SHY YETI'S SHY PLACE...: POETS

Showing posts with label POETS. Show all posts

Sunday, December 27, 2015

GOODBYE 2015!! HELLO 2016!!

WHAT OCCURRED IN SHY YETI LAND IN 2015 AND WHAT'S IN STORE IN 2016...

Hello beasties!

Welcome back for our final post of 2015. I do hope you all had a splendid Christmas and are now gearing up to celebrating the arrival of 2016 - whether this be by having a party or simply by going to bed early. I'll probably be writing and watching some old telly - I'm currently contemplating having an evening of Prisoner: Cell Block H; watching the last few episodes with a well-loaded gin and tonic! Last time I watched those final episodes I got terribly tipsy on some boozy coffee one Saturday afternoon in about 2003. Ah well, we shall see...

Anyway, I guess this should be considered my review of the year... Clearly not THE year - just MY year, which is enough for most people...

Oh, go on... Indulge me... I've put together a guide of all things Shy Yeti in 2015 - collecting all my posts for the year in one place to re-share the links with you... Look how much effort I've put in; it's all shiny and new!? What!? You'll take a look... Oh, thank you... So where shall we begin - oh, I know - what books did I publish this year; that seems the obvious place to begin...

SHY YETI'S PUBLISHED BOOKS OF 2015...

Here they are - all in a lovely list for you...

THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - SEASON 3

My first release of the year - the third season of THE BEAST OF FRIENDS quartet. This is a good one too; seeing a slight shift from humour to a darker set of scripts that tell one sinister story... This season focuses on the arrival of a new flat-mate who causes all manner of horrible events.

Link: www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_01_11_archive.html

POETIQUETTE

It came out a little later than I had intended - but I am very glad to have finally got it out there. This was the 10th anniversary edition of my 8th collection from 2005 and the last of my main batch of early reissues.

Link: www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_08_23_archive.html

I also did a show in celebration of this collection, some months after it's 10th anniversary in late October 2015. It was the only show that I did in 2015 due to being unwell - so it meant a lot that it was such a fun evening. You can read about my return to The Poetry Café alongside John Smallshaw at: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_11_01_archive.html

THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - SEASON 4

This was the fourth and final season of BEAST and was published in mid-October, along with a compiled volume of seasons 1 to 4, which I was very keen to produce. This final season contain four longer scripts which rounds up the series... or does it!? Read on to learn the answer...

Link: www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_10_18_archive.html

During 2015 I also posted a lot of new material on my blog. Once I have enough pieces I'll probably put them all into a collection, but for now you can read them at the following links... A lot of them were inspired by day trips that I had or by photographs that I took and I was pleased to be able to share so many of my works in progress; especially during a year when I wasn't so well. I'm happy that I didn't let my writing suffer and kept busy with it - as it's a very important part of my day to day life...

It wasn't just stories and photos that I posted on the blog during 2015, but an interview or two, a review of my Poetry Café show, a biography from the Beargrrrian Gazette and a Yeti Agony Aunt column, of sorts...

SHY YETI'S OTHER WRITINGS OF 2015...

SHY YETI'S 8TH INTERVIEW...
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_03_22_archive.html

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A SHY YETI
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_07_05_archive.html

ASK SHY YETI!
http://www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_10_25_archive.html

SHY YETI'S POETIQUETTE SHOW AT THE POETRY CAFE
http://www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_11_01_archive.html

SHY YETI'S 9TH INTERVIEW...
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_12_06_archive.html

I also wrote a few travelogues of my holidays - and took a lot of photos...

BERLIN (No diary, but plenty of photos!)
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_03_08_archive.html

LISBON
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_06_07_archive.html Photos
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_06_21_archive.html Diary/photos

GRANGE-OVER-SANDS (No diary, but plenty of photos!)
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_09_06_archive.html
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_09_20_archive.html

DARTMOUTH (No diary, but plenty of photos!)
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_10_11_archive.html

LYON
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_11_15_archive.html

What follows is a list of the projects that I worked on during 2015 which will hopefully be out soon... I'm at different stages with each of these - some may not even be completely finished until 2017, let alone next year... That said, the first of them will be published in January - but I have been busy on it since 2014; it takes time to get these script-books polished, you know.

SHY YETI'S WORKS IN PROGRESS OF 2015...

