SHY YETI TAKES A BATH - AND ALSO GOES TO THE SEASIDE!!

Howdy!?!

Let's start with a link to a new episode...

SHY YETI TAKES A (TRIP TO) BATH is a new episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION, filmed mostly in the city of Bath on Friday 2nd March 2012 (but also a little bit in the village where I grew up on Saturday 3rd March!) There are 3 poems in this film, all from the 10th anniversary re-issue of my second collection, ROLLERCOASTER: PEACE TREATY, PETRIFIED and I CANNOT COMPARE THEE... There is also quite a bit of silliness; including a yeti dance! Special guest in this episode is Dominic McCauley. Camera: Paul Chandler and Dominic McCauley. Music: Luca. This film and all poems within are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2012.

This episode is just slightly over 10 minutes in length and can be viewed at the following links:

Youtube: http://youtu.be/-0czxBFjDgE

Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/39271603

This week I'm also going to tell you a little bit about what I've been filming in the last couple of weeks -share a few behind-the-scenes photos and also post a piece from my forthcoming collection, ARE WE THERE, YETI!?

Last time I filmed in Broadstairs we ended up with various terribly daft scenes for this episode:

SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY (July 2010)
http://youtu.be/FTz0BRsrCZs

I've been back at least once since, but not filmed there and I'm very much hoping to go back for a full episode in August 2012; but for now I've returned to one of the locations from SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY to film a few inserts and a new poem called A YETI IN A HAT which I hope to pair with a few bits and pieces that I filmed in the Summer of 2011 which never found a home.

This isn't the only unfinished episode still to come - the "lost" Hollywood episode I'm saving for the summer - but the other big "missing" episode still to be edited is my VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE special! I guess I'll get onto that one once I've edited whatever I film in Germany - if there's time before I head to Norfolk in late May.

The "Broadstairs and bits" episode is the episode that I have begun working on this week since completing SHY YETI TAKES A (TRIP TO) BATH and which appears to be provisionally entitled SHY YETI WELCOMES SPRING... I've also been filmed in an old haunt for this location and as of this weekend have begun work filming an episode called SHY YETI GOES WILD, but I'll come back to this with a few photos in a week or two. For now here's a few photos from the recent Broadstairs shoot...

 

Above. Dominic, Barry, Dan and I on location in and around Broadstairs - March 3rd 2012.

Next week I have another interview from my fanclub over in Beargrrria... I just can't keep those bears away; not that I'd want to - but it also enables you to find out a bit more about what I expect to be up to over the next few months! All good fun... Good DAFT fun!

I'm going to finish this post with something from my next collection - a poem called MY LONG LOST FRIEND... There'll be a lot more about the new book over the next few weeks; I'm still working on the formatting and proofing - but we should be on track for it to be out around June time; hopefully in good time for my Poetry Cafe show on Friday 8th June 2012.

More soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS Thanks also to Dan Hodges and Barry Dunkley for their help during the recent filming around Broadstairs - they can be seen in some of the photos in this post.

MY LONG LOST FRIEND

 

 

Oh, my long lost friend –
I’d not seen you in years…
I missed you quite sadly –
I was even in tears!
I was often heard sobbing –
By the folks in my street…
But my life has improved –
Since we did once again meet!
You have changed, that’s for sure…
There is no use ignoring!
I just try not to notice;
I wouldn’t say you were boring!
You’re my long lost friend –
I don’t listen to rumour…
I like telling you jokes –
But you have NO sense of humour!

Oh, my long lost friend –

I’d not seen you in ages!
You were once in the news –
On the very front pages!
You were a little bit well-known –
For a play you were in…
No, you cannot stop talking –
About how god made you thin!
It’s a tiny bit like –
You are trying to convert me…
Your tales of the war –
Do not really divert me!
You’re my long lost friend –
It was so good to see you…
But I’m really quite glad –
That I don’t have to be you!


Oh, my long lost friend –
I’ve not seen you forever…
You’ve suggested a night out –
And I’m not known to say never!
But then we went out bell-ringing –
Which, well – didn’t impress…
I thought we’d play merry hell…
But instead we played… chess.
What about karaoke?
It’s not exactly my scene…
But you were once such a rebel!
Now you’re losing your sheen…
You’re my long lost friend –
And on good terms with fame…
I was expecting a wild cat…
You’re just a Tom, oh-so tame!


Oh, my long lost friend –
You were so hard to find!
All those years never called;
No, I tried not to mind…
All those years never wrote –
You had so much to do!
So many pies left to eat –
So many guys still to screw!
I don’t want to condemn…
You’re quite thoughtless behaviour!
‘Cos since I met you again –
I think you did me a favour…
You’re my long lost friend –
I don’t want to abuse you…
But with a little good fortune –
I might even re-lose you!

MY LONG LOST FRIEND appears in Paul's forthcoming collection ARE WE THERE, YETI!?! This poem and all the contents of this blog are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2012.

FIVE NEW VIDEOS AND A TRIP TO RADIO WEY!!

Hi,

This week I have news about a couple of things in the yeti world; one concerns my trip to Radio Wey on Saturday 8th October and the other is that there are five new videos on Youtube and Vimeo for your delectation. I think we'll start with those...

