Showing posts with label LOS ANGELES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LOS ANGELES. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


SHY YETI U.S.A. RETURNS

Hello folks!,

Well, this week I'm very pleased to announce that SHY YETI U.S.A. is back for its final 3 episodes... Those of you who have watched the earlier episodes will know that the first five episodes were filmed back in Summer 2011 and so far were posted in two batches: parts 1-3 during October 2011 and parts 4-5 back in December. Well, the final three episodes are due over the next months or so and were filmed during my second trip to the States back in November 2011.

The episodes are available at the following links:

Youtube: http://youtu.be/erTy_GoJMR8

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/35557847

Here's a little more information on the latest episode to be posted...

YETI HUNT U.S.A. returns for its final 3 episodes... In Part 6: LIVE AND LET SAN DIEGO the boys head to the city of San Diego to continue their hunt for Shy Yeti's lost yeti relative. Finally it looks as if they're getting closer and have made contact! Before they meet the mysteriously named "Yeti X" much silliness ensues - not to mention 2 poems from the 10th anniversary edition of Pau's first collection: JUNK/FOOD. The pieces are entitled I AM THE GERMS and DOLPHINS CAN BE SOCIABLE. Oh... And there is also a Yeti Dance! This episode was filmed in mid-November 2011 and also stars Dominic McCauley and includes music by Luca. The copyright of this film and the poems included in it belongs to Paul Chandler, 2012.

So - having watched Part 6, what of the final two episodes? What do we have in store?

Well, I don't want to say TOO much; but what I will say is that Part 7 pretty much resolves the big search for one of Shy Yeti's yeti relatives - whilst allowing you to sample a few more poetic delights down in San Diego. I've already begun work on Part 7 and hope that it'll be ready by the start of February. Part 8, meanwhile - is kind of my farewell to California in that I get to return to some of my favourite locations as seen in my three previous "Hollywood" epics: SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD, the four part SHY YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD; not to mention the earlier episodes of YETI HUNT that I filmed in Summer 2011. Both these episodes features poems and prose from my next collection ARE WE THERE, YETI!?; not to mention sketches and yeti dances. I'm hoping that Part 8 will be finished before the end of February - but we'll just have to see...

I can also exclusively reveal that there is one further episode filmed in Los Angeles during November 2011; a behind-the-scenes look at attempting to make a video for a first draft piece before I flew home - which also includes a trip to the Batcave from the 60s series of Batman. I'm going to hold this one back a bit and release this later in the year as I'm not quite ready to say my goodbyes to L.A. and the surrounding countryside!

Next time we'll be looking at a new compilation that I have just released for Spring 2012 called CACTUS HEART - an 80 page collection which collects together poems and prose with the theme of "lost love" from all the books that I've released since 2001. The week after that we'll be discussing my expected return to Radio Wey for a Valentine's Day show on Saturday 11th February!

Anyway - that's quite enough for now!

More next week!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

FUNERAL FOR A SHOE IS LAUNCHED - GIG THIS FRIDAY!

Hello!

Yes... I'm back safely from my L.A. trip... As you may or may not recall I did a post last week about what I got up to during that trip; although there was one last filming session before I flew home. As I didn't fly out until Saturday evening there was time for Dominic and I to pop to Griffith Park for one last trip and it turned out to be one of my favourite visits.


I had read on the internet that there was an area of Griffith Park where they had filmed the entrance to the bat cave for the 1960s version of TVs Batman; it had also been used for a number of other films and finding myself with a bit of time I decided that it would be the ideal location to head for. As it happened it was very close to the CAMP HOLLYWOOD car park where we'd walked back in the summer - on the day that I had taken photos of the cactus heart which inspired my poem of the same name. It wasn't hard to find the batcave - just taking the only other track in that area gently uphill overlooking a small park where I did a little yeti dance back in August and also took the much used photo of me camping it up in front of a sign that reads "CAUTION RATTLESNAKES!"... (This photo appears on the new cover for WOOED AWAKENINGS that appeared in last week's blog!)



Anyway - on the way up to the bat cave I finished reading a poem that I'd begun the afternoon before back in Topanga Canyon and I also decided to read a short story that I'd written just that morning which is entitled A YETI HISTORY LESSON OF HOLLYWOOD. The batcave location was so good and I got so much footage filmed, including out-takes, yeti dances and comments about the cave belonging to yeti that I decided that there would be enough footage to make a special episode separate from my YETI HUNT USA series. Knowing that I probably won't return to L.A. for a while I thought it might be nice to keep this episode until the Spring when I can realise it nearer the time that my ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! book is complete. There were quite a lot of mistakes during the reading of the story, as I was working from a hand-written first draft - although I think that managing to fluff lines up so much probably makes for a more amusing and watchable episode all in all. Anyway... So this episode won't appear for a while yet - but it's nice to think that they'll be a nice Hollywood episode for 2012 as ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! is such a U.S. based collection.



















Moving on I am very pleased to announce that FUNERAL FOR A SHOE is now available to buy from Lulu.com... Let me tell you some more and give you a few links just in case you'd like to purchase a copy!

FUNERAL FOR A SHOE is the latest collection from Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) and includes the poems LOVE-GO-ROUND, PSYCHOPATHS STILL HAVE FEELINGS, YOUR FINAL GIRL and the short stories DONE AND DUSTED, REST IN PEACE, PET and SUMMER SKIES. There are almost 100 pieces in this volume; a novella ELEGY AT THE FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and two playlets: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS and SCEPTIC.

Paperback edition. Price: £9.99, Pages: 352, Photos: Black and White, Published: November 2011, Includes especially commissioned illustrations by Pete Katsiaounis.

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/funeral-for-a-shoe/18669080

There is also an edition available in hardback which costs £16.99 and can be accessed at this link:

http://www.lulu.com/product/hardcover/funeral-for-a-shoe/18670400



















FUNERAL FOR A SHOE is made up of almost 100 pieces - poems, scripts, short stories - allsorts really! That said, this book is a lot more about prose - ranging from short stories on just one page to longer pieces; there are a good dozen or so poems, however - so never fear! The book also includes the usual behind the scenes information on each piece as well as links to films and goodness knows what else! There's even a diary taken from blog entries during the time covered by the writing of the collection. Anyway - back to the actual poetry/prose... Some of the titles you may be familiar with from my Youtube/Vimeo videos - such as THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS, DEATH OF A GIRL BAND, A PERFECT MATCH, LOVE-GO-ROUND, or "MOTHER, MEET PARIS..." - but most will be completely new to you. I won't list the titles again as I did so in a previous post, which you can check out at: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.com/2011_08_28_archive.html So there!! ;)




















Lastly, before I go I would just like to mention that my 10th anniversary JUNK/FOOD show takes place this Friday... (Very soon!) I have all my readings selected and prepared and am very excited to be able to confirm that the excellent John Smallshaw will be reading too on the night... Eagle-eyed readers may remember that John also joined me during my AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI AND OTHER ANIMALS show back in the Summer. Well, he's back and it sounds like he has a good deal of interesting new material to share with us!

