A YETI WAY OF THINKING... THE POEMS!Hello beasties!
This week, a week or two in advance of releasing the new book I'm going to tell you a little more about it! This post we'll be focusing on the poems in this collection. There are quite a few silly ones - but I'm pretty sure that this won't be too much of a surprise to anyone!
A YETI WAY OF THINKING contains over 80 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between Autumn 2012 and Summer 2014. They include: ARE THEY AWARE I’M A WEREWOLF?, GIN GOBLINS, INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS, I USED TO BE A TEN, MYSTERY HEN, ONION MAN, PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS, TWO VAMPIRE HUNTING YETI, YOU’LL DO and many more…
THE ANSWER’S NO...
Some people just won't take no for an answer - this poem tries to re-iterate what needs to be said!
ARE THEY AWARE I’M A WEREWOLF?
One of my dafter poems about life as a werewolf...
AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG...
This one is even dafter still - about a pig called Augustus. It was inspired by some graffiti that I saw on a wall in Venice.
THE BALLAD OF BURT AND GRIS...
This poem was inspired by the relationship between a dog and a guinea-pig who I met during a visit to Portland, Oregon in the Summer of 2013.
BORN WITHOUT A FUNNY BONE...
This is poem was very nearly the "title track" of this collection and is about people who seem to have no sense of humour.
CEDRIC THE CEREAL KILLER...
This is about a completely different type of killer - not a serial killer but a... yeah... okay. I'll fetch my coat!
DO YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH ME?
It's a love-song... Of sorts... So do you?
THE DREADED LURGY...
The dreaded lurgy isn't something that you want to be getting too close to...
ENOUGH OF YOUR SAUCE...
Cheekiness is not always a desirable trait... although over time it may grow on one!!
FRIDAY THE 13TH (MY FAVOURITE DAY)...
Friday The Thirteenth is a day that most people like to avoid - but the narrator of this piece seems to like that day very much.
GERIATRIC MERMAID...
What becomes of a mermaid when she's no longer a spring chicken and once her looks are fading?
GIN GOBLINS...
This one is about goblins... who drink gin. Simple, aye?
THE GORGEOUS DEAD...
A play on the phrase "the glorious dead", an extremely silly piece about the dead rising, but still wanting to look nice! Not the only zombie-related piece in this collection either!
GRANNY ATE MY AFTER-BIRTH...
This is the other poem that nearly ended up as the "title piece" of this collection - it was perhaps a little gross to ever be that; but for a while it was very close! The title says all you really need to know about the subject...
HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART...
A slightly sinister and macabre verse about time spent with a loved one among the gravestones.
A HAPPY YETI HOWL...
Every Shy Yeti poetry collection needs a few ditties name-dropping the yeti - and this is one of those; it trumpets the magic properties of the yeti's own very individual howl!
AN IDIOT IN LOVE...
This one is all about idiots... in love... There are a fair few of them out there, you know!
INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS...
This one would make a good title for my autobiography! Surprise! Surprise! It's another nonsense piece...
IN PLACE OF A HEART...
This is a slightly surreal piece about feeling numb when all around you appear to be deeply in love.
IT ONLY TAKES A MOUSE TO SNEEZE...
This one came from a conversation that I was having with a colleague... I think we were talking about the trains and I said "It only takes a mouse to sneeze and they break down..." Then I thought... "Oooh! That would make a good title for a poem..." and I began working on one! It's pretty silly!
This one's all about how your desirability rating may well begin to drop as one gets older; as in "I used to be a ten out of ten, but now I rate about a five..." Silly, sarcastic and slightly cruel.
THE LOCH NESS HAMSTER...
This one came about after I'd been on a boat on Loch Ness and was making some short "Vine" videos; the hamster idea came from that and from playing about with words.
A verse about those who are loved for a version of themselves that is all merely a pretence...
MY BACON-FLAVOURED BABY...
Just so you know - I'm not saying that babies taste like bacon... They might do, but I've never tried one. It's probably best not to... That doesn't stop me writing a rather daft poem on the subject though.
This piece is about the day after New Year's Eve and also about the end of a relationship...
MYSTERY HEN...
This piece was inspired by a metal hen ornament that I met when I was in holiday in the Lake District back in 2013 - when the holiday came to an end I felt I really ought to write a poem about him!
ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH LOVE...
This is one of those poems where the title came first and then I wrote what was inspired by it...
ONION MAN...
Onion Man features on the back cover of the book and was the one character from this collection that I had an illustration of - so he also appears on a number of t-shirts too. The actual theme of the poem? It's about a man who has many layers... like an onion. Is it symbolic? If you want it to be... I'd rather imagine a man with a big onion for a head; isn't that far more creepy and fun?
One of my favourite pieces from this collection... It is one of the most performed in this book and also one that I made a video to accompany it.
SANDY FROM THE FUTURE...
This is one that I intend to post when the book is published; it was inspired by mishearing a conversation whilst in Portland, Oregon back in the summer of 2013. It is about a character called Sandy who appears to be a time-traveller and how she interacts with the narrator of the piece.
SASSY MISS SASQUATCH...
One of my many yeti-based poems - although this one is about the variety of yeti known as a Sasquatch. I'm not sure how different they actually are, but there you go...
THE SAVAGES OF WESTMINSTER...
Who could I be referring to? There are just so many savages in the halls of Westminster - civil servants and politicians alike... What on earth are the poor electorate to make of it all!?
SCABBY DONKEY...
I heard the phrase "I could eat a scabby donkey between two mattresses, I'm so hungry..." on an episode of Coronation Street and decided that I needed to write something silly using it.
THE SEX LIVES OF (EVIL) WITCHES...
The title of this one says quite enough about this piece - as you can imagine, it's not entirely serious!
SHORT-SLEEVED BEE SUIT...
This was inspired by a bizarre conversation with a young fellow named Nathan... Yes, it's another daft one!
SOMETIMES A HUG IS ENOUGH...
This is another piece where the title says it all, really... Yay for hugs! It's one that I posted on the blog a couple of weeks back.
SPACE-CAKES...
This one was written in Amsterdam, although rather than being about illegal substances it's more a play on the phrase, literally cakes from space - perhaps made from an asteroid.
SUICIDAL PIGEON...
An ode to a suicidal looking pigeon as seen on a railway line near Watford in the summer of 2013!
TWO VAMPIRE HUNTING YETI...
This one was inspired by exploring Bushy Park in the Winter of 2012 - I also recorded a video for this one. Some of the work for it was done during one of my many trips to Venice.
UNTIL THE COWS ALL COME HOME...
A piece that encourages the reader to do as they please until the cows return - for once they are back you may not get such freedoms!
WE’RE ALL STARS TODAY...
This one came from a suggestion that I saw on Twitter for World Poetry Day in October 2012 (or some such) encouraging poets to write a piece with the word "stars" as a starting point. Of course - when I think of stars I think of how it is a word used to describe famous people. It took me almost a year to write as I kept coming back to it to write a line here or there and so I never submitted it officially, deciding to keep it for this collection instead. It was eventually performed at my 40th birthday show in November 2013.
WHEN THE SINGER LOST HER SONG...
A poem about a singer who loses, not only, her voice - but actually the song itself which she herself usually sings...
A YETI WAY OF THINKING...
This is the poem after which this collection is named - one of three possible titles that I considered. It's another yeti-themed piece too, of course!
YOU’LL DO...
YOU’LL DO...
Another favourite of mine from this new volume. It received its live debut as The Poetry Café during my 40th birthday show to celebrate the publication of NOT AS SHY AS I WAS in November 2013.
YOU’RE DEAD TO ME...
Another piece that takes a familiar phrase and plays around with it...
YOUR NIGHTMARES...
This piece is all about the man and woman "of your nightmares..." This poem was first performed at The Poetry Café in April 2013.
ZOMBIE SQUIRRELS IN MY GARDEN...
The first of two zombie-themed poems to complete the collection; there can't be many verses out there that concern zombie squirrels! Shakespeare missed a trick!
ZOMBIE TAXI-DRIVER...
This one is about how a zombie taxi driver who will not eat the brains of the locals - but prefers to make an honest living for himself!
Next week, with only a week to go before the new book is released, we'll be looking at the prose pieces in the new collection.
More soon!
Yeti hugs,
Paul xx
This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. A YETI WAY OF THINKING is released on Monday 14th March 2016.
