THE MUGSHOT SHOW!!

BACK AT THE POETRY CAFE...

Hello beasties!!

This time I'm going to be looking back at last Wednesday's show at The Poetry Café. Sadly Mr Smallshaw was unable to make the evening due to family commitments - but don't worry, he's fine and should be back with us for our show at the end of October. We did, however, have a number of open-mike readers and various friends, partners and passersby - which made it the busiest Shy Yeti show so far this year. Let's get started and I'll share with you all of the details.

I AM SICK (BUT DO I WANNA BE CURED)

NATIONAL TREASURE

THE CROCODILE

GRANDPA’S WIG

IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY?

KISS ME QUICK

LAID

PEACE OF MIND IN A TEABAG

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE DON’T LOOK DOWN ON ME…

INGRID BERGMAN’S NOSE

IN TALKS WITH THE CAT

KEEP ON GETTING IT WRONG

SWEPT OFF MY FEET

MY LIFE IS A MUSICAL

THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU

BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD

THE GREAT BOOKSHOP IN THE SKY

A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

LITTLE PIG

I WILL EAT PIES

IN A LITTLE MORE DETAIL...

I AM SICK (BUT DO I WANNA BE CURED)

NATIONAL TREASURE
FROM: NOT AS SHY AS I WAS (2013)

I'm busy working on my YETI WAY OF THINKING collection, but as this evening was meant to be more about the poems from MUGSHOTS, I decided not to read anything from the new collection; we can get to that next year once it's released. The first two pieces that I read that evening were both from last year's NOT AS SHY AS I WAS - two of my favourites which I have also recorded videos for (under the MRSHYYETI profile).

THE CROCODILE (DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS, 2010)

GRANDPA’S WIG (THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, 2011)
IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY? (ARE WE THERE, YETI?, 2013)
KISS ME QUICK (THE SHY LIFE, 2009)
LAID (THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, 2011)
PEACE OF MIND IN A TEABAG (VAMPIRE COWS..., 2011
COLLECTED IN: SHY YETI STILL RULES OKAY… (2012)

The next batch of poems came from a number of different collections, although what links them is that they were all included in 2012's SHY YETI STILL RULES OKAY. GRANDPA'S WIG and LAID are both 100-word stories, THE CROCODILE was written sometime ago inspired by then boss's boss, whilst IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY? seemed topical and PEACE OF MIND hasn't had an airing in a while.

OPEN-MIKE

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE... (POETIQUETTE, 2005)

Following the performance of our first open-miker I read this verse from POETIQUETTE that I had revisited for the first time in years just that week. I enjoyed performing it - but I'd like to do more with it at some stage.

INGRID BERGMAN’S NOSE

IN TALKS WITH THE CAT
KEEP ON GETTING IT WRONG
SWEPT OFF MY FEET
FROM: MUGSHOTS (2005)

These four poems were all from MUGSHOTS, the first and third pieces I had read before - the other two received their debut on the night.

OPEN-MIKE

MY LIFE IS A MUSICAL
THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU

FROM: SHY YETI’S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION (2008)

Following another open-mike interval I returned to read two poems from my 2008 collection. I've read both before, but not in a while. A version of MY LIFE IS A MUSICAL can be heard at: 
http://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/my-life-is-a-musical

OPEN MIKE // BRIEF BREAK // OPEN-MIKE

BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD (JUNK/FOOD, 2002)
THE GREAT BOOKSHOP IN THE SKY (CAVEMAN LOGIC, 2009)
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE (ROLLERCOASTER, 2003)
LITTLE PIG (SHY YETI’S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION, 2008)
I WILL EAT PIES (RHYMES BEAR STEAL PIES FOR, 2007)

COLLECTED IN: SHY YETI RULES OKAY (2009)

Another open-miker, a brief break, another open-miker and then I was into my final run of poems for the night; a slightly shorter show due to John's absence. The last five poems were all from different collections, but all of them were also brought together for my SHY YETI RULES OKAY compilation in 2009.

Thanks to everybody who showed up, especially Calum and Ian Green (who I'd not seen in about 20 years, despite staying in touch). Thank you also to all the open-mikers who read, apologies for not crediting you, but you didn't announce your names before performing and I didn't get a chance to ask.