HOT STUFF!! - SEASON 1

This will be the first project to be released in 2016. It was ready by early December 2015, but I didn't really want it coming out around Christmas - it's nice to release a new project at a start of a new year, even though I've been working on this one since 2014. There will be more posts about this project over the next few weeks and I posted a prologue to the first season a couple of weeks back as one of this year's Christmas stories:

http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2015_12_13_archive.html

KENSINGTON GORE - SEASON 1

I'm not too far from completing this one - the second of the two spin-off series from THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, I have about 40 pages left to proof. It's set in an area of London near The Royal Albert Hall and features Katrina, Warren and Lucy from BEAST becoming involved in a number of sinister supernatural shenanigans related to a block of expensive apartments that they are managing. There will be more about this once I'm closer to publishing it, but I'm hoping that this will be by April at the latest.

A YETI WAY OF THINKING

I've been working on this collection of my short stories and poems since 2012, but it's been on the back-burner whilst I worked on the 10th anniversary re-releases of my earlier poetry collections. Now those are all re-published I am aiming to get this collection completed by the summer - hopefully around the time that I make my return to The Poetry Café.

BEAST OF FRIENDS - THE MOVIE

I began work on this in autumn 2014 - but didn't want to release it until a year or so after the 4th season of BEAST was published; it's a slightly longer script-book than the previous seasons - but I would like to release it towards the end of 2016, but we shall see. It's a "missing" story in the canon of BEAST scripts - set in Venice one New Years Eve where a killer is murdering wealthy business-yeti who are attending an exhibition of pies.

I am currently working on proofing the 2nd and 3rd seasons of HOT STUFF!! - whilst writing the 4th season, meanwhile I am proofing season 2 and writing season 3 of KENSINGTON GORE... Whether the second seasons of both get released during 2016 depends on how long it takes to get them ready, but it would be nice to release them if I can.

2016 sees the 10th anniversary of my POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL poetry collection, but I'm not sure whether it needs updating as it was the first of my books to be especially designed for Lulu.com. It might be nice to do something to mark the anniversary, but I may do that by doing a special show at The Poetry Cafe; I haven't thought that far ahead yet.

I've also been working for some time on two Mouse Of Commons projects - but they probably won't see the light of day in 2016. The first of these, THREE TALES ARE BETTER THAN ONE is a collection of short stories and might be out by late 2016 - failing that it'll be 2017. The second project is a novel that follows on from the last Mouse novel - but I doubt that will be ready for another 18 months or so as it is low on my list of priorities.

Next time I'll be celebrating the new year by telling you something about the characters and stories involved in the first season of HOT STUFF!!, which is due out in the middle of January.

More soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

This post and all content is Copyright Paul Chandler 2015.

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

JUST SO YOU KNOW...

THE NEXT POETRY CAFE SHOW IS ONLY DAYS AWAY...

Hello beasties!

Just a quick post about the next Poetry Show at The Poetry Cafe, London.

Do come along if you can! Entrance is free - although you're welcome to donate as it costs us to hire the venue. There will also be the opportunity for other poets to read open-mike. Just speak to me when you arrive.

Hope to see you soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED...

IS OUT... AGAIN, AFTER ALMOST TEN YEARS!!

Hello beasties,

Today I have released a new edition of my 6th poetry collection. It was first published in 2004 - so this is the 10th anniversary, although originally it was published a little later in the year. My 6th, 7th and 8th collections all came out over a period of a year - so I wanted to stagger the re-releases a little.

LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED, published in 2004, was Paul’s sixth self-published collection and his fifth to include completely contemporary compositions. Even back then he was writing his daft yeti verse, but until now LOVESONGS has only been available alongside its sister volume THE AUTUMNAL E.P. (re-issued in autumn 2013), so this is the first time it has stood alone. This 10th anniversary edition contains photos and facts about the book and many of these poems Paul still regularly performs today, CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND, CUDDLE HIM, DANCEFLOOR SLAUGHTER, FLAUNT TRADITION, GRANNY ETHEL KEEPS THEM DECENT, JEALOUSY DID HIM NO GOOD, THE SMALL PRINT and WICKED SANTA, but many that he doesn’t! At least not yet… So, sit back and enjoy!!

Paperback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/lovesongs-for-the-bitter-and-twisted/paperback/product-21573107.html

Hardback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/lovesongs-for-the-bitter-and-twisted/hardcover/product-21578787.html

There's a piece from this collection at the end of this post called DEATH ON AN EMPTY STOMACH...

