SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION: NEW BOOK IS RELEASED...

Okay... So, the new book was due out on the 29th May, but I sat up really late to finish it last night! So, it's ready - mainly thanks to the busy proofreading of Mr Tom Crittenden, who helped me make the final changes on Tuesday night...

There are 3 versions available on www.lulu.com.

A B&W paperback edition for £8.99, which can be found at http://www.lulu.com/content/2539199

A colour paperback edition for £19.99, which can be found at http://www.lulu.com/content/2551422

A colour hardback edition for £24.99, which can be found at http://www.lulu.com/content/2539507

Each edition has a different cover, using various photos which appeared in the cover choice poll in my photo section.

Check out the books and the covers! :)

By the way - we now have more than 50 members in the Facebook fan club! So, thanks everyone for joining! :) The link is http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=13952461897

I'll post another of the new poems next week.

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. Additionally, I'll be selling copies at my book launch - which will probably be in August or September. I've not decided yet. I know, it's a while off - but I want to have a book party for this book and the two new Mouse of Commons books all at the same time. More details when I have them. :)

P.P.S. I'll be reading some of my new poems on local hospital radio on Wednesday 25th June. More on that nearer the time.

P.P.P.S. I'm hoping to record a CD of the poems in this book sometime over the summer. Those who have heard my SHY YETI'S FINEST HOME-BREWED VERSE CD have given me enough kind encouragement to make me want to record a second CD. Thanks everyone, I'm looking forward to doing another. :)

P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for waffling - it's very late! :) *growl*

Hi,

The new books of poems is almost done and should be available to purchase from Friday 30th May 2008.

Here's a further glimpse of the cover.

More soon!!

Paul x

Hi!

Just to let everyone know that the new book of verse is up on Lulu.com. I've just sent off for my finished copies to see what it looks like; so it's not officially launched yet. Some friends have asked when they can buy it; I wouldn't yet - until I've seen my copy - incase I find any further typos - but I wanted everyone to be able to have a look at it.

The ALMOST finished book is available at http://www.lulu.com/content/2539199

If you check out the Preview and had made a comment on the cover photo on my Facebook site, then you should be able to see if I've creditted you too.

More coming soon as the two Mouse books I've been working on are nearly done and some of you will have received copies of the CD of my poems that I recorded last year.

I also have to set a date for the next book launch! :)

Paul xxx

PS I'm having great trouble loading up the front cover; so this is the back, for now!!

ANOTHER NEW POEM HOT OFF THE PRESS!!! :)


SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION is very nearly completed now; although I have added half a dozen or so additional poems during the editing process. New titles include: I NEVER SAY NO TO PIE, IT'S ALL GREEK TO ME, DIAGONAL CAT, ABOVE THE SKY and the new piece below: THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU...


On other, equally as important matters, the pictures of the pie that my friend Dan made me the other day; needless to say I have included it in the new book - which I hope to be finished and ready for Lulu.com by the start of June. For those of you who are interested in things like this; the pie's name was Gladis and she was a beautifully tasting cheese and onion pie. Yum. :)

A date for the book launch remains undecided, at present, depending on when the two Mouse of Commons books are also ready.


Enjoy the new poem! :) Paul xx

THEY WARNED ME ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU…


They warned me about people like you!
They advised I avoided your sort…
To pretend that I just didn’t see you…
To be certain I never got caught…
To ensure that you would not pervert me!
Or endanger my angelic ways…
Well, it’s safer to lock up your daughters –
And prudency always it pays…


They warned me about people like you!
They said you were after my cash…
They told me you were slightly unsightly;
And that maybe you’d give me a rash!
They mentioned you looked a bit shifty;
That you’d ruined some innocent lives!
They seemed certain that you were a scoundrel!
And they listed your thirty-six wives!


They warned me about people like you!
They said you were out for yourself…
That you wanted to get in me knickers;
And if you tried, you would do so with stealth!
They said you’d try showing me puppies!
To lure me deep into your den!
They gave me a lot of lewd details…
But what I wanna know now, is just – WHEN!?