Here are a few photos from the night...

The next show is on Halloween... Friday 31st October 2014 when John Smallshaw will be back!

Next time, we have a recent interview that I did with THE BEARGRRRIAN GAZETTE about what I've been up to writing-wise...

More soon! Yeti hugs, Paul xx




This post and all contents are copyright Paul Chandler, 2014.

THE NEXT TWO SHOWS...

SHY YETI AND JOHN SMALLSHAW -

BACK AT THE POETRY CAFE

This Post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2014

BEASTLY NEWS BEASTIES!!

ONE NEW BOOK - ANOTHER ONE ON IT'S WAY!


Hello beasties!

I've some exciting news - although it's not of a poetic nature. I will return to discussions of poetry as I am still busy working on the final version of A YETI WAY OF THINKING - but I'd like to discuss another project first; we'll get to poetry in a minute...

I am very pleased to be able to announce the release of the second series of THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - here's a bit more information:

THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - SERIES TWO is the second series of eight radio scripts concerning a number of curious characters; an amphibian journalist known as Horner, a witch called Katrina, Clive - a robotic clock, Cromitty – a voodoo doll, a werewolf named Colin and a fellow named Warren who had a very strange upbringing! This series, written between 2012 and 2014 continues to explore their adventures - all under one roof!

Paperback Edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-beast-of-friends---series-two/14731202 £6.99

Hardback Edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/the-beast-of-friends---series-2/15097921 £9.99

To be fair there is at least one poem contained in this book - not to mention a cameo by Shy Yeti himself... Or at least a version of him/me! In case you need any further encouragement here's a bit more about each of the stories...

SCRIPT 1: AUDITIONING HOUSE-MATES…

This episode sees Horner returning from his “Skin-Time” only to find that the tenants have been sub-letting his room to a wood-louse named Oliver.

SCRIPT 2: THE BIG BIRTHDAY…

Colin reaches a very important birthday and treats the housemates to a trip to Paris – which doesn’t go too well when they bump into Warren’s weird family out there.

SCRIPT 3: THE EVEN BIGGER BIRTHDAY…

Clive falls in love with a dust cart, Katrina steals The Eiffel Tower just to show off and Horner helps Warren pull the wool over his mother’s eyes!

SCRIPT 4: ZOMBIE TAXI-DRIVER FROM HULL…

Horner encounters a zombie who has just taken a new job as a taxi-driver. It turns out that he intends to eat his customers to gain “the knowledge” to do his job better!

SCRIPT 5: MICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT!

Oliver asks Horner to help out at a conference run by The Mouse of Commons and Lords – although Horner gets crossed wires about what he is required to do!

SCRIPT 6: INSPIRATION FOR A YETI...

Cromitty has sub-let his room to a play-writing yeti that is using their lives as a template for his new play about squalor and scandal in middle-class suburbia…

SCRIPT 7: MINI MYTHICAL BEASTS...

Katrina buys some mini mythical beasts from a jumble sale - they escape around the house and cause all manner of problems to the residents...

SCRIPT 8: THE BEAST MAN IS NOT THE GROOM

Clive and Cromitty have moved out of the house to form a comedy double-act. Meanwhile, Horner is about to get married to a toad that he met on the internet who he claims is actually a princess, but Warren suspects that something is very wrong!

I'd like to remind you that you can still get copies of Series 1 from the following links and I can confirm that both Series 3 and the final Series 4 are already in the can - as good as complete; being busily polished by Junior Yeti even as I type.

Paperback edition: http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/the-beast-of-friends-series-one/paperback/product-20275760.html 112 Pages / £5.99

Hardback edition: http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/the-beast-of-friends-series-one/hardcover/product-21186706.html 112 Pages / £11.99

Anyway - enough about beasts and onto poetry proper...

I'd also like the unveil the finished line-up of my next collection, although I doubt if it'll be out before early-mid 2015 at the moment as I'm not progressing very quickly with the formatting side of the project and need to weed down some of the "Behind The Scene" moments first featured here on my blog covering the almost two years that I was working on material for this collection. What I can confirm is that there are 82 new poems, stories or prose pieces contained within the collection - here are the titles.

A YETI WAY OF THINKING...

