Hi!
 
It's nearly time for a new book of poems... The new collection is provisionally entitled MUGSHOTS - more about that very soon... But for now - here is one of the new ones! :-)
 
Here's hoping that you enjoy it!
 
Paul x
 
 
IF I WERE A MOO-COW…
(15/07/2004)
 
If I were a moo-cow…
I would not settle for my lot…
Of grass and milk and mating…
And then chances are – of getting shot…
I don’t want to end my days in burgers…
Served up with Shakes and fries…
All mushed up with other bovines –
They use it all – even the eyes!
 
If I were a moo-cow…
Then I’d have a better plan…
No more flies or crappy mud-packs –
I am simply NOT a fan!
I’d set off and get my hair done –
Buy a trendy pair of shoes…
I have a fuller figure but…
With Sarong’s you cannot lose…
 
If I were a moo-cow…
I would thrive in my new life…
I might even go speed-dating…
Though I’m no Bull’s little wife…
I’d fancy playing hard to get, see…
Sleep around – quite loose of hoof…
In the evening wine and dine them…
In the morning – quite aloof…
 
Yes – if I were a moo-cow…
I’d escape the bonds that tie…
I’d go and see a movie…
Or sit back and watch the sky…
And plot my next adventure…
Perhaps I’d make a free-fall glide…
Would I fancy bungee jumping?
It’s never easy to decide…
 
Yeah - if I were a moo-cow…
I’d not settle for just grass…
Front of queue at Wimbledon…
I’d let no bugger pass…
My face in all the papers…
And in the WANTED files…
Explicit teat shots at the Ivy –
After nights out on the tiles!
 
But alas, no more a moo-cow…
Alas, can have no fun…
I’ve left it much too late…
Now I’m a sausage in a bun…
Spent too long daydreaming…
Of what I’d like to do…
So, now alas, ex-moo-cow…
Simply here – for you to chew…
 
Copyright Paul Chandler 2004.