They warned me about people like you!
They claimed you were simply demented!
They smothered me with their affection;
So that my halo it wouldn’t get dented!
They panicked and tried to prevent me!
From hearing the outrageous truth!
I had my own CCTV system fitted –
And became totally burglar proof…


They warned me about people like you!
They wanted to spoil all my fun!
They claimed that I needed protecting;
Seems they thought I was some kind of nun!
Quite simply they never considered…
That I’m approving of all that you do…
That I might have some tricks of my own, see…
Or that I might be HELLA more sinful than you!


They warned me about people like you!
Cos they believed you were, oh, so unkind…
But I've been searching for years with no luck…
And you bounders are so tough to find!
But I found you and I’m ready for action!
Come here boys; you’ve got nothing to fear!!
They warned me ‘bout fellas like you,
But rejoice – cos I turned a deaf ear!


Yeti - Copyright Bearsoup 2007-2008.

WORLD TOUR REPORT: DERBY GIG A SUCCESS!!! :)

Above. Before the gig = rather nervous on the coach up...

Above. After the gig = well really! :)

Hi,

Just to report back about my poetry reading on Thursday 3rd April 2008, in Derby. There was a nice turn out of people; somewhere between 20 and 30; it was hard to tell as the reading was at a drop-in centre and some of the people who saw the first half of the reading had to leave by the time I did the second half and new people had arrived by then. I have included a couple of photos from the day and will include the set list below. :) I was really pleased with all the questions I was asked; the audience really seemed to engaged with what I read and asked questions relating to specific things in the poems; which was great. I got a little plug in for the YETI SPAGHETTI collection and showed off Bearsoup's cover and also left some fliers about the site and sold a few copies of WOOED AWAKENINGS. All in all it gave me confidence to do further readings and perhaps a bit of cabaret; as I've been asked to consider it. :)

Thanks to my good friend Paul Hillier for arranging this and to Andy, Rob, Alex and everyone for making me feel welcome and looking after me during my visit. :)

Thanks also to Julie, Harry, Steve, Ben, Sean, Neph, Stephan, Dan and anyone else I have forgotten to mention for their help during the weeks leading up to the reading; for listening to me practice my reading. Most of all though - endless thanks to Tom for all his help - over a period of weeks he patiently sat through about 5 or 6 hours of me reading poems to see which ones worked best.

Whilst away I have been busily putting the finishing touches to the SHY YETI poetry collection and hopefully by the next time I post I should have a proper release date to announce. :)

At the end of this post is one of the poems from the Derby reading; included in WOOED AWAKENINGS and one of my earliest volumes from about 2001; SO MUCH LOVE - SO LITTLE TIME... When I was reading this one to Tom and others I always got so much of a giggle reading it and it seemed to go down well on the night too.

Here's the "set list", as promised! It was mainly poems from the first 8 collections, the first half from the repackaged WOOED AWAKENINGS and the 2nd half from the repackaged WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS, which should be due out the same time as the new SHY YETI volume. :)


Main reading...

THE TRUE LIGHT
I SHOULD NEVER
(YOU ARE) MY LAST LOVE UNTIL THE NEXT ONE
THIRD TIME LUCKY
COMPUTER DATING
NEVER AT HOME
SO MUCH LOVE - SO LITTLE TIME!!!
WOULD YOU DENY US?
WHO CARES?
OH, FLORENCE!!!
A ROSEY-TINTED LIFE
PARTY GIRL
PICCADILLY CIRCUS
GOOD HUG
OTHERWISE ENGAGED

End of evening reading...

SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA
INGRID BERGMAN'S NOSE
WORN ROMANTIC
YOU DON'T EXIST
I WANT YOU NOW (NO I DON'T!)
I WANNA BE A ROCK-STAR GROUPIE!
BEING COY

Above. Don't worry, Paul - it'll all be fine!! :)

Above. See!! Told ya so! :)

Enjoy the poem! :) Hears hoping I get to do some more readings in the near future... You've heard of Pam Ayres... Well, I'm Pam Bears!!! :)

Paul xx


SO MUCH LOVE - SO LITTLE TIME!!!