If you weren't there in June at the show and haven't had a chance to watch the videos from the night on youtube or vimeo... (Quite frankly, why not!? Go do so now... They've been up since June, you lazy, lazy X-Factor time-wasting people! Ahem... Sorry, I had a moment there! Who said that!?!) Where was I!? Oh yes, if you weren't there at the show and you haven't seen the videos then you can read more about John on his website...

http://johnsmallshaw.com/

As mentioned before you can also watch him perform on two of my poetry videos from earlier in the year...

AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI AND OTHER ANIMALS

Youtube: http://youtu.be/elRJeAeKEA8
Vimeo: http://www.vimeo.com/25376522

There's also a video called ANOTHER EVENING WITH SHY YETI AND OTHER ANIMALS which John also appears in and which you can find on either of my profiles - but you'll come across that when you click on the previous link, no doubt... Oh... Here it is; go on... Don't say I'm not nice to you! ;)

Youtube:  http://youtu.be/j_P-VKNeUtA

Anyway - that's quite enough about the show, except to say that kick off is 7.30 at The Poetry Cafe on Friday 18th November!! Next week's post will be all about the evening, so they'll be a lot more about the evening then...



















There's lots more happening before the end of the year - I'll be writing about upcoming episodes of YETI HUNT USA, maybe posting one or two pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and I'll also be back on Radio Wey at the start of December!

So lots more to come in 2011!

Here's hoping to see some of you at the Poetry Cafe show on Friday! :)

Yeti hugs,

Paul x


All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2011. Thanks to Dominic McCauley for taking many of the photos during the trip.

Saturday, November 12, 2011



























HAVING A GLORIOUS TIME IN CALIFORNIA!

WISH YOU WERE HERE!


Hello folks,

I really don't intend this as a gloating exercise - it's really not! Partly I just want to be able to keep up with my weekly posting on the blog until the end of the year and also to update you on the trip and what I've got up to creatively. No photos to share with you yet - just a couple of redesigned covers for my WOOED AWAKENING collection. I'm not re-issuing it or anything - just updating the cover to be more in line with some of my other recent releases.

As I have already mentioned my intention is to continue filming YETI HUNT U.S.A. As you may recall the first five episodes were filmed in July and August - the first three of these are already up on Youtube and Vimeo, with the 4th available any day now. This trip I have been working on what will hopefully round off the series with a final 3 episodes. I'm aiming to read a poem or two from my 10th anniversary re-issue of JUNK/FOOD as well as one or two pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which is due out on the 18th November 2011 in time for my show.

Having brought my suitcase into work on Thursday 3rd November, the trip moved apace after work on Friday 4th November when I headed for the Jury's Inn hotel near Heathrow airport - flying out at 10.30 am on the Saturday morning...

Saturday 5th - Sunday 6th November

Alas, neither Dominic or I were feeling our best on my arrival - a mixture of jetlag, the ends of a cold and goodness knows what I picked up on the plane! :( It even affected my appetite! (Unheard of!) Luckily, it didn't last long and we were feeling well enough to see our friends Patrick and Julia on the Sunday - but I only took a few establishing shots and a couple of photos! Not up to the usual prolific yeti standard by any means!

Monday 7th November

Dominic and I headed off to San Diego on Monday morning. Neither of us were exactly feeling our best - but we got their safe enough and did a nice walk around the city. I didn't do a great deal of specific filming, but I did get a lot of establishing shots and photographs and some nice footage of a sunset down at the harbour.

Tuesday 8th November

Tuesday I was definitely feeling a bit more my yeti-self. That said, I still managed to reach our first port of call for filming without the battery in my camera and Dominic was nice enough to drive us back to the hotel so that I could pick it up and we returned to almost the same parking space without too much trouble at all. The majority of filming that morning took place in the Cacti Garden in Balboa Park where I managed to film an old poem called I AM THE GERMS from my JUNK/FOOD collection - not to mention some linking bits and pieces and a couple of daft sketches. After taking a walk around some of the other gardens we drove in the general direction of Torrey Pines State Reserve, although didn't really find quite the location that I was hoping for. I'm sure had we found the right entrance than it would have been a good place to film - but our map didn't really show the full extent of the reserve and the only part we found looked a bit like a desert on top of a cliff! In the end this definitely worked in our favour because we ended up in La Jolla Cove - which I pretty much only chose for us to explore because of the word "cove"! Not only were there some little caves to film in and a cute little beach - but also about a million seals, pelicans and goodness knows what else! In the end I only filmed some sketches and linking bits - but that was just the sort of thing I was looking for as I expect the footage to be used in an episode that will also probably use footage from my forthcoming November 2011 Poetry Cafe show.

Wednesday 9th November

Wednesday we were due to head back to L.A. from San Diego; although we did do this - we also filmed a little scene in our hotel room involving the mysterious "Yeti X" and then once back in L.A. we played a quick visit to Griffith Park and I recorded a version of DOLPHINS CAN BE SOCIABLE from my 10th anniversary edition of JUNK/FOOD.  Dominic and I went to see The Bangles that evening at House of Blues on Sunset Strip - which was the best gig I've been to since I saw The B-52s in 2008 or 9, back in London.

Thursday 10th November

Not a great deal of filming was planned for today as it was my birthday and we were heading for Disneyland; that said I did lots of little bits and took photos that I'm sure will turn up somewhere. I'll probably use some of Disneyland's fireworks at the end of one the episodes too - but shhh, don't tell them! All in all it was a fantastic birthday day out! Thanks all to Dominic (and Mickey Mouse!) :)

Friday 11th November

That's today! At least where I am! I always knew it was going to be one of the busiest of the trips over here - but the week went so quickly! Friday we managed to fit in trips to some of my favourite L.A. places - from Cici's cafe for brunch to Cd Trader record ship and Peet's Coffee, just across the road. We then headed to Topanga Canyon - scenes of many of my previous episodes of SHY YETI ON LOCATION, where I filmed a number of short stories and 2 or 3 poems too - not to mention a couple of yeti dances and many various sillnesses. I won't named exactly what I filmed, as yet - as one or two of the pieces might be held over to episodes for 2012; so I'm not sure yet when it'll all be available. What I can say is that there was a piece from JUNK/FOOD and one or two pieces from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE - not to mention a piece called INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA - a very new poem which is due to make it's live debut at my Poetry Cafe show next week and which will probably eventually appear in my ARE WE THERE, YETI? collection during 2012. There was plenty of additional silliness too!

