A REVIEW OF NOVEMBER 2008!!

THE 100TH POST OF THIS POETIC BLOG!!!

Well, I've been saving this one up for a while - as I knew November would be busy and I also knew that the next thing I posted would be my 100th post on the blog since we began back in 2002. I won't be dwelling much at this stage on the past posts; however I am putting together a collection of all the poems that I've posted on this site over the years as a sort of retrospective and hope that'll be ready by next year. It's something I've been working on for a while and was intending to release after the 5th anniversary, last year - however it's been a bit of a back burner project and already we're nearly 2 years further down the line.

Anyway - it's been a busy month and so I'll just run you through some of it and include a new poem at the end!!

Wednesday 5th November 2008

Above. Busy on the radio again. This time in FM!

I returned to Radio Wey on this day and read the first chapter of one of my Mouse of Commons blog-adventures; GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE SANDCASTLE OF DOOM, as well as one of the new poems: THE BEAR WHO KNEW TOO MUCH, which I'd only written 2 or 3 days previously. Interviewing me was Tim Mitchell and Tim's other guests that evening were a band called The Red Stripes. We were also broadcast live on fm radio and I am told that we were live and loud as far away as a stand at an exhibition at Birmingham NEC. Which is kind of a nice thought considering my history of Birmingham and the years I spent running around the Midlands at University and beyond, filming my beloved Sutton Park series.

Thursday 6th November to Sunday 9th November 2008

Above. It would be wrong to say that I couldn't bear Oslo.

The day after the radio show, Calum, Neph and I travelled to Oslo, partly for my birthday and partly so that Neph could attend a heavy metal festival; although the band he had gone all the way to see actually never played. The weather was rather bleak and the food and drink rather expensive; but I did take a few nice photos - came up with plans for a future Mouse of Commons short story and completed one or two new poems; including one called SOLO IN OSLO...

Below. We saw all sorts of things in Oslo!

Monday 10th November 2008

My birthday! By this point we had returned to the UK and Calum and I travelled to Tunbridge Wells for a day trip and a swift burger at Gourmet Burger Kitchen. Sadly it was a rather wet old day and my duffle coat got so soaked that I was leaving little blue dye trails around the town and ended up having to buy new trousers. Just the same; I did complete a new poem called DISGUSTING OF TUNBRIDGE WELLS...

Friday 14th November to Saturday 15th November 2008

Unfortunately the book launch for GOSSIP FROM THE CHEESE COUNTER became a pre-book launch, as my proofreader, Chris, had started a busy new job and hadn't had enough time to finish all the checks. That said I had made up an unproofed copy for photo-opportunities and we returned to The Fitzroy Tavern on the friday (and again for a smaller affair on the saturday) to celebrate that and also my birthday; before going on to Popstarz for a bit of a boogie. GOSSIP FROM THE CHEESE COUNTER should be out before Christmas, but they'll be more news about that on the Mouse of Commons site soon.

Below. Lots of photos from around the time of the book launch. Thanks to Tom, Miles, Calum, Gibson, Gareth, Andrew, Harry, Steve, Neph, Ross and Lloyd and to everyone who came along to Popstarz afterwards.

Tuesday 18th November 2008

On Tuesday the 18th I headed to the Poetry Cafe near Covent Garden for their Open Mike night; which was very enjoyable and people seemed to enjoy the three poems that I read. I started with old favourite: THE TRUE LIGHT, before reading another very new poem CHILLI PEPPER FINGERS, before finishing with a more recent favourite: MY DOG IN A DRESS. Kirk did a video of my reading and I'll add a link below; thanks Kirk - I was really pleased with the video; actually I was really pleased with how much fun the whole evening was! I'm DEFINITELY going again!! :)

http://www.vimeo.com/2364144

Wednesday 19th - Thursday 20th November 2008

Above. Before the library conference...

I attended a library conference on these days in Guildford, but there was quite a lot of waiting around involved and I wrote a whole host of new poems during the two days and have continued to do so when I returned. New titles include: ANNABEL LUCRETIA, THE BALLAD OF SIR SIMON DE YETI, CREDIT-CRUNCH BOY-BAND, THE CURSE OF LOVELY LOLA, THE DAGENHAM DIVA, FRONT PAGE NEWS, GOLD-DIGGER, NICE TO KNOW, NIGHTSHADE, OH NIGHTSHADE, OLDER, NOT WISER, PLANET ADMIN, POSITION CLOSED, SEXY EXECUTIVE, TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN and A WASP IN A WIG...

Above. After the library conference...

