SHY YETI - AND JOHN SMALLSHAW...

BACK AT THE POETRY CAFE!!

Hello beasties!!

Well, this week our main focus is going to be last Friday's Poetry Cafe show... This time I performed a mix of new pieces, poems from the 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE and one or two other favourites. Thanks to all who came along on the night, despite the very hot weather. Audience members included: John Smallshaw and friend, Nick G, Glyn G, Dan H, Baz D, Toby W, Gibson G, Miles B, Stefano, Harry F and Jason - not to mention a couple of stray ladies and a gentleman who popped in to listen during the second half.

Anyway... This is, more precisely, what went on!?!

SHY YETI AT THE POETRY CAFE

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE...

(10th Anniversary)

Poetry Cafe, London, Friday 19/07/2013

All poems marked * were recorded

FIRST HALF

EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI *
HOPELESS ROMANTIC *
THE KING OF RHYME *
HOW CAN WE BE WRONG? *
LAS VEGAS LIPS *
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE *
GERIATRIC MERMAID *

JOHN SMALLSHAW

PIGEON-HOLED (Dan)
NIGEL THE LONELY STAG (Miles)
ONE HUNDRED 2ND CHANCES (Harry)
CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD (Nick)
ONION MAN
RUNNING ON EMPTY
POLITELY ENRAGED
MY DEAD DAD
THE TRUE LIGHT

SECOND HALF

DISCO YETI *
SCABBY DONKEY *
CHECK UP, CHECK OUT *
HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS... *
LEAVES ON THE LINE *
DO YOU WANT TO SPEND... *

JOHN SMALLSHAW

THE CAFFEINE QUEEN
JOHN I'M ONLY RHYMING
WOULD YOU DENY US? (John) *
ROSY-TINTED LIFE (Baz) *
MY LAST LOVE... (Toby) *
ROCKPOOLS (Gibson) *
WE WERE GOING TO BE WED... *
ALTERNATIVE ROCK... *
I WILL EAT PIES * (some)
 

IN MORE DETAIL...

 

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE...
(10th Anniversary)
POETRY CAFE SHOW -
Friday 19/07/2013

FIRST HALF

EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI

The first poem of the evening was an old piece, not only is it a yeti-themed verse, but it's one from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, which is the book that we were celebrating on the night. It's also one that I recorded last year for one of my as-yet-unedited Lake District episodes. Coming soon!! I promise!!

HOPELESS ROMANTIC
THE KING OF RHYME
HOW CAN WE BE WRONG?
LAS VEGAS LIPS
A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

The next five pieces are old favourites - as I knew there were people in the audience who wouldn't have heard them. Along with EXIT PURSUED they were compiled into my 2009 collection, SHY YETI RULES OK - although they all originally appeared in separate collections. I've not read any of them live in a while, but they're always fun to perform. A LEARNING EXPERIENCE (2001) is one that I used to perform at most of my shows and was the poem I selected to be turned into posters for my Cobalt Cafe appearance in LA back in August 2011: http://poetrysuperhighway.com/cobalt/080211.pdf  I've not performed it much recently, so it's nice to give it an airing for 2013.

GERIATRIC MERMAID

This was the newest piece of the evening, in fact it was only completed two days before it was performed. It's always nice to have some new poems to perform and this one was inspired by a silly conversation that I had with Toby whilst picnicking up in Richmond on Saturday 13th July 2013.

JOHN SMALLSHAW

PIGEON-HOLED
NIGEL THE LONELY STAG
ONE HUNDRED 2ND CHANCES
CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD

After John's reading I moved onto GO 4TH... but rather than choose my own favourites I put the titles into a hat and had audience members randomly select them. This half, in the order they were picked, I have Dan, Miles, Harry and Nick to thank for what I read and they made for an interesting selection as they weren't necessarily ones would have been my first choice or which I regularly read live. They were also a nice mix of poetry and prose pieces.

ONION MAN
RUNNING ON EMPTY

These next two poems are both new and unpublished. ONION MAN was probably about a week old when I received its debut here. It's almost a song lyric warning about an untrustworthy fellow who hides his true personality beneath his "layers". RUNNING ON EMPTY was written back in June whilst I was in hospital and draws together a lot of what I had been feeling whilst I was on the ward.

POLITELY ENRAGED
MY DEAD DAD
THE TRUE LIGHT

The final three poems of this half were published in my SHY YETI RULES OK volume from 2009. POLITELY ENRAGED is full of old-fashioned sounding curse words, whilst MY DEAD DAD is not autobiographical - but it is one of my favourites and concerns a rather troublesome zombie family. It's a bit grim, mind! THE TRUE LIGHT is another of my most frequently performed poems. It is the one, back in 2001, that got me started again with writing verse. This is its first airing for 2013.

