Monday, July 08, 2013

OUT OF HOSPITAL...

...BUT THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT I WROTE WHILST STILL IN THERE...
 
Howdy beasties,
 
Many apologies for the delay in posting... I can't guarantee that I'll be posting weekly for a while, but that's partly due to the holiday season approaching rather than me being unwell!
 
So anyway - sorry, where was I?
 
Actually, this week I'm not quite ready to move on from where I left off back at the end of May... I can confirm that I did get as far as the Shetlands and that I did manage to complete filming of an episode whilst up there, reading a poem from each of my first four poetry collections. I can't say that I was particularly energetic and I'm not sure I'm exactly at my best - but the scenery was nice! As yet I'm undecided as to quite when I'll be editing this episode - particularly as I'm now quite behind on editing anyway. One consequence of being ill is that I'll probably film less when I'm in the Lakes at the end of this month - I'll probably just focus on filming the 2013 Halloween Special for later in the year; that's if I feel up to it. As a result of all this, I'm afraid, that it is also quite likely that I won't be releasing the Summer special that I recorded earlier in the year. I may either re-title it for later in the year or release it as the 2014 Summer Special; for a start I need to see how many references there are in it that it is the Summer Special!
 
I did take quite a lot of photos in the Shetlands, I've not downloaded them yet - but hopefully next week I'll share more about what I got up to during that trip! We're also not many days away from another Shy Yeti Poetry Café show - Friday 19th July is the day!! More on that nearer the time!
 
So, if we're not discussing the Shetlands this week then what are we discussing. Well, I thought I'd share with you a piece that I wrote whilst I was in hospital, along with one or two photos from my stay in hospital - a couple taken by me and a couple by my friend Harry F. As you can see I also bought along one of my own books to keep my distracted!There's also a photo of a very yummy quiche that Toby W made me to help with my recovery. That definitely worked! The yummiest quiche I've eaten in an age. Oh - and there's also a photo of my niece, Alena and I - as she happened to be over in the UK from the States visiting family whilst I recouperating back in Salisbury. Anyway, the photos and the new thing what I writ is about it for this week - to be honest. It's a prose piece and is called RUNNING ON EMPTY and was written on the 19th June 2013. It's a piece that sort of sums up a lot of my time in hospital - for the first couple of days I was really quite lost without books and belongings, being the type of person who is always doing something. It was all quite an experience - some of the food was rather nice - but I certainly won't miss the 6 O'clock wake-up calls for blood tests!

As already mentioned next week I've a Poetry Cafe to be thinking about and I may also have some Shetland photos to share with you...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. Thanks to all those in St Peter's and St Helier's hospitals who looked after me when I was unwell!


 

RUNNING ON EMPTY...



There I am,
Laid up in bed.
Running on empty...
Plugged in -
Plucked and poked and prodded -
Pricked by every needle going.
Feeling a little parched -
It's for my health.
I am buzzed around busily -
Nurse bees intent on getting me better.
The sound of the shower -
Is like the sound of waterfalls...
The feel of the water, over me -
Around me - it's my one true luxury.
My one true moment of privacy.
Is it any wonder that I take six showers a day.
I never could do anything in moderation.

There I am,
Laid up in bed.
Running on empty.
Present and yet absent.
Not exactly dreaming,
I allow my imagination to wander.
I attempt to read but find my thoughts -
In some completely other place.
Not somewhere better,
Just somewhere different.
It's no good - I fail to concentrate.
Instead I stare at the ceiling,
My brain resolutely switched off;
Until required.
I'm not sad, nor happy.
I am not anything right at this moment.
Free to roam; not that I go far.
I am a doll whose batteries need recharging.
But I'm in no immediate hurry.

"How are we, Mr Chandler? Are we well?"
I spring back to life automatically, voice activated.
Suddenly I am all smiles -
Once again playing my part.
I even have time for a joke,
Ever the performer.
An eager-looking beagle out to please.
"Yup! Yup! Yup! I'm better!" I bark.
"I'm well again... Please, send me home!"
I yap and then, looking extremely plaintive I add.
"Feed me... Feed me... Feed me!"
After all, I'm running on empty...
All I want is a mug of tea, a marmalade sandwich and a large, wobbly, mandarin orange jelly.
 
RUNNING ON EMPTY is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013 and will appear in one of Paul's collections in early 2014.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

GO 4TH... AND A NEW YETI VIDEO!!

CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF GO 4TH - SLIGHTLY EARLY!!

THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF "GO 4TH AND DIVIDE" IS OUT SLIGHTLY EARLIER THAN EXPECTED... READ MORE ABOUT IT!!

Hi beasties,

Yes... GO 4TH AND DIVIDE is out! It's slightly earlier than expected because the 10th anniversary is, strictly speaking, late July - however I wanted to be able to take a copy up to The Shetlands and have copies ready for the 10th anniversary show at The Poetry Cafe on Friday 19th July.

But first of all there is a new SHY YETI video to announce...

SHY YETI... AWAY!! HOME!! has been a work in progress... Part of it was filmed in Salisbury on a sunny day in September 2012 - with other scenes filmed in the Salisbury area during April 2013. All the rest of the episode was filmed in Paris in April 2013. Poems include MY OWN SWEET OXYMORON and AN EVERYDAY WEREWOLF and a short story called A HARMLESS PRANK. There is, of course, an yeti dance! This yeti film features Paul Chandler... Camera: Paul Chandler, Dominic McCauley, Nick Goodman and Toby Warburton. Music: Luca. All copyright of this film belongs to Paul Chandler, 2013. There will be more yeti films soon!