Tonight I have a gig, so I may not post until the following week after the Easter holiday.

More soon!

Yeti hugs.

Paul xx

DEATH ON AN EMPTY STOMACH…

Death on an empty stomach’s –

Not a recommended choice!

Not something bound to make me…

Jump around nor sing “Rejoice!!”

I reckon t’would be painful…

Empty tum – switched down on LOW!

Death on an empty stomach –

Don’t sound good to me, you know…

A gurgling of belly –

Might just throw the Reaper’s stroke….

He might slip and strike a Kitty –

Newly born and just awoke!

How’d you feel if you were blame-ed –

For such tragic feline end of days?

Simply ‘coz you’d missed your dinner…

That’s why a diet never pays!

Death on an empty stomach –

Well, it won’t amount to bliss!

If you find your standards slipping –

Well then – just consider this…

Don’t you reckon t’would be rotten…

To be requiring one last snack!

Yes, death on an empty stomach –

Leaves you open to attack!

A croaking in your belly –

Might just knock Death’s blow aside!

Which could set a nun on fire –

Causing cars to swerve – collide!

Make all clowns bereft of humour!

Moby Dick to sink and drown!

Leaves may fall from off the trees tops –

In mid-summer – shrivelled brown…

Death on an empty stomach –

Only leads to feeling “off”!

So, DO persevere with eating –

Please chow down and really scoff!

That way you’re gonna feel much better;

Having quit that pointless fast!

Death on an empty stomach!

Fill up now – your life has past…

A grumble in your belly –

Could well spoil the Reaper’s plans!

So tuck in without any conscience –

On the pies and beer and flans!

Death on a silent stomach –

Ensures that nothing will go wrong!

On the day you meet your maker…

When dear old Death she comes along!

This post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2014.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

ANOTHER NEW STORY FOR 2014...

YETI EXCLUSIVE, "A PERFECT CASE FOR CHARITY..."

Hello beasties!

Just a short post this week, but I do have another new story for you...

Before I move on to the story I have a few titles of poems that I've been working on for the new collection, although goodness knows which ones will be completed in time to go into the book.

Poem titles include:

INCORRIGABLY ENCOURAGABLE
FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH
ALIEN TO ME
EVERYDAY IS A TIME OF YOUR LIFE
LOVED FOR WHAT YOU'RE NOT
GLAM-ROCK VAMPIRE, 1974
TOO TIRED FOR AN AFFAIR
BEACH-COMBER
THE ANSWER'S NO
THE BEST MAN IS NOT ALWAYS THE GROOM
I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL
AM I STILL A VEGETARIAN IF I ONLY EAT VEGANS
THE BOY WHO CRIED PWOAR
EGG FRIED MICE
WE'RE NOT GETTING ON (NO MORE)
EVEN ANGELS POO
I WOKE UP SMILING
BAD TORO
SONGS TO MAKE MUM'S DANCE
THE GORGEOUS DEAD
DIFFERENT TYPES OF DINOSAUR
KISSER FISH
OLD HAUNTS
THEY FOUND OUR YETI
THIS VALENTINE'S DAY
THE UNHAPPY HEART
A WALRUS, NOT A VAMPIRE
KNUCKLEHEAD, NUMBSKULL...
GAME PLAN

WHEN THE SINGER LOST HER SONG

...and many, many, more...

Lastly, before we move on to that may I just remind you that my new book, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, is out and available to purchase. I'll share some more pieces from that in a week or so...

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS contains over 70 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between January and September 2012. They include: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, DRUNK ELK, ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, EVIL IVY, MINE OWN MINOTAUR, ONCE I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY, A YETI IN A HAT and many more… NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is 288 pages long and contains photos by Paul Chandler and artwork by Adam M Botsford, Paul Webster and Pete Katsiaounis.

Paperback: www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/not-as-shy-as-i-was/14135195 £9.99

Hardback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/not-as-shy-as-i-was/hardcover/product-21317217.html £15.99

Next week I'll be looking at some of the pieces that are already written for the new collection and then looking back at a piece from my new NOT AS SHY AS I WAS collection...

More soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

A PERFECT CASE FOR CHARITY

Kastra and her husband were very well off. They liked people to know it too and lived in a large house in Surrey.

Their motto was not to give away any of their wealth - to keep it, invest it - but most definitely not to give it away to charity.