So much love -
So little time…
In love again -
Is that a crime!?

6 am : The breakfast news…
The Weather Man has lovely(!) shoes!
7 am : The Milkman comes -
Bills need paying - can't do the sums!
He stands there dripping - summer rain…
I feel it happen -
In love again!

8 am : The walk to work…
Flirting with an office clerk!
9 am : The bus is slow…
A dishy driver! (Lusting so!)
He revs his engine - honks his horn!
A shame he's married -
My heart's forlorn!

10 am : The In-tray cleared…
Swoon! New photocopy boy's appeared!
11 am : The Coffee queue…
Spot workmen working! (What a view!)
Eyes all turn - those guys are fit!
Another crush!
My heart can't quit!

12 O'clock : client on the phone…
What a voice! (His name is Tone!)
1 pm : We meet for lunch…
I think he likes me - it's just a hunch!
Work's forgotten - we steal a kiss!
Again I'm smitten -
It's utter bliss!

2 pm : The boardroom meet -
Playing footsie from my seat!
3 pm : We take a break -
Romantic texts - for goodness sake!
Then pinch the senior partners arse -
Surprised t'was me -
Who made the pass…

4 pm : My text returned…
"Not today!" (I'm feeling spurned…)
5 pm : The end of day…
I like the cleaner - so I stay…
He's wearing jeans - they're really tight…
In love again!
For sure - too right!

6 pm : Again the train!
Making eyes - I make it plain!
7 pm : The weekly shop…
Around the aisles I gaily hop…
And sure enough! (An inward sigh!)
In love again…
The check-out guy!

8 pm : Traffic warden blues!!
Another guy with massive - shoes! 
9 pm : I meet with Tone…
He comes on strong, "Just stop!" I groan!
Seen someone else - Tone takes a hike!
Snog the Bouncer next!
What am I like!?!

10 pm : One more - then slumbers!
Bar man's nice - we swap phone numbers!
11 pm : A taxi ride…
Which man was best - I can't decide!
The driver's cute - gives me the wink…
He'd love a coffee…
Invite to drink…

So many men - no time to lose…
This rollercoaster ride I choose!
And so to sleep - for lusty dreams!
I wake refreshed - or so it seems…
The Milk man's back, heart beats in haste -
I'll ask him in -
No time to waste!


So many men -
So little time…
So full of love -
That ain't no crime!

Hi,

Just some news about the final "track-listing" of my new collection of poems: SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION. The titles below are the ones that are ready to go...

A LIFE TOGETHER…
ALL GIVE – NO TAKE…
BABIES LIKE MY FACE…
THE BALLAD OF A GO-GO BEAR…
THE BALLAD OF CAUSEY HILL…
A BEAR ALWAYS HAS AN ITCH…
BELLY BUTTON FLUFF TEA...
BREAKING UP IS HARDER...
CAR BOOT SALE LOVE…
CLOTH EARS…
A DAGGER IN YOUR BACK…
THE DAY THAT BEAR FELL OUT OF BED…
FASTER PUSSYCAT, PURR – PURR…
FLOOZY…
GONE TOO FAR…
GROOVE…
HER BETRAYER…
HIGH HEELS…
HUEY’S ON THE TOWN AGAIN…
I COULD HAVE ANYONE…
I DON’T MIND (I REALLY DON’T…)
I’VE WAITED ALL MY LIFE FOR YOU…
I KNOW WE’LL NEVER BE TOGETHER…
IN PUBLIC!!
IT’S A FAIR COP…
LITTLE PIG…
MAKING BADGES FOR BADGERS…
MY LIFE IS A MUSICAL…
MY MOMENT IS NOW…
OGRES ON ROLLERSKATES…
PEDRO THE HIGH-CLASS MOTH…
PERVERSE ON PURPOSE…
PIE CRIMES…
RABBITS DON’T REALLY LIKE LETTUCE…
SERENADING SHEEP…
SHE WORE A SEAGULL ON HER HEAD…
THE SOLEMN SALAMANDER…
SOMETHING IN MY COFFEE…
THE SONG OF ALENA AND I…
THE STAND-UP CHAMELEON…
SUPER YETI AND COSMIC BEAR…
TELL IT LIKE IT IS…
THEIR SPECIAL DAY…
THERE’S SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE (EVEN FOR YOU…)
THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE…
WEARING THE SHOE ‘TIL IT FITS…
WHY DON’T DRAGONS CLEAN THEIR TEETH…
YOU ARE THE NIGHTMARE THAT KEEPS OTHER NIGHTMARES AWAKE…
YOUR TINY PAW IS FROZEN…
YETI SPAGHETTI…
YOU’RE TOO YOUNG FOR ME…
YOU CRAMP MY STYLE…
X-RAY TED...