Youtube: http://youtu.be/yZLWIkYP4ck

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/67112798

Now it's time to tell you about the 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH...

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, published in mid-2003, was Paul’s fourth self-published collection and his third to include completely contemporary compositions. Long before he became Shy Yeti he was just plain Paul Chandler; what hasn’t changed is that he always wrote daft verse! Until now GO 4TH & DIVIDE has only been available alongside its sister volume THIRD TIMES LUCKY (re-issued in 2012) so this is the first time that it has stood alone. This is a special 10th anniversary edition containing photos and behind-the-scenes information about the book. This volume includes many poems that Paul still performs today, AS OLD AS YOU FEEL, DAREDEVIL, DARK HORSE, EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI, FURRY FROM THE DEEP, KILLING TIME, REVOLUTION ON THE 8.15 and ROSY-TINTED LIFE, but also includes many that he’s never publically performed!

With links...

Paperback Edition:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/go-4th-and-divide/paperback/product-20999324.html

Hardback Edition:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/go-4th-and-divide/hardcover/product-20999721.html

There will also be a piece from the collection which you'll find at the end of this post... I'm sharing with you a poem called THAT JOKE JUST WASN'T FUNNY - one that I also recently revived and performed at the last Poetry Café show, back in April.

I've decided on the theme for my Shetland videos - hopefully it'll be a 2 parter... I kind of want to celebrate that I'm now half way through the re-releasing of my first 8 collections. So I'm kind of thinking that I'll take all 4 books up to the Shetlands and read a piece from each over the course of the two episodes... Either that or a piece from each of the first three in the first video and then three pieces from the re-released GO 4TH in the 2nd episode. We'll see how much I get done up there!

Next week I may be posting a little later than normal due to being away, it all depends on whether we have internet access or not. Anyway - I'll be writing a diary of the trip and will post it at some stage!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. I've been busy writing this week - more details soon!

THAT JOKE JUST WASN’T FUNNY…
 
She was known as a terrible prankster…
One without reason or taste…
Dropping banana skins across Waterloo
Tripping up poor commuters in haste…
Teased a baby who didn’t know better!
Liberated zoos to free sad polar bears…
She put diesel in with unleaded –
Left roller-skates at the top of the stairs!

That joke just wasn’t funny…
The bears all lost their fur!
The commuters broke their necks –
But there was worse yet to occur!

She played a prank on a nun who was knitting…
Sung out of tune in the Sunday school choir!
Daubed paint on the stripes of a zebra…
Found a wasp’s nest and set it on fire!
She mixed salt there in with the sugar…
Committed anarchy and broke every rule!
Shopping sprees using credit she’d stolen…
Was her view of a good April Fool!
 
That joke just wasn’t funny…
The town just went to seed!
But she never showed regret –
No, just a sick and twisted greed…
 
She was the lady who killed the last Dodo…
Set a mate up and caused a divorce…
Had a brawl with a badger in Woking
Cut the legs off a Pantomime Horse…
She grassed up a way deadly villain –
Stole his pennies – then baffled the law!
Held a council with every President…
Until next day they all called for a war…
 
That joke just wasn’t funny…
That girl she went too far!
Sabotaging traffic lights –
She was knocked down by a car…
 
She had over-stepped the mark that one…
As a result she now was dead!
No mourners at the funeral…
For she had sold them out instead!
But that had been one of her good days…
She had the claws of a highly-strung cat!
Then in death she came back as a phantom!
But exorcism made sure that was that!!!

Those jokes were never funny and -
Now the town is left in peace!
All there share a safer giggle since -
That harpy's been deceased...
 
THAT JOKE JUST WASN'T FUNNY... is from the 10th Anniversary Edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, which is Out Now.

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

A FEELING OF DE-JA-VU!?

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE...

A PREVIEW - 10 YEARS ON...

Hello beasties!

First up this week I have two bits of good news - we've passed the 25,000 hits mark on the MRSHYYETI Youtube account, not to mention that we're also almost up to 12,500 hits on the blog. So thanks for reading the waffle that I write and watching the films that I post, if you've ever done either... Which, if you're reading this then I guess you must have!

Anyway, this week we're going for a bit of a journey - back into the past, almost ten years back in fact!

Yes, I'm happy to announce that the new 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, my 4th collection, is due to be re-issued next week. Although I made mention of the collection around the time that it was published back in 2003 and also posted one or two poems from the book, I never really gave any of these early collections the fanfare that they deserved when first they were published.

This is how the release of the original edition was trumpeted....

http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2003_07_13_archive.html

The original edition was released on the 21st July 2003, but as 21st July 2013 is about three days after my next Poetry Café show it makes sense to release it a little earlier as it's ready now.

So, having said that, the 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE will be officially re-released on the 31st May 2013 and I hope to post something from the collection around that time too.

As a reminder, here are the poems that are included in GO 4TH... Some you may know, some I still perform in videos and at shows and some I'd almost completely forgotten about myself! Actually, some of that latter category I'm quite excited about being able to perform in the future. There's only really one or two that make me slightly cringe or blush - not bad after 10 years, I guess. Anyway... Here are the titles that are included in this volume - some of them I've been performing again and some I've recorded for recent SHY YETI ON LOCATION episodes.