The young couple on her doorstep now were asking for exactly that. They had only just that minute arrived, wrapped up in their winter wear; thick coats, scarves and gloves. They didn't look like locals. Why did such people choose the coldest day of the year to turn up? Kastra was cross with herself for even opening the door - for letting the heat escape. She should have ignored them, but she'd thought she had heard a noise on the drive; a car engine - but when she'd looked there had been no car.

"Donations for charity, maam..." enquired the gent, holding out a leaflet which Kastra resolutely ignored. "Donations for charity, Madame..." the man insisted.

"It's all for a good cause!" added the lady, but that was all she had to add for now, presumably the details were in the flier that she was being offered.

"No, thank you... We don't donate!" Kastra replied sternly, if she and her husband had actually owned dogs then she would most definitely have set the hounds on this scruffy looking pair. Kastra didn't like the look of them at all, but couldn't quite pin-point why. "I'm sorry..." she added. "We did have a few bits and pieces but we gave them to the local scout group for their autumn fayre only a couple of weeks ago... There's really nothing left!"

"Are you sure?" The two said in unison, they didn't look at all convinced; how dare they?

"Quite sure!" Kastra snapped, trying not to appear as furious as she felt. Who were these two to judge? She watched them peering past her in through the front door - admiring the antiques in the hallway. These items were worth little, but they should see the rest of the house; it was full of valuable things... Not that it was any of their business - not that she planned on showing them the contents of the house.

"We're sorry to have bothered you..." replied the man. "Very sorry indeed..."

The woman, however, said nothing, Kastra noted. How rude not to echo her companion's apology, but she said nothing.

Nothing... The woman *said* not a word, however she did seem to be making a noise...

She appeared to be purring.

It was only now that Kastra peered closer that she realised what it was that had disturbed her when they'd first been introduced. She'd mistaken their clothes as coats and hats and scarves but now she saw them properly for what they were.

Fur. For they were cats. Human cats - and the noise that came from the lady was purring...

Kastra raised her hand to her forehead. She was feeling dizzy. It was as if... The purring noise was really quite hypnotic.

"Donations for charity, maam..." mewed the gent, holding out his paw to steady her.

"It's all for a good cause..." added the feline female, taking a breath from purring to speak.

Kastra nodded. "Errr... Yes... Yes, of course..." she corrected herself. "We have plenty of junk that we probably don't need... When I say junk it's good condition - it's just cluttering up our home..."

"My! How wonderful!" beamed the man. "This is Suki, my name is Tiddles..."

"Delightful!" enthused Kastra, much against her better nature. "Come and take a look inside. Do you need help? I can always get my car out..."

"I'm surrrrrre that won't be necessary...Will it Tiddles?" replied Suki as they stepped indoors.

"No, no... We can manage..." beamed her companion. "There should be plenty of nice things here... Yes, indeed, this will be just purrrrrrrfect... Puuuurrrrrrfect! Really purrrrrrfect!"

Kastra nodded, she felt half asleep, but ever the hostess her natural good breeding kicked in. "Anyone for tea?" she enquired.

Suki was busy examining a stray Gainsborough, but Tiddles heard. "Tea... Of course... That would be splendid... Do run along and see to it, won't you?"

"Excellent..." Kastra nodded and even though deep down she knew things were far from normal she echoed Tiddles' words, muttering them to herself as she hurried off towards the kitchen. "Perfect...Perfect... Really perfect..."

...And she sincerely hoped that they'd soon find something "perfect" for their charity collection...

This post and all content are Copyright Paul Chandler 2014.

Friday, January 24, 2014

2014 BOOK TITLE CHOSEN!!!

A YETI WAY OF THINKING...

Hello beasties...

This week we're going to be looking forward to my next collection, although I don't expect it to be available until late Summer at the earliest as there are still a number of pieces to be written before I move on to the formatting and proofing which always takes an age...

After much thinking about the tone of the collection, I decided that of the three potential titles that I had - A YETI WAY OF THINKING... most fitted the diverse range of poems and stories in the next book... The other titles, GRANNY STOLE MY AFTER-BIRTH and BORN WITHOUT A FUNNYBONE are still poems within the collection - so they still get their moment.

Later in this post I'm including the newest piece that I've written, so far, for the new collection - it is also the second story that I have completed this year; I shall be sharing the first piece in a week or two.

Before we move on, here is a list of the titles of the pieces included in A YETI WAY OF THINKING as of Friday 24th January 2014.

A YETI WAY OF THINKING

ALL A BIT NUTS...