The reason that there are five videos is that 4 of them are very short and are what would have been my SHY YETI ON LOCATION - ISLE OF YETI episode which I recorded on The Isle of Wight between the 11th and 12th August, this year. I've been having a lot of problem with the footage/Windows Movie Maker - I'm not sure which was the problem exactly; but anyway - the only way I could get any of the footage to you was by making the films very short. Basically, there are two 100-word stories, a poem and a yeti dance. The last video is of my trip to Radio Wey - more of which later. Let's start with the short videos; as it is I rather like that I am able to have a few 1 and 2 minute videos on my profile - in a way I hope that they might be more of an encouraging prospect to those who have never watched my films and might be put off by a ten minute episode...

The first video is called TOO LATE...

TOO LATE is a short story written by me, Paul Chandler - sometimes known as Shy Yeti, way back in 1994. It was recorded in August 2011 on The Isle Of Wight and was meant for inclusion in a rather more scenic episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION which I've had a lot of trouble editing so far this autumn. In the end I have decided to release it - and some of the other footage separately... It's from my recent collection THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, which contains poems and a number of 100-word stories; including this one. It's available from www.lulu.com. This film is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2011. This video is only 59 seconds long and can be viewed at the following links:

YOUTUBE:  http://youtu.be/hIU13E7FEHk
VIMEO:       http://vimeo.com/30245703

The second video is called A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS...

A DEVIL WITHOUT HORNS is a poem from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, filmed on The Isle of Wight during August 2011. The video is 2 minutes and 3 seconds long and can be viewed at the following links:

YOUTUBE: http://youtu.be/NYtqZxPIZT0
VIMEO:      http://vimeo.com/30246294

The third video is called SOMETHING TO CHEW ON...

SOMETHING TO CHEW ON is a short story from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE, filmed on The Isle of Wight during August 2011. The video is 1 minute, 4 seconds long and can be viewed at the following links:

YOUTUBE:  http://youtu.be/2MIarAInew0
VIMEO:       http://vimeo.com/30248301

The fourth video is called YETI DANCE-A-GO-GO...

YETI DANCE-A-GO-GO is the yeti dance that was recorded in the Isle of Wight - intended for inclusion in the original ISLE OF YETI. It also includes a little bit about the history of yeti on this particular island. All of the previous videos in this series were filmed by myself, but this one includes music by Luca and camerawork by Calum Williamson. I am capable of filming my own yeti dances - it's been done before - but it helps to have somebody there to hold the camera. The video comes to 2 minutes and 3 seconds and can be viewed at the following links:

YOUTUBE:  http://youtu.be/aslAgjpTo_c
VIMEO:       http://vimeo.com/30252158

Next up! My recent return to RADIO WEY on Saturday 8th October. It was my 4th visit, if my memory is correct - my first since November 2008 and it's almost ten years since my first visit back in November 2001.

Whilst there I read 4 pieces - most of them familiar to readers from my shows; the three poems appearing in my SHY YETI RULES OK collection from 2009 and the short story from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE.

The poems were: DISCO YETI, THE TRUE LIGHT and LITTLE PIG (read last of all to end on a humorous note!) and the story was THE NEXT TRAIN DOES NOT STOP AT THIS STATION. THE TRUE LIGHT, of course - was fresh from celebrating its 10th anniversary! The theme on the night was initially Harry Potter but moved onto writing and self-publishing. I also read a few poems (one a famous war poem from world war one) and a couple that readers themselves had written. It all went very well and I was lucky enough to be able to video all of my pieces, bar LITTLE PIG.

Here's a bit more about the video - which is already posted on Youtube and Vimeo...

A YETI ON RADIO WEY

This is me on Tim Mitchell's Radio Wey show on the evening of Saturday 8th October 2011, nearly 10 years since my first visit there, We talk a bit about my writing - but I also read my poems, DISCO YETI and THE TRUE LIGHT, as well as a short story from my VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection called THE NEXT TRAIN... I also wear a couple of interesting hats. On the night I also read out some listener's favourite poems and read another piece: LITTLE PIG, but these weren't recorded. The Copyright of this piece belongs to those appearing in it, 2011. The video is 11 minutes, 14 Seconds long.

YOUTUBE:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R9qq7f_j6s
VIMEO:       http://vimeo.com/30394327

Well, I think that's about it for now. There are a few photos at the end of this post from my trip to Radio Wey; hopefully I'll be back there in December to read some Christmas poems! Thanks to Tim Mitchell once again for inviting me back on his show and for helping take some of these photos too.

Next week I'll be telling you more about my trip to Lille and some news about not just one new book due for publication - but two!! All an exclusive reveal of one of a number of awesome new illustrations that will be appearing in FUNERAL FOR A SHOE...

Enjoy the videos - more from me soon!!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

All photos contained are Copyright Paul Chandler 2011.

A NEW COVER, SOME NEWS AND YETI RATINGS!!