SECOND HALF

DISCO YETI

Another yeti poem to start the second half and one that I've performed quite a lot over the years. It's also included in 2009's SHY YETI RULES OK compilation.

SCABBY DONKEY
CHECK UP, CHECK OUT
HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS...

These three pieces are all quite new and won't appear in any collections until at least 2014. The first poem was inspired by a northern English expression that I heard on Coronation Street and then later asked Toby about. It ended up as a piece about not being fussy about your food, not to mention that it has a bit of a tongue-in-cheek political rant along the way. CHECK UP, CHECK OUT is a short story about a doctor and one of his patients, written on the District Line one afternoon in early July 2013. HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART was inspired by a walking in Brompton Cemetery with a friend during early summer 2013; it's not the first time this location has inspired my writing either.

LEAVES ON THE LINE

This is an old piece that I revisited whilst working on the 10th anniversary edition of LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED (2004). It muses over what would happen if a theme park had the same problems in running the service as often occurs with running the trains in the UK.

DO YOU WANT TO SPEND...

This poem is another quite new one that is not yet published and in some ways is a bit of an update on the sort of cynical romantic poems that I wrote a lot in the early to mid 00s.

JOHN SMALLSHAW

THE CAFFEINE QUEEN
JOHN I'M ONLY RHYMING

John read next and once he was finished I performed a couple of poems from my SHY YETI STILL RULES OK compilation from 2012. They're both favourites of mine and JOHN... was written to John S himself, so I like to read it in his presence, now and again. It's all about being proud to write poems in whichever style you choose and it's one that went down well at the Broadstairs Folk Festival last year.

WOULD YOU DENY US?
ROSY-TINTED LIFE
MY LAST LOVE...
ROCKPOOLS

The next four poems were selected (in order of picking) by John, Baz, Toby and Gibson and are all from GO 4TH AND DIVIDE. The first of the four I've not peformed live before, but the others I've read on occasion. Again, it was a nice mix of prose and verse and not necessarily my own first choices - which made it more nerve-wracking and also more fun to perform.

WE WERE GOING TO BE WED...
ALTERNATIVE ROCK...
I WILL EAT PIES

The final poems came from 2012's SHY YETI STILL RULES OK. WE WERE GOING TO BE WED (WHEN WE BOTH HIT 40) I read partly because it's my 40th in November and partly because I love reading it, especially the way the final verse gallops to its conclusion. The second piece is one of my favourite prose pieces of the last few years; it's a deliberately very silly piece. I WILL EAT PIES is a poem with connections to a famous 70s tune that I often read at the end of my shows, although I haven't done so lately.
 

I didn't prepare a "cover version" piece this time, having forgotten to read the one that I did prepare at my last show. There were a handful of poems that I did prepare for the night but which I didn't read and these were: THE GIN GOBLINS, GRANNY ATE MY AFTER-BIRTH, PEACE OF MIND IN A TEA-BAG and WE AIN'T GOT TIME...

 

Other than some filming I did myself we didn't have a cameraman on the night - instead I used a book shelf as a tripod and managed to record over half of the evening's poems. It was just to hot to expect anyone from the audience to film. It all came out rather well anyway! Thanks again to everyone who came along; over £30 was raised for Macmillan Cancer Support during the evening.

 

Next week I'll be posting on Monday - just before heading off to the Lakes for a week. Expect more photos from the Shetlands trip and maybe a new poem next week and then a post about the 2013 Lakes trip later the following week once I'm back.

More soon...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

PS There will be more photos from the night once I return from The Lakes.


Thanks to John Smallshaw for the use of all photos of his performance. All other photos and content of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

 

BACK ON LOCATION!!!

SHY YETI'S SHETLAND DIARY...

Hello beasties!

This week I'm posting some (rather delayed!) photos and thoughts about my recent trip to The Shetlands. Alas, due to being unwell, it wasn't quite the trip that I was hoping it would be - but I did manage to film a whole episode up there. That may not sound a lot, but considering how unwell I thought - believe me - I'm amazed I did as much as that! I was off work for over a week, but I'm only really covering the Monday to Friday 3rd to 7th June...

Monday 3rd June 2013

This was the day we flew out to the Shetland Isles via Aberdeen. I didn't take any photos that day, partly because I wasn't feeling well. I still managed a good dinner in the evening at our hotel. My appetite is hard to defeat! *waves French stick bravely in the air*

Tuesday 4th June 2013

Today we spent the morning exploring the coastline near the hotel in Lerwick and then in the afternoon travelled out to a number of locations near the airport; taking only a few photos due to feeling unwell. I filmed a poem in the morning, THE TRUTH ABOUT HAGGIS, which is from my first collection, JUNK/FOOD.

Wednesday 5th June 2013

On Wednesday we drove out to the coastline farther across the island. I still wasn't well but managed to film versions of my poems  YOUR FORTUNE TOLD and REINCARNATION from my 2nd and 3rd books.

