SOME MORE VIDEOS...

I recorded three new poems yesterday, from my 2002/2003 compilation collection: THIRD & 4TH TIMES LUCKY and I intend to post them up on here. The first one is a piece from 2002 called GOOD HUG and you can watch it here - I'll post the other two later this week! Thanks to Kirk for his help with the recording! :)

Enjoy!!!

Paul x

OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER!! NEW POEM!!

Hello,

I have another new poem for you all, hot off the press. I've been writing quite a few new ones this last fortnight and am currently working on some poems with the following titles: REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED..., PLANET ADMIN, I DON'T FEEL THAT KIND OF LOVE ANYMORE, MY DEAD DAD, DAZZLE THEM WITH YOUR BEAUTY, THE BALLAD OF SIR SIMON DE YETI, THE LULLABY OF THE HAGGISH and A WASP IN A WIG. These are all ones I'm working on and are not yet complete...

The piece I want to post today, however, is pretty much complete - although it is a first draft; but I don't think I'll change much before it appears in my next book of poems sometime in 2009, hopefully.

It's called OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER and was written last night in the O'Neill's Bar in Woking, whilst my friends Julie, James and Calum watched the Spurs Vs Newcastle Match. (I'm told Spurs won 2-1, but I was too poetically challenged at the time to notice!!)

Anyway - enjoy the new poem. :)

Paul x

OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER…
(24/09/2008)

You’re old enough to know better…
Riding naked upon your Lambretta…
Flashing your modesty freely…
Or molesting the Bishop of Ely!
As you simper and smile at him sweetly…
Well, you’re letting the side down;
Completely.

You are old enough, but you’re naughty…
If you’re caught – you act outraged and haughty!
You look cross and pretend you’re not fickle!
Whilst your fingers reach in for a tickle…
You are filthy – a stranger to culture…
You are greedy; like some sex-obsessed vulture!

You are old enough to know manners…
So stop stalking me waving those banners…
Shouting; “You can have me; but can you afford me?
If you can then please rampantly board me…”
You old harlot, you, ever so slutty…
Like an acorn you’re round and you’re nutty…

You are old enough to make trouble…
To reduce solid fixtures to rubble…
To send shivers down spines made of iron…
To shake shoulders constructed to cry on…
Seems you scare all the bold and the plucky…
With insinuations that border on mucky…

You are old enough to set an example…
Not to be breathalised or giving a sample…
You’re so wicked you make devils embarrassed…
You make freaks feel unsettled and harassed…
You get worse every day; not for turning…
One would hope there’s some lesson you’re learning…

You are old enough to know better…
On the prowl with your faithful red setter…
On the pull though you’re quite prehistoric…
Really scary and twee and demonic…
Out there doing things I dare not to mention…
You should know better; you're drawing a pension...

Thanks to Kirk R. for taking the photo. Copyright 2008.

NEW POEM - HOT OFF THE PRESS!!

Hi,

This is a new poem, just finished today - and only really a first draft and will hopefully appear in my next full collection in 2009, tentatively entitled PIE-TRY IN MOTION. It's a bit like a Guy Ritchie film. In rhyme. Actually, it's probably nothing like one at all - but it is about revenge. Best served cold, of course - rather like certain tasty pies, as it happens! :) Oh yes!

If you've not seen the photos from the recent book launch then please see the previous post.

Enjoy!