Hi,

First up; what do you think of the cover? It's near enough what I'm hoping will be the front cover of FUNERAL FOR A SHOE... I am currently very busy with the final proofing work of this book and in my next post I may well tell you about the illustrator that I've been working with during this project... But it's all rather top secret at the moment! Anyway, enough about that for now...
Next I'm afraid I have a bit of bad news...

I was hoping to launch A YETI ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT this week - which contains a poem and two stories from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection; but unfortunately the project has become corrupted and I'm going to have to start again next week. Never fear! The footage still exists and is fine - it was just the copy that I was working on, editing etc. that has the problems. I also have a the first few episode of YETI HUNT U.S.A. to edit, a VAMPIRE COWS special and another episode of bits and pieces to work on over the Winter. All this and possibly futher episodes from the States - and two European cities!! I really do need to get my editing skates on... No more glitches please, Windows Movies Maker - or else!!

Anyway - onto other things! I've not done an update on my Youtube and Vimeo films for a while; it's probably only of interest to me, but here we go...

I'm glad to say that since I last studied the ratings back in mid-May the ratings on Vimeo have been improving! This is very good to learn; because love them or hate them they do take me a very long time to put together and of late I've been having trouble with the software - so they're taking even longer! SUTTON PARK continues to do well with all 7 completed episodes in the Top 20. There will be more episodes soon - a number are already in the can and it's the 20th anniversary coming up next year! The Hollywood episodes are suddenly starting to make a dent in the top 20 - as are some of my earlier episodes that have been around for over 18 months now. It's also pleasing to see one or two of this year's films already in the Top 20.

Oh boy, you can tell I still check the UK Top 40 every Sunday, can't you?

Anyway... Go on! Make a yeti very happy and watch a couple of my films that you've never watched! Watch them all and I'll take you out for a coffee and a danish pastry! :)

Enjoy!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

RATINGS FROM YETI VIDEOS – AS OF 15/09/2011



1st SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 1 = 387 views
2nd SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 3 = 203 views
3rd SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 2 = 199 views
4th SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET = 185 views
5th BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR = 169 views
6th SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWOOD = 166 views
7th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 4 = 151 views
=8th SHY YETI'S VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL = 139 views
=8th UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE = 139 views
10th I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES... = 133 views
11th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 1 = 131 views
12th OUT AND ABOUT WITH SHY YETI = 128 views
=13th A YETI IN WINTER = 126 views
=13th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION = 126 views
=15th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 6 = 119 views
=15th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 7 = 119 views
17th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 = 114 views
18th SUTTON PARK SW1 - PART 5 = 113 views
19th SHY YETI AT THE COBALT CAFÉ = 109 views
20th SHY'S SNOW SPECTACULAR = 107 views
21st SHY YETI ON LOCATION IN DORSET (OUT-TAKES) = 98 views
22nd SHY YETI TALKS = 97 views
23rd YETI SPAGHETTI = 96 views
24th SHY YETI LIVE - 06/03/2010 (2) = 89 views
25th SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY = 78 views
26th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 4 = 74 views
27th A PERFECT MATCH = 72 views
28th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE = 70 views
29th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 2 = 69 views
=30th A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD – PART 3 = 67 views
=30th SHY YETI IN A SECRET LOCATION (OUT-TAKES) = 67 views
32nd LITTLE PIG = 63 views
33rd YETI SPAGHETTI (OUT-TAKES) = 62 views
=34th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 2 = 61 views
=34th SUTTON PARK – PART 8 (1 OF 2) = 61 views
=36th MY MOMENT IS NOW = 58 views
=36th PICCADILLY CIRCUS = 58 views
38th SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN – PART 1 = 54 views
39th SHY YETI LIVE – 02/04/2011 = 53 views
40th A YETI IN PARIS = 50 views
41st THEY WARNED ME... = 47 views
42nd AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI – AND OTHER ANIMALS = 42 views
43rd ANOTHER EVENING WITH SHY YETI… = 38 views
44th MY DOG IN A DRESS = 37 views
45th THINGS AIN'T... = 34 views
=46th A YETI IN PARIS – PART 2 = 33 views
=46th SHY YETI BACK AT THE COBALT CAFE = 33 views
=46th SHY YETI LIVE - 18/11/2008 = 33 views
49th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – PART 1 = 32 views
=50th THE TRUE LIGHT = 29 views
=50th THE DAY CHARLIE GRRR ATE CHRISTMAS – PART 2 = 29 views
52nd CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND = 28 views
53rd GOOD HUG = 25 views
54th DAREDEVIL = 24 views
55th THE SORRY TALE... = 23 views
=56th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – PART 3 = 22 views
=56th RECKLESSLY = 22 views
=58th THE DAY CHARLIE GRRR ATE CHRISTMAS – PART 1 = 21 views
=58th A VOICE IN HIS HEAD = 21 views
=60th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – LIVE REVIVED = 19 views
=60th SHY YETI LIVE – 22/11/2010 – PART 2 = 19 views

Please note: All videos can be found on my SHYYETI Vimeo profile and all videos from 2010 onwards on my MRSHYYETI Youtube profile.

A PREVIEW OF 2012... ARE WE THERE, YETI?

Hello,

How are you? Feeling poetic? I do hope so!