Sadly I'm off home tomorrow (Saturday) - although I should get some quality time with Dominic and manage a few last photos and films before I head off; probably in Griffin Park somewhere. All I wanted to film for this last visit has certainly been achieved - and more! If all goes to plan then this may well be my last trip out to California for a while; although certainly not my last to the States.

This time next week I'll be doing my Poetry Cafe show! It's all go, innit!? More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. To finish with a couple more covers - the one for WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS uses another of the photos from my previous trip to California this summer.

P.P.S. Please note: The Copyright of this post belongs to Paul Chandler, 2011. Thank you!

Thursday, November 03, 2011

A NEW YETI INTERVIEW WITH THE BEARGRRRIANS!


Before we begin the interview - two more links:

YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 3

THE HILLS ARE STILL ALIVE!!! is the third episode of a new SHY YETI ON LOCATION series - YETI HUNT U.S.A., which returns us to the U.S.A. on the hunt for Shy Yeti's yeti relatives... We begin our hunt in L.A. once again - but we will be moving to a few other locations during this series. At time of posting I'm not sure how long this series will run for - several episodes were recorded back in August 2011 - with further ones still yet to be filmed during November 2011... We'll just have to see how the hunt pans out! Along with the usual daftness, this episode features some rather nice scenery - not to mention a new yeti dance, a new piece called RATTLESNAKES - a couple of 100-word stories (LAID and LEGGY BLONDE); the first of which was recorded live and is previously unavailable footage from my April 2011 Poetry Cafe show . This episode also stars my faithful sidekick Dominic McCauley who also helped me film the episode, not to mention a bear named Sidney. Music is by Luca. The footage from the show was filmed by Dan Hodges. This film is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011.

Youtube link: http://youtu.be/Wa5JcEK0d0g

Vimeo link: http://vimeo.com/31474677

I'm currently editing PART 4, which to use a phrase that I used to attribute to episodes of my 1990s series SUTTON PARK, is probably going to end up being a "bimbo episode..." A bimbo episode is one which mainly has nice views and not a lot else going on. In the case of YETI HUNT U.S.A. - PART 4 there are a lot of lovely views from my trip to Portland; although there is previously un-released footage of me at my April 2011 Poetry Cafe show - a few sillinesses and a yeti dance in a spooky forest near Mount Hood. It'll also be about 5 minutes longer than the other episodes as there are so many nice views to show you. There is one more episode to come after that, also filmed in Portland - which uses up the rest of my Summer 2011 trip footage and then I'll be recording the last 3 episodes during my trip to the States next week.

Anyway... Enough about all this, for now... It's time for the interview!!

ANOTHER SLIGHTLY-OVER 60 SECOND CHAT WITH SHY YETI


Here is an interview that I did recently with a Beargrrrian magazine called THE GROWL GAZETTE – they know me over there due to my dubious connection with a certain Beargrrrian superstar named Charlie Grrr. They interviewed me earlier in the year when I was finishing my YETI HUGS book – but now they want to speak to me again! They must be short of people to interview. This time I’m speaking mainly about my new book. So, here’s what they asked and what I said in reply – straight from the horse’s, erm – yeti’s mouth, as it were!

Q. So, Paul - tell us about your latest book. Firstly, what’s it called?

A. Well, the title of my next collection is FUNERAL FOR A SHOE.

Q. FUNERAL FOR A SHOE? Where did that title come from?

A. A very good question! It partly came about because I’ve had a bit of a Converse trainer fetish over the last 18 months or so and now own over 20 pairs; much to the horror of some of my friends! *That would be you, Harry! Nobody else cares! ;)* I think I was probably mulling over how I would feel when the first of these pairs had to be retired to the great shoe-box in the sky and wondered whether I should hold a funeral for them! (I’m not being entirely serious here, mind!) The more I thought about the title the more I actually thought, “Hey… I could do something with this idea!” and then over the next few weeks I came up with the five elegies to commemorate the shoe – five crazy adventures that the shoe and its owner experienced which led to its demise! In around March 2011, during a trip home to Wiltshire, I took a number of photos of me looking mournful with a pair of old trainers, which appear on the cover and the project just took off from there…

Q. So is this collection all stories? Or does it also involve poetry?

A. It’s both. It’s a little like my last collection THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE in that it is prose and poetry – although on this occasion there are a lot more stories than poems and the stories are a little longer than 100 words. There is also a series of 5 prose pieces under the title ELEGY AT THE FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which is just that – 5 quirky adventures about a gentleman and his trusty pair of trainers! There are photos, illustrations and all sorts! Plenty going on!

Q. You’ve worked on four different collections of prose or poetry in 2011?

A. Well, pretty much – they’ve not necessarily all been published during this year. There was YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS that I published in the Spring; although most of the writing for this was completed during 2010. Whilst proofing that collection I put together the VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE book which I began in late 2010, but which was completed pretty quickly because it contained a lot of my 100-word stories. Because I was reading them live quite quickly after writing them they didn’t take so much time to proofread. Whilst proofing VAMPIRE COWS I started work on FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and finished the first draft of that by late July and by now (late October) have made the decision to publish in time for my Poetry Café show on the 18th November 2011. The last thing commissioned for the book were illustrations for the FUNERAL FOR A SHOE novella – and these have been done now! They’re very good! (Blog Ed. You can see one of them in my previous post.) Since late July I have been working on a collection called ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! which is mainly short stories and a few poems. I have over 80 pieces complete for it – but will probably work on it until the end of the year and so it’ll probably be out by early-Summer 2012. Along with these 4 books I have been working on 10th anniversary editions of my first four poetry collections, which will be released between late 2011 and early 2013. On top of that I have also been putting together three Mouse of Commons collections – one novel: THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM which was published in the Summer – its sequel THE SPLINTERS OF TIME, which I don’t expect to be ready until 2013 – and a collection of short stories and a novella called TALES FROM THE MCWHISKERS ARCHIVES, which I expect to be my 2012 Mouse release and which I have been working on, on and off since mid-2007.

