A YETI WAY OF THINKING... THE PROSE!Hello beasties!
This time, a week before I release A YETI WAY OF THINKING, I'm going to tell you some more about the new collection... On this occasion we'll be focusing on the prose pieces in the book.
A YETI WAY OF THINKING contains over 80 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between Autumn 2012 and Summer 2014. They include: ARE THEY AWARE I’M A WEREWOLF?, GIN GOBLINS, INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS, I USED TO BE A TEN, MYSTERY HEN, ONION MAN, PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS, TWO VAMPIRE HUNTING YETI, YOU’LL DO and many more…
ALL A BIT NUTS...
There are weird people all around us - but sometimes those weird people are also ourselves and we never even noticed!
ALMOST GONE...
Time is passing and warmth is fleeting... Love is fading... Life is gone...
AN APE EXCHANGE...
This piece was inspired by a visit to Antwerp Zoo, where the toddlers were noisier and far more annoying than the monkeys in their cages.
BADGER...
Written for somebody I know who I nick-named "Badger"; this was written during a sad time when I thought we would no longer be seeing one another... Happily that was not to be the case - far from it!
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE...
Beauty and the preservation of it is a tricky subject - but there are many ways to do so; not all of them are to be recommended.
CHECK UP, CHECK OUT...
A visit to the surgery takes an unexpected turn...
CREATIVELY PROMISCUOUS...
This is not a tempestuous love story - but it does involve jealousies and intrigue just like one...
A CULT FOLLOWING...
This piece considers the subject of "cult followings" in my typically bizarre manner.
EIGHT SUPER LITTLE PILLS...
Every morning the character in this piece takes eight little pills which have a very peculiar effect on him! This is his story...
THE FLIRT...
The whole world loves a flirt - except when they turn out to be a little disturbing like the one in this piece...
GAME PLAN...
The story of an entertainer with a "game plan", who despite his past always seems to keep bouncing back!
A HARMLESS PRANK...
This is a story about a childish game that takes a rather curious turn...
HIS CHRISTMAS CARDS...
This piece tells the tale of a man who takes the number of Christmas cards that he receives each year extremely seriously.
THE ICE IN MY GLASS...
Ice is a very useful commodity - it's not just there to refresh your drink...
AN IDEAL WORLD...
People have different dreams - and some people's dreams are another person's nightmare...
IF ONLY...
Infatuation is a very powerful emotion - but there are many ways to deal with one's obsession...
INFORMATION IS A WONDERFUL THING...
It's amazing what a lot you can achieve with just a little information - as this story clearly demonstrates.
IN MEMORY OF...
The transcript of a memorial to a very important man - delivered to the mourners by another very important man...
IT’S NOT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE...
Sometimes holding on to the people that you love can back-fire on you - especially when you try to scare them into staying in one place...
JUST ONE DAY (BEING YOU)...
What would it be like to be another person for just one day... Read this and maybe you will find out...
KOFFIE HUIS DE HOEK...
This story is about somebody spending their last hours of freedom at their favourite café - a café of the same name exists in Amsterdam and is where the piece was written back in late June 2014.
MAKE ALL APPLAUSE COUNT...
This piece was inspired by me considering how the audience's applause is also preserved for posterity on the live recordings of famous live albums or performances.
MAN, MANHANDLED...
This piece is a prose retelling of a poem that I wrote many years ago... It is about a rock star whose groupies have, quite literally, worn him down.
THE MORNING AFTER HALLOWEEN...
Halloween is often a day to remember - but it is the morning after Halloween that is really a time to be looking out for bizarre goings-on.
THE ONE...
Sometimes when you meet the person who is "The One" you have to go to all sorts of crazy lengths to make sure that you don't lose them... It is times such as these that a cellar can come in very handy!
Tonight a man retires from his one true passion - but his wife is sceptical that he can really do so...
A PERFECT CASE FOR CHARITY...
Being rich does not always make one generous... This one really isn't that easy to explain without giving too much away!
POLLEN SEASON...
Nobody likes to fall victim to a high pollen count - but some problems are bigger than others...
RUNNING ON EMPTY...
Thoughts on my own sudden visit to hospital during June 2013; written whilst I was there.
A SPIDER IN THE BATH...
This is the strange tale of a man who mistakes a piece of belly button fluff for a spider... But he is wrong... Things are never quite what they first appear to be!
Some birds can be really, really stupid - there's no denying it. I came up with this one whilst I was wondering around Madrid Zoo in June 2014. It was one of the last pieces written for this collection.
Tessa is a cat owner - but in her head she invents individual personalities for her beloved pets; but there may well be more to all this than Tessa ever imagined...
TEN INCHES...
This piece is only as dirty as your mind... So in my mind this piece is absolutely filthy... Just saying.
TINSEL...
This piece was written for my blog for Christmas 2013; it's a creepy one and may make you decide never to decorate your house at this time of year ever again!
Next week, on Monday 14th March 2016, the big day will have arrived and A YETI WAY OF THINKING will finally be released; my first new collection since NOT AS SHY AS I WAS in November 2013, some two and a half years ago.
More soon!
Yeti hugs,
Paul xx