I was hoping to be announcing that my next SHY YETI ON LOCATION video would be ready this week, but it looks as if it will be delayed until next week now! I can promise you it's nearly done - it's just that I had the bright idea of adding a quick trailer for the USA series - due soon - and, of course, that has taken some time to put together! I'm away this weekend - but once I'm back I promise to get it done.

What I can announce, however - is that not only have I put some more poems on my Soundcloud site, but I have also started a TUMBLR account. It's all new to me - and I'm not sure what it can provide that isn't already provided by this blog or by FACEBOOK and TWITTER; but I'll give it a go.

If you want to check it out then the link is: http://shyyeti.tumblr.com/

Finally today - I want to share with you a new poem that I wrote this week in response to the chucklesome yeti poem that my friend and poetic colleague, John Smallshaw wrote in my honour this week. Well, I was honoured, indeed! John is a man who, like me - like to rhyme and so my response is a piece called JOHN, I'M ONLY RHYMING - a cheeky rewording of the old David Bowie track. I've covered this ground before briefly in my piece THEY DON'T RHYME THEIR POEMS IN L.A. from my VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE book earlier this year - but this has allowed me to write on this subject a little more. It's really just a little grumble about how rhyming poetry seems to be frowned on in some quarters - usually within the poetry or academic community; whereas "the man on the street" still seems to appreciate it. Surely there is room for rhyme and free-verse!?! I don't see the problem myself. It just smacks of snobbery - but I have met that reaction over the years.

Anyway - this piece is too new to appear in my FUNERAL FOR A SHOE collection that I hope to complete by the end of the year and instead will be included in 2012s ARE WE THERE, YETI? As for this collection I can confirm that I have already written almost 50 pieces for this book - a mixture of short stories, poetry, vignettes and one or two pieces rescued from the Yeti archive. I also have some exciting news about some artwork that I have commissioned for both books - the results are brilliant; but I'm not saying any more for the moment!!

Anyway - enjoy the new poem and check out John Smallshaw's work on: http://www.johnsmallshaw.com/

Bye for now!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

JOHN, I’M ONLY RHYMING…



John, I’m only rhyming;
I can hear some people tut…
They don’t want our twisted lyrics!
I think they’re going off their nut!
Why do they have to be so boring?
Who says it’s them that sets the rules?
It’s like they’re our poetry headmasters –
And we’re enrolled within their schools!
I’m not averse to ditching rhythms –
If what I’m writing doesn’t fit…
They’re all so stuck in their own ways –
I think they must have shares in Pritt!
Oh, John – I’m only rhyming…
And now I don’t mean to impose –
But ain’t it best to be free-thinking?
And just write down whatever flows?


John, I’m only rhyming!
Well, I see it as a gift!
Whilst some other people grumble –
I really think they’re pretty miffed!
I cannot fathom why they worry –
Why they make their weak protest!
Do they really think they’re better?
Do they really think they’re blessed?
That’s the sort of attitude that makes –
Folk think we’re high and mighty!
We want them reading us at breakfast –
Over croissants in their nighties!
Oh John – I’m only rhyming…
Yes, we should start our own campaign!
Let us STAND UP for the rhymers!
We’re really gotta make it plain!


John, I’m only rhyming!
Am I not a proper poet?
Do I have to be pretentious?
Have I failed? Heck! Did I blow it?
Do I really have to mean it?
Do I need to get more tougher?
Do I have to fight the good fight?
Do I really have to suffer?
Yes, the most eccentric stanzas –
Into poems should be smuggled!
I simply want to play with words;
The English language should be juggled!
Oh, John – I’m only rhyming!
Don’t you agree – it’s quite beguiling!
I only want to make ‘em chuckle –
I simply want to keep folk smiling!


John, I’m only rhyming…
And it’s what I’ll keep on doing!
Oh, let the academics scowl –
Oh, let them say we’ve gone to ruin!
Yes, let them claim we’re an abhorrence –
Let them give us a bad name…
Why would we ever want be like them?
Why would we want to be the same?
They’re like the bullies in the schoolyard;
Well, let them bugger off – go hang!
And we will do just as we please;
Yes, form some crazy rhymers gang!
Oh John – I’m only rhyming…
Let’s flaunt our lyrical defiance!
And keep on doing as we do –
You know, it’s hardly rocket science!

JOHN, I'M ONLY RHYMING is Copyright Paul Chandler 2011 and will eventually appear in Paul's Summer 2012 collection ARE WE THERE, YETI? published by Beeches Books on http://www.lulu.com/

INTRODUCING THE NEW BOOKS - AND A SAMPLE OF SOMETHING VAMPIRIC...

Hi, This post is just an excuse to post a couple of the short stories from the new THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection and to post some of the photos from the little party I had to launch the new books in London on Saturday 2nd July 2011. Thanks to everyone who came along!!

The first story is called THE BROKEN LIFT and the second is called THE CAT NEXT DOOR. I hope you enjoy them both. They're decidedly odd. Yay!

More soon! Yeti hugs, Paul xx

 

THE BROKEN LIFT

Tina and Martin knew the lift was broken because they’d cancelled the engineer themselves. The brakes screeched painfully as it arrived - but everyone else had already gone home.