Thursday 6th June 2013

No matter how bad I felt, I was determined to conclude filming the Shetland episode. Luckily enough our hotel was close to an ancient stone whatnot... The poem was THEY CAME FROM THE OUTER HEBRIDES from my 4th collection, GO 4TH AND DIVIDE...

Friday 7th June 2013

Today, we left Shetland - no real filming today except for some footage from the plane. Thanks to Elizabeth and Brian for driving us about and enabling me to get some nice shots around the island.

There will be a few more photos from the trip soon, probably just before I head up to the Lakes... I'm still editing on the Lake District episodes from last summer - they may take a while to complete yet... I'm also still working at completing my next collection of poems and stories, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, which is due out in November. Before that, however, I am pleased to announce that the 10th anniversary edition of THE AUTUMNAL E.P. is ready to be released in time for my Poetry Cafe show on Friday 13th September 2013. The 10th anniversary of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE was also released recently - details as follows:

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, published in mid-2003, was Paul’s fourth self-published collection and his third to include completely contemporary compositions. Long before he became Shy Yeti he was just plain Paul Chandler; what hasn’t changed is that he always wrote daft verse! Until now GO 4TH AND DIVIDE has only been available alongside its sister volume THIRD TIMES LUCKY (re-issued in 2012) so this is the first time that it has stood alone. This is a special 10th anniversary edition containing photos and behind-the-scenes information about the book. This volume includes many poems that Paul still performs today, AS OLD AS YOU FEEL, DAREDEVIL, DARK HORSE, EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI, FURRY FROM THE DEEP, KILLING TIME, REVOLUTION ON THE 8.15 and ROSY-TINTED LIFE, but also includes many that he’s never publically performed!

With links...

Paperback Edition:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/go-4th-and-divide/paperback/product-20999324.html

Hardback Edition:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/go-4th-and-divide/hardcover/product-20999721.html

Talking about Poetry Cafe shows, we have another show this very Friday to look forward to, so next week we'll be discussing that! If you want to come along it's this Friday (19th) at The Poetry Cafe near Covent Garden, London from 19.30 until about 21.30. There will be open-mike slots if people want to come and read...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS Here's another post from Adam M Botsford  - the first link is his illustration for a poem of mine called THE WORLD IS FULL OF BULLIES, from my NOT AS SHY AS I WAS collection, which is due out in November: http://adambotsford.com/post/51051588503/bullying-image-final-done-ya-im-much-happier The second illustration is for another poem from the same collection - YOUR CAKE-ADDLED MIND: http://adammbotsford.tumblr.com/post/54034619855/commission-complete-this-is-a-really-fun-piece

This post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013

OUT OF HOSPITAL...

...BUT THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT I WROTE WHILST STILL IN THERE...

 

Howdy beasties,

 

Many apologies for the delay in posting... I can't guarantee that I'll be posting weekly for a while, but that's partly due to the holiday season approaching rather than me being unwell!

 

So anyway - sorry, where was I?

 

Actually, this week I'm not quite ready to move on from where I left off back at the end of May... I can confirm that I did get as far as the Shetlands and that I did manage to complete filming of an episode whilst up there, reading a poem from each of my first four poetry collections. I can't say that I was particularly energetic and I'm not sure I'm exactly at my best - but the scenery was nice! As yet I'm undecided as to quite when I'll be editing this episode - particularly as I'm now quite behind on editing anyway. One consequence of being ill is that I'll probably film less when I'm in the Lakes at the end of this month - I'll probably just focus on filming the 2013 Halloween Special for later in the year; that's if I feel up to it. As a result of all this, I'm afraid, that it is also quite likely that I won't be releasing the Summer special that I recorded earlier in the year. I may either re-title it for later in the year or release it as the 2014 Summer Special; for a start I need to see how many references there are in it that it is the Summer Special!

 

I did take quite a lot of photos in the Shetlands, I've not downloaded them yet - but hopefully next week I'll share more about what I got up to during that trip! We're also not many days away from another Shy Yeti Poetry Café show - Friday 19th July is the day!! More on that nearer the time!

 

So, if we're not discussing the Shetlands this week then what are we discussing. Well, I thought I'd share with you a piece that I wrote whilst I was in hospital, along with one or two photos from my stay in hospital - a couple taken by me and a couple by my friend Harry F. As you can see I also bought along one of my own books to keep my distracted!There's also a photo of a very yummy quiche that Toby W made me to help with my recovery. That definitely worked! The yummiest quiche I've eaten in an age. Oh - and there's also a photo of my niece, Alena and I - as she happened to be over in the UK from the States visiting family whilst I recouperating back in Salisbury. Anyway, the photos and the new thing what I writ is about it for this week - to be honest. It's a prose piece and is called RUNNING ON EMPTY and was written on the 19th June 2013. It's a piece that sort of sums up a lot of my time in hospital - for the first couple of days I was really quite lost without books and belongings, being the type of person who is always doing something. It was all quite an experience - some of the food was rather nice - but I certainly won't miss the 6 O'clock wake-up calls for blood tests!