PROLOGUE (A STORY, PART 1)
AAAAHH! THIS’LL BE THE FIRST POEM…
ANYTHING FOR HER ART!
AS OLD AS YOU FEEL…
BLACK AND WHITE COWS
BREAKAGES MUST BE PAID FOR
BRICKS, TRICKS AND ANTHILLS
BULL IN A CHINA SHOP
CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD
DAREDEVIL
DARK HORSE
DATING SEASON
DECORATING MORRISSEY
DID YOU KEEP THE RECEIPT?
DRUNK
EARTH IS ROUND… (YEAH, RIGHT!)
EVOLVING…
EXCUSE ME… BUT ARE YOU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE?
EXIT, PURSUED BY A YETI
FAREWELL TO SLOUGH
FROM THE MIND OF A TURNIP
FURRY FROM THE DEEP!!!
GAP IN THE MARKET
GETTING ON FAMOUSLY
GOT IT ALL!!
GREAT MAN
HARD TO GET!!
HE SANG…
HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN TOGETHER?
HUNT THE TATTOO
I AM NOT A GOOD ENEMY TO MAKE!
I CANNOT HOPE TO COMPARE!
I DON’T GET ON WELL WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS…
IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULDN’T…
I’LL NEVER TELL…
IT’S NOT NECESSARY TO PANIC!
JUST AN EVERYDAY WEREWOLF
JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS
KILLING TIME
LOVE AND AMNESIA
MARSHMALLOW HEART II
MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE
MR. POPULAR CULTURE
MY LAST LOVE (UNTIL THE NEXT ONE)
NIGEL THE LONELY STAG
NOT THE GUY YOU THOUGHT I WAS!
ONE HUNDRED SECOND CHANCES
PIGEON-HOLED
REVOLUTION ON THE 8.15
THE ROCK POOL
ROSY-TINTED LIFE
RUNNING DOWN CORRIDORS
SHE TAKES OFF HER RINGS
SHE WORKS HER FINGERS TO THE BONE
SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW!
SOMETIMES I TALK TO COLD CALLERS
SOON ON YOUR WAY: STRIKES BACK?
STALKER
TEMPER! TEMPER!
TEN DAYS…
THAT JOKE JUST WASN’T FUNNY
THERE ARE NO DISCOTHEQUES IN THE STARS
THEY CAME FROM OUTER HEBRIDES
THEY’RE SO RICH
WE HAVE MICE
WHAT WOULD THE WORLD DO WITHOUT ME!?!
WOULD AUDREY HEPBURN DO IT?
WOULD YOU DENY US?
YOU AND WHOSE ARMY?
EPILOGUE (A STORY, PART 2)
ABOUT THE POEMS
LAST POEM: NOT A HAPPY BUNNY

Later in the year I'll also be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my 5th collection, THE AUTUMNAL E.P. - which, strictly speaking was released in December 2003. I had considered re-issuing the 10th anniversary edition in November in time for me to read from it during my November 2013 Poetry Cafe show and also during any holidays that I take for my 40th birthday the same month. My original plan was to release my next new collection, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS in September in time for my September 13th Poetry Cafe show - but I'm now thinking that I might swap those dates around as, even though it's a little early to release it in September, THE AUTUMNAL E.P. is closer to completion than NOT AS SHY AS I WAS... Oh, how complicated!!

In other news I'm working on the final script (of 8) of BEAST OF FRIENDS - Series 2, am also still adding new material to my "2014" collection and have also started working on the 10th anniversary edition of LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED, due out during 2014.

Before I bid you farewell this week I'm going to share with you a piece from my most recent collection, ARE WE THERE, YETI? The story that I've included is called THE WEDDING PLANNER, I hope you enjoy it!

You can still get hold of copies of ARE WE THERE, YETI? Here's the information of what it's all about, where to get it and what it costs...

ARE WE THERE, YETI? contains over 100 pieces, mostly short stories, a few sketches and a dozen or so poems. Some of them a funny, some sad, some quirky, some plain creepy. They are stories that Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) wrote between July and December 2011; much of it during his summer and autumn trips to the States. Poems include: GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART, NEVER TRUST A SKINNY FISH AND CHIP MAN, INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA, IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY!?, JOHN – I’M ONLY RHYMING, MY LONG LOST FRIEND and the title verse. Stories include: THE CREEPY SHOW, A CUP OF SUGAR, RATTLESNAKES, SANTA’S BIT ON THE SIDE and A YETI HISTORY LESSON OF HOLLYWOOD.

Paperback edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/are-we-there-yeti/12734066

Hardback edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/are-we-there-yeti/13615283

Thanks to everybody who has already bought their copies of the book! Your support is very much appreciated, as are all the kind words of encouragement that I've received since it was published.

Next week, we'll be looking forward to another SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode, not to mention my forthcoming trip to the Shetland Isles at the start of June.

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS This week I've finished a new poem called HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART... It's a bit of a quirky, bitter/sweet, silly, horrible and slightly reflective piece. It's basically about watching ghouls in a graveyard with somebody you care for and realising that perhaps you'll never be able to leave.

THE WEDDING PLANNER


Phil was mortified. He hadn’t known how to explain himself. He’d well and truly mucked up in his role of wedding planner for two of his oldest University friends, Josie and Stuart. It was only two days until the wedding and not knowing what to do – he had approached Josie to tell her his problem; he daren’t even admit it to Stuart for fear of how he would react. Would Josie be any more understanding?