ARE THEY AWARE I’M A WEREWOLF?
AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG...
THE BALLAD OF BURT AND GRIS...
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE...
BORN WITHOUT A FUNNY BONE...
CEDRIC THE CEREAL KILLER...
CHECK UP, CHECK OUT...
CREATIVELY PROMISCUOUS...
A CULT FOLLOWING
DO YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH ME?
THE DREADED LURGY
EIGHT SUPER LITTLE PILLS
ENOUGH OF YOUR SAUCE...
THE FLIRT
GERIATRIC MERMAID
GIN GOBLINS...
GRANNY ATE MY AFTER-BIRTH...
HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART
A HAPPY YETI HOWL...
A HARMLESS PRANK...
HIS CHRISTMAS CARDS...
THE ICE IN MY GLASS...
INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS...
INFORMATION IS A WONDERFUL THING
IN MEMORY OF...
IT ONLY TAKES A MOUSE TO SNEEZE
IT’S NOT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE...
I USED TO BE A TEN...
JUST ONE DAY (BEING YOU)...
MAKE ALL APPLAUSE COUNT...
MAN, MANHANDLED
THE MORNING AFTER HALLOWEEN
MY BACON-FLAVOURED BABY...
MY NEW YEAR HANGOVER...
MYSTERY HEN
THE ONE...
ONE LAST NIGHT
ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH LOVE
ONION MAN
A PERFECT CASE FOR CHARITY
PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS
POLLEN SEASON
RUNNING ON EMPTY
SANDY FROM THE FUTURE...
SASSY MISS SASQUATCH...
SCABBY DONKEY
THE SEX LIVES OF (EVIL) WITCHES
SHORT-SLEEVED BEE SUIT
A SPIDER IN THE BATH...
SUICIDAL PIGEON...
TALKING WITH ANIMALS
TEN INCHES
TINSEL…
TWO VAMPIRE HUNTING YETI...
UNTIL THE COWS ALL COME HOME...
WE’RE ALL STARS TODAY...
A YETI WAY OF THINKING...
YOU’RE DEAD TO ME...
YOU CAN’T TRUST A MAN WITH A BEARD...
YOU’LL DO...
YOUR NIGHTMARES...
ZOMBIE TAXI-DRIVER

That makes 63 submissions, so far - with only another dozen or so to go. I'm not sure quite when to cut off the writing yet - we'll just see how it goes for now...

Moving on to the new story that I promised you, it was written a few days ago. It was slightly inspired by the leaving speech of a colleague of mine who at his own leaving do couldn't help but add further examples of his achievements after our boss had already stoked his ego in his own speech.

Next week I may have something else new for you, but we shall see. I may change my mind by then!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

IN MEMORY OF...

There was a hush in the church as he started to speak. At least one member of the congregation was crying, but he continued.

"We are here today in memory of Michael Simmons..." he did not allow his voice to waver - there was much to say and say it he must without being overwhelmed by the emotion of the moment. "Michael Simmons was a good man... A phrase often used by those who met him; it's the sort of thing that is said about many people, but in Michael's case it was true. Michael Simmons was a good man – a great man! But not just that... So many things could be said about Michael – each and every one of them on their own sounds impressive; so the fact that they are all achievements by the same man really does show you what a trail-blazer Michael was... Let us begin with the small things... For instance, his taste in clothing was exemplary... His taste in literature, in music – in the cars that he drove – the houses that he owned – in the women that he married. Always the very best. Not only that – but he was handsome too, some might even say sexy. There is no doubt in the minds of this congregation that Michael was taken from us too soon – his death deprives the world of a clever man – a genius. He was a good husband, a magnificent father and an expert at Mahjong. Not only this but Michael Simmons was an expert – in so many areas, but especially in his first love... Whisky – what Michael didn't know about single malt is not worth knowing. Michael was a gentle man – he was a calming presence to be around – even angry dogs were known to wag their tails upon seeing him..."

He was about to say more when he was pleased to note that the sound of crying from the congregation had increased, not only that but the vicar was looking uncomfortable and kept coughing nervously as if attempting to indicate that it was almost time for him to finish. All the same, there were one or two other things to say.