As already mentioned next week I've a Poetry Cafe to be thinking about and I may also have some Shetland photos to share with you...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. Thanks to all those in St Peter's and St Helier's hospitals who looked after me when I was unwell!

 

RUNNING ON EMPTY...

There I am,

Laid up in bed.

Running on empty...

Plugged in -

Plucked and poked and prodded -

Pricked by every needle going.

Feeling a little parched -

It's for my health.

I am buzzed around busily -

Nurse bees intent on getting me better.

The sound of the shower -

Is like the sound of waterfalls...

The feel of the water, over me -

Around me - it's my one true luxury.

My one true moment of privacy.

Is it any wonder that I take six showers a day.

I never could do anything in moderation.

There I am,

Laid up in bed.

Running on empty.

Present and yet absent.

Not exactly dreaming,

I allow my imagination to wander.

I attempt to read but find my thoughts -

In some completely other place.

Not somewhere better,

Just somewhere different.

It's no good - I fail to concentrate.

Instead I stare at the ceiling,

My brain resolutely switched off;

Until required.

I'm not sad, nor happy.

I am not anything right at this moment.

Free to roam; not that I go far.

I am a doll whose batteries need recharging.

But I'm in no immediate hurry.

"How are we, Mr Chandler? Are we well?"

I spring back to life automatically, voice activated.

Suddenly I am all smiles -

Once again playing my part.

I even have time for a joke,

Ever the performer.

An eager-looking beagle out to please.

"Yup! Yup! Yup! I'm better!" I bark.

"I'm well again... Please, send me home!"

I yap and then, looking extremely plaintive I add.

"Feed me... Feed me... Feed me!"

After all, I'm running on empty...

All I want is a mug of tea, a marmalade sandwich and a large, wobbly, mandarin orange jelly.

 

RUNNING ON EMPTY is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013 and will appear in one of Paul's collections in early 2014.

BLOG DELAYED DUE TO ILLNESS - BACK EARLY JULY...

MANY FURRY APOLOGIES!

BACK SOON, YETI HUGS x

GO 4TH... AND A NEW YETI VIDEO!!

CELEBRATING 10 YEARS OF GO 4TH - SLIGHTLY EARLY!!

THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF "GO 4TH AND DIVIDE" IS OUT SLIGHTLY EARLIER THAN EXPECTED... READ MORE ABOUT IT!!

Hi beasties,

Yes... GO 4TH AND DIVIDE is out! It's slightly earlier than expected because the 10th anniversary is, strictly speaking, late July - however I wanted to be able to take a copy up to The Shetlands and have copies ready for the 10th anniversary show at The Poetry Cafe on Friday 19th July.

But first of all there is a new SHY YETI video to announce...

SHY YETI... AWAY!! HOME!! has been a work in progress... Part of it was filmed in Salisbury on a sunny day in September 2012 - with other scenes filmed in the Salisbury area during April 2013. All the rest of the episode was filmed in Paris in April 2013. Poems include MY OWN SWEET OXYMORON and AN EVERYDAY WEREWOLF and a short story called A HARMLESS PRANK. There is, of course, an yeti dance! This yeti film features Paul Chandler... Camera: Paul Chandler, Dominic McCauley, Nick Goodman and Toby Warburton. Music: Luca. All copyright of this film belongs to Paul Chandler, 2013. There will be more yeti films soon!

Youtube: http://youtu.be/yZLWIkYP4ck

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/67112798

Now it's time to tell you about the 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH...

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, published in mid-2003, was Paul’s fourth self-published collection and his third to include completely contemporary compositions. Long before he became Shy Yeti he was just plain Paul Chandler; what hasn’t changed is that he always wrote daft verse! Until now GO 4TH & DIVIDE has only been available alongside its sister volume THIRD TIMES LUCKY (re-issued in 2012) so this is the first time that it has stood alone. This is a special 10th anniversary edition containing photos and behind-the-scenes information about the book. This volume includes many poems that Paul still performs today, AS OLD AS YOU FEEL, DAREDEVIL, DARK HORSE, EXIT PURSUED BY A YETI, FURRY FROM THE DEEP, KILLING TIME, REVOLUTION ON THE 8.15 and ROSY-TINTED LIFE, but also includes many that he’s never publically performed!

With links...

Paperback Edition:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/go-4th-and-divide/paperback/product-20999324.html

Hardback Edition:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/go-4th-and-divide/hardcover/product-20999721.html

There will also be a piece from the collection which you'll find at the end of this post... I'm sharing with you a poem called THAT JOKE JUST WASN'T FUNNY - one that I also recently revived and performed at the last Poetry Café show, back in April.

