Hello beasties!
This week we'll be briefly covering our latest SHY LIFE PODCAST episode and then we have a new flash prose piece which was partly inspired by a chat that I had whilst recording an edition of the show... More of that at the end! We also have links to some recent postings of original 1995 episodes of SUTTON PARK on Youtube...
But first up - our 50TH SHY LIFE PODCAST episode!!
But first up - our 50TH SHY LIFE PODCAST episode!!
THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 50: COMEDY OF ERRS
Here we are for episode FIFTY - in which Mr Yeti is reunited with The Smellcast team: Toppie Smellie and the rest of his gang. Paul and Toppie discuss old sitcoms, The Shy Life Podcast regulars chat with the Pickle Hollow team and all manner of hilarity ensues! Our next episode, number 51 - sees Mr Yeti catching up with a lady who most folk wouldn't say Boo to! It'll be out soon!! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017. Episode 50 was recorded between the 10th December 2016 and the 20th January 2017. This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud.
50: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-50-comedy-of-errs
With the release of episode 50, January has seen six new podcast episodes and I'm currently working on the first episode for February, which hops us back to early December for a chat with Brenda Boo from DRIVE TIME TONOPAH and the LOTSL PODCAST... I'm quite excited by the line up of episodes for this month - which also includes our Valentine's episode, which will be episode 52... I'm not going to make any definite promises of the order of the episodes after that - but there will definitely be another live episode coming up on the third Sunday of the month, 19th February 2017.
Our prose piece this time is called CHAINED TO THE PAST... I wouldn't say that we were chained to it exactly - but as I mentioned earlier I have been posting more Sutton Park episodes on Youtube - this time from December 1995. Here are the links...
1150: https://youtu.be/cHfXVKTq6DE
1151: https://youtu.be/W_AirPsQOLY
1152: https://youtu.be/FPSxQs-g4JA
...And here are some stills from those episodes - featuring regulars Andrew T, Nick G, Elaine and Keith M (before they were married!) and Andy C... Oh, and me, of course!
Next time, there will be more podcast things and either new prose or something about the new book, which is due any day now...
Anyway, that's all for now...
Take care - more soon,
Yeti hugs,
Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx
P.S. I came up with the idea for this piece whilst talking with DJ Starsage and Duchess Sue for a SHY LIFE PODCAST episode in late November 2016 - but I didn't decide to definitely write the story until I was editing this episode in mid-January 2017. I noted down the idea on Wednesday 18th January 2017 and began writing the piece the following day, tweaking it as I wrote and extending the initial sentences until it was finally completed and posted on Thursday 2nd February 2017.
CHAINED TO THE PAST...
It's never easy being a ghost...
But such situations can often depend on where it is you died...
Most end up either haunting the place where they became deceased -
Or the place that they most regularly frequented during a traumatic period of their life...
When it comes to where you're based it's a pretty one location existence...
If existing is even a term one should really use...
When you watch old movies they make it seem as if you can hop about the place...
That you can go about haunting whomever you choose...
But what would they know? If only it was that simple...
We'd all be sitting on sun loungers in the South of France, sipping cocktails...
Getting revenge on old foes rarely works out that simply -
Not unless they are living wherever it is that you met your death...
Then also consider that should you somehow help instigate their demise -
By creeping up behind them and whispering "Boo..." - by scaring them...
Then you will probably find yourself sharing a bathroom -
With the newly minted resentful spook that you helped to kill...
It a mine-field... There are more problems than solutions...
Believe me "life after death" is no fun. I'm sorry, but it's often pretty bleak.
Sure, if friends and relatives know where you are then they can always visit;
Most never bother, of course - it's too "difficult" for them.
Let me just say, it's not exactly a whole bundle of fun for us, either...
The only visitor I've had in the last few years -
Was an eccentric exorcist from Hemel Hempstead...
Thankfully we all showed him the door before he showed us his exocising talents...
"Wouldn't you like to be exorcised? Wouldn't it give you closure?"
I hear some of you asking... How would you like it?
Let me tell you - more often than not it doesn't work the way it's supposed to...
Let's just say you don't end up anywhere that you'd choose to spend eternity...
I would rather remain here where I am, thank you...
It's not ideal - but it can have it's perks if you have the right attitude...
Here we are - ghosts in a Belgravian mansion house where we were all once in service -
We all deal with it differently - some of us deal with it better than others too...
I must say it annoys the hell out of me when I see how some of them act...
I spent the best years of my life running around this house -
Making sure that the master and mistress got everything that they wanted...
I wore myself down and died before I had time to retire...
Well, now I'm dead. Now I'm retired.
Sure, I'm haunting this house, but don't expect me just to pick up where I left off...
No - I will not clean your shoes, pour you a Scotch or call you daddy...
It's not going to happen any more...
As I have said, I have one or two friends who are in a similar situation to myself -
Whose former bosses thought that using the resident ghosts was a way to cut costs...
How cheap can some people be? None of us are here now to work...
Am I the only one to think this way? Sometimes I think I must be!
Many of my dead peers seem to simply fall back in line... But why?
I watch my colleagues and I wonder why they feel they need to slip back into their old roles...
Old Mrs Grace still likes to help out in the kitchen...
Sarah the maid continues to help out in the library...
Simon the butler was last seen in Lord Henry's room late at night...
Mary the housekeeper has been seen tutting and overseeing the living cleaners -
It seemed to work - they're certainly sweeping faster these days...
But that's not the point...
Sit down - chill out - have that cocktail...
Why don't they listen? Why don't they take it easy? It's their loss...
I try to lead by example - but I seem to be the only one...
Let me make myself clear...
I accept that I am chained to the past - but I won't also be chained to the kitchen sink -
And any who do waste their death trying to help the living are foolish beyond compare...
It is no way to spend an after-life...
This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.