"So... To conclude... Michael Simmons was the sort of man that everybody wanted to be... Not only a good friend, but a generous one too... Over the years he gave thousands of pounds to charity... Thanks to him Surrey has three new golf courses – golf courses that Michael himself lived to play on and enjoy... He was also a good son; although he rarely saw his mother in her later years due to his asphyxiating allergy to her pet cats... The tragic irony being that those cats were a gift from him for her sixtieth birthday! Such a shame! However, all in all he was an inspiration to the whole community - business man, sportsman, tap-dancer, heretic... Michael Simmons... Rest In Peace!"

As he stepped away from the microphone the vicar looked up indignantly. "Thank you, Michael..." he sighed wearily. "Now if you'd like to get back into the coffin you ARE meant to be dead..."

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2014.

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

2014 IS HERE!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Hello beasties!

It's 2014 - a new year!! The 12th year of this blog...

This week will be another short post - as I didn't do a great deal over the Christmas break. I spent Christmas itself in central London and then returned to Salisbury, Weymouth and Swanage with Paul H and Toby W between Christmas and the early days of New Year. That said, although I did return to Dorset I didn't film another Shy Yeti poetry episode as the weather was so atrocious that I simply wasn't in the mood. I did take photos, swim and collected together 4 short story ideas.

What I will be announcing this week are the four dates for my Poetry Café shows this year which have only just been confirmed. Before I do so, may I just remind you that my new book, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, is out and available to purchase. I'll maybe share some new pieces from that in the New Year, although you may find a number of the pieces familiar from either the blog or from my yeti films...

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS contains over 70 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between January and September 2012. They include: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, DRUNK ELK, ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, EVIL IVY, MINE OWN MINOTAUR, ONCE I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY, A YETI IN A HAT and many more… NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is 288 pages long and contains photos by Paul Chandler and artwork by Adam M Botsford, Paul Webster and Pete Katsiaounis.

Paperback: www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/not-as-shy-as-i-was/14135195 £9.99

Hardback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/not-as-shy-as-i-was/hardcover/product-21317217.html £15.99

Here are are the Poetry Cafe gig dates!!

SHY YETI GIGS DURING 2014...

Wednesday 16^th April

Friday 18^th July

Wednesday 17^th September

Friday 31^st October

I'm especially excited about the Halloween date!! I may have to dress up as a witch or something!!

Of course, should you be doing your own poetry show during the year and require my services, then I am always contactable on Facebook, Twitter or at pcbeeches@hotmail.com

Next time I'll have some more news about what's coming up during the early months of 2014...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

This post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2014.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

SHY YETI'S LAST SHOW OF 2013...

...AND A BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY... TO ME!!

Hello beasties,

This week I'm blowing my own trumpet slightly - but then why not! I did just publish a new book AND recently celebrate my 40th birthday. So if I can't get blowing now, then when can I?

A new book, you say? Tell me more... Okay then!! Here's all you need to know!

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS contains over 70 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between January and September 2012. They include: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, DRUNK ELK, ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, EVIL IVY, MINE OWN MINOTAUR, ONCE I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY, A YETI IN A HAT and many more… NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is 288 pages long and contains photos by Paul Chandler and artwork by Adam M Botsford, Paul Webster and Pete Katsiaounis.

Paperback: www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/not-as-shy-as-i-was/14135195 £9.99

Hardback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/not-as-shy-as-i-was/hardcover/product-21317217.html £15.99

Now it's time to tell you all about last week's show!

EVEN YETI TURN 40

POETRY CAFE, FRIDAY 29TH NOVEMBER 2013

Originally the night was meant to be more of a birthday party for my 40th than a show - but because we ended up with more audience for the poems than people for my party I was very pleased to be able to make it a full-scale show. Sadly John Smallshaw was unable to make the night and another guest, Sally, who performed with us last year was a no-show; however we ended up with two other poets on the night - Liam and Victoria. A nice surprise, indeed!

FIRST HALF

BEE-SOTTED

NATIONAL TREASURE

SHAVING WEREWOLVES

AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG

YOU'LL DO

INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS

TEN INCHES

MYSTERY HEN

(LIAM)

PSYCHOSIS GIRL

JEALOUSY DID HIM NO GOOD

FLAUNT TRADITION

WE'RE ALL STARS TODAY

THE SEX LIVES OF (EVIL) WITCHES

I USED TO BE A TEN...

SECOND HALF

AS OLD AS YOU FEEL (40)

BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD

DISCO YETI

HOPELESS ROMANTIC

I SHOULD NEVER

I WILL EAT PIES

LAS VEGAS LIPS

A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

LITTLE PIG

OH, FLORENCE!!