Q. How does FUNERAL FOR A SHOE differ from your last books YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS and THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE? which came out during the first half of 2011?

A. Well, in that it is a book of short stories and poems it is relatively the same – with my usual mix of dark humour and horror – but the stories are perhaps a little longer than VAMPIRE COWS and obviously they’re all completely new stories. I don’t really want to say more of the same; that always sounds negative – but I think there’s a really good mix in this collection – certainly there’s plenty going on! You won’t find much white space in the book; all of the 356 pages are either full of writing or photos of one kind or another!

Q. What caused your shift over to more prose-based pieces this year?

A. Well, I guess I’ve been gradually moving that way – it’s not as if I made a concerted decision. The stories I wrote last year for YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS started it off and then discovering the 100 word stories in January really made a difference and led to me writing the new batch of 100-worders that were included in THE VAMPIRE COWS… Having done so many of those in such a short time I then naturally moved on to the slightly longer pieces that are in FUNERAL FOR A SHOE and ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! It’s just happened, no planning – just natural development. All I can add is that it’s been a great journey and lovely to look back a year or more later and see some progression.

Q. Tell us about some of your favourites from the new book - which pieces are you most proud of?

A. Well, I like them all in different way; I wouldn’t ever select a piece for a collection that I downright hated – but some I’ve started performing and seem to work very well in that environment. Once I start performing them I guess they naturally become my favourites because I’m still closely associating myself with them long after the book is completed. Such examples in this collection include ALTERNATIVE ROCK AND ROLL LIFESTYLE – which is a sort of reverse-take of the whole rock and roll world… DEATH OF A GIRL BAND – which I read in Paris and which is extremely silly. It was also nice to be able to finally complete the pilot episode of a radio series that I began in 2004 called THE BEAST OF FRIENDS – and I have since decided to continue with the other episodes of the series having completed that first one. I’ve also very much enjoyed performing the poems LOVE-GO-ROUND, “MOTHER MEET PARIS…” and THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS – two of which made their live debuts at my Poetry Café show in June 2011 and later again in L.A. during the Summer.

Q. Talking of which… How is the performance poetry going?

A. Good. Although I’m still glad that I main outlet for it is my poetry films. It’s definitely a medium that I feel more at home with; but I do love performing to an audience now and again. I’m just not a competitive person – so the idea of Poetry Slams really doesn’t appeal. I’m not sure I see a need to prove that one poem is better than another. Certainly some people seem to get a lot out of it, but at the moment it’s really not for me. Far too sociable! But I do like doing my own charity gigs with other like minded poets; as I did back in the Summer and it was great to be invited to be the guest speaker at The Cobalt Café in Los Angeles in August.

Q. Are there any of your new pieces that you feel are working especially well when performed live?

A. Definitely – although in a way 2011 has been far more about prose than poetry… I mentioned it earlier, but my piece THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS seems to have gone down pretty well, this year – which was certainly a pleasant surprise as it was one that just came together ridiculously quickly. I debuted it at my charity show for Wood Green Animal Shelters back in June and then again at the Cobalt Café in L.A. in August.

Q. When is your next show?

A. I'm doing another one at The Poetry Café next month, Friday 18th November. It’s partly a 10th anniversary show for my first collection JUNK/FOOD – but is also taking place on what will be the launch date for FUNERAL FOR A SHOE. I also hope to read one or two piece from my first book of 2012, ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! and maybe some 100-word stories from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE. I also have a special guest with me that night and it’s all for charity – on this occasion for SHELTER… http://www.shelter.org.uk/

Q. Any other upcoming shows?

A. Well, following on from my Anniversary show that will probably be it for the year; except that I’m due to return to RADIO WEY on the first Saturday of December. I am hoping to arrange another show in early 2012; probably in March or April to celebrate the 10th anniversary of both my blog and the ROLLERCOASTER collection… So I’m expecting great things from next year – along with any writing projects I complete; although 2010 and 2011 will be hard years to beat for the range of things I’ve managed to achieve. But 2012 is looking to be a great year for another reason – but that’s between me and my muse!

Q. How is the SHY YETI ON LOCATION series progressing?

A. Very well, I’d say. I had a few editing problems during September and October, but have over-come them. They seem to be mainly down to me trying to be a bit too fancy on the special effects side! In the last month or so I have added a number of new films – some smaller “nugget-sized” episodes from my trip to The Isle of Wight – one from my appearance on Radio Wey in October 2011 and three episodes of my new series YETI HUNT U.S.A., which I filmed whilst out in the States during July and August. I’m currently working on Part 4.

Q. What about the episodes that you filmed in Lille and Brugge last month. When will these see the light of day and what about your return to L.A.?

A. Well, the European episodes are safely in the can, but are yet to be edited as I want to release the YETI HUNT U.S.A. series in order and it’s looking like there will be 8 episodes of that. Five of them I filmed in the Summer and the other three I intend to film when I head off to Los Angeles again this weekend. I’m expecting there to be enough footage for an episode in Lille and an episode in Brugge, as I read a number of poems, showed off plenty of nice views and also did plenty of daft things – including, of course – a yeti dance! I’d have probably recorded even more if I hadn’t run out of battery power, with no chance to recharge! (Long story!) There’s a good possibility that they will either end up as my unofficial not-especially festive 2011 Christmas special; either that or my first films of 2012!! During the European episodes I decided to focus on my re-issued 10th anniversary edition of JUNK/FOOD and so only read poems from this collection. As for the return to L.A., well – I plan to finally meet my yeti relatives, read a mixture of old and new pieces and there is also another road trip planned… Watch this space!

Q. Can you tell us where the road trip will be too?

A. You want an exclusive? Okay… Dominic and I intend to head for San Diego. I’ve been looking into possible Yeti Dance locations!! There should also be plenty of time when I’m in Los Angeles to re-visit some of my old haunts; this may be my last trip to L.A. for a while - if not to The States itself. So, I’ll be back to Griffith Park and Topanga Canyon for a start and then we’ll see what happens!!