“Josie, love – I’m so sorry... I’ve been trying to get things fixed, but I may have left it too late...”

“What happened?” Josie sighed, trying to keep calm. “You forgot to arrange food for the veggie guests?” Phil shook his head. “The flowers weren’t ordered?”

“No, it’s not that...”

“You’ve never forgotten to hire the string quartet for the reception?”

“No, Josie... It’s way worse than that, I’m afraid!” Phil took a deep breath before explaining. “Somewhere along the way, what with all the forms we’ve filled in... Well, I just found out that rather than it being you and Stuart – the registry office actually thinks that you’re marrying ME!”

“Oh!” exclaimed Josie. Phil cringed, bracing himself for her fury, close to tears. “Oh! Oh well...” Josie added and then she smiled. “Never mind, aye? We don’t have to tell Stuart, do we? After all, I always did think that you had the nicer eyes!”


THE WEDDING PLANNER appears in ARE WE THERE, YETI!? by Paul Chandler - which was published in Spring 2013. This post and all content is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A BIT LATE IN ARRIVING BUT FINALLY...

...SPRING HAS SPRUNG FOR MR YETI!

Hello beasties!!

Moving on, it's now time to unveil a new yeti video, this one is entitled SHY YETI'S SEARCH FOR SPRING...

This episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION follows Shy Yeti's search for spring after a long-long winter. The video includes three poems: THE CALL OF THE MILD and KILLING TIME from 10 years ago and then a very new one called PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS - this episode also includes a prose piece called WE HAVE MICE... It stars Paul Chandler and was filmed in the London area over the Easter break in April 2013. Camera: Paul Chandler, Dominic McCauley and Calum Williamson. Editing: Paul Chandler. Music: Luca and Spooky Yeti. All Content of this film, especially the poems are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/oT5Na9ri25c

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/66134763

There are plenty of other episodes coming up - I'm currently working on SHY YETI - HOME AND AWAY, which I posted photos from the other week and I'm also hoping to get AN EPISODE WITHOUT A THEME 2 out before the end of May. After that I want to work on a live episode from last month's show and then also on the three or four part Lake District serial that I filmed last summer. I'll be filming up in Shetland in early June and then I'll be back in the Lake's themselves in July to film both the Halloween 2013 episode; probably involving "the ghost hunter" and maybe also some kind of lake-side diary episode. The other idea for an episode I had involved "puppy-walking" an inflatable dinosaur - which is a complete rip-off of one of my Sutton Park episodes from almost 20 years ago! It could be fun... As long as nobody gets scared! Three episodes sounds like quite enough for one holiday - but all completely different in style! I'll be editing the 2013 Summer Special whilst I'm up there too. I have another big trip planned during the summer break - but I'm keeping that under my hat for a while longer, I'm afraid.

As promised last week I've included a few photos from my SHY YETI INSPECTS THE COUNTRYSIDE episode which is still only half filmed - so won't be released for a while. I need to record another poem, a yeti dance and maybe one or two other silly sketches - but, as yet - don't have a particular location or date in mind for completing the episode. Still - no matter for the moment, there's no harm in seeing some of the photos in advance. Some of them come from a shoot in Box Hill late last month and the rest from my recent trip to Derbyshire; thanks to my old primary school friend, Paul Hillier for helping take some of those. Paul previously helped film some of the as-yet-unedited On Location series from The Lakes last August, as well as some scenes from Belper in Derbyshire which appeared during the 2012 Christmas Special.

SHY YETI INSPECTS THE COUNTRYSIDE...
PHOTO GALLERY

The photos from this gallery we taken in late April in the Box Hill area and in early May in various locations around the Derbyshire Dales. There is more filming still to be done for this episode - so more photos to follow at a later date, most probably. The other gentleman in this gallery (no, not the sheep...) is my friend Paul, as mentioned above.


EPISODE COMING SOON!!


Next week I'll be discussing the 10th anniversary release of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE which will be out at the end of the month, a little earlier than planned. But then, why not!? It's good to be early sometimes - especially as ARE WE THERE, YETI? came out late. Talking of which I may post something else from ARE WE THERE, YETI? too.

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS I've been musing over how I'd quite like to work on a quarterly project during 2014 which gets published in four small volumes before being compiled into one book at the end. It seems like a nice idea - although I've already got a backlog of books to work on - so we'll see closer to the time perhaps... I guess it doesn't have to be something that I start in January - it could cross 2014/15. I think it would probably be a mixture of prose and poetry and might well include a number of four part serials. Hmm... Now I'm getting ideas! *potters off to consider more*

PPS For those of you who followed the first series of my radio series BEAST OF FRIENDS I am pleased to announce that I have completed 7 of the 8 scripts for series 2. With a bit of luck series 2 will be out by the autumn.


All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

MORE ARTWORK FROM ADAM...

...AND A BRAND NEW PROSE PIECE...


Hello beasties!

This week I want to share another new piece that I finished just before Easter... But first of all - what do you think of the yeti that illustrates this particular post? Awesome, isn't it!?

It's another illustration by Adam M Botsford and it's for a daft ditty called ANOTHER YETI POEM from NOT AS SHY AS I WAS... You'll be seeing a lot more of Adam's work over the next few months, as I'm glad to say that he's accepted some more of my commissions for other poems, having completed the first six. More news as it happens, then but keep an eye out for Adam's blog: www.adambotsford.com as he often discusses all the projects that he's working on - not just mine; they're all very interesting and it's cool to see what he's up to.