Once inside they held hands and chose a floor. Immediately, the lift dropped like a stone, throwing them off their feet as it plummeted towards the basement; closing their eyes they awaited the impact…

Disappointingly it never came. The lift slowed of its own accord; eventually stopping altogether.

“Shame!” sighed Tina as they stood up. “Now what?

“Wanna play on the motorway?” Martin giggled - Tina nodded.

…And so they did.

THE CAT NEXT DOOR

I was drinking tea in the garden when I met my new neighbour’s cat. It was a friendly creature with bright ginger fur and oddly intense eyes – one blue, one green. I’d nothing to feed it, but later I baked a cake and went round to introduce myself to his owners.

Janet and Ernest were both teachers nearing retirement. For a while we chatted about gardening until their son, Nick, arrived home. He was a tall, handsome lad in his teens with wild ginger hair; his eyes – one blue – one green…

“Hello…” Nick grinned mischievously. “I think we met earlier…”

PHOTO GALLERY FROM THE BOOK LAUNCH

In order of appearance. Paul, Gibson, Gibson and Miles, Miles, Harry and Nick.

THE BROKEN LIFT and THE CAT NEXT DOOR and all photos contained within this blog post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2011. Both these stories appear in Paul's new collection THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE AND OTHER DAFTNESSES, available from www.lulu.com - prices vary from £4.99 to £13.99 for various formats.

VAMPIRE COWS AND MICE OF COMMONS!

FINALLY - TWO NEW BOOKS RELEASED!!

Hi! This is just a quick blog to let everyone know that as of Friday 1st July I have two new books alive and kicking and ready for you to read; one of them more relevant to this particular blog than the other - although there are poems and Mouse Of Commonsy cross-overs in both books.

The first of the two books is my THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection, which I have been posting pieces here and performing at shows since earlier this year. Over the next week or two expect another sampler - and I am also currently working on a SHY YETI ON LOCATION video called BEWARE THE VAMPIRE COWS which should be up soon.

Here's some more information about the book...

THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE AND OTHER DAFTNESSES
304 Pages

Paperback: £8.99

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-vampire-cows-of-scunthorpe/16158464

Hardback: £13.99
http://www.lulu.com/product/hardcover/the-vampire-cows-of-scunthorpe/16161441

Download: £4.99

http://www.lulu.com/product/file-download/the-vampire-cows-of-scunthorpe/16158465

THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE is a collection of over 100 poems and weird vignettes - not to mention all the usual nonsense from Mr Yeti including the 100-word stories: A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DIVA, DEAD MEN DON’T YAWN, LAID, LEGGY BLONDE, A ROARING SUCCESS and the poems THE BARD OF BELGRAVIA, L.A. LIZARDS, A LITTLE MOUSE, A MONKEY’S UNCLE, the title piece and many more.

The second book is a the new Mouse Of Commons novel that I've been working on since Summer 2007. I'm am currently working on the sequel to this book, as well as completing a book of short stories written between 2007 and 2008. More information follows...

GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTERCLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM
400 Pages

Paperback: £9.99

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/gladstone-mcwhiskers-and-the-counter-clockwise-conundrum/16123767

Hardback: £14.99
http://www.lulu.com/product/hardcover/gladstone-mcwhiskers-and-the-counter-clockwise-conundrum/16161476

Download: £4.99
http://www.lulu.com/product/file-download/gladstone-mcwhiskers-and-the-counter-clockwise-conundrum/16123768

GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE COUNTER-CLOCKWISE CONUNDRUM is the latest adventure featuring Gladstone McWhiskers, Mouse of Commons and Lords and his friends Oliver Louse, Shy Yeti, Granny Ernestina and Auntie Astrid. In this full length novel Charlie Grrr and Simon Yeti carry out a few unwise time travel experiments and end up unleashing the wrath of the legendary Bear Babok. Gladstone, Ollie and Astrid get sucked into some kind of time portal and end up in another century altogether. How will they get back and what time anomalies will their presence in the past cause to the future? This book also features a number of Auntie Astrid’s Agony Aunt columns, a photo gallery, a message from Gladstone himself and a short story about a cunning fox named Fleabag. This is the 11th Mouse Of Commons book - but can be read as part of or separately from the series.

Thanks again to everyone who has supported me lately and to all of you who buy either or both of these books; I hope you really enjoy them. Needless to say they've been very much part of my life of late and I'm extremely proud and happy with the finished book. Good 'ole http://www.lulu.com/! ;)

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

A SLIGHTLY-LONGER-THAN 60 SECOND CHAT WITH SHY YETI


Here is an interview that I did recently with a Beargrrrian magazine called THE GROWL GAZETTE – they know me over there due to my dubious connection with a certain Beargrrrian superstar named Charlie Grrr. The interview is mostly about my new book - YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS. So, here’s what they asked and what I said in reply – straight from the horse’s, erm – yeti’s mouth, as it were!