ALL A BIT NUTS...
ALMOST GONE...
THE ANSWER’S NO...
ARE THEY AWARE I’M A WEREWOLF?                   
AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG
BADGER
THE BALLAD OF BURT AND GRIS...
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE...
BORN WITHOUT A FUNNY BONE...
CEDRIC THE CEREAL KILLER...
CHECK UP, CHECK OUT...
CREATIVELY PROMISCUOUS...
A CULT FOLLOWING
DO YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH ME?
THE DREADED LURGY
EIGHT SUPER LITTLE PILLS
ENOUGH OF YOUR SAUCE...
THE FLIRT
FRIDAY THE 13^TH (MY FAVOURITE DAY)...
GAME PLAN...
GERIATRIC MERMAID
GIN GOBLINS...
THE GORGEOUS DEAD...
GRANNY ATE MY AFTER-BIRTH...
HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART... 
A HAPPY YETI HOWL... 
A HARMLESS PRANK... 
HIS CHRISTMAS CARDS...
THE ICE IN MY GLASS... 
AN IDEAL WORLD... 
AN IDIOT IN LOVE...
IF ONLY... 
INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS...
INFORMATION IS A WONDERFUL THING
IN MEMORY OF...
IN PLACE OF A HEART...
IT ONLY TAKES A MOUSE TO SNEEZE
IT’S NOT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE...
I USED TO BE A TEN
JUST ONE DAY (BEING YOU)... 
KOFFIE HUIS DE HOEK... 
THE LOCH NESS HAMSTER... 
LOVED FOR WHAT YOU’RE NOT...
MAKE ALL APPLAUSE COUNT...
MAN, MANHANDLED
THE MORNING AFTER HALLOWEEN
MY BACON-FLAVOURED BABY... 
MY NEW YEAR HANGOVER... 
MYSTERY HEN
THE ONE...
ONE LAST NIGHT
ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH LOVE
ONION MAN
A PERFECT CASE FOR CHARITY
PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS
POLLEN SEASON
RUNNING ON EMPTY
SANDY FROM THE FUTURE...
SASSY MISS SASQUATCH...
THE SAVAGES OF WESTMINSTER...
SCABBY DONKEY
THE SEX LIVES OF (EVIL) WITCHES...
SHORT-SLEEVED BEE SUIT
SOMETIMES A HUG IS ENOUGH...
SPACE-CAKES 
A SPIDER IN THE BATH...
THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS (A FLIGHT OF FANCY)...
SUICIDAL PIGEON...
TALKING WITH ANIMALS
TEN INCHES
TINSEL…
TWO VAMPIRE HUNTING YETI...
UNTIL THE COWS ALL COME HOME...
WE’RE ALL STARS TODAY...
WHEN THE SINGER LOST HER SONG...
A YETI WAY OF THINKING...
YOU’RE DEAD TO ME...
YOU CAN’T TRUST A MAN WITH A BEARD...
YOU’LL DO...
YOUR NIGHTMARES...
ZOMBIE SQUIRRELS IN MY GARDEN
ZOMBIE TAXI-DRIVER

So there you go... That's it for now! Next time I'll probably be updating you on how my next live show went. Just in case you've forgotten the next Shy Yeti And John Smallshaw Show is at The Poetry Café on Wednesday 17th September 2014 at 19.30. I do hope you'll try and make it if you're free!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx



This post and all content are Copyright Paul Chandler 2014

BACK AT THE POETRY CAFE...

YETI-POETICS

Hello beasties!!

This time I'm going to be giving you a quick talking through last week's show at The Poetry Café - a week's already sped by - so hear are all the details:

 

YETI-POETICS: THE GIG - 18/07/2014

POETRY CAFE, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON

There was no real first and second half as it was so hot - so we ran through these poems and John's selections in one longer segment, lasting approximately one hour. I do not have listed the titles of John's poems (some do not have titles!) None of this show was video recorded.

PICCADILLY IS  A RUBBISH CIRCUS

BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE

THE CAFFEINE QUEEN

COLIN THE CUSTARD-EATING SPIDER

A FLEA TEA PARTY

A MONKEY'S UNCLE

MY LONG LOST FRIEND

*JOHN*

JUST ONE DAY (BEING YOU)

MYSTERY HEN

SOMETIMES A HUG IS ENOUGH

THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS

YOU'LL DO

*JOHN*

BEING COY

CAT THIEF

DISCO YETI

A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

THE TRUE LIGHT

WE WERE GOING TO BE WED...