I mentioned last week that I hoped to be filming in Derbyshire over the bank holiday weekend, so what exactly did I get up to? Well, I finished MY SELFISH CAT, which I began last Sunday on Box Hill - I also recorded another poem THE PICK-POCKETTING FOX in two sections. Location-wise I filmed near Tideswell, Belper and Monsal Dale. Annoyingly there is a poem from THE AUTUMNAL E.P. which was inspired to by walking the Monsal Trail back in 2003. I didn't have the text with me, but might get away with reading the actual poem in some other location and cutting it into all the footage that I took in Monsal Dale on Bank Holiday Monday. I do hope you enjoy all this - I climbed at least three hills this weekend! The episode is still not finished - I need to record, at least, one more poem and do a yeti dance and maybe a daft sketch too. Not sure quite when I'll finish this one - but hopefully sometime during May. There's no rush! I have plenty of other episodes to release first! I'll post a few photos from this filming session next week, once I've downloaded all the material.  I'll also try and decide on an exact title for this episode too, by then!

That's about it for this week, except for the new piece at the end of this post which is called A CULT FOLLOWING and won't be published in one of my collections until next year now.

Next week we'll turn our attention to a new SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode called SHY YETI'S SEARCH FOR SPRING...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx


A CULT FOLLOWING....



They tell me that I have a cult following...
I’m pretty sure that means that pretty much nobody liked me at first…
I'm the sort that gets ravaged by the critics because they don't understand me...
They think that I'm a mess... Well, I am a mess – but at least I’m fun...
But they don't like me, really rage against me and in my day I'm pretty much ignored...
But then, over time, they return to me – think again and may even change their minds...
Eventually, after half a dozen viewings they’ll declare me a masterpiece – a work of art!
Although, it's often in a slightly ironic sort of way; like some kind of guilty pleasure!
Even then it's still only a fond few that really know me who consider me a classic...
Still... Adoration is adoration and it shouldn't be scoffed at!


They tell me that I have a cult following...
Excited fans meet up to discuss me in hotels and get charged a fortune for doing so!
Some of them get drunk and dance enthusiastically at the very mention of me...
Some dress like me; I'm a Halloween favourite – I'm Dracula only more obscure...
Occasionally they invite me along to sit on a stage and to answer questions about myself...
It's a weird thing to do – but I guess I am hardly the first to undergo such interrogation...
Sure, I wasn't keen at first, but once I actually got there I really rather liked it...
They took photos of me, recorded me on their smart phones and asked for my autograph!
Best of all they applauded loudly at pretty much anything that I had to say...
A couple of men in their 40s, wearing tight jeans, even swooned when I walked by...


They tell me that I have a cult following...
Occasionally I am unearthed and commemorated…
I still have the sort of following that can work up a reasonable audience...
Enough to fill a large church hall or perhaps a carriage or two on the Orient Express...
People who have precious little knowledge of me still pretend that they know who I am...
But they only really do so because they don't want to look stupid,
I'm a name that they feel they should know but whom they’ll never bother to get to know...
When one of their crowd says my name wrong; they don't correct them, just think, “Idiot!”
I have the ability to conjure up excitement in some, yet most just couldn't give a damn.
I'm often mistaken for that other guy – the one who died, but was more famous than me.


They tell me that I have a cult following...
Students study me in minute depth on University courses...
They write essays and dissertations about me and nod knowingly at my lesser-known work.
They read academic tomes breaking me down into a list of major themes and sub-texts...
They analyse me in far greater detail than I have ever done myself...
Maybe there is more to me than even I ever realised – it is good for the ego, I guess.
Over-time I begin to appreciate myself a little more as I hear their conversations...
As they quote me enthusiastically around tables in small badly lit Union bars...
Their shared knowledge of me draws them closer to one another...
Occasionally it might even get them laid.

A CULT FOLLOWING will appear in Paul Chandler's first collection of 2014, exact title yet to be decided. All Content of this post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

SOMETHING NEW FOR A NEW MONTH...

...A SHORT AND CREEPY STORY!!

Hello beasties!!

So, what are we up to this week?

Well, for a start, I have something new for you! A short story that I wrote over Easter and recently recorded for a new a Shy Yeti On Location video - not to mention that I also read it at The Poetry Cafe the other Friday. It won't be published in a book until 2014 now - so take a peek at another sample from my first collection of next year; whatever it ends up being called! I will probably be doing an online poll nearer to the point of completion, so readers can choose their favourite title for the collection.

Despite saying that I'd wait a couple of weeks, last Friday I posted the youtube version of the 2nd of the two videos from Venice; I've also just made it available on Vimeo... I'm so pleased to have these episodes completed after all the problems that I had with the episodes that I filmed there back in 2010. I'm definitely planning on returning to Venice, either later this year or early in 2014, so it won't be the last we see that great city on SHY YETI ON LOCATION, if I can help it! Anyway, enough waffling from me - here's all the details and links... Part 2 contains two completely new and, as yet, unpublished poem, by the way!