I'll be doing final re-writes next week and hopefully passing it under the nose of my expert proofreader, Mr Tom Crittenden before it goes to print and then hopefully it'll be ready by the start of May. I'm hoping to launch it properly around the start of June along with WOOED AWAKENINGS, WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS (my two repackaged books of relationshop poems from the first 8 collections) and also the next two Mouse of Commons books: THE FURTHER SQUEAKS OF GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS and GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS THROWS IT ALL AWAY; which are currently in their final stages at the moment.

In addition to this I have my first proper go at performance poetry this Thursday. I shall be reporting more about this when I return. I have previously read on hospital radio and at two weddings, but this is the first time where I shall be reading continuously for almost an hour from a mixture of the two "WOOED" books and also some of my other favourites.

THE APRIL WORLD TOUR BEGINS AND ENDS IN DERBY!!!

Wish me luck and enjoy the new poem: X-RAY TED, for which I want to thank my fantabulous friend Tom Crittenden for allowing me to use his title. It's along the same lines as LITTLE BIG; but the story is different and it'll be the last poem in the new collection. :)

I'll be selecting the 4 photos for the 2 versions of the book that I'll be releasing; a paperback B&W edition and a colour hardback edition. The paperback and hardback versions will have different covers. :)

More soon!

Paul xx

X-RAY TED...
(02/04/2008)

X-ray Ted,
Can see it all...
X-ray Ted,
Belle of the ball...
His glasses on...
He'll try and cruise 'em -
Or if they're wicked...
He'll sure confuse 'em...
Sees through their lies -
And them 'n' all...
Quite literally!
He's got some gall...

X-ray Ted...
Gets down 'n' dirty...
X-ray Ted,
Is way too flirty...
Round him -
They all wear lead knickers...
He sits there drooling -
Eating Snickers...
He sees their pants...
It makes him moody!
All this anticipation -
Just makes him broody...

X-ray Ted...
He sees 'em dressing...
X-ray Ted!
Oh, how distressing!!.
Why can't he keep his eyes averted?
With age he just grows -
More perverted...
Where does he get -
This habit from?
Did he do a BTEC -
In Peeping Tom?

X-ray Ted...
He should know better...
X-ray Ted...
Receives a letter...
"Dear Ted, STOP -
Looking at me Mrs..."
It says; plus -
Several other disses...
But X-ray Ted won't -
Cease his staring...
He's watching closely...
How's he faring?

X-ray Ted...
Sad things occurring...
X-ray Ted...
His vision's blurring...
They clobbered him -
And smashed his glasses...
A pack of misfits -
From the middle classes...
Crushed his specs -
Oh, how unnerving!!
Now Ted can't do -
His daily perving...

X-ray Ted...
Not telepathic...
X-ray Ted...
His memory though is photographic...
He still peers around;
He don't need curing...
Out of focus life...
Still looks alluring!
He just sees a blob now...
But doesn't care...
'Cos in his head;
Still sees them ladies; bare...

X-ray Ted...
Is never sated...
What a mucky pup...
That chap is just so damn X-rated...

OUT AND ABOUT ON THE SEARCH FOR A COVER PHOTO...