READY-TEDDY-GO

THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR

TAKEN

THE TRUE LIGHT

YOUR APRIL FOOL

(LIAM)

(VICTORIA)

ALTERNATIVE ROCK N ROLL LIFESTYLE

ASK NICELY

A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS

GRANDPA'S WIG

IF SHAKESPEARE WERE AROUND TODAY

JOHN, I'M ONLY RHYMING

KISS ME QUICK

MY LONG LOST FRIEND

THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS

FROM WHERE I STAND

I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY

SOMETHING'S UP WITH ROCKY LOBSTER

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS...

FULL DETAILS

FIRST HALF

BEE-SOTTED

NATIONAL TREASURE

SHAVING WEREWOLVES

The first three pieces of the evening were from the new collection, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS...

AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG

YOU'LL DO

INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS

TEN INCHES

MYSTERY HEN

These five were all new pieces from the as-yet-untitled 2014 collection, most of them making their debuts...

(LIAM)

PSYCHOSIS GIRL

JEALOUSY DID HIM NO GOOD

FLAUNT TRADITION

These three pieces were from next year's 10th anniversary edition of LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED...

WE'RE ALL STARS TODAY

THE SEX LIVES OF (EVIL) WITCHES

I USED TO BE A TEN...

The final three pieces of the first half were also quite newly written poems that were making their debut, these are due to appear in my 2014 collection... When I came to read WE'RE ALL STARS TODAY I realised that the first two verses were shorter than the third and so have since completed that one! Ooops!

SECOND HALF

The next batch of poems were all from my 2009 compilation, SHY YETI RULES OKAY...

AS OLD AS YOU FEEL (40)

originally from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE (2003)

BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD

originally from JUNK/FOOD (2001)

DISCO YETI

originally from RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR (2007)

HOPELESS ROMANTIC

originally from POETIQUETTE (2005)

I SHOULD NEVER

originally from JUNK/FOOD (2001)

I WILL EAT PIES

originally from RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR (2007)

LAS VEGAS LIPS

originally from POEMS TO MAKES BEARS GROWL (2006)

A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

originally from ROLLERCOASTER (2002)

LITTLE PIG

originally from SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008)

OH, FLORENCE!!

originally from THIRD TIME LUCKY (2002)

READY-TEDDY-GO

originally from JUNK/FOOD (2001)

THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR

originally from JUNK/FOOD (2001)

TAKEN

originally from THIRD TIME LUCKY (2002)

THE TRUE LIGHT

originally from JUNK/FOOD (2001)

YOUR APRIL FOOL

originally from RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR (2007)

(LIAM)

(VICTORIA)

The next nine poems were all from last year's SHY YETI STILL RULES OKAY compilation.

ALTERNATIVE ROCK N ROLL LIFESTYLE

originally from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE (2011)

ASK NICELY

originally from DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? (2010)

A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS

originally from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)

GRANDPA'S WIG

originally from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)

IF SHAKESPEARE WERE AROUND TODAY

originally from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)

JOHN, I'M ONLY RHYMING

originally from ARE WE THERE, YETI!? (2013)

KISS ME QUICK

originally from THE SHY LIFE (2009)

MY LONG LOST FRIEND

originally from ARE WE THERE, YETI!? (2013)

THE TRUE EXTENT OF MY GENIUS

originally from FUNERAL FOR A SHOE (2011)

The final four poems of the evening were from the newly released NOT AS SHY AS I WAS... These four have all been read before during previous shows, but they got another airing for my birthday!!

FROM WHERE I STAND

I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY

SOMETHING'S UP WITH ROCKY LOBSTER

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS...

That was it! Thanks to all who came along - especially to Maggie, Harry, Dan, Calum and Glyn - and also to Liam and Victoria for performing at short notice on the night.

There will be more shows in 2014 - to be announced early in the new year.

Next week I'll be sharing some photos and stories with you from my recent trips to Italy and France...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

This Post and All Contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013

SHY YETI'S SHY PLACE...

Sunday, December 27, 2015

GOODBYE 2015!! HELLO 2016!!

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

JUST SO YOU KNOW...

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED...

Thursday, January 30, 2014

ANOTHER NEW STORY FOR 2014...

Friday, January 24, 2014

2014 BOOK TITLE CHOSEN!!!

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

2014 IS HERE!!

Thursday, December 05, 2013

SHY YETI'S LAST SHOW OF 2013...

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