A YETI IN VENICE - PART 2 is the second of a two-part SHY YETI ON LOCATION series set in... well, believe it or not it's set in Venice! This isn't the first time the series has been there - but it's the first time that I've managed to film there and not accidentally delete most of my footage! (Which is exactly what I did back in 2010!) This second episode was filmed back in November 2012 and includes two poems - one called ARE THEY AWARE I'M A WEREWOLF? and the other entitled ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH LOVE. There is also a yeti dance and the return of the ghost hunter as he shows you around the city with his peculiar and ghostly tales. The film features Paul Chandler and guest stars Dominic McCauley. Music is by Luca and Spooky Yeti. All content of this film is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013. More Yeti Films Coming Soon...

Youtube: http://youtu.be/at3_5lUVmGc

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/65138356

Hits for the first episode have been really encouraging, with the first episode receiving over 50 views in the first three days. Thank you to everybody who has been watching the film and any of the others on the MRSHYYETI profile. We're creeping ever closer to 25,000 hits!

The next Yeti episode, SHY YETI'S SEARCH FOR SPRING  is now finished and I hope to have that released in a week or so... Although, as mentioned last week, I do intend to do a live video from the ARE WE THERE, YETI? show, but there are a couple of other videos that I am working on first. I think the next live video will be out in early July before our next show. Oh - and whilst I think of it - I'm pretty excited about our July show because it rather looks like we're going to have two Special Guests - the awesome John Smallshaw being one of them and the other... well, I'm going to keep that under wraps for now!!

What about writing and filming, you may ask. This week, poetry-wise I have completed two new poems, one called ENOUGH OF YOUR SAUCE, which is about somebody taking advantage and then another entitled UNTIL THE COWS ALL COME HOME - which is about vengeful cows. I've also been writing a couple of others, BAD AT BEING IN LOVE and another MY CAT GOT BOTOX; these are both based on a true stories, of course! *unhappy sigh... rolls eyes...*.

This weekend, I did a little filming... On Sunday 28th April I went for a ramble with friends up Box Hill and began work on an episode that is provisionally known as SHY YETI INSPECTS THE COUNTRYSIDE... I'm in no rush to get this one finished, but I imagine it as a sort of sequel to 2010s SHY YETI OUT IN THE COUNTRY and aim to film it when I'm out with my flatmate on walks. The Box Hill trip saw me record the first two verses of a piece called MY SELFISH CAT which I included in my SHY YETI GOES WILD compilation back in 2012. I hope to finish filming this poem over the bank holiday weekend as I'm visiting an old school friend in Derbyshire. Depending on the weather and where we go I may even film a little more... We'll see! More about that next week, no doubt. Other than that I haven't got a great deal of filming planned until I head to The Shetland Isles in early June - although I do have a trip to Oxford pencilled in and any opportunity for an afternoon ramble is also an opportunity for some filming. Next week I will hopefully be able to confirm what I'm going to be up to over the summer holidays, in addition to my return to Keswick in late July. So there will be lots of new films coming up, it's just not quite holiday time quite yet!

Talking about future videos I'm going to share with you some photos from an episode called SHY YETI - HOME AND AWAY... which I am about to start editing and hope to post mid/late May.

SHY YETI - HOME AND AWAY

A SHY YETI ON LOCATION PHOTO GALLERY

This episode has nothing to do with the soap opera - it's just a title that fits, seeing as some of it was filmed in my HOME town of Salisbury back in September 2012 and some of it comes from my trip AWAY to Paris, last month. Anyway, without giving too much away yet about the actual content of the episode, here are a few behind the scenes photos.

That's about it for now - other than the story which follows at the end of this post. Next week I'll hopefully speak a little more about some of the episodes of SHY YETI ON LOCATION that I hope to be filming over the next few months - and may also have some news of what I got up to (if anything, depending on the weather!) up in Derby...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

A HARMLESS PRANK
 
As the two sisters met one another's gaze they both giggled instinctively. It had been such a jolly game - a harmless prank. Down at the beach that Summer's afternoon they had buried their father in the sand whilst he had slept and later, when the rest of the family had arrived the two girls had said nothing. When asked where Papa had gone they simply shrugged their shoulders. Nobody had been able to find him; they were all looking in the wrong places and had presumed that he'd gone for a swim and got washed out to sea...

Okay, so the joke had gone a little too far, perhaps and now it was time to end this situation before they really got into trouble.

“Do you think that Papa will be cross with us?” enquired Christine worriedly as they began to scrape about in the sand.

Sandra said nothing. They had buried him well and it was hard to locate the exact spot and he wasn't exactly helping matters or calling out. What if he was hurt? Perhaps he'd swallowed too much sand! They had been quite certain to leave him with an air hole so he could breathe. What could have gone wrong. Christine was panicking, but Sandra remained composed and continued her search.

Would he be cross? She worried, pushing away the debris to reveal Papa's grinning skull staring sightlessly up at her from the sand. Would he be cross? No, Sandra reasoned, after fifty years her Father would hopefully let bygones be bygones.

A HARMLESS PRANK will be published in a future Shy Yeti tome during 2014...


This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

HOW THE GIG WENT AND...

...A NEW VIDEO FROM VENICE!!

Hello beasties!

This week there are really two things on my mind... Okay, maybe three!!

The first of these is a relatively quick thing - our latest SHY YETI ON LOCATION video... Here we go - this is what it's about, it's one of my favourite episodes as it was filmed in what is probably my favourite city in the world. At least of all the cities that I've visited...