Q. How did your residency at the Cobalt Café go during your last trip?

A. Good, I think. I really enjoyed it. It was great to be able to read a wider range of poems this time too and get a feel for what works in L.A. compared to the reaction that I get in London. It’s not always the same pieces. Alas I won’t be able to return for open-mike during this trip as I should be in San Diego that night. Don’t forget to check out the video of the night at either http://youtu.be/o_Zm4wgiJSY or http://vimeo.com/27559840

Q. So after FUNERAL and ARE WE THERE, YETI?! What next?

A. The collection after these two is due to be titled NOT AS SHY AS I WAS and it’s a collection of short stories and poems, rather like VAMPIRE COWS, FUNERAL and ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! Although I doubt it’ll be ready until late 2012. ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! is almost done – but NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is currently only a twinkle! I’m also working on the sequel to SHY YETI RULES OK; SHY YETI STILL RULES OK and another compilation called CACTUS HEART and further 10th anniversary editions. I intend to release new versions of my first 8 books, published between 2002 and 2005 which takes us up to my first Lulu collection. After that I guess I’ll consider re-vamping some of those mid-period books: POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR etc. I’ll be very old by then – I’m already considering quite how to celebrate my 40th birthday in 2013 as far as my writing goes!

Q. Are there any other projects that you want to mention?

A. Another Mouse of Commons book – well, two, really… My aim is still to produce one Mouse book a year – but I am usually working on two. I am currently doing the final proofing on my book for 2012, a collection of short stories which have been in the pipe-line for quite a while. It’s called TALES FROM THE MCWHISKERS ARCHIVES and the six stories were written between 2007 and 2008; but due to a backlog I’ve only just caught up! The stories are nice and diverse; one is co-written with my friend Gareth Bellis – one is set in Milan and features a lot of photos from a trip I took there which influenced the story… I’ll say more on all this nearer the time, of course. I’m basically just doing the proofing and the formatting at the moment. The 2nd book that I’m working on is provisionally entitled THE SPLINTERS OF TIME and I don’t expect it to be ready until, at least 2013. It’s the sequel to this year’s GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM. Along with all the poems and short stories I am also working on a radio series called THE BEAST OF FRIENDS… I completed the pilot to be included in FUNERAL, but have now decided to complete the 8 episodes that I originally envisioned back in 2004.

Q. Are you planning more Sutton Park? Isn’t 2012 the 20th anniversary of the original series?

A. Definitely. In fact there are two or three episodes filmed last year still to edit which I want to get around to; but I’m not intending to edit any more episodes until I’ve caught up with the poetry ones. I guess I should have caught up by early next year and there is usually a gap between January and Easter where I don’t go away; so maybe then. Incidentally, having recently updated the ratings on my video I notice that my top 3 videos are all Sutton Park episodes – with the first episode having almost double the ratings of its nearest competitor. My theory is that it’s people looking for Youtube videos of the actual Sutton Park near Birmingham.

Q. Any last words, Paul?

A. Well… A funny thing happened last night. I was reading a paper the other day and saw that an up and coming children’s writer was working on a book called THE HEX FACTOR, which made me laugh. I actually used that title for a short Mouse story years ago! Gladstone leads the way ahead, as ever! As far as joke titles go it’s a bit of an old pun now, I’d have thought – but anyway! It was a daft enough title when I used it! I’ve always said that I try and give my stories titles that I hope are unique – that one was for a while, I guess! I’m not going to change it now!

Q. No way! You used it first. Well, thank you again for speaking to us, Paul.

A. That's okay – my pleasure! Thank you for having me for the second time in one year – hopefully we’ll growl again soon. I’d just like to pass on all my thanks to every one in Beargrrria for all their support and good will over the years...

So, there you have it!

I hope you enjoyed that! More soon! Probably written whilst I'm out in the States.

Yeti Hugs, Paul xxx

All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler / The Growl Gazette, 2011

Thursday, August 11, 2011


A HAPPY RETURN TO THE COBALT CAFE - TUESDAY 2ND AUGUST 2011

Some of you may know - some of you may not, that I have just returned from two highly enjoyable weeks back in the States. I was over there for a couple of weeks - exploring more of L.A. with Mr Dominic McCauley (the John Steed to my Emma Peel) and also paying a trip to Portland, Oregon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portland,_Oregon along the way.  Not only did I manage to write a couple of poems and a good few stories - but I also managed to film 2 or 3 new episodes of SHY YETI ON LOCATION, the first of these will hopefully be edited before the end of the month. I am currently at the proofreading stage of my next collection FUNERAL FOR A SHOE, but the stories that I have been writing since late July will appear in the collection after this, which is entitled ARE WE THERE, YETI? and will focus quite heavily on my summer trip and my return trip to L.A. in November. But more of that in future posts...

In addition to all this activity I was also invited to be the visiting poet for the night at The Cobalt Cafe in Los Angeles (Canoga Park, CA to be precise!), on my return from Portland, as you can see from the nifty poster below...



Some of you may remember that I read open-mike at the Cobalt Cafe last summer - for those who don't, but who are interested, I posted a video from my 2010 visit on youtube last year at: http://youtu.be/he0CQVgN_RE

Not to forget my SHY YETI IN HOLLYWOOD episode which includes an additional poem from that night: http://youtu.be/07Ay2pMvE4k

Returning to the here and now, it was a wonderful privilege to be invited to be The Cobalt Cafe's featured poet on the 2nd August. This slot allows more than double the time given to those reading open-mike and so I was able to read more of a mix of rhyme and prose during my twenty minutes.

For those of you who are interested I read the following poems - all making their U.S. live debuts here, although a couple of them have been recorded on location for previous SHY YETI ON LOCATION episodes... Anyway, these are the ones performed on the night.

DISCO YETI
THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS
PICCADILLY CIRCUS
LAS VEGAS LIPS
COMING INTO LAND
GEOGRAPHY BE DAMNED
TAKEN
THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR
IF SHAKESPEARE WERE AROUND TODAY
WE WERE GOING TO BE WED (WHEN WE BOTH HIT 40!)

In a little more detail...

DISCO YETI

This piece dates from 2007 and is included in my RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR collection as well as 2009s SHY YETI RULES OK compilation. It's one of those pieces that I often read first as I usually read one that name-checks a yeti at the start of my shows.

THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS

One of my newest pieces - completed in mid-June 2011 and due for inclusion in my next book FUNERAL FOR A SHOE which I hope to be ready by late January 2012. It seems to be one that people like, having received a good reaction during our AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI (AND OTHER ANIMALS) show back in June. It also appears in the video A YETI IN PARIS - PART 1 http://youtu.be/VJIoPk5WFeU

PICCADILLY CIRCUS

This is a quite early piece from 2002, originally from my ROLLERCOASTER collection - but also compiled in 2009s SHY YETI RULES OK book. I haven't read it a great deal lately - but it seemed to fit well as this was one of my poems from the night that I read to show my British roots!

