Hello,
This is a new poem which will appear next year in my new book: DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS... It's hot off the press and we really did have a visit from a certain PM at the place where I work, today. Did I really make him do the hoovering - YES - but do you think he'll ever admit to it? No... Politicians! They're all the same! Don't worry Gordy, we love you really... Yeah, right.
I'm off to my book launch later - and then off to Krakow - so more next once I return; one year older!!
Yeti hugs,
Paul xx
THE DAY THE PRIME MINISTER CAME TO TEA…
The day the Prime Minister came to tea…
Oh, what a day so very thrilling…
I really put him on the spot -
I really gave him quite a grilling!
I showed where the hoover was -
He was so full of pomp and bluster…
But I really put him in his place -
And yes, I handed him a duster…
I had him drive me down to ASDA -
I had him do my weekly shop!
I could see him simply sulking -
But I wouldn't put up with his strop!
I sent him to the naughty corner -
I made him wear the dunces cap!
I made him say his twelve times table -
I wouldn't let him take a nap!
For there was far too much to do…
I had him putting up a shelf…
I had him cleaning out the shed…
I had him sharing out his wealth!
Yes, when the PM came to tea…
It was my gain - it was his loss!
I think he really got the message!
I think he saw that I was boss…
The day the Prime Minister came to tea…
I looked him full on in the eyes…
I think he saw who was in charge -
I had him mucking out the sties!
I had him on his hands and knees -
I had him picking up the litter…
Then I went out to have some fun -
I used him as a baby sitter…
It really made me feel much better -
For all the taxes that we pay…
He was good value for the money -
Sweeping up without delay…
But alas he made a little mess...
When I found out, yes I complained!
He may be leader of our country -
But, as yet, not toilet trained…
I ensured he knew for certain -
What was up, yeah - what was wrong!
They never learn unless you teach 'em -
You must be tough - you must be strong!
Yes, when the PM came to tea -
I really was a gracious host…
I had him scrubbing out the bath -
I had him making me some toast…
The day the Prime Minister came to tea…
I made him see the error of his ways…
I think we nearly shared a moment -
I'm sure I saw his longing gaze…
But I had to tell him to back off!
I had to tell him, sadly, no…
I'd never date down to his level -
I'm sure he found it quite a blow!
But he was there to do a job…
I had him cleaning out the pool!
I had him polishing my silver!
I had him wipe away my drool!
I had him wallpaper my boudoir!
I had him massaging my cat!
I could see he wasn't happy -
But I really have no truck with that!
He needs to learn a life of real work!
Not just the nice stuff he can choose!
I'll get him licking round the rim, next…
Scraping dog poo off my shoes!
The day the PM came to tea…
I did not charge him - not a shilling!
No, I should have really made him pay!
Yeah, I could have really made a killing!