Q. So, Paul - tell us about your latest book. Firstly, what’s it called?

A. Well, the title is YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS – although that wasn’t the only title it went under. During the year or so I worked on it, it went under three different names – from THE DEATH OF LOVE to LOVE HUGS AND YETI FUZZ before I finally settled on this! I needed it to sound, at least, a little menacing – as the contents of this particular book are a little darker than usual…

Q. How does it differ from your last book DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? which came out last year on www.lulu.com?

A. I feel it differs quite a bit… There are more than just poems, this time there are also a few vignettes inspired by my visit to Los Angeles in August 2010 – not to mention nine short yet darkly-humorous horror stories. I’ve been getting back into horror over the last 18 months or so and so my ideas seem to be going down a sort of Joe Orton meets Stephen King path – and I’m very pleased about it too…

Q. Tell us about some of your favourites from the new book - which piece or pieces are you most proud of?

A. Well, I'm very happy that I've spent more time writing prose, recently… I am especially pleased with the short stories in this collection because I feel I’ve been able to write something that you might even class as a black comedy. My horror stories are horrible – but they are as much about the ludicrousness of the situation that the characters find themselves in than trying to be scary. For instance, in THE UNWANTED NEIGHBOUR the story is as much about the rivalry between an old woman and the monster who lives next door – with the moral that gossip is far more powerful as a weapon than sharp razor teeth! I’m also especially fond of a number of the poems – BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE, YOU – ME AND THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS, JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU, GEOGRAPHY BE DAMNED, RESPECTABLE TEXTS, CUPCAKE, A FLEA TEA PARTY, A SWEET TAIL, WE’RE AN ITEM NOW and a number of others are already ones that have received nice comments at my shows or when recorded for videos and I hope in years to come I’ll still want to include these ones in my sets.

Q. How is the performance poetry going?

A. Good. Of course it’s still early days in many ways and I learn new things all the time. I still do shows at The Poetry Café twice a year and hopefully get the chance to read at other events along the way. This year is the first opportunity I’ve had to arrange a show with other poets so it’ll be very exciting to see how that goes!

Q. Are there any of your new poems that you feel are working especially well when performed live?

A. Definitely - and it's not always the obvious ones – sometimes it’s the ones I’ve asked the audience to pick randomly, which I’ve almost forgotten about – especially if it’s the older ones. I did one show last year where I provided the audience with the contents page of every book I had written up until that point and asked them each to select a titles from the contents page that they had been handed. In most cases they didn’t know the poem – but selected one for me to read by how much the title interested to them. It worked pretty well – nobody selected anything I really didn’t want to read, thankfully – but there aren’t TOO many of those. As for recent poems – any of the ones I mentioned earlier seem to be the ones working best; CUPCAKE always comes across in a far more sinister manner than I ever expected when I first wrote it. It’s like a stalking poem to a cake!!

Q. When is your next show?

A. I'm doing a show at The Poetry Café next month, Thursday 16th June 2011 with three other performers – John Smallshaw, Gary Groves and the legendary Wilfredo. It’s called AN EVENING WITH SHY YETI – AND OTHER ANIMALS and is for WOOD GREEN ANIMAL SHELTERS. I can’t really say anything more about it than that – but I do know it’s going to be very good!

Q. Will you be reading anything new?

A. Yes, indeed… One, maybe two new pieces – I suppose it depends on who you are and whether you’ve seen me perform my work before – to a lot of the audience it’ll all be new. But anyhew! Either way I am hoping to perform something new which I hope will appear in my FUNERAL FOR A SHOE collection next year. One A PERFECT MATCH is written especially for the night and the other I am also considering is called LOVE-GO-ROUND and was only written a few days ago; but keeps whispering in my ear asking to be performed. We’ll see – I won’t make a decision yet; although I expect to get to read about ten pieces on the night.

Q. Any other upcoming shows?

A. Well, following on from my April show I have another planned for mid-November which is really all about celebrating 10 years since my first collection: JUNK/FOOD was published back in 2001. I’m issuing a 10th anniversary special edition with new commentary and photos to coincide with that and I’m expecting to read some poems from this book that ordinarily I would probably try and avoid! As much as I like JUNK/FOOD it has one or two pieces written back in 1992 that make me blush just a tad – let’s just say I’ve written better pieces since. That said I still feel that I could turn them into something worth hearing when I perform them. I also intend to read quite a bit from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE – which is the book that I have coming out in the summer. In addition to that I’m hoping to read some really new pieces and then one or two old favourites.

Q. How is the SHY YETI ON LOCATION series progressing?

A. Very well, I’d say. I have posted a number of videos up this year – the last two episodes of my A YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD series, a video called A YETI IN WINTER which was just 100-word stories, a performance video from my April 2011 show – not to mention finally getting around to editing SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN which I had intended to have ready last year, but which I ran out of time to finish. This last video appears in two parts – the first part featuring myself and Mr McCauley in various locations around London – as well as a yeti dance on a balcony on Manchester. The second episode was filmed in the English countryside and features a daft song, a rude limerick – silly accents – loads of out-takes and the only footage that survived from my trip to Venice in November 2010. The next series of videos was filmed in Paris in late April 2011 and should start appearing by early June – I’m not sure if that will end up as two or three episodes. There are also a few more episodes that I hope to film over the summer, including a return to Los Angeles in July and a general mooch around the English countryside – rather like last year’s SHY YETI IN THE COUNTRY episode.