I intend to start December off on a positive note by signing up for the next open mike session at the Poetry Cafe on Tuesday 2nd December and also working hard to get the next collection completed. I already have over 40 new pieces and am busy working on more this week and so, at this rate, I would expect to have the new book ready by February/March 2008, rather than by the summer.

Here's one of the new poems and a little bit topical, it is too - being that we are entering winter...

I began this one in February 2007, but it never really properly got off the ground...

I hope you like it!!

Thanks for everyone's support and keep reading and checking the blog over the next few months, years, decades, centuries; won't you?

Paul x


TOO SLUSHY FOR SNOWMEN…

It’s TOO slushy for snowmen…
They just sit around, it’s cruel…
Bits that once were firm fall off of them…
And they just slosh around in a pool!
It’s not fair on them, even slightly…
What sort of career path, now, is that?
When it’s TOO slushy for a snowman…
And their head melts inside their hat!


It’s TOO slushy for snowmen…
All the Christmas carols people hum…
But very soon there comes a thaw –
Then they must know the end has come…
They must know their time is fleeting!
When their noses start to run…
When it’s TOO slushy for snowmen;
Well, they curse that dratted sun!


It’s TOO slushy for snowmen…
They’re praying for the frost!
But with all these nasty milder winters;
All hope, my friend, it’s swiftly lost!
A snowball mind it floods with panic…
Suddenly life becomes a muddle!
When it’s TOO slushy for snowmen;
Well, very soon you’re just a puddle…

NEW POEM - HOT OFF THE PRESS: YOU ARE CAT-NIP TO ME...

Hello!

I think it is best that I point out, first of all, that there are no cats involved in this poem at all. However, I did think that I might share with you a few pictures of two random cats which I met whilst I was travelling in Spain, recently. The one above tried to nip my friend Neph, actually. But no harm was done. He's a cutey really. The cat, not Neph. Neph's alright, I suppose... hehe. Sorry Neph! I don't mean it! Anyway really the poem more is less concerned with felines themselves and more with their reaction to cat-nip or nepeta; which most cats seem to adore. I thought it would be fun to write a poem about somebody who finds another person quite irresistible and to compare them to cat-nip.

You can read more about the effects of cat-nip/cat-mint/nepeta at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nepeta

Anyway, this piece is a new poem, hot off the press - I only wrote it on the train into work, this morning. It will probably appear in the new book of poems: IF POEMS WERE PIES in 2009; of which I have already written about 20 poems, so far. YOU ARE CAT-NIP TO ME is a little bit racy compared to my recent fare and was written for a friend. I had some really nice comments from friends who have read it, so far, today and so I have decided to share it with you.

According to Blogger, this is the 99th post on this site since I began it in April 2002 - so the next one will my century!! I'd better make it a good one...

Enjoy the poem - but before I go I would just like to publically wish my fabulous and perfect cat, Mr Deeley, a happy 4th birthday. I was away in Spain and so missed the terrific party that my flatmate, Calum, threw for the boy's big day. Apparently 4 in cat years is 32 in our years!! He's so grown up now!!

Anyway, more soon!


Paul xx



YOU ARE CAT-NIP TO ME…
(21/10/2008)


You are cat-nip to me…
I don't mean you're a plant…
That is grown in the garden -
By some poor maiden aunt!
I just mean I'm attracted…
In a way that I'm liking…
You are cat-nip to me…
And you're beefy - you're striking!
In a way beyond logic…
You send my brain in a whirr…
You are cuddle contagious…
I'm even starting to purr!
May my dreams every night…
Be just you; in the buff...
You are cat-nip to me…
I simply can't get enough…

You are cat-nip to me…
Yes, you make my heart flutter…
May I please to seduce you…
Might I drench you in butter?
But you're naturally yummy…
Yes, and juicy as hell…
You are cat-nip to me…
And you do it so well!
Yes, my knees go all shaky…
And my heart skips a beat…
I get hot; I get sweaty…
Like some old dog in heat…
You are cat-nip to me…
You are woofy; I'm mew-wy…
If you were a cool cartoon character -
You would be Hong Kong Phooey…

You are cat-nip to me…
I have a reaction that's strong…
You give out a sweet scent…
Which in no way is a pong!
I just can't get my fill -
Of your bits, oh so naughty…
You are cat-nip to me…
Soon I'll be pushing forty…
You're alluring; mysterious…
You look fabulous naked…
If you rolled in a puddle -
You'd look great; muddy cake-d…
You are better than thyme,
Twelve times better than clover…
You are cat-nip to me…
Might I kiss you all over?

