HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

There are two new volumes of poetry available from this Spring.

The first is hot off the press and entitled MUGSHOTS!!

It's a collection of mainly quite stoopid verse, written between September and December 2004.

The first poem posted from the new book is I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES... a sort of Alan Bennett meets Pam Ayres style ditty which was one of the last pieces written for this collection, but is a good scene-setter for the rest of the volume.

MUGSHOTS is available at £5.00 + P&P - contact shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk for further details.

The second collection was originally available in a limited edition back in the Autumn.

LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED...

It's a slightly darker collection than usual - containing over 50 compositions and is also priced £5.

I hope you enjoy the new poem - more from MUGSHOTS will be posted later in the month.

Paul x

I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES…


I am never invited to orgies…
Don’t I quite look the type – am I mocked?
I have always quite fancied Wife Swapping…
Though my sinus are quite badly blocked!
I think maybe I come over too quiet…
And seems that no one expects it of me…
But I believe I’d enjoy a nice orgy…
Or to begin with – a cuddle for THREE!

I am never invited to orgies…
It would seem I’m not that sort of girl…
But the stories I’ve heard seem alluring…
And they leave my poor mind in a whirl!
I would like to succumb to a sauna…
Something crazy – mixed bathing – you know…
But I no longer wish just to imagine…
Grab my bus pass and off I shall go!

But, I’m never invited to orgies…
Left to cook, wash ‘n’ clean – back at home…
A loyal Mothers’ Union member!
I would relish the chance now to roam…
I would thrive on some nice slap and tickle…
I’d enjoy a quick roll in the hay…
I’d enjoy hanging out in a brothel…
To find out just how much punters might pay!

I am never invited to orgies…
Perhaps my poor fashion sense wrote me off…
Holey cardies – old slippers and pinneys!
Are maybe clothes at which Swingers might scoff!
I’m in danger of becoming quite frisky…
“Au naturel” in a wood, by a lake…
Yes, I’d dearly adore a quick fumble…
Knead the dough really hard when I bake…

Still, I’m never invited to orgies…
My poor husband he turns a blind eye…
So, what if the man is a Bishop!
At least the old devil could TRY!
I am frustrated and sexually challenged…
I am quite sadly lacking a squeeze!
So, I’ve put in my letter to Santa…
Will you fix me an orgy soon, please?

No, I’m never invited to orgies…
One day soon I will spread out my wings!
One day soon be more naughty than nice, see…
And do some quite inappropriate things!
So, I’ve been down Anne Summers preparing…
I will send out the invites today…
Yes, I will throw soon – my very own orgy -
…AND YOU BET I SHALL CAUSE AN AFFRAY!!!