Paul x

SWAGGER
(16/09/08)

He's got a definite swagger…
The way that he walks…
Charms all whom he speaks with…
It’s just the way that he talks!
It's the way that he woos them…
The way he can smile…
They dream he's their future…
Soon to head up that aisle…
He's got a definite something –
That is hard to surmise!
From the cut of his suit –
To the shoes that he buys…
He's got a glint in his eye…
He's a born again blagger…
As he dives on the dance-floor;
With his signature swagger…

He's got a nonchalant saunter…
Like the cat with the cream –
He's some poor girl's worst nightmare!
He's some brother's wet dream…
He's so full of himself –
But he won't fill up you;
Like a balloon keeps inflating;
His ego just grew.
He might miss your birthday –
But he won't miss a trick…
Needs his attitude punctured –
What a smooth-talking prick…
He's got his master-plan sorted –
His wit sharp as a dagger…
Thinks he's Mister Terrific!
Cheap celebrity shagger…

He's got a self-satisfied stride…
But let's see his mask slip!
Kick him hard in the ankles…
Just to see that brat trip!
He's just too picture perfect…
He's just built to annoy…
I'll get his blood on my hands -
But keep playing it coy…
Let him have his cruel fun!
Let the man misbehave…
I've been down in the woods -
Digging him a nice shallow grave…
Such a talentless freak;
Sweet invincible bragger…
Well, I'm removing the skip -
From his insufferable swagger…

He's got an arrogant swagger -
But he's run out of time…
It is some kind of miracle -
That he's not seen the sign…
Well, I'm getting the boys in…
And he's set in their sights…
When he ripped out my heart -
He went and checked out his rights…
See him choke in disgust…
On the bitter sweet taste -
Of his own medicine -
All the air that he stole was a terrible waste…
Put a gun to his head…
See the fear in his stagger…
A quick tweak of the trigger should -
Soon put an end to his swagger...

Thanks to Chris and Amber for the use of the photo of their fox; Fleabag - who also appears in a forthcoming Mouse of Commons story. I thought the character in the poem was probably as cunning as a fox. Hence the connection! :)

THE FIRST AND SECOND BOOK LAUNCH PARTIES - 2008

Location: Fitzroy Tavern, London and Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London
Date: Friday 5th and Saturday 6th September 2008

Well! It happened - on the 5th and 6th September 2008, I finally had the launch party for my most recent two Mouse of Commons books: GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS THROWS IT ALL AWAY and THE FURTHER SQUEAKS OF GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS. More importantly for this site I also launch the 3 latest poetry books: the new collection - SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION, WOOED AWAKENINGS and WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS.

Thanks to everyone who came along and all those who sent messages of apology for not being able to make it. Thanks also to all of you who bought copies of the books and the cool comments I've had back from you already about the ones you bought.

The next book launch will be to celebrate the launch of the next Mouse of Commons book: GOSSIP FROM THE CHEESE COUNTER and also to belatedly go for drinks for my birthday. At the moment I'm setting it for around 14th/15th November - more details when I have them. :)

The photos relating to the new Mouse collections can be found on www.mouseofcommons.blogspot.com

Further photos can be found on my Facebook Fan Page at: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=69018&l =0d6d3&id=650936342

I hope you enjoy the photos!

Thanks again to everyone!

Paul x


Above. The Fitzroy Tavern, London


Above. Calum and Miles investigate two of the new poetry books.


Above. Robert is very sympathetic about Harry's inability to master reading properly.


Above. Paul and Harry and the poetry books - either way up they're a good read. :)


Above. Gibson is a little uncertain at Paul's new book, at first - but eventually gives in and buys it. Yay!


Above. Carlos was busy admiring all the piccies of Deeley in the book - as Carlos owns Deeley's mum, Juanita.


Above. Miles, Glyn and Gibson and a mixture of books.


Above. Eliot is a little bit blurred, but that's the cameraman's fault - not Eliot's.


Above. Paul remains composed, whilst Gibson contemplates a new dance move.


Above. Tom proofread the newest of the poetry collections. Hoorah!


Above. Paul suffers for his art.


Above. Gibson does debonair...


Above. ...But then makes up for it with plain daft, by the time Lloyd arrives.


Above. Tom, Lloyd and Paul...


Above. Luke and Paul.


Above. Gibson and Paul!


Above. A flyer for the new poetry collection.


Above. Robert and Paul try a crazy new dance.


Above. Paul teaches Tom the moves to "Walk Like An Egyptian"!!