You are cat-nip to me…
You make me ever-so flirty…
The things I'd like us to do…
They are really quite dirty…
But not in a bad way…
I've a particular theme…
You are cat-nip to me…
Can I bring squirty cream?
Can I bring something slinky?
My mind spins on its axis…
Something flimsy to tear off…
Velcro-lined; for quick access…
You are cat-nip to me…
I will answer all phone calls…
Now I'm done with life's kittens…
So, will you show me your fur-balls?

Here are some more photos of Spanish cats that I met on my recent trip. I would like to emphasize that none of them produced any - erm - fur-balls. At least, not to my knowledge.

SOME MORE VIDEOS...

I recorded three new poems yesterday, from my 2002/2003 compilation collection: THIRD & 4TH TIMES LUCKY and I intend to post them up on here. The first one is a piece from 2002 called GOOD HUG and you can watch it here - I'll post the other two later this week! Thanks to Kirk for his help with the recording! :)

Enjoy!!!

Paul x

OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER!! NEW POEM!!

Hello,

I have another new poem for you all, hot off the press. I've been writing quite a few new ones this last fortnight and am currently working on some poems with the following titles: REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED..., PLANET ADMIN, I DON'T FEEL THAT KIND OF LOVE ANYMORE, MY DEAD DAD, DAZZLE THEM WITH YOUR BEAUTY, THE BALLAD OF SIR SIMON DE YETI, THE LULLABY OF THE HAGGISH and A WASP IN A WIG. These are all ones I'm working on and are not yet complete...

The piece I want to post today, however, is pretty much complete - although it is a first draft; but I don't think I'll change much before it appears in my next book of poems sometime in 2009, hopefully.

It's called OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER and was written last night in the O'Neill's Bar in Woking, whilst my friends Julie, James and Calum watched the Spurs Vs Newcastle Match. (I'm told Spurs won 2-1, but I was too poetically challenged at the time to notice!!)

Anyway - enjoy the new poem. :)

Paul x

OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER…
(24/09/2008)

You’re old enough to know better…
Riding naked upon your Lambretta…
Flashing your modesty freely…
Or molesting the Bishop of Ely!
As you simper and smile at him sweetly…
Well, you’re letting the side down;
Completely.

You are old enough, but you’re naughty…
If you’re caught – you act outraged and haughty!
You look cross and pretend you’re not fickle!
Whilst your fingers reach in for a tickle…
You are filthy – a stranger to culture…
You are greedy; like some sex-obsessed vulture!

You are old enough to know manners…
So stop stalking me waving those banners…
Shouting; “You can have me; but can you afford me?
If you can then please rampantly board me…”
You old harlot, you, ever so slutty…
Like an acorn you’re round and you’re nutty…

You are old enough to make trouble…
To reduce solid fixtures to rubble…
To send shivers down spines made of iron…
To shake shoulders constructed to cry on…
Seems you scare all the bold and the plucky…
With insinuations that border on mucky…

You are old enough to set an example…
Not to be breathalised or giving a sample…
You’re so wicked you make devils embarrassed…
You make freaks feel unsettled and harassed…
You get worse every day; not for turning…
One would hope there’s some lesson you’re learning…

You are old enough to know better…
On the prowl with your faithful red setter…
On the pull though you’re quite prehistoric…
Really scary and twee and demonic…
Out there doing things I dare not to mention…
You should know better; you're drawing a pension...

Thanks to Kirk R. for taking the photo. Copyright 2008.

NEW POEM - HOT OFF THE PRESS!!

Hi,

This is a new poem, just finished today - and only really a first draft and will hopefully appear in my next full collection in 2009, tentatively entitled PIE-TRY IN MOTION. It's a bit like a Guy Ritchie film. In rhyme. Actually, it's probably nothing like one at all - but it is about revenge. Best served cold, of course - rather like certain tasty pies, as it happens! :) Oh yes!

If you've not seen the photos from the recent book launch then please see the previous post.

Enjoy!