Well, as the new book is named after my alter-ego SHY YETI, for once I have decided to appear on the front cover of one of my poetry books. I was out and about on the snowy fields above the village of Shere, in Surrey today - taking lots of daft photos; some of which may appear on the front cover of SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION.

But which one will make the cover!? Hold this space... Believe me... There are loads!! Oh! What have you all done to deserve this!?! lol!



PS A little known fact: The glasses which I wear in these photos are ones I used to wear at school when I was about 8 or 9! :) hehe

PPS I shall be doing a final proofreading for the new book during the 2nd week of April and then I shall post a finished list of the poems appearing in the book; as well as another new poem and details of when the new book will be available from Lulu.com. :)

Howdo!

I've started to put together the next collection of new poems; which was originally going to be called THE PIE-CRUST E.P., because it was going to be a short collection; then became SHY YETI'S PIE-CRUST E.P - but is now; because I already have over 40 new compositons, going to be a full length collection and will be entitled: SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION. Okay; so it's a bit of a mouthful (a pastry filled mouthful, one hopes!), but I thought it was time that Shy Yeti got a mention; being he is my poetic alter-ego in the Mouse of Commons books and elsewhere.

I'm also preparing for my poetry reading in Derby on Thursday 3rd April where I shall be mostly reading from the new compilation: WOOED AWAKENINGS, as well as reading a few new pieces and some old favourites.

In addition to this, and as well as completing two new Mouse of Commons books, I am putting the finishing touches to WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS; a second repackaged volume of relationship related poems taken from my collections THE AUTUMNAL E.P., LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED, MUGSHOTS and POETIQUETTE. Finally I'm also still working on SINGLES FILE - a collection of all the poems that I've put on this and other blogsites over the years. Unfortunately, YETI SPAGHETTI, the collection of children's poems that I was working on with illustrator, Bearsoup, has had to be put on hold until Mr Soup has a little less work on. Hopefully this will progress later in the year as I've been receiving a lot of good word about the cover for the book which I posted on here a couple of months back, now.

Anyway - here's a new poem which I'll be including in SHY YETI'S INCREDIBLE PIE-CRUST COLLECTION, which I wrote this very morning and seems to have come out fully formed and ready for human consumption almost straight away! :)

Enjoy!

More soon - with further details of next month's poetry reading and progress on the various collections. :)

Take care!

Paul x


YOU CRAMP MY STYLE…
(12/03/2008)


You cramp my style…
That’s not allowed...
You’re like some kind –
Of human shroud!
You drown me out…
That whining groan…
I’m so much better –
On my own…
Perhaps that’s mean;
Tough luck. Hard cheese.
Home truths like this –
Aren’t meant to please…


You cramp my style –
You swamp my life…
Some people think…
We’re man and wife!
Some people think…
We’re twins! Good grief!
I’d love to gag you;
Sweet relief!!
I’d love to keep you –
Inside a crate…
I repeat, once more;
I’m not your mate…


You cramp my style…
You piss me off…
Hey – here’s a cocktail!!
Molotov!
You’re an iron band –
Around my day!
There’s a busy road, love…
Go and play!
You stare at me…
Unsure what you’ve done…
Well, there’s a cliff…
Now off you run…


You cramp my style…
You make me puke…
That I’ve not killed you;
Some kind of fluke…
You’re just too sweet…
Too much; too nice…
You limit me…
Take my advice!!
It’s sad, but true…
You cramp my style…
It’s not you, my sweet…
Just me; I’m vile…

Hi,

Hot off the press - but a day late!! Well, I did write it ON the day!!!

Lots of exciting news coming up about new books and my first proper gig!

Enjoy the poem - apologies for any typos - this is a first draft! :0) xxx

THE UNGRATEFUL VALENTINE…
(14/02/08)

Is that all that you bought me?
To impress me so much?
Did you think I would swoon?
At your debonair touch?
I'm an ungrateful valentine…
But your gifts they are poor…
A dozen red roses -
I only got four!
Your love letters won't woo me…
You'll not make me weep…
My heart comes at a price…
And that price is not cheap!!