I've decided on the theme for my Shetland videos - hopefully it'll be a 2 parter... I kind of want to celebrate that I'm now half way through the re-releasing of my first 8 collections. So I'm kind of thinking that I'll take all 4 books up to the Shetlands and read a piece from each over the course of the two episodes... Either that or a piece from each of the first three in the first video and then three pieces from the re-released GO 4TH in the 2nd episode. We'll see how much I get done up there!

Next week I may be posting a little later than normal due to being away, it all depends on whether we have internet access or not. Anyway - I'll be writing a diary of the trip and will post it at some stage!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. I've been busy writing this week - more details soon!

THAT JOKE JUST WASN’T FUNNY…

 

She was known as a terrible prankster…

One without reason or taste…

Dropping banana skins across Waterloo…

Tripping up poor commuters in haste…

Teased a baby who didn’t know better!

Liberated zoos to free sad polar bears…

She put diesel in with unleaded –

Left roller-skates at the top of the stairs!

That joke just wasn’t funny…

The bears all lost their fur!

The commuters broke their necks –

But there was worse yet to occur!

She played a prank on a nun who was knitting…

Sung out of tune in the Sunday school choir!

Daubed paint on the stripes of a zebra…

Found a wasp’s nest and set it on fire!

She mixed salt there in with the sugar…

Committed anarchy and broke every rule!

Shopping sprees using credit she’d stolen…

Was her view of a good April Fool!

 

That joke just wasn’t funny…

The town just went to seed!

But she never showed regret –

No, just a sick and twisted greed…

 

She was the lady who killed the last Dodo…

Set a mate up and caused a divorce…

Had a brawl with a badger in Woking…

Cut the legs off a Pantomime Horse…

She grassed up a way deadly villain –

Stole his pennies – then baffled the law!

Held a council with every President…

Until next day they all called for a war…

 

That joke just wasn’t funny…

That girl she went too far!

Sabotaging traffic lights –

She was knocked down by a car…

 

She had over-stepped the mark that one…

As a result she now was dead!

No mourners at the funeral…

For she had sold them out instead!

But that had been one of her good days…

She had the claws of a highly-strung cat!

Then in death she came back as a phantom!

But exorcism made sure that was that!!!

Those jokes were never funny and -
Now the town is left in peace!
All there share a safer giggle since -
That harpy's been deceased...

 

THAT JOKE JUST WASN'T FUNNY... is from the 10th Anniversary Edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, which is Out Now.

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

A FEELING OF DE-JA-VU!?

GO 4TH AND DIVIDE...

A PREVIEW - 10 YEARS ON...

Hello beasties!

First up this week I have two bits of good news - we've passed the 25,000 hits mark on the MRSHYYETI Youtube account, not to mention that we're also almost up to 12,500 hits on the blog. So thanks for reading the waffle that I write and watching the films that I post, if you've ever done either... Which, if you're reading this then I guess you must have!

Anyway, this week we're going for a bit of a journey - back into the past, almost ten years back in fact!

Yes, I'm happy to announce that the new 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE, my 4th collection, is due to be re-issued next week. Although I made mention of the collection around the time that it was published back in 2003 and also posted one or two poems from the book, I never really gave any of these early collections the fanfare that they deserved when first they were published.

This is how the release of the original edition was trumpeted....

http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2003_07_13_archive.html

The original edition was released on the 21st July 2003, but as 21st July 2013 is about three days after my next Poetry Café show it makes sense to release it a little earlier as it's ready now.

So, having said that, the 10th anniversary edition of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE will be officially re-released on the 31st May 2013 and I hope to post something from the collection around that time too.

As a reminder, here are the poems that are included in GO 4TH... Some you may know, some I still perform in videos and at shows and some I'd almost completely forgotten about myself! Actually, some of that latter category I'm quite excited about being able to perform in the future. There's only really one or two that make me slightly cringe or blush - not bad after 10 years, I guess. Anyway... Here are the titles that are included in this volume - some of them I've been performing again and some I've recorded for recent SHY YETI ON LOCATION episodes.