Q. What about the forthcoming Paris episodes? Anything you can tell us about? Mr McCauley is back again, we hear?

A. Absolutely. All who watched the 2nd SHY YETI VERSUS AUTUMN episode will have seen a few Paris clips at the end – basically it’s all in the can – not that there’s actually a can; but I’m only just starting to edit the episodes now. I managed a number of new stories – an old poem – a yeti dance and a number of daft sketches with Monsieur McCauley. We filmed near The Louvre, Eiffel Tower, Montmartre, Pere Lachaise – basically anywhere we could. I just hope viewers enjoy it!!

Q. Can we expect to see any other parts of the States during your next trip?

A. Yes, indeed. Other than the usual L.A. location I expect to be taking a trip out to Portland, Oregan for a few days – so I’m hoping that I can set an episode there too. I’m not exactly sure what I’ll be filming until I get there – but will probably read some new pieces and short stories from THE VAMPIRE COWS book. I also expect to be back in The States in November – but who knows what I’ll get up to then! There may even be a film from another European destination – but we’ll see!

Q. Will you be returning to open-mike in L.A.?

A. I'd very much like to if they'll have me back and there is time. My priority is to spend lots of quality time with Mr McCauley and then secondly recording more videos and taking photos for which ever book I'm working on by then.

Q. And you've nearly finished another book?

A. Yes… Two really! But that's just the way it often seems to happen… It's not as if I finished work on YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS in March and then began the next one in April - I began THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE in October and have been working on it since then whilst I was proofing the other collection. It’s just that every day I write it’s nice to work on some fresh writing – to spend half an hour or an hour to write a poem or some prose; but the reverse of that and the more boring side is the proofreading. So the balance is that I’m usually writing something new whilst putting the finishing touches to an older book.

Q. It still sounds like you came up with lots of ideas very quickly? How come?

A. I’ve always had a lot of ideas and I write every day – I had a pretty prolific year back in 2009 too, but on this occasion I blame it on those 100-word stories. I already had half a book written which was mainly poetry – but then suddenly I had a lot of ideas that really suited this 100-word format and once I had those ideas it was quite easy to write two or three a day whilst commuting to work or during a lunch break. Other than cutting them down to 100 words they didn’t need a lot of proofing – so the whole process of writing the second half of THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE went very quickly between January and March 2011.

Q. You read some of the stories during an episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION didn’t you? Will you still be writing poetry?

A. I certainly will – in fact I finished one over the weekend called LOVE-GO-ROUND which I hope to read at the Poetry Café show in June. But you’re right – I did read some of the 100-word stories and probably will do again; I’m certainly focussing more on prose at the moment – but in different forms. For instance, the book after VAMPIRE COWS which I am currently working on, called A FUNERAL FOR A SHOE, has a mixture of prose and poetry – but I’ve already moved on from writing 100 word stories to writing maybe 500 to 1000 word pieces; something with a little more meat but which might not be any longer than, say, two sides of A4 paper. Basically I’m writing in all sorts of formats – not imposing too many rules and regulations and just seeing what happens… I’m also finding that I’m writing more about things or places or experiences that I’ve been involved with lately. I guess what I’ve been writing about lately are more just bizarre black comedies rather than necessarily horror or ghost stories out-right.

Q. And what is the other book you mentioned?

A. The new Mouse of Commons novel - the first since 2008’s GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS THROWS IT ALL AWAY (the other Mouse books since then have all been short story collections.) I’m quite excited that it is nearly done as I’ve been working on this book on and off since 2007 and now that it’s finished I am already thinking about its sequel – not to mention finishing off a number of other Mouse short stories that are all finished, except for needing to be typed up.

Q. Well, that's about all for now - can I ask one more question? What ever happened to Sutton Park SW1?

A. Ah, I knew you'd ask that one! There are a number of episodes in the can ready to go – but I’ve just not had time to edit them as well as writing the books and working on SHY YETI ON LOCATION videos. I’m hoping to get more episodes edited later this year and into 2012 – which is the 20th anniversary of the show.

Q. That's good news. Thank you, Paul.

A. That's okay, thank you for having me – hopefully we’ll growl again soon.

So, there you have it! More soon! Yeti hugs, Paul xx



This interview was conducted in May 2011 and is Copyright Paul Chandler/Growler Gazette 2011. 

RETURN TO OPEN-MIKE - BOOK LAUNCH AND THOSE "YETI HUGS" POEM TITLES...

Just a quick-ish post about my second trip to The Poetry Cafe open-mike this year - on Tuesday 22nd February 2011. I also intend to list the titles from my new book and you can see the flier above for my book launch/show on Saturday April 2nd 2011.

All 4 of my SHY YETI BACK IN HOLLYWOOD videos are now up on the usual YOUTUBE (under MRSHYYETI) and Vimeo (under SHYYETI) profiles and I aim to release another video this weekend called A YETI IN WINTER which features 4 of my new 100-word stories from my forthcoming THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE collection. I hope to post a few more pieces from YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS between now and the launch date of Friday 1st April 2011 - so check back soon.