Above. Luke and Tom both appear in photos in this new collection.


Above. The three amigos at the end of day 1 of the book launch: Tom, Robert and Paul.


Above. Day 2 of the book launch and Nick came all the way from Salisbury for the day. :)


Above. Lloyd reappeared on Day 2 to make a purchase. Thanks Lloyd!


Above. Pete and Julie asked me to write a poem for their wedding; I did and it's now in the new poetry collection, along with some of their wedding photos.


Above. This is where we had the book launch last September.


Above. Jamie showed up at the last minute!

WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO WITH ME POEMS...

Hello,

I've been a very bad poet and not updated the blog in a little while and also - I've failed to mention that I did actually record those new poems that I threatened to record about a month or so ago for the www.vimeo.com/shyyeti site.

In the end I recorded:

PICCADILLY CIRCUS
RECKLESSLY
CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND
THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU
I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES
A VOICE IN HIS HEAD
THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR
THE TRUE LIGHT
MY DOG IN A DRESS

Not to mention a 2 part Mouse of Commons short story.

As I've not been promoting the new videos so much their ratings haven't been as good as the first batch, but even though there is a difference in how long the two batches of videos have been available I have compiled an updated list of their ratings as of today. I'm not sure if it's just because it's at the top of the list - but PICCADILLY CIRCUS is getting the highest ratings out of the new batch, so far.

Since I last posted I've been working on a couple of new poems, but am mostly working on the next Mouse of Commons novel: GOSSIP FROM THE CHEESE COUNTER and looking forward to my book launch weekend on the 5th and 6th September, of which there will be photos nearer the time.

Anyway - for now - have fun and if you have time then please do take a peep at the new videos, please.

Thankyou!

Paul x

WWW.VIMEO.COM VIDEO RATINGS

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 112 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 102 Views
3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 48 Views
4th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 39 Views
5th MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 37 Views
6th LITTLE PIG - 36 Views
7th PICCADILLY CIRCUS - 26 views
8th YETI SPAGHETTI OUTTAKES - 25 views
= 10th RECKLESSLY - 10 views
= 10th I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES - 10 views
= 12th MY DOG IN A DRESS - 9 views
= 12th THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU - 9 views
13th CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND - 8 views
14th THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR - 6 views
= 16th A VOICE IN HIS HEAD - 5 views
= 16th THE TRUE LIGHT - 5 views

MISTER YETI RECORDS MORE POEM VIDS SOON!!!

Hopefully tomorrow I should be recording some more poetry videos - I'm not sure which ones will get done; but the ones I'm hoping to record include...

MY DOG IN A DRESS
THE SORRY TALE OF FRED THE DINOSAUR
CRASHTESTBOYFRIEND
I AM NEVER INVITED TO ORGIES
THE TRUE LIGHT
PICCADILLY CIRCUS
THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU
A VOICE IN HIS HEAD

...and possibly the Mouse of Commons short story: THE DAY CHARLIE GRRR ATE CHRISTMAS!!

There's a new video up on the site, of out-takes from Yeti Spaghetti: http://www.vimeo.com/1317151

Ratings on 25/06/2008

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 54 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 47 Views
=3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 26 Views
=3rd MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 26 Views
5th LITTLE PIG - 15 Views
6th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 13 Views

Ratings on 06/07/2008

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 81 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 64 Views
3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 34 Views
4th MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 33 Views
5th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 30 Views
6th LITTLE PIG - 24 Views

Ratings on 14/07/2008

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 111 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 97 Views
3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 44 Views
4th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 36 Views
5th MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 34 Views
6th LITTLE PIG - 33 Views

Well, the news is that through a mixture of intensive promotion on Facebook I have managed to get UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE over the 100 mark and am nearly there with GO-GO BEAR too. Not only that, but YOU CRAMP MY STYLE has gone up from 6th place to 4th. My goodness - it really is like Top of The Pops. Not to mention that the out-takes video has already been watched by 18 viewers in 4 days.