A YETI IN VENICE - PART 1 is the first of a two-part SHY YETI ON LOCATION series set in... well, believe it or not it's set in Venice! This isn't the first time the series has been there - but it's the first time that I've managed to film there and not accidentally delete most of my footage! (Which is exactly what I did back in 2010!) This first episode was filmed back in November 2012 and includes two poems - one called A FORTNIGHT TO ACHIEVE, the other entitled THE MAN-EATER OF SURREY GREEN, a prose piece called THE BUTTERFLY COLLECTORS and a daft Venice-themed limerick. There is also a yeti dance and the return of the ghost hunter as he shows you around the city with his peculiar and ghostly tales. The film features Paul Chandler and guest stars Dominic McCauley. Music is by Luca and Spooky Yeti. All content of this film is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013. Part 2 of this series will be posted soon...

Youtube: http://youtu.be/XWSDRYkQb6g

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/64535607



Part 2 is already edited, but I'll save it for a couple more weeks and am now beginning work on SHY YETI'S SEARCH FOR SPRING, which I recorded over the Easter break and which should, hopefully, be quite an easy one to complete. With a bit of luck I'll post that in mid-May. After that I'll be moving onto an episode set in Salisbury AND Paris - and then it'll probably be time for a trip to the Lake District. I will be doing a video from the ARE WE THERE, YETI? show - but not immediately; probably closer to our next show in July.

So, without further ado I should tell you how the gig went, shouldn't I? Well, it was a certainly a good night - we enjoyed ourselves even though we didn't get as big a crowd as usual and sadly didn't make a great deal for the charity. Never mind, there's always next time! The weather rather worked against us with Friday night being lovely and sunny too; quite a change after recent poor weather. Still, let's not grumble and instead investigate a little closer what exactly we got up to during the evening. I've not yet checked the footage, but I think most of what was read was recorded. Here goes...

ARE WE THERE, YETI? - THE SHOW

FRIDAY 19TH APRIL 2013, POETRY CAFE, LONDON

FIRST HALF

A HAPPY YETI HOWL
A HARMLESS PRANK
YOUR NIGHTMARES
YOU CAN'T TRUST A MAN WITH A BEARD
THAT JOKE JUST WASN'T FUNNY
CALL OF THE MILD
A ROSY-TINTED LIFE
THERE ARE NO DISCOTEQUES IN THE STARS
KILLING TIME
JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS
ARE WE THERE, YETI?
GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART
PHOTO FALLEN
THEY CAME FROM OUTER HEBRIDES
WE HAVE MICE
AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG

SECOND HALF

A YETI WAY OF THINKING
BORN WITHOUT A FUNNYBONE
ALL THE RAGE
MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE
MY LAST LOVE (UNTIL THE NEXT ONE)
HE WAS JUST AN EVERYDAY WEREWOLF
THE DUST OF AGES
NEVER TRUST A SKINNY FISH AND CHIP MAN
YOU'RE NO FRIEND (LET'S BE ENEMIES)
MICE TAP-DANCING
BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE
A LITTLE MOUSE

IN MORE DETAIL

FIRST HALF

A HAPPY YETI HOWL
A HARMLESS PRANK
YOUR NIGHTMARES
YOU CAN'T TRUST A MAN WITH A BEARD

The first four pieces of the evening were extremely new ones - not even from the next collection NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, but from the book that follows it, which is unlikely to be published until 2014 and is tentatively entitled either GRANNY ATE MY AFTERBIRTH, A YETI WAY OF THINKING or BORN WITHOUT A FUNNYBONE. The first piece, is a new yeti poem, of course - and I always have to begin the night with one of those. The next piece was a short story that I wrote over Easter, the third a recent poem and the 4th a prose piece inspired by something that my dad once said to me about what interview panels often (apparently) think about men with beards!

THAT JOKE JUST WASN'T FUNNY
CALL OF THE MILD
A ROSY-TINTED LIFE
THERE ARE NO DISCOTEQUES IN THE STARS

The second of these 4 poems was from my THE AUTUMNAL E.P. collection, whilst the remaining three were from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE. It's no real surprise as I've been working on the 10th anniversary collections of both books, as they're both due out this year. I'm not sure whether they'll be revisited in July (the 4TH... show) or November (the AUTUMNAL show), but then I'm not going to have time to read the whole books - so it's nice to get a few of them in early, just in case I don't get to return to them later.

After this John Smallshaw came up to the stage and read for a while and after about ten minutes I returned with a few more poems before the intermission...

KILLING TIME
JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS

These two are also both from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE - I'm not sure I've ever performed either, although KILLING TIME I recorded for a recent SHY YETI ON LOCATION video during the Easter holidays.

ARE WE THERE, YETI?
GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART
PHOTO FALLEN

These three are all from the new collection, ARE WE THERE, YETI? and I've performed the first two before at my November 2011 Poetry Cafe show (and again at my September 2012 show in the case of GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART), with PHOTO FALLEN receiving its live debut on Friday. Here's a link to the text version which I posted on this blog last month: http://www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2013_03_10_archive.html

THEY CAME FROM OUTER HEBRIDES
WE HAVE MICE
AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG

These three are a mixture of old and new - the first two are from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE from almost 10 years ago, whilst AUGUSTUS is a piece inspired by a drawing on a wall that I encountered during my November 2012 trip to Venice. I worked on that poem for a while after the trip, finally completing it back in February. I also posted it on this site at around the same time, as part of our 250th post... In fact here's the link: http://www.thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2013_02_24_archive.html

SECOND HALF

A YETI WAY OF THINKING
BORN WITHOUT A FUNNYBONE

The first two poems of the second half are from the collection that I am currently writing - whatever it ends up being called! Both poems made their debuts on friday night, but are unlikely to see the light of day in print until early 2014... As it happens they're both poems whose titles could well end up as the overall title of a forthcoming collection too! I may well take a vote on it on amongst my Twitter and Facebook followers, nearer the time.