LAS VEGAS LIPS

This seemed an obvious piece to read as it namechecks a U.S. city not so very far from Los Angeles. In fact I made a video for it having made my 3rd visit to Las Vegas back in December 2010. You can watch it in the SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode - A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD - PART 2 at:http://youtu.be/fF4OlsOeqTY  It can be found in my SHY YETI RULES OK (2009), but was originally included in POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL from 2006.

COMING INTO LAND

This is a piece that I began writing in 2010 during my first trip to L.A., although it wasn't completed until 2011 and was included in my recent THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection. As I didn't have enough spare copies of this book ready to sell it was my YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS collection, from earlier in the year, that I ended up promoting on the night. I introduced this piece as being the first of two poems about long distance relationships.

GEOGRAPHY BE DAMNED

This was the 2nd of the two long-distance relationship poems that I read on the night. This is from 2010s YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS and I previously read it in Topanga Canyon in December 2010, during my second video - for inclusion in Part 2 of my A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD series. (See link from LAS VEGAS LIPS above...)

TAKEN

This piece was originally from my THIRD TIME LUCKY collection from 2002, but was also revived for inclusion in SHY YETI RULES OK in 2009. It is not a piece that I have read very often - if at all, I'm not too sure now! My poor yeti memory! This is why I have to do such indepth blogs and fact-files in my books, as I'll never remember in 6 months time! TAKEN was one of my more prose-y pieces that I chose to read on the evening to (hopefully) show the range of my work.

THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR

This was the earliest piece that I read on the night - from my first collection JUNK/FOOD from 2001, although the actual poem itself was written back in 1992. It is also included in my SHY YETI RULES OK collection (2009).

IF SHAKESPEARE WERE AROUND TODAY

This is a another piece from my recent THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE from July 2011 and it made only it's second live performance here, having been debuted as my Poetry Cafe show back in March 2011. I chose it partly because it namechecked a great British icon - and partly because it also attempts to take the mickey out of the aforementioned icon; although I still maintain that this is exactly the way that Shakespeare would be treated if he showed up today!

WE WERE GOING TO BE WED (WHEN WE BOTH HIT 40!)

The last piece read on the evening was from my IF POEMS WERE PIES collection from 2009, although it also appeared in my SHY YETI RULES OK compilation from the same year. It is one that I have read towards the end of the night for a while and is my poem of choice to end with if I'm not reading I WILL EAT PIES, which I choose not to on this occasion. It's a bit too weird perhaps for an audience not used to my strange yeti ways! ;)

This was one of the few opportunities that I've had to highlight the range of poems that I have written in the last *almost* 20 years from THE TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR in 1992 to the very recent THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS from June 2011 - and so I was very pleased to be able to do so...

As a matter of completion, here are the other poems that were considered for the night! Yes, I didn't just show up unplanned, you know - Dominic actually timed me earlier in the day and I read a number of these other poems before deciding on the final line-up. Those poems that did not make it at the final hurdle - but which were practiced on the day and considered include: THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD, HOPELESS ROMANTIC, BACK THEN, JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU, IF YOU WERE MY WIFE, OPEN-MIKE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and WE'RE AN ITEM NOW. Finally, others considered and rejected before I left the U.K. include ALL GIVE - NO TAKE, THE GREAT BOOKSHOP IN THE SKY, THE KING OF RHYME, OTHERWISE ENGAGED, YOU - ME AND THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS, RECKLESSLY, WAVES, THE CUTEST GUY IN THE BAND, I KNOW HIM, NO-ONE EVER FELT COOL BUYING AN MP3, PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK, RESPECTABLE TEXTS, WAITING FOR GHOSTS and A SWEET TAIL.

I am pleased to announce that there is also a video from the show, SHY YETI - RETURNS TO THE COBALT CAFE!! which has just gone up on Youtube and Vimeo at the following links:

Youtube: http://youtu.be/o_Zm4wgiJSY

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/27559840

Dominic recorded all 10 of the poems and this particular video contains 7 of the 10 poems that I read on the night and comes to a little under 14 minutes in length. I have kept back the other three poems for inclusion in my new SHY YETI ON LOCATION series YETI HUNT U.S.A.; the first episode of which should be available before the end of the month.

I'd just like to give a big thanks to Rick Lupert for inviting me to read at quite short notice when he heard that I was coming over, to Dominic for recording the poems - to my friends Patrick and Julia for coming along to watch, support and applaud me on the night (not to mention feeding me with an awesome dinner a couple of nights before!) I would also like to thank all those in the audience; some that I spoke with and some that I didn't, for their warm welcome. Thanks especially to those who either bought my "broadsheet" which included my poem A LEARNING EXPERIENCE or my SHY YETI RULES OK or YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS collections, which I brought over with me for the night.

They'll be more from me soon - but I shall let you go and watch the video now... *hint hint* ;)

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

OPEN-MIKE U.K. VERSUS U.S. !!!

Hello!

The title of this post sounds all very grand and important; but really it's not at all…

I just wanted to briefly update you about my return to reading at the Poetry Café - Poetry Unplugged open-mike evening on Tuesday 25th January 2011. It was the first time I'd been along for quite some months. I read towards the end of the first half and I think I was probably the only person either rhyming or reading more humour-based poetry in that half; usually it's a bit more of a mix. There was quite a lot of free-form poetry about death and break-ups! ;)

I read the following poems - all of the first 3 appear in one of my recent SHY YETI ON LOCATION videos and I'll post links to which ones below. I also managed a quick mention of both the Youtube and Vimeo sites during my 5 minutes:

THE CAFFEINE QUEEN

A piece from DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? which is one of my favourites from my recent books. It was included in my first SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode ON LOCATION IN DORSET back in January 2010.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dHbo3vLD-g or http://vimeo.com/8541628

A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

A poem I usually read towards the end of my shows - it first appeared in my collection ROLLERCOASTER in 2002 and later in my SHY YETI RULES OK compilation in 2009. I also recorded it for my Valentine's show in February 2010.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhR_PljZay8 or http://vimeo.com/9347050

BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE

A new piece from the next book YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS (2011) which recently appeared in part 3 of my A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD series.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYYzcBIYS34 or http://vimeo.com/18970584

THEY DON'T RHYME THEIR POEMS IN L.A.

This is where the U.S. Open-mike reference comes from. This is a poem from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE - the book after YETI HUGS... which should be out late this year or early 2012; it all depends how fast I get it done. Currently it's going VERY fast!! This piece was first debuted on Facebook earlier this month and is about what somebody said to me after I had read at the enjoyable Cobalt Café Open Mike night in August 2010. Apparently rhyme isn't so popular over there...