PROLOGUE (A STORY, PART 1)
AAAAHH! THIS’LL BE THE FIRST POEM…
ANYTHING FOR HER ART!
AS OLD AS YOU FEEL…
BLACK AND WHITE COWS
BREAKAGES MUST BE PAID FOR
BRICKS, TRICKS AND ANTHILLS
BULL IN A CHINA SHOP
CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD
DAREDEVIL
DARK HORSE
DATING SEASON
DECORATING MORRISSEY
DID YOU KEEP THE RECEIPT?
DRUNK
EARTH IS ROUND… (YEAH, RIGHT!)
EVOLVING…
EXCUSE ME… BUT ARE YOU THE LOVE OF MY LIFE?
EXIT, PURSUED BY A YETI
FAREWELL TO SLOUGH
FROM THE MIND OF A TURNIP
FURRY FROM THE DEEP!!!
GAP IN THE MARKET
GETTING ON FAMOUSLY
GOT IT ALL!!
GREAT MAN
HARD TO GET!!
HE SANG…
HOW LONG HAVE YOU TWO BEEN TOGETHER?
HUNT THE TATTOO
I AM NOT A GOOD ENEMY TO MAKE!
I CANNOT HOPE TO COMPARE!
I DON’T GET ON WELL WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS…
IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULDN’T…
I’LL NEVER TELL…
IT’S NOT NECESSARY TO PANIC!
JUST AN EVERYDAY WEREWOLF
JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS
KILLING TIME
LOVE AND AMNESIA
MARSHMALLOW HEART II
MEANWHILE ELSEWHERE
MR. POPULAR CULTURE
MY LAST LOVE (UNTIL THE NEXT ONE)
NIGEL THE LONELY STAG
NOT THE GUY YOU THOUGHT I WAS!
ONE HUNDRED SECOND CHANCES
PIGEON-HOLED
REVOLUTION ON THE 8.15
THE ROCK POOL
ROSY-TINTED LIFE
RUNNING DOWN CORRIDORS
SHE TAKES OFF HER RINGS
SHE WORKS HER FINGERS TO THE BONE
SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW!
SOMETIMES I TALK TO COLD CALLERS
SOON ON YOUR WAY: STRIKES BACK?
STALKER
TEMPER! TEMPER!
TEN DAYS…
THAT JOKE JUST WASN’T FUNNY
THERE ARE NO DISCOTHEQUES IN THE STARS
THEY CAME FROM OUTER HEBRIDES
THEY’RE SO RICH
WE HAVE MICE
WHAT WOULD THE WORLD DO WITHOUT ME!?!
WOULD AUDREY HEPBURN DO IT?
WOULD YOU DENY US?
YOU AND WHOSE ARMY?
EPILOGUE (A STORY, PART 2)
ABOUT THE POEMS
LAST POEM: NOT A HAPPY BUNNY

Later in the year I'll also be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my 5th collection, THE AUTUMNAL E.P. - which, strictly speaking was released in December 2003. I had considered re-issuing the 10th anniversary edition in November in time for me to read from it during my November 2013 Poetry Cafe show and also during any holidays that I take for my 40th birthday the same month. My original plan was to release my next new collection, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS in September in time for my September 13th Poetry Cafe show - but I'm now thinking that I might swap those dates around as, even though it's a little early to release it in September, THE AUTUMNAL E.P. is closer to completion than NOT AS SHY AS I WAS... Oh, how complicated!!

In other news I'm working on the final script (of 8) of BEAST OF FRIENDS - Series 2, am also still adding new material to my "2014" collection and have also started working on the 10th anniversary edition of LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED, due out during 2014.

Before I bid you farewell this week I'm going to share with you a piece from my most recent collection, ARE WE THERE, YETI? The story that I've included is called THE WEDDING PLANNER, I hope you enjoy it!

You can still get hold of copies of ARE WE THERE, YETI? Here's the information of what it's all about, where to get it and what it costs...

ARE WE THERE, YETI? contains over 100 pieces, mostly short stories, a few sketches and a dozen or so poems. Some of them a funny, some sad, some quirky, some plain creepy. They are stories that Paul Chandler (a.k.a. Shy Yeti) wrote between July and December 2011; much of it during his summer and autumn trips to the States. Poems include: GLUE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART, NEVER TRUST A SKINNY FISH AND CHIP MAN, INVITE A YETI ROUND FOR TEA, IS IT CHRISTMAS ALREADY!?, JOHN – I’M ONLY RHYMING, MY LONG LOST FRIEND and the title verse. Stories include: THE CREEPY SHOW, A CUP OF SUGAR, RATTLESNAKES, SANTA’S BIT ON THE SIDE and A YETI HISTORY LESSON OF HOLLYWOOD.

Paperback edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/are-we-there-yeti/12734066

Hardback edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/are-we-there-yeti/13615283

Thanks to everybody who has already bought their copies of the book! Your support is very much appreciated, as are all the kind words of encouragement that I've received since it was published.

Next week, we'll be looking forward to another SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode, not to mention my forthcoming trip to the Shetland Isles at the start of June.

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS This week I've finished a new poem called HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART... It's a bit of a quirky, bitter/sweet, silly, horrible and slightly reflective piece. It's basically about watching ghouls in a graveyard with somebody you care for and realising that perhaps you'll never be able to leave.

THE WEDDING PLANNER


Phil was mortified. He hadn’t known how to explain himself. He’d well and truly mucked up in his role of wedding planner for two of his oldest University friends, Josie and Stuart. It was only two days until the wedding and not knowing what to do – he had approached Josie to tell her his problem; he daren’t even admit it to Stuart for fear of how he would react. Would Josie be any more understanding?