Paul x

SWAGGER
(16/09/08)

He's got a definite swagger…
The way that he walks…
Charms all whom he speaks with…
It’s just the way that he talks!
It's the way that he woos them…
The way he can smile…
They dream he's their future…
Soon to head up that aisle…
He's got a definite something –
That is hard to surmise!
From the cut of his suit –
To the shoes that he buys…
He's got a glint in his eye…
He's a born again blagger…
As he dives on the dance-floor;
With his signature swagger…

He's got a nonchalant saunter…
Like the cat with the cream –
He's some poor girl's worst nightmare!
He's some brother's wet dream…
He's so full of himself –
But he won't fill up you;
Like a balloon keeps inflating;
His ego just grew.
He might miss your birthday –
But he won't miss a trick…
Needs his attitude punctured –
What a smooth-talking prick…
He's got his master-plan sorted –
His wit sharp as a dagger…
Thinks he's Mister Terrific!
Cheap celebrity shagger…

He's got a self-satisfied stride…
But let's see his mask slip!
Kick him hard in the ankles…
Just to see that brat trip!
He's just too picture perfect…
He's just built to annoy…
I'll get his blood on my hands -
But keep playing it coy…
Let him have his cruel fun!
Let the man misbehave…
I've been down in the woods -
Digging him a nice shallow grave…
Such a talentless freak;
Sweet invincible bragger…
Well, I'm removing the skip -
From his insufferable swagger…

He's got an arrogant swagger -
But he's run out of time…
It is some kind of miracle -
That he's not seen the sign…
Well, I'm getting the boys in…
And he's set in their sights…
When he ripped out my heart -
He went and checked out his rights…
See him choke in disgust…
On the bitter sweet taste -
Of his own medicine -
All the air that he stole was a terrible waste…
Put a gun to his head…
See the fear in his stagger…
A quick tweak of the trigger should -
Soon put an end to his swagger...

Thanks to Chris and Amber for the use of the photo of their fox; Fleabag - who also appears in a forthcoming Mouse of Commons story. I thought the character in the poem was probably as cunning as a fox. Hence the connection! :)

THE FIRST AND SECOND BOOK LAUNCH PARTIES - 2008

Location: Fitzroy Tavern, London and Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London
Date: Friday 5th and Saturday 6th September 2008

Well! It happened - on the 5th and 6th September 2008, I finally had the launch party for my most recent two Mouse of Commons books: GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS THROWS IT ALL AWAY and THE FURTHER SQUEAKS OF GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS. More importantly for this site I also launch the 3 latest poetry books: the new collection - SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION, WOOED AWAKENINGS and WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS.

Thanks to everyone who came along and all those who sent messages of apology for not being able to make it. Thanks also to all of you who bought copies of the books and the cool comments I've had back from you already about the ones you bought.

The next book launch will be to celebrate the launch of the next Mouse of Commons book: GOSSIP FROM THE CHEESE COUNTER and also to belatedly go for drinks for my birthday. At the moment I'm setting it for around 14th/15th November - more details when I have them. :)

The photos relating to the new Mouse collections can be found on www.mouseofcommons.blogspot.com

Further photos can be found on my Facebook Fan Page at: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=69018&l =0d6d3&id=650936342

I hope you enjoy the photos!

Thanks again to everyone!

Paul x


Above. The Fitzroy Tavern, London


Above. Calum and Miles investigate two of the new poetry books.


Above. Robert is very sympathetic about Harry's inability to master reading properly.


Above. Paul and Harry and the poetry books - either way up they're a good read. :)


Above. Gibson is a little uncertain at Paul's new book, at first - but eventually gives in and buys it. Yay!


Above. Carlos was busy admiring all the piccies of Deeley in the book - as Carlos owns Deeley's mum, Juanita.


Above. Miles, Glyn and Gibson and a mixture of books.


Above. Eliot is a little bit blurred, but that's the cameraman's fault - not Eliot's.


Above. Paul remains composed, whilst Gibson contemplates a new dance move.


Above. Tom proofread the newest of the poetry collections. Hoorah!


Above. Paul suffers for his art.


Above. Gibson does debonair...


Above. ...But then makes up for it with plain daft, by the time Lloyd arrives.


Above. Tom, Lloyd and Paul...


Above. Luke and Paul.


Above. Gibson and Paul!


Above. A flyer for the new poetry collection.


Above. Robert and Paul try a crazy new dance.


Above. Paul teaches Tom the moves to "Walk Like An Egyptian"!!


Above. Luke and Tom both appear in photos in this new collection.


Above. The three amigos at the end of day 1 of the book launch: Tom, Robert and Paul.


Above. Day 2 of the book launch and Nick came all the way from Salisbury for the day. :)


Above. Lloyd reappeared on Day 2 to make a purchase. Thanks Lloyd!


Above. Pete and Julie asked me to write a poem for their wedding; I did and it's now in the new poetry collection, along with some of their wedding photos.


Above. This is where we had the book launch last September.


Above. Jamie showed up at the last minute!