Thanks to Julie for going along to support me - I'm going to post the L.A. poem at the end of this post!

More news soon…

Take care for now - yeti hugs!

Paul xx

THEY DON'T RHYME THEIR POEMS IN L.A...


They don't rhyme their poems in L.A...
You know they told me that in person!
I think perhaps they're kinda nervous...
Or have some quite perverse aversion!
Oh, they'd rather write in free-verse...
To pretend they're intellectual...
They cock-a-snoop at limericks –
And declare daft ditties ineffectual...
But what makes a poem work?
Well, it's a lot about the timing...
I thought they liked their hip-hop there –
And isn't rap about the rhyming?
But I don't wanna cause a war –
So I will smile and not start fighting...
Yes, I will rhyme back home in Blighty –
And know I'm right in what I'm writing!

THEY DON'T RHYME THEIR POEMS IN L.A. is Copyright Paul Chandler 2011 - it will be published in late 2011 / early 2012 in the forthcoming collection THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE AND OTHER DAFTNESSES.

Friday, September 10, 2010

SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD!!!

Hi,

Just to let you know that the new SHY YETI ON LOCATION video is up. It is called SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD and the links to both the Youtube and Vimeo versions of the show are below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Ay2pMvE4k

http://vimeo.com/14843474

This time on SHY YETI ON LOCATION Paul heads in search of glamour and ends up in Hollywood where this time he finds himself a side-kick! This video was recorded in August 2010 during a week-long visit to the city and amongst the daft sketches and yeti dances you will find three poems and the like from Mr Chandler. These include new poem: JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU, an older piece called ANYTHING FOR HER ART and a more recent poem called KISS ME QUICK as performed at The Cobalt Cafe. Thanks to Dominic M for his acting skills and camerawork and also to Patrick and Julia for their help and for loaning Todd for his appearance in this show. The Shy Yeti Theme is by my friend, Luca.


I hope you enjoy it. I am indeed intending to do another 3 or 4 episodes before the end of the year. An autumn episode sometime during October and featuring a mystery guest - a couple of episodes from foreign locations - 1 in November and 1 in December and then maybe if there is time a Christmas episode. That said I really must spend some time editing the back log of Sutton Park episodes and start putting the next book of poetry and prose into some sort of shape. In addition to that the Mouse of Commons is also calling me for attention!
Before I depart I should also add that my next post is my 150th - so I'd like to find some cool way of celebrating that fact too; we shall see! :)

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

Thursday, September 02, 2010


SHY YETI GOES TO L.A. - VIDEO ALREADY UP - MORE TO FOLLOW...

Hi,

It suddenly occurred to me that I've not updated you all on my trip to L.A. I am currently working on a new episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION (which may or may not end up as a double length episode, as I took so much footage...) However to keep you going there is already a new video up of me performing three poems at an open-mike night in L.A., at The Cobalt Cafe, which I actually put up whilst I was still away. This can be watched on youtube at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he0CQVgN_RE or at Vimeo on my SHYYETI channel.

The new SHY YETI video from Hollywood includes a number of sketches - but also three poems and will hopefully go up in a week or two.

Whether or not I will get all these filmed, but at the moment this is my schedule for further SHY YETI ON LOCATION videos during 2010.

SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD (September)
SHY YETI VS AUTUMN (October/November)
SHY YETI IN VENICE (November/December)
SHY YETI GOES TO VEGAS (December)

There are also a number of new SUTTON PARK episodes in the can, which need editing; but this all rather depends on how much time I have.

To finish with, here is a very new piece, which I wrote just today - which is inspired by my L.A. experiences and because I have recently been listening to a lot of Kiss albums for the first time.

I hope you enjoy it!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

FIRST SNOG

02/09/2010

They were a new band.
Their name was SNOG.
It was catchy too; for the 1970s.
Their manager came up with a gimmick.
Suggested that they paint their faces.
Each member of the band should have a different persona.
Each mask should be eye-catching like a comic book character.
It would work well for merchandising too.
Nobody had done anything like it before…
“You're going to be The Devil Ghost...”
Their manager told the bassist, also one of the vocalists…
When shown the design he liked it - it looked fierce, pale, haggard and frightening…
He could keep his hair long and imagine he was in a horror movie.
“You're going to be The Moondust Child…”
Their manager told the lead vocalist, who also played rhythm guitar…
The drawing made him look like some kind of futuristic alien made from glitter.
He liked it immediately.
Next it was the turn of their lead guitarist and vocalist.
“You're going to be The Meteor Man…” explained their manager.
The drawing was fantastic - it made him look strong, as if made from granite.
The fans would love that!!
Secretly the lead guitarist suspected that he would be their favourite.
Last of all came the drummer, percussionist and occasional vocalist.
He caught sight of his character before it was properly explained.
It looked a little like some kind of animal, quite unlike the other three masks.
“What's that?” asked the drummer. “It looks like a panda - it looks like it's smiling…”
"It's not a panda…" explained their manager. "It's a badger…"
The drummer frowned, looking to see if his band mates were smirking;
However they all looked a little distracted by dust-mites and shoe-laces; none smiled.
“A BADGER?" exploded the drummer. "A BLOODY BADGER?”
“A SPACE badger…” added their manager hurriedly. “You're so lucky; it's great!”
“Yeah, it's the best design of the lot…” agreed The Devil Ghost.
“I'm like - really jealous, man…” added The Moondust Child.
“Wow, yeah! It's absolutely amazing!” chimed in The Meteor Man.
Gradually, the drummer began to regard the drawing with a little more confidence.
“You like it? Really!?” he enquired, nervously - now suddenly warming to it.
“A SPACE BADGER, you say? Can I wear a hat?”
“Yes, of course…” agreed the Manager, nodding. “A large pink hat - with sequins!!”
Drummers, ey. Bless 'em.
They're like the magpies of the rock world...
You can convince them of anything if you bribe them with something shiny.

FIRST SNOG is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2010 and will appear in his next collection.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

"JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU" - A NEW POEM BEFORE A BIG JOURNEY...