Is that all you could manage?
Is that all you could buy?
I was looking for diamonds…
Do you need to ask why?
Do you need it in writing?
Don't you take my advice?
Do you need it spelt out?
Or to be told more than twice?
For on Feb the Fourteenth…
I'm expecting a lift!!
Some gold-plated wonder…
My valentine's gift…

Is that all that you got me?
That dumb piece of tat…
That fizzy champagne -
Now, that's gone sadly flat!
That inflatable toad stool…
That tarnished bronze brooch…
A ride in the boot -
Of your broken down coach!
I'm such an ungrateful valentine -
Since you've done all you can…
I'm just far too high maintenance…
And you - alas - are a poor meagre man…

Is that all that your purchased -
To win over my heart?
That break-dancing poodle…
Who's pulling a cart…
Do you think that would win me -
And get me to bed?
The roses you gave me -
Arrived here - half dead!
You're deluded, my love…
If you think things are fine…
You were not and have never been…
My true valentine...

A NEW POEM - ABOUT BEARS!!! OF ALL THINGS...

Well, I've been writing a few new poems, of late and wondering whether to put them into a separate new collection or whether to include them in my retrospective collection of this blog: SINGLES FILE. I've not yet decided - let's see how my inspiration goes. On other poetry news, I've been practising for a potential gig that I may be doing in April and repackaging my relationship themed poems into a second collection: WOOD-ER AWAKENINGS, which takes the poems from my 5th to my 8th original collections: THE AUTUMNAL EP until POETIQUETTE. Oh - and YETI SPAGHETTI is still chugging along on the back-burner too - but might not be out as soon as the summer. I'm also working on many various Mouse of Commons stories, too/

Anyway - this is my most recent poem - it's about bears. I mean, it's not as if I've ever written about bears before in a poem, now is it. Oh no.

It's called SUPER YETI AND COSMIC BEAR and is dedicated to my friend Stephan (aka Cosmic Bear), who may be helping to design some of the forthcoming Mouse of Commons covers. :) It's not the first time I've written a bear-themed super hero poem; I did so with THE BEAR WONDER from LOVESONGS FOR THE BITTER AND TWISTED in 2004 - but this version is slightly different take on the whole bear superhero phenomena! lol! :)

Before you ask - the photo on this post isn't of bears; but it is a super being - it's Cat Deeley - my very own super cat!!!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the poem!

Take care.

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

SUPER YETI AND COSMIC BEAR
01-02/02/2008

Super Yeti and Cosmic Bear -
A dashing duo...
All foes beware.
They vanquish villains!
Can also fly!!
Armed with nothing more -
Than a trusty pie!
They'll crush those crims,
To uphold the law...
Bad boys cower...
To hear them snore...
They are the best!!
Each one a saviour -
And will swiftly deal,
With bad behaviour...

Super Yeti and Cosmic Bear -
Make plans for peace -
Within their lair...
They use pie-crusts,
To run their cars...
Spend weekends in -
Their home on Mars!
It gets tiring out there;
Brave crusading...
There's always someone -
Tries invading!!
Feet up; chilled out -
But not for long...
Too soon they're back to work -
Outlawing all that's wrong!

Super Yeti and Cosmic Bear...
Such heroic feats -
These days are rare!
Take credit cards -
To pay their wages...
Under "S" for Super -
In Yellow Pages!!
Rescue missions -
Done in style!!
They even have a -
Myspace profile...
Their daring do's...
Seem to inspire...
They must be cloned -
Should they retire!!

Super Yeti and Cosmic Bear -
Store their magic powers -
Within their hair...
They have the knack!
They know the moves!
Removing thorns -
From centaurs hooves...
Folk line the streets;
Just to applaud -
"We're safe with them!
Yes, safe from fraud!!
Those guys are great -
Each one a trooper...
They're both so special...
You can really tell they're super!!"

HAPPY CHRISTMAS - ANOTHER NEW POEM!!!