I WILL EAT PIES

ENCORE:

JOHN, I'M  ONLY RHYMING...

IN GREATER DETAIL:

PICCADILLY IS  A RUBBISH CIRCUS

This piece was written early last year and is one which appears in my next collection, A YETI WAY OF THINKING.

BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE, THE CAFFEINE QUEEN, COLIN THE CUSTARD-EATING SPIDER, A FLEA TEA PARTY, A MONKEY'S UNCLE, MY LONG LOST FRIEND

These were all from my second compilation SHY YETI STILL RULES OKAY (2012), most of which I have read before - although A MONKEY'S UNCLE was chosen randomly by the audience, who were asked to pick a page number. BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE is still one of my favourites to read live and one that I have managed to read at that venue every year since it was written back in 2010. A text version appears at this link: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2010_03_21_archive.html and it also appears during the following MRSHYYETI video, as recorded in L.A. in 2010: http://youtu.be/JYYzcBIYS34?list=UU0-eoWU7pUumDo0WEUFzJCQ

*JOHN SMALLSHAW READS FOR 5-10 MINUTES*

JUST ONE DAY (BEING YOU), MYSTERY HEN, SOMETIMES A HUG IS ENOUGH, THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS, YOU'LL DO

The next five poems were from A YETI WAY OF THINKING and are ones that I have read before at shows over the last year or so, although THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS is a short story that made it's debut on the night. You can read more about what inspired these poems in the new collection, when it emerges later this year. A text version of YOU'LL DO can be found at: http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2013_10_20_archive.html

*JOHN SMALLSHAW READS FOR 5-10 MINUTES*
 

BEING COY, CAT THIEF, DISCO YETI, A LEARNING EXPERIENCE, THE TRUE LIGHT, WE WERE GOING TO BE WED..., I WILL EAT PIES

The final section of poems were from SHY YETI RULES OKAY (2009) and have all been performed at The Poetry Cafe previously, at some stage - although this is the first time in 2014 for A LEARNING EXPERIENCE and THE TRUE LIGHT. It is three years next month that I read many of these poems at The Cobalt Café in L.A. - when A LEARNING EXPERIENCE appeared as my "broadside" poem of the night: http://poetrysuperhighway.com/cobalt/080211.pdf  Here's a blog about what went on, with links to a video where a number of the poems above were performed:  http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2011_08_07_archive.html

ENCORE:

JOHN, I'M  ONLY RHYMING

John was keen for me to read "JOHN..." as it is partly inspired by him - so this is the poem that we finished with - another from SHY YETI STILL RULES OKAY (2012) I'm not sure I've ever done an encore! ;)

There were a number of poems that I had set aside to read, but didn't get to - most of them being new ones from the next collection and one just being a favourite: poems were - An Ideal World, The Dreaded Lurgy, Friday The 13th, A Harmless Prank, Game Plan and The Ungrateful Valentine.

Here are a few more photos from the night...

Thank you to everybody who came along and especially to John Smallshaw for reading more of his excellent poems. We're back at The Poetry Café on Wednesday 17th September 2014.

Next time I have a new piece to share with you from my trip to Amsterdam, but that's it for now!

Thank you for reading - take care!

Yeti hugs,

Paul x

This post and all content is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2014.

JUST SO YOU KNOW...

 

THE NEXT POETRY CAFE SHOW IS ONLY DAYS  AWAY...

Hello beasties!

Just a quick post about the next Poetry Show at The Poetry Cafe, London.

Do come along if you can! Entrance is free - although you're welcome to donate as it costs us to hire the venue. There will also be the opportunity for other poets to read open-mike. Just speak to me when you arrive.

Hope to see you soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

MAD IN MADRID

A FEW DAYS IN SUNNY SPAIN...

 

Hello beasties!

 

This time I'm going to share with you some photos from my recent trip to Madrid. Not only that but I have a new short piece to share that I wrote whilst out in Spain, inspired by my trip to Madrid Zoo.