More news when I've made the videos! :)

Paul x

PS The photo posted today is a little old - but was taken in Amsterdam in November 2005 and taken by my friend Baz...

PPS I'm going back again very soon - cue more stories/poems!?!

Hi,

Since I last posted on the 25th June, on the day I appeared on Radio Wey, the ratings have rocketed up well. :)

I've been talking with Owen about recording more videos in a week or so; I have in mind 3 or 4 poems and maybe a Mouse of Commons short story - depending on how much we can get done. :)

Anyway - more news on that when they're done. For now; the ratings for the vimeo videos are below and don't forget - if you've not seen them they are on www.vimeo.com/shyyeti :)

Ratings on 25/06/2008

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 54 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 47 Views
=3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 26 Views
=3rd MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 26 Views
5th LITTLE PIG - 15 Views
6th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 13 Views

Ratings on 06/07/2008

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 81 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 64 Views
3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 34 Views
4th MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 33 Views
5th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 30 Views
6th LITTLE PIG - 24 Views

More Soon!!

Paul :) x

Hi,

6 years, 7 months and 1 week ago (18th November 2001!) I last appeared on RADIO WEY http://www.radioweyonline.co.uk/, with my friend Tim Mitchell who has been part of the team for over 20 years. So, between 18:00-19:00, between other items we discussed my writing, www.lulu.com, the videos I've recorded lately, the story behind the creation of The Mouse of Commons, the inspiration for , my blogsites, new books and what I think about the future of publishing! (Obviously I said self-publishing is best!) :)

I read two poems in the end; YETI SPAGHETTI and LITTLE PIG and even got to choose two of the tunes that were played: Manic Monday, by The Bangles and Union City Blue, by Blondie.

We took loads of photos - some of them I'll post tonight and some in the next few weeks on here and also on www.mouseofcommons.blogspot.com as we also discussed Gladstone McWhiskers in equal measures to the poetry.

Thanks to Tim for inviting me on his show - hopefully it won't be another 6 and a half years until I return, as it was really good fun! :)

I leave you with Tim's preview to my visit, as I was billed on the Radio Wey website and also with some of the photos.

Enjoy!

Paul :)

CHIT-CHAT - 6.00pm on Wednesday 25th June with Tim Mitchell and guest, local author, Paul Chandler. Paul has written numerous books including his popular Mouse of Commons books. On the show he'll be chatting about his humourous books and reading some of his witty poems.

PHOTOS FROM THE SHOW NIGHT - BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER!!!

I was a little nervous before-hand, as you can see (!!), but soon got into my stride. :) Tim is in the photo 4 pictures down, by the way.

NEW POEMS!!! VIMEO RATINGS!!! RADIO UPDATE!!!

Hi,

Another busy week. I've been busy writing some new poems; one of which - A VOICE IN HIS HEAD, I finished last friday and have posted here.

I'm also reading on hospital radio tonight - so hopefully I will report back on that. I'm hoping to read some of the new ones liked LITTLE PIG and YETI SPAGHETTI and maybe a couple of older ones from the last couple of books. If I get a chance I'll take a photo. :)

The other piece of good news is that as of this very minute we've had 181 viewings of the vimeo.com videos. (I've put a link at the side of this blog so they can be viewed at any time.) So far the most popular poems are as follows:

1st THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE - 54 Views
2nd THE BALLAD OF THE GO-GO BEAR - 47 Views
=3rd YETI SPAGHETTI - 26 Views
=3rd MY MOMENT IS NOW!! - 26 Views
5th LITTLE PIG - 15 Views
6th YOU CRAMP MY STYLE - 13 Views

It's like Top of the Pop - but poetic! :) hehe.