“Josie, love – I’m so sorry... I’ve been trying to get things fixed, but I may have left it too late...”

“What happened?” Josie sighed, trying to keep calm. “You forgot to arrange food for the veggie guests?” Phil shook his head. “The flowers weren’t ordered?”

“No, it’s not that...”

“You’ve never forgotten to hire the string quartet for the reception?”

“No, Josie... It’s way worse than that, I’m afraid!” Phil took a deep breath before explaining. “Somewhere along the way, what with all the forms we’ve filled in... Well, I just found out that rather than it being you and Stuart – the registry office actually thinks that you’re marrying ME!”

“Oh!” exclaimed Josie. Phil cringed, bracing himself for her fury, close to tears. “Oh! Oh well...” Josie added and then she smiled. “Never mind, aye? We don’t have to tell Stuart, do we? After all, I always did think that you had the nicer eyes!”

THE WEDDING PLANNER appears in ARE WE THERE, YETI!? by Paul Chandler - which was published in Spring 2013. This post and all content is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

A BIT LATE IN ARRIVING BUT FINALLY...

...SPRING HAS SPRUNG FOR MR YETI!

Hello beasties!!

Moving on, it's now time to unveil a new yeti video, this one is entitled SHY YETI'S SEARCH FOR SPRING...

This episode of SHY YETI ON LOCATION follows Shy Yeti's search for spring after a long-long winter. The video includes three poems: THE CALL OF THE MILD and KILLING TIME from 10 years ago and then a very new one called PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS - this episode also includes a prose piece called WE HAVE MICE... It stars Paul Chandler and was filmed in the London area over the Easter break in April 2013. Camera: Paul Chandler, Dominic McCauley and Calum Williamson. Editing: Paul Chandler. Music: Luca and Spooky Yeti. All Content of this film, especially the poems are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

Youtube: http://youtu.be/oT5Na9ri25c

Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/66134763

There are plenty of other episodes coming up - I'm currently working on SHY YETI - HOME AND AWAY, which I posted photos from the other week and I'm also hoping to get AN EPISODE WITHOUT A THEME 2 out before the end of May. After that I want to work on a live episode from last month's show and then also on the three or four part Lake District serial that I filmed last summer. I'll be filming up in Shetland in early June and then I'll be back in the Lake's themselves in July to film both the Halloween 2013 episode; probably involving "the ghost hunter" and maybe also some kind of lake-side diary episode. The other idea for an episode I had involved "puppy-walking" an inflatable dinosaur - which is a complete rip-off of one of my Sutton Park episodes from almost 20 years ago! It could be fun... As long as nobody gets scared! Three episodes sounds like quite enough for one holiday - but all completely different in style! I'll be editing the 2013 Summer Special whilst I'm up there too. I have another big trip planned during the summer break - but I'm keeping that under my hat for a while longer, I'm afraid.

As promised last week I've included a few photos from my SHY YETI INSPECTS THE COUNTRYSIDE episode which is still only half filmed - so won't be released for a while. I need to record another poem, a yeti dance and maybe one or two other silly sketches - but, as yet - don't have a particular location or date in mind for completing the episode. Still - no matter for the moment, there's no harm in seeing some of the photos in advance. Some of them come from a shoot in Box Hill late last month and the rest from my recent trip to Derbyshire; thanks to my old primary school friend, Paul Hillier for helping take some of those. Paul previously helped film some of the as-yet-unedited On Location series from The Lakes last August, as well as some scenes from Belper in Derbyshire which appeared during the 2012 Christmas Special.

SHY YETI INSPECTS THE COUNTRYSIDE...
PHOTO GALLERY

The photos from this gallery we taken in late April in the Box Hill area and in early May in various locations around the Derbyshire Dales. There is more filming still to be done for this episode - so more photos to follow at a later date, most probably. The other gentleman in this gallery (no, not the sheep...) is my friend Paul, as mentioned above.

EPISODE COMING SOON!!


Next week I'll be discussing the 10th anniversary release of GO 4TH AND DIVIDE which will be out at the end of the month, a little earlier than planned. But then, why not!? It's good to be early sometimes - especially as ARE WE THERE, YETI? came out late. Talking of which I may post something else from ARE WE THERE, YETI? too.

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

PS I've been musing over how I'd quite like to work on a quarterly project during 2014 which gets published in four small volumes before being compiled into one book at the end. It seems like a nice idea - although I've already got a backlog of books to work on - so we'll see closer to the time perhaps... I guess it doesn't have to be something that I start in January - it could cross 2014/15. I think it would probably be a mixture of prose and poetry and might well include a number of four part serials. Hmm... Now I'm getting ideas! *potters off to consider more*

PPS For those of you who followed the first series of my radio series BEAST OF FRIENDS I am pleased to announce that I have completed 7 of the 8 scripts for series 2. With a bit of luck series 2 will be out by the autumn.