Hi folks,

"JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU" is my newest poem; written today - Wednesday 4th August 2010 just before I head out to L.A. tomorrow for a few days holiday. I wrote most of it on the train back to my flat between Salisbury and Weybridge earlier this morning; writing the last 8 lines to verse 5 and 6 back at home, at around lunchtime. The first lines that came to me were the one about flapping your arms, which became verse 5 and the second idea was about digging a tunnel - which ended up as the first verse. Having decided to write 6 verses - I wrote the first 8 lines of each and then returned to finish the last 8 lines once I had a scenario devised. All the verses were written in order except for verses 5 and 6 which I wrote in reverse order. It's basically just a daft poem about being determined to reach someone despite being so far away - and using the oddest methods to get there. Paws crossed rhat the last option - the giant leap - was the one that worked... I'm being positive here; I know it was! I expect this piece to appear in my next collection - and I dedicate it to Mr Dominic McCauley whom I am meeting when I arrive in LA tomorrow! Hoorah! :) I may even go and do an open-mike night whilst I'm out there, if I'm brave enough... I'll keep you informed!!

I hope you enjoy the new poem! More soon! :)

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx


JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU...

I am digging me a tunnel -
Just to get myself to you...
I am building me a trail -
That leads the way!
I have packed myself a picnic -
Just in case I crave a snack...
And when I get the other end -
I'm going to stay!
And yet the moles are getting jealous -
And all the earth worms are on strike!
They have built a barricade to keep me out!
So, I am turning back again -
Yes - I will find another way!
But I will get myself to you -
Without a doubt...


I am building me a sail-boat...
Just to get myself to you!
And I have taught myself -
The fastest way to row...
I am steering round the mermaids -
And I'm avoiding all the sharks...
With the vain hope that my -
Muscles may well grow!
With urgent fury I will paddle -
Although my toes are getting wet...
I am worried that my craft -
Has sprung a leak!
I have a nasty sinking feeling -
That the waves are growing high...
But I will get myself to you -
Within the week!


I am constructing me a bridge -
Just to get myself to you...
I will admire every view -
Take in the sights!
I've got a large supply of girders -
Yes, I've got my nuts and bolts!
And I will cross my paws -
I'm not afraid of heights!
Well, I have got the first arch stable -
But the next one looks a mess...
In the sea breeze I can -
See it start to sway!
All the wood-worm in the planks -
Are getting sea-sick too, alas...
So I will get myself to you -
Some other way!


I will fly a large balloon -
Just to get myself to you...
I am inflating it -
I'll fill it full of puff...
I am hoping it will rise -
Above the very highest cloud!
If I can only get it floating -
High enough!
Yes, there I stand upon the clifftop -
In the hope the wind may catch...
That I'll bob out above the sea -
And not be scared...
I have the feeling that the sea gulls -
Are about to peck me - BANG!!
But I'll still get myself to you...
I come prepared!!


I will flap my bingo wings -
Just to get myself to you...
I am pretending to myself -
That I'm a bee!
I have even got the outfit -
With my black and yellow stripes -
And I have bought myself -
A flask of honey tea...
But there's the slightest pang of worry -
I can hear a little sound -
A swarm of insects -
And a quite unfriendly buzz!
They must know I'm an imposter...
And they want to drive me out...
But I'll still get myself to you -
Well, just becuz!! ;)


I will take a running jump -
Just to get myself to you...
A decent run up -
Is the only thing I'll need!
There you are across the sea -
So, I will take a flying leap!
All I require is a little -
Head of speed...
I am coming, faster - faster...
Yes, my legs are moving quick!
You are worried at the plan -
That's now afoot!
But as I fly across the edge -
My strength of mind will get me there -
So once I've got myself to you -
I'm staying put!

"JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU..." is Copyright Paul Chandler 2010 and will appear in his next collection; late 2010/ early 2011.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


PAUL GOES TO L.A. AND ANOTHER POEM FROM THE NEW BOOK

Hello,

Just a quick post to show off some rather cool photos that were sent to me by a good friend from L.A. who bought the new book. I am sorry to say that I, myself, am yet to visit L.A. - but it is nice to see that my books get to do a bit of sightseeing in their new homes. Thank you, Dominic McCauley for taking all these photos! Hopefully I can come visit my book one day soon! :)


Whilst we are considering L.A. and all the stars that can be found there I thought this gave me the perfect idea of which poem from the new book: DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? that I should post here. It's called FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE A PAIN IN THE ARSE - but, of course, does not refer to the genuine stars that are featured on the streets of L.A. - more the Z-listers that are continually pushed our way these days. I hope you enjoy both the poem and the new photos.

In further news I have been busy compiling THE YETI MACABRE, which features some new short stories, scripts and some of my more curious poetic endeavours. I have also been working on a lot of poems over the last few weeks - titles include: THE MEN IN WHITE COATS ARE MY FRIENDS, RESPECTABLE TEXTS and THE CUTEST ONE IN THE BAND amongst others.More soon!

Massive yeti hugs,

Paul xxx




FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE A PAIN IN THE ARSE…


I am sick of the famous…
They're a pain in the arse!
They think they're better than us –
But most simply lack class!
I'm so sick of their hairstyles…
Yes, I'm sick of their sneering…
Oh so sick of their chat;
When in HEAT they're appearing!
They all drive me insane!
They must all take the blame…
Botox messed with their brains –
'Til they forgot their own name!
Oh, why don't they feck off –
So we don't have to see them…
Despite what everyone says –
I would not want to be them…


I'm so sick of the famous –
Can't we send them away?
Give them all one way tickets –
Out to Mars or Bombay...
I am sick of the famous –
They're a pain in the neck!
They emerge out of rehab –
Yet they still look a wreck!
Then they make their confessions –
So we all have to hear 'em!
Why can't we just feed them –
Some dead poisonous serum!?
Oh, why can't we just bury them –
Deep down under the ground?
Shhh… And not tell a soul!
So, they'll never be found!
Oh, why don't they feck off?
They're a cause for concern!
No-one cares for them now –
But seems they never will learn!



I'm so sick of the famous –
And the floozies they bed!
I hear eight out of ten folk –
Would prefer they were dead!
I am sick of the famous –
They're a pain in the butt!
They just fill up the gutters –
They are all off their nut…
They have nothing to say –
That the world needs to hear!
How I laugh when I see –
That they're living in fear!
With the Paps on the door –
For another sound bite!
See them craving the fame –
Like moths burnt by the light…
Oh, why don't they fuck off?
I care not what they've felt!
I care not what they've suffered –
I live in hope they might melt!
I'm so sick of the famous –
And with all of their moaning!
It is they who have sinned –
But it is us who's atoning!



FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE A PAIN IN THE ARSE is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2010 and is from the new collection DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? All photos Copyright Dominic McCauley, 2010.