2011

SUTTON PARK AND A NEW POEM FROM DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS?

Hi,

First off  I'm going to briefly mention my spoof B-movie series, SUTTON PARK SW1 - simply because I showcase my SOUPCON OF SHY YETI book as part of the plot. This hasn't been the first mention of my poetry in the show since it came back; as it is now part of the history of the character that I play; which is a fictional version of myself. Part 5 has my latest book showing up and causing a time anomoly!! It's true... I can't really explain it any more than that because it is simply extremely daft. The poetry spoof-sci-fi action continues into Part 6, due to be posted somewhen in April.

Here is the link to Part 5 where the book shows up for the first time:

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0NJ9l1O_oA

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/10551587

As promised I will also be posting up a few new poems (approx one a week) from the new DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS collection, which is due out in early May. There will also be a new poetry video during April to highlight the arrival of the new book, which is currently in the final stages of proofreading.

This week's poem is called YOU COULD BE MY PIN-UP, which takes the idea of being a pin-up to the most absurd levels...

I hope you like it - they'll be more soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

YOU COULD BE MY PIN-UP…


Now, you could be my pin-up…
If you’re looking for some action!
You’ve a face for bedroom walls –
And there’s an obvious attraction…
You shouldn’t be at all surprised –
If you soon break a million hearts!
Or become the centre of attention –
For horrid hate-mail or for darts!
Because you can’t predict responses –
Be they fuelled by love or hate…
Yours may be a face they puke at –
You may be their one dream date!
So, if you’d like to be my pin-up…
Take your place upon my wall!
I’d be honoured now to host you –
It is my pleasure; not at all!!


Oh, you could be my pin-up…
If you’re looking for a job!
Pin yourself upon my wall –
But you will have to shut your gob!
You will have to keep it buttoned –
Gurn inanely nine to five!
If your adhesive loses stick –
Then you may have to take a dive!
Also, stuck up by the window –
You must be a little crafty!
Wear some insulated pants –
In case it gets a little draughty!
You can be my lucky charm!
You can be next week’s big face!
Just be my pin-up of the moment –
Before you vanish without trace!


So, you could be my pin-up –
If you’re looking for some fun…
Upon the wall you may diminish –
Or soon be faded by the sun…
Over time you may grow tatty –
Or be tarnished by a tear…
May become a fashion victim –
With your awful noughties hair!
It’s just something you must live with –
Or it could be your sad undoing!
Just accept that you’ll be patched up –
Or may need a spot of gluing!
Yes, that’s the sad fate of the pin-up…
Don’t it feel like time just flew!
Soon you’ll feel like you’re forgotten –
To be replaced by someone new!


Hey! You could be my pin-up –
If you’re looking for some work…
You can sit upon my desk –
Just simply grinning like a berk!
Yes, still there upon my calendar –
With your cheeky little smile…
Simply staring at me working –
Not ever resting for a while…
You can weigh down all my clutter –
You can be my sticky tape!
You can be my paper clip –
Or wear an outfit made of crepe!
You’ll still be my favourite person –
Even when you’re long since gone…
You’ll still be my special pin-up!
You’ll always be my number one…

YOU CAN BE MY PIN-UP is Copyright Paul Chandler 2010.

SOME MORE VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE AND VIMEO!!!

I thought I should probably announce the posting of my second SHY YETI ON LOCATION show - this one filmed in a secret location in London.

SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION

This episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION is filmed from not one, but two secret locations - and one of those is full of snow!!! This time Mr Yeti reads three poems: WE'RE GOING TO CLONE YOU, I LOVE YOU LESS and DON'T SNOG BEES from his almost finished new book - DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? There is also a couple of verses of a poem-in-progress and of course - more crazy yeti dancing! :) The second video link is to a clip featuring out-takes from the first show...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWanDuIRPzY
http://www.vimeo.com/8650570

OUT-TAKES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxkV9Gu1ymI

Out-takes on VIMEO to follow mid-week as I have hit my upload limit for the week.


VIDEO CHART: as of 17.30 on 11/01/2010...

As I haven't updated this list for a while I thought I'd just do a small roll-call of which of my online videos (other than BLOGTV ones) have been getting the most viewers. Please note - all 2010 videos have been posted on both Youtube and Vimeo, all previous videos posted just on Vimeo.

1st BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR = 125 views
2nd UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE = 121 views
3rd SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET = 85 views
4th YETI SPAGHETTI = 73 views
5th I NEVER GET INVITED... = 63 views
6th LITTLE PIG = 50 views
7th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE = 49 views
8th YETI SPAGHETTI (OUT-TAKES)= 48 views
9th MY MOMENT IS NOW = 46 views
=10th SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET (OUT-TAKES)= 44 views
=10th PICCADILLY CIRCUS = 44 views
12th THEY WARNED ME = 38 views
13th THINGS AIN'T... = 25 views
14th MY DOG IN A DRESS = 20 views
=15th THE TRUE LIGHT = 17 views
=15th A VOICE IN MY HEAD = 17 views
=15th SHY YETI LIVE = 17 views
18th CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND = 16 views
=19th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION = 14 views
=19th RECKLESSLY = 14 views
=19th GOOD HUG = 14 views
22nd DAREDEVIL = 13 views
23rd THE SORRY TALE... = 12 views
24th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION (OUT-TAKES)= 11 views

I know I promised a new poem this post - but as you have a whole new video to watch - which contains 3 and a half new poems I think that's quite enough for one post!

More soon - take care and get watching them there videos - yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PAUL RECORDS NEW POEMS FOR WWW.VIMEO.COM/SHYYETI SITE

Hi,

I've recorded 6 of the new poems from the SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION book and posted them on my new VIMEO profile.

The poems I have read are YETI SPAGHETTI, YOU CRAMP MY STYLE, THE BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR..., MY MOMENT IS NOW!!!, LITTLE PIG and THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE.

Here are some stills from the videos; the full videos can be viewed on www.vimeo.com/shyyeti










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: YETI SPAGHETTI










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: YOU CRAMP MY STYLE!!










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: THE BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR...










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: MY MOMENT IS NOW!!!










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: LITTLE PIG










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE

Not only can you watch the videos on www.vimeo.com/shyyeti - but I have posted one of them (LITTLE PIG) at the end of this post.

Thanks to Owen for all his help with the videos!!

I hope you enjoy them!!!

Yeti hugs,

Paul x

PS I am also due to be reading some of the new poems on local hospital radio next wednesday - so more about that if and when it happens, nearer the time.