Since they were posted up last week we've had the following viewing figures:

Wed 18 June 08 : 47 Viewers
Thu 19 June 08 : 34 Viewers
Fri 20 June 08 : 09 Viewers
Sat 21 June 08 : 19 Viewers
Sun 22 June 08 : 16 Viewers
Mon 23 June 08 : 13 Viewers
Tue 24 June 08 : 43 Viewers

Thanks for everyone who's watched them - keep on watching. Oh go on, please!

As soon as Owen returns from his trip away we should be recording some more and maybe one of the shorter Mouse of Commons stories for the Mouse blogsite.

Don't forget the new book is available from lulu.com at: http://www.lulu.com/content/2539199

Anyway, here's the new poem.

Paul x

A VOICE IN HIS HEAD…

There was a voice in his head –
But he mostly ignored it…
It only told him the weather;
And he quickly became bored with it…
But it always said “Bless you…”
When he let out a sneeze…
And sometimes read him the menu…
From the chip-shop or Chinese…
Sometimes it gave him the news –
Or his horoscope sign…
Or debated poor Britain’s –
Sad social decline…
Or flattered his dress sense…
Or laughed at his jokes!
Or answered his emails –
And all his rude Facebook pokes…
So, as time swiftly passed…
And his ego was fed…
He relied all the more…
On that voice in his head.

There was a voice in his head…
It chattered on without end…
And in time, it became –
Yes, his very best friend!
It became like a mentor…
Gave advice when required!
And he’d oft let it speak for him –
When he grew overtired…
Well, they gossiped together…
And they bitched; oh, so bitter…
Looked down from ivory towers…
And both let out a titter…
The voice whispered so secretly…
But who knows what about…
It was oh, so persuasive…
It had sown seeds of doubt…
Such words made him so angry…
And he began to see red…
Enraged by the lies –
From that voice in his head…

There was a voice in his head;
With an accent of spite…
Could it be they’d fall out?
Well, it seemed they just might!
Their discussions transformed;
Well, they both disagreed.
Such an unhealthy friendship –
Which he just didn’t need…
The voice started to mock him;
And acted ever-so rash…
And turned on him; angry –
As quick as a flash!
So, the fury it flew…
Such an unpleasant fight…
“If I asked you to leave;
Do you think that you might?”
He did order his muse…
And it’s taunting fell dead…
A sudden silence remained…
Gone – the voice in his head!

There was a voice in his head…
Which rose up to a shout!
It had driven him crazy…
So, he’d driven it out!
It had filled him with fear;
With a rage that dispersed…
But he soon really missed it;
The voice that once he had cursed!
In secret he prayed;
That they’d be reunited…
He begged in his dreams;
And he grew quite excited!
“Very well…” said the voice.
Crisp and clear as a bell.
“Let us make up; not break up!
I’ve missed you, as well…”
Those words from his saviour…
No longer filled him with dread!
Now he realised;
He just couldn’t live without –
That sly voice in his head…

A VOICE IN HIS HEAD - Copyright Paul Chandler, 2008.

PAUL RECORDS NEW POEMS FOR WWW.VIMEO.COM/SHYYETI SITE

Hi,

I've recorded 6 of the new poems from the SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION book and posted them on my new VIMEO profile.

The poems I have read are YETI SPAGHETTI, YOU CRAMP MY STYLE, THE BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR..., MY MOMENT IS NOW!!!, LITTLE PIG and THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE.

Here are some stills from the videos; the full videos can be viewed on www.vimeo.com/shyyeti










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: YETI SPAGHETTI










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: YOU CRAMP MY STYLE!!










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: THE BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR...










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: MY MOMENT IS NOW!!!










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: LITTLE PIG










FROM THE VIDEO FOR: THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE

Not only can you watch the videos on www.vimeo.com/shyyeti - but I have posted one of them (LITTLE PIG) at the end of this post.

Thanks to Owen for all his help with the videos!!

I hope you enjoy them!!!

Yeti hugs,

Paul x

PS I am also due to be reading some of the new poems on local hospital radio next wednesday - so more about that if and when it happens, nearer the time.