ALL THE RAGE
MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE
MY LAST LOVE (UNTIL THE NEXT ONE)

The first of these three were from THE AUTUMNAL E.P., whilst the other two are from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, the two 10th anniversary collections that I've been working on lately. As far as I can remember I have never previously performed any of these live...

After this Fatima (a friend of John's) and John himself returned to the stage. Fatima read a poem that she'd written that night and John performed a number of pieces, old and new. After this I returned to read one or two final poems...

HE WAS JUST AN EVERYDAY WEREWOLF
THE DUST OF AGES
NEVER TRUST A SKINNY FISH AND CHIP MAN
YOU'RE NO FRIEND (LET'S BE ENEMIES)

The first piece is another from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE that I've also recently recorded for one of my yeti videos, whilst the final three are from ARE WE THERE, YETI? I last performed NEVER TRUST A SKINNY FISH AND CHIP MAN at my September 2012 Poetry Cafe show and it's one of my recent favourites. I also recorded a version of it in the Lake District, last summer - and hope to edit this series very soon.

MICE TAP-DANCING
BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE
A LITTLE MOUSE

I finished the evening with three animal poems from 2012's SHY YETI GOES WILD compilation, although they were originally from separate collections, MICE TAP-DANCING from IF POEMS WERE PIES (2009), BECOMING MORE CAT-LIKE from YETI HUGS AND OTHER HORRORS (2011) and A LITTLE MOUSE from THE VAMPIRE COWS OF SCUNTHORPE (2011)

It may not have our most busy night - but I'm glad we went on and completed a full show... I pretty much read all that I'd intended to as I had deliberately chosen a few poems less than usual as I'd hoped that we'd have a few more open-mike readers... I had intended to read a song lyric as a poem; but I'll save that one until next time! Although it was ARE WE THERE, YETI?'s evening - there are a lot of short stories in that collection - which is why I only read six pieces from that collection book. In fact I only decided to read the three from SHY YETI GOES WILD after John mentioned that he was going to finish by reading some of his own favourite pieces and so I decided to do the same; those three being one's that I am especially fond of.

Before we move on I have a few people that I'd like to thank, my special guest, John Smallshaw for one - not to mention Dominic McCauley for filming events and Fatima for coming up to read at short notice; also to her friend Mary for accompanying her. Special notice should also go to Calum Williamson for choosing to come to watch us rather than spending it out boozing with his work mates. All attendees were most appreciated!

Before I go I'd also like to mention a few recent posts by my friend Adam M Botsford who has been working with me on a number of illustrations for my NOT AS SHY AS I WAS collection, which is due out later this year. Adam has been writing on his blog about working on a drawing for my poem WE'RE ALL JUST BRAINS and has said some very kind things.

Here are some of his recent posts, including the finished design for the illustration:

http://adammbotsford.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/brain-commission.html

http://adammbotsford.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/updates-and-brain.html

For those of you too lazy to click on the link Adam made a very kind comment in one of his posts, as follows:

"In other news, I've had a chance to work with Paul Chandler again. But some grace of artistic good fortune he has opted to hire me again for a series of poem illustration, such as the one above. The greatest part of working with him is the freedom he allows. It's rare to work with a creator or client who gives you primary control. On most of the work he gives suggestions and guidance, and tons of patience but lets me have the liberty of most of the design and layout. Seriously. One of the best customers ever. In all honesty, I've had tons of success working with people. Either through my Etsy page, my direct page, or even through Tumblr nearly everyone has been amazing."

I'm flattered! I must say that it's been terrific fun working with Adam too. When working with illustrators I really like just giving over the poem and seeing what they come up with. Sure, sometimes they want a little guidance - but usually not until after a first draft has been completed. With the "BRAINS" piece I had asked Adam to come up with something sort of Frankenstein-y - a brain in a bottle and it was when he sent the first drawing that I had the idea for the BEFORE and AFTER design. I'm really not sure what it all means, but I was very pleased with what Adam came up with from my rambling email and by the end of the day we had the finished piece! Adam did all the hard work, of course! Watch this space - there is more to come and I'm hoping to post another piece of Adam's work for NOT AS SHY AS I WAS in the next week or so. The finished book is going to look just great - hopefully the poems and stories are going to be good too! :)

There are also a number of other posts by Adam on the matter - which I completely failed to notice at the time, what with being so busy on my return to work last week. Here are just three of them where you can see the development of the illustration.

http://adambotsford.com/post/48130808704

http://adambotsford.com/post/48128642850/almost-done

http://adambotsford.com/post/48124462682/wip-commission-part-2-of-the-brain

Next week, we'll be back with our final post of April - that's the first third of the year over and done with; what exactly do we have in store for what it technically the middle of the year!? Well, we'll discuss all that when we get there - don't go away, will you!?! Well, you can for a while - but do come back next week... Okay! Okay! I'm going!!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx


This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.