Here are the photos...

There are more photos from the trip - some of them are in Instagram and I may have room for them here on a future blog, but I already have photos and something new from a recent trip to Amsterdam!

Next time, well - I think Amsterdam is where we'll be, but I won't promise anything until closer to the time... We also have that gig coming up at The Poetry Cafe on Friday 18th July. (See advert at bottom of post)

More soon - yeti hugs,

Paul xx

THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS
(A FLIGHT OF FANCY)


"Those larger birds are so stupid..." Laughed the sparrow as he and his companion regarded the ostrich strutting about its enclosure at the zoo. "We smaller birds are able to move freely about the cages whilst those supposedly mighty birds of prey - the owls, the hawks and the eagles are all imprisoned behind bars... Even this ostrich who has no roof above his head and the peacock who wanders amongst the tourists are as good as trapped here because they are unable to fly to freedom..."

"The penguin has the same problem, but it's not as simple as that - isn't it the prestige?" Replied his companion wisely. "Nobody is coming here to see us... Certainly, we could leave any time that we like and yet we stay to pick over all the morsels of food discarded by those who come to visit... Does that make us any better or worse for being here? Aren't we just as much imprisoned as those other birds?"

"Not at all!" Disagreed his friend. "What makes us different is the choice - that we may come and go and yet we use this place as a resource to keep alive... Yes, these things are scraps - but we eat scraps in garden and scraps off the street - if anything the food here is better than that. Don't start twisting my case... We are liberated and they are foolish for allowing themselves to be taken advantage of..." Silence, not a word. "Well?" Persisted the first sparrow, glancing over, keen to receive praise for his concise deductions. "Oh..." Sadly, it was to be his last flight of fancy - for all that he saw before him was a haze of bloody feathers and the hungry yellow eyes of the zoo's resident cat.

Idea for this piece: 03/06/2014 whilst visiting Madrid zoo. First draft written in art gallery in Madrid on 04/06/2014.

This piece and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2014. THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS will appear in his next collection, A YETI WAY OF THINKING.

IT'S BIRTHDAY TIME...

THIS IS OUR 300TH POST!!

Hello beasties!!

I know... I know... It's been a little while since out last post - but I've been away. This week we are celebrating our 300th post...

OH...
 

Can you believe that we've gotten there already? It's only taken 12 years!!!

It won't be our longest ever post, but it will be picturesque! I'm going to share with you a few photos from behind the scenes of my recent trip to Scotland, not to mention a new piece that I wrote during that trip.

Let's peruse the scenery, shall we?

Well, I hope you enjoyed that! Next time we'll be looking forward to photos from my recent trip to Madrid - and I have a short story to accompany that post too.



Before I depart, I'll leave you with a poem I wrote on Loch Ness on the 28th May 2014 about the Loch Ness Hamster!! There are even photos of me posing as aforementioned beasty! It's all very silly, but then nonsense is probably what I do best, after all.

More next time!

Take care... Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

THE LOCH NESS HAMSTER

The Loch Ness Hamster's -

Quite a Scot...

But is he a monster?

Well no, he's not.

He'll do his best -

To make folk flee...

But more usually -

He's full of glee...

His tail is long -

And badly knotted...

He tries to hide -

But soon is spotted!

The Loch Ness Hamster's -

Not a fright...

He's kinda puny -

Lacking might...

No, he'll not engulf you -

With his rage...

Just rides the wheel -

Within his cage...

It keeps him sane -

A calming sound...

Content to journey -

Around and round...

The Loch Ness Hamster's -

Far too clean...

He bares his teeth -

But he's not mean...

He's just too cuddly...

He's far too cute...

He doesn't snarl -

Remaining mute...

Which brings no fear -

Fails to disarm...

And yet it lends -

A certain charm...

The Loch Ness Hamster's

Much too sweet!

As beasties go -

He's not elite!

So very meek -

He's oh-so mild...

Why can't he be -

Just a little wild?

Yes, his teeth are sharp -

His back is hairy...

But no monster he -

The lad's nae scary!


THE LOCH NESS HAMSTER is Copyright Paul Chandler 2014. It will be published in his collection A YETI WAY OF THINKING, due out later this year. This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2014.