Hi,

Just a quick MERRY CHRISTMAS and the chance to share another of my new poems with you! :) It's not really Christmassy, at all - except for one small reference towards the end of verse 3.

Never mind, I hope you enjoy it! :)

Happy New Year - see you in 2008!!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

RABBITS DON'T REALLY LIKE LETTUCE.
(20-23/12/2007)

Rabbits don't really like lettuce...
They prefer to eat slices of brie!
In between digging deep cosy burrows...
And bouncing about full of glee!
They don't enjoy chomping on brussels...
Or eating fresh shoots every day!
They would rather eat something more classy...
Caviar on a fine silver tray -
But sometimes such wishes don't come true...
And bunnies don't get all they dream!
Like black forest gateau at dinner...
Just get green leaves and cheap squirty cream...
(If they're lucky!!)

Rabbits don't really like broad beans -
They regard them as tasteless and trite...
They just eat them because it's expected.
They just eat them because it's polite.
They would much rather dine out on truffles...
They don't like eating stuff that is bland.
They do not wish a life eating salad...
They'd prefer that their waistlines expand...
But the only way bunnies get podgy -
Is by scoffing down trifle with ease...
And waving farewell to dull carrots;
Or by turning a blind eye to peas...

Rabbits pulls faces at daisies...
It's not what they'd happily eat.
Grass is so terribly yawnful -
Not something you'd have as a treat.
Treacle tart piled high with custard.
Creme brulee; ye old Christmas pud...
Not everyone choses to eat it -
But bunnies most certainly would!!
Rabbits don't really like lettuce...
There's no doubt they are simply a bore...
Whilst gateau and other such lovelies...
Are the things that all bunnies adore!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS 2007!!!

Hi,

Just a quick post to say HELLO - MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

This post contains a couple of items hot off the press. The excellent fantabulous illustration is by my glamorous assistant (or am I his glamorous assistant; we're yet to decide.) At the time of posting we are hoping that this will be the cover of YETI SPAGHETTI, my collection of children's poems which Bearsoup is illustrating; hopefully to be available by Summer 2008.

The second treat is the poem of the same name - to go with this collection - which I have been working on sporadically for a while now; but which is now finally completed. Well, it was only completed at lunchtime today; so this may still be a draft - but it's certainly hot off the press.

I hope you enjoy it and the cover.

More in the new year!!

Paul xx

YETI SPAGHETTI
(16-18/12/2007)

Are you looking for something -
You haven’t found yet?
Try out yeti spaghetti -
It's as good as you'll get...


Oh, yeti spaghetti -
Isn’t made out of yeti…
Yeti spaghetti -
Doesn't taste like confetti…
It is slippy and slidey -
It's a little like eels…
But a yeti gets used -
To the way that it feels…
As he sits in a bath -
Made from fresh pasta hoops -
Slurping all kinds of -
Extra-terrestrial soups…
As he sits in the slop -
With his bright plastic ducks…
He'd not swap his position -
For a million bucks!


Yeti spaghetti -
Is important not petty…
Yeti spaghetti's -
So hot you'll get sweaty…
But it makes you feel good -
Like cappuchino with foam -
Like an icing clad cupcake…
Like your own home sweet home…
It is good for your pores -
Keeps your fur nice and trim -
Makes you glow deep within -
Stops you feeling dead grim;
There is nothing quite like it…
No, nothing that works -
With a top secret recipe -
It's just one of life's perks…


Yeti spaghetti -
It's best eaten when wet -
Yeti spaghetti -
When you're down the laundrette…
When you're still half asleep -
When you're half in a dream;
Yeti spaghetti -
With a tub of ice cream…
With a pie on the side;
With a cake close at hand…
All helps yeti spaghetti;
Taste incredibly grand…
It will make you feel tall…
Even when you are small…
Yeti spaghetti;
Is the best food of them all…


So, if you're feeling quite low -
Or if you're full of regret…
Just remember;
Yeti spaghetti;
Soon will help you forget...

WINTER 2007 NEWS UPDATE!!!!