All contents of this post are Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.

MORE ARTWORK FROM ADAM...

...AND A BRAND NEW PROSE PIECE...

Hello beasties!

This week I want to share another new piece that I finished just before Easter... But first of all - what do you think of the yeti that illustrates this particular post? Awesome, isn't it!?

It's another illustration by Adam M Botsford and it's for a daft ditty called ANOTHER YETI POEM from NOT AS SHY AS I WAS... You'll be seeing a lot more of Adam's work over the next few months, as I'm glad to say that he's accepted some more of my commissions for other poems, having completed the first six. More news as it happens, then but keep an eye out for Adam's blog: www.adambotsford.com as he often discusses all the projects that he's working on - not just mine; they're all very interesting and it's cool to see what he's up to.

I mentioned last week that I hoped to be filming in Derbyshire over the bank holiday weekend, so what exactly did I get up to? Well, I finished MY SELFISH CAT, which I began last Sunday on Box Hill - I also recorded another poem THE PICK-POCKETTING FOX in two sections. Location-wise I filmed near Tideswell, Belper and Monsal Dale. Annoyingly there is a poem from THE AUTUMNAL E.P. which was inspired to by walking the Monsal Trail back in 2003. I didn't have the text with me, but might get away with reading the actual poem in some other location and cutting it into all the footage that I took in Monsal Dale on Bank Holiday Monday. I do hope you enjoy all this - I climbed at least three hills this weekend! The episode is still not finished - I need to record, at least, one more poem and do a yeti dance and maybe a daft sketch too. Not sure quite when I'll finish this one - but hopefully sometime during May. There's no rush! I have plenty of other episodes to release first! I'll post a few photos from this filming session next week, once I've downloaded all the material.  I'll also try and decide on an exact title for this episode too, by then!

That's about it for this week, except for the new piece at the end of this post which is called A CULT FOLLOWING and won't be published in one of my collections until next year now.

Next week we'll turn our attention to a new SHY YETI ON LOCATION episode called SHY YETI'S SEARCH FOR SPRING...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx


A CULT FOLLOWING....



They tell me that I have a cult following...
I’m pretty sure that means that pretty much nobody liked me at first…
I'm the sort that gets ravaged by the critics because they don't understand me...
They think that I'm a mess... Well, I am a mess – but at least I’m fun...
But they don't like me, really rage against me and in my day I'm pretty much ignored...
But then, over time, they return to me – think again and may even change their minds...
Eventually, after half a dozen viewings they’ll declare me a masterpiece – a work of art!
Although, it's often in a slightly ironic sort of way; like some kind of guilty pleasure!
Even then it's still only a fond few that really know me who consider me a classic...
Still... Adoration is adoration and it shouldn't be scoffed at!


They tell me that I have a cult following...
Excited fans meet up to discuss me in hotels and get charged a fortune for doing so!
Some of them get drunk and dance enthusiastically at the very mention of me...
Some dress like me; I'm a Halloween favourite – I'm Dracula only more obscure...
Occasionally they invite me along to sit on a stage and to answer questions about myself...
It's a weird thing to do – but I guess I am hardly the first to undergo such interrogation...
Sure, I wasn't keen at first, but once I actually got there I really rather liked it...
They took photos of me, recorded me on their smart phones and asked for my autograph!
Best of all they applauded loudly at pretty much anything that I had to say...
A couple of men in their 40s, wearing tight jeans, even swooned when I walked by...


They tell me that I have a cult following...
Occasionally I am unearthed and commemorated…
I still have the sort of following that can work up a reasonable audience...
Enough to fill a large church hall or perhaps a carriage or two on the Orient Express...
People who have precious little knowledge of me still pretend that they know who I am...
But they only really do so because they don't want to look stupid,
I'm a name that they feel they should know but whom they’ll never bother to get to know...
When one of their crowd says my name wrong; they don't correct them, just think, “Idiot!”
I have the ability to conjure up excitement in some, yet most just couldn't give a damn.
I'm often mistaken for that other guy – the one who died, but was more famous than me.


They tell me that I have a cult following...
Students study me in minute depth on University courses...
They write essays and dissertations about me and nod knowingly at my lesser-known work.
They read academic tomes breaking me down into a list of major themes and sub-texts...
They analyse me in far greater detail than I have ever done myself...
Maybe there is more to me than even I ever realised – it is good for the ego, I guess.
Over-time I begin to appreciate myself a little more as I hear their conversations...
As they quote me enthusiastically around tables in small badly lit Union bars...
Their shared knowledge of me draws them closer to one another...
Occasionally it might even get them laid.

A CULT FOLLOWING will appear in Paul Chandler's first collection of 2014, exact title yet to be decided. All Content of this post is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.