I've also loaded up slightly updated versions of book SHY YETI RULES O.K. and A SOUPCON OF SHY YETI on http://www.lulu.com/ and am working a 10th anniversary reissue of my first collection JUNK/FOOD for release in November.

A SOUPCON OF SHY YETI (contains slight updates on the edition released in Spring 2010)

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/a-soupcon-of-shy-yeti/14735948

SHY YETI RULES O.K. (contains additional photos and some updates in the text since the edition released in Spring 2009)

http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/shy-yeti-rules-ok/14938682

HARRASSING THE SUN
From THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)

This is a new prose poem from my collection from later this year. It's basically just about how the sun gets embarrassed by people staring at it, taking photos of it and taking their clothes off in front of it.

RESPECTABLE TEXTS
From YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS (2011)

This is from the next book (OUT APRIL 2ND 2011!) which I have posted previously on this blog back in July, last year.

http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.com/2010_07_18_archive.html#1899979573629947159

I also recorded a video for it back in September 2010 for the postponed autumn SHY YETI ON LOCATION video - which I hope to complete in the next couple of months. It is all about sending a lover texts, but hiding your true lusty intentions beneath sentences that appear quite polite.

IF YOU WERE MY WIFE
From THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)

This is a new piece and one of my recent favourites. Sadly I over-ran my five minutes and the last two lines were cut short. I am sure I will end up either posting it on here at some stage or recording a video for it during 2011 - or both. It was written for my old friend Jo - who has inspired a number of my poems over the years.

To finish with - here is the definitive list of titles from the new book; the poems - prose pieces and short horror stories...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxxx


YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS

LOVE FUZZ AND YETI HUGS (POEMS)

ANDREAS THE ACROBATIC CAT
ANTICIPATION
BAD STUFF I WISH WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU
THE BALLAD OF THE PIE-EATER
THE BEAR AND HIS KEEPER
BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE
THE BIG WHATEVER
BLACKMAILING SANTA
CHRISTMASTIME FOR SKELETONS
CUPCAKE
THE CUTEST GUY IN THE BAND
THE DEATH OF LOVE (LA MORT D’AMOUR)
DURBRAIN
THE EARWORM
EAT ME – DRINK ME
A FLEA TEA PARTY
GEOGRAPHY BE DAMNED!
GIVING UP ON GIVING UP
GOING DOWN THE SHOPS WITH MY CYCLOPS
I CAN’T SNOG YOU (I’M DATING THEM!!)
I KNOW HIM...
“I’M ALL FOR ANIMAL RIGHTS”
IF YOU CALL I’LL LET THE PHONE RING
IT’S NOT EASY BEING SCARY
I WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM
JUST TO GET MYSELF TO YOU
THE MEN IN WHITE COATS ARE MY FRIENDS!
MONEY IV
THE MOTHS ARE GATHERING IN MY WALLET
MUTTER
MY AMERICAN HUNK
MY ENEMY, MY FRIEND
MY SELFISH CAT
MY WORLD IS FLAT
NO-ONE EVER FELT COOL BUYING AN MP3 FILE
THE ONLY TRUE LOVE I HAVE HATED
ON MY T.V.
THE PARENTS TURN AGAINST THE CHILDREN
THE PEOPLE WHO YOU LOVE WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG
PHOTOS ON FACEBOOK
PIES I DON’T LIKE
RESPECTABLE TEXTS
SET THEM FREE
STREETLIGHT GLAMOUR
A SWEET TAIL
THAT OLD BLOOD MOON
WAITING FOR GHOSTS
“WE CAN’T KEEP DOING THIS!”
WE’RE AN ITEM NOW
WHEN SHE WAS JUST A LITTLE GIRL
WORK IS RUBBISH
YOU, ME AND THE HOLLYWOOD HILLS
YOUR HIGH-KICKING DAYS ARE OVER, DARLING
YOUR OWN SWEET OXYMORON
YOU TRULY WERE THE HANDSOMEST...

SHY YETI GOES TO HOLLYWEIRD 2010
A.K.A. HOLLYWEIRDNESS - HOLLYWOOD THEMED PROSE

ADDICTION
FILMSTAR
FIRST SNOG
FLAVOURS
PERFUME
THE STARS ON HOLLYWOOD

THE YETI BIZARRE
MACABRE SHORT STORIES

ACCESS PROHIBITED
THE AUTOGRAPH MAN
HEADSPACE
THE JELLY BEAR
THE MASCOT
THE NEW NEIGHBOUR
A SERIAL KILLER IN THE LIBRARY
STANDING ROOM ONLY
THE TATTOOED SKELETON

BEHIND THE SCENES: THE POEMS
“THE SHY LIFE”: Shy Yeti's blog-posts: 12/2009-10/2010

YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS by Paul Chandler is available from www.lulu.com from Friday April 1st 2011. Paul will be holding a book launch/reading at The Poetry Cafe on Saturday 2nd April 2011 between 7pm and 10pm.