Hi,

I've not posted for a little while, as I'm currently in various different stages of a number of books that I hope will be coming out in Spring 2008. There are four poetry books so far; WOOED AWAKENINGS and WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS, which I've already mentioned to a certain extent which are repackaged relationship collections from my first 8 books up to POETIQUETTE in 2005; the first book covering the books 1-4 and the 2nd books 5-8. There are a couple of new poems in both collections. There is also the SINGLES FILE collection of the poems I have posted on this site over the last 5 or more years, which will also contains 20 or 30 new pieces.

In addition to this I am also working on a book of children's poems with my friend Bearsoup. I'm writing some new pieces and chosing my favourites from all my 10 poetry collections so far. Bearsoup is going to be illustrating them and the aim is to produce a full colour collection to publish on www.lulu.com.

Other than this I am embarking on final proof-reading on two other Mouse of Commons books; one a novel: GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS THROWS IT ALL AWAY and the other a second collection of short stories entitled: THE FURTHER SQUEAKS OF GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS, which I hope to be ready by Spring 2008, if I can find me a few new proof-readers. As well as this I am working on the writing process on some other Mouse projects and am currently posting my third internet Mouse adventure since October. The three stories: GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE SANDCASTLE OF DOOM, GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE PHANTOM PIE-CRAWL and GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE LOST CITY OF BEARCELONA will also later be appearing in a fully-fledged collection of Mouse short stories later in 2008 and I plan to write at least one further internet exclusive story during the first quarter of 2008.

Anyway - here's one of the new poems that I hope will be appearing in YETI SPAGHETTI, the children's collection that I mentioned earlier. Hope you like it. This was written in bed after a night out on the tiles, with sleepiness still snoring in my earlobes as I wrote it.

Bye for now. Seasons greetings!!

Paul xx

LITTLE PIG…
03/11/07

Little pig -
A real bright spark!
Little pig...
Hides in the dark...
The older pigs -
They laugh and snigger...
But little pig -
He's growing bigger!
They won't laugh long…
The last laugh's his -
Sweet little pig -
Won't lose his fizz…

Little pig -
He's never naughty!
Little pig…
He's pink and snorty!
His curly tail -
They love to tweak…
Gets longer seems -
Now, every week!
Poor little pig -
He'll become more tougher…
He's joined a gym -
To grow still buffer!!

Little pig -
He's discotastic…
Little pig…
Takes measures drastic!
To stop the fiends -
Who bully him;
Who make each day…
So very grim…
In his school bag -
Hides something viler…
A large and snarly;
Pet Rottweiller!!!

Little pig -
He's well respected!
Little pig -
Now well protected!
The other creatures -
All treat him beaut…
In fact some have been -
Known to salute!
They're dead polite now,
Yup - no fakin',
Pig's pet Rottweiller -
Sure saved HIS bacon!

Hi,

Another new poem - hot off the press. Two days in a row!! These new ones will be appearing in my WOOED-ER AWAKENINGS collection and in the SINGLES FILE collection of BLOG posts, next year.

Also - just to let everyone know that the WOOED AWAKENINGS collection is now available. I'm not marketing it in any major way, at the moment - as it has been put together for a reading that I am doing next year and is effectively a repackaged collection of my early relationship poems; hence people who have my early books will already have the content.

Still - take a look. The details can be found at: http://www.lulu.com/content/1240988

The new poem is called GROOVE. I hope you enjoy it!

Paul xx

GROOVE
(18/10/07)

I make no excuse when I'm dancing -
For my eyes and the way that they play…
For the manner they seek out your body…
You are hot and you're staying that way…
I accept that you're more than just looks, hun…
But on the dancefloor, that's all that applies…
There is no need for further solutions…
There is no need for wherefores nor whys…
Cos, when I see you get down on the dancefloor…
When I see every way that you move…
I just know that I want your attention…
And I know that we've just gotta groove…

Sorry's they just aren't forthcoming...
For the way that you're making me feel…
I just know my libido is bubblin'…
I just know that our chemistry's real…
When we dance hip-to-hip on the dancefloor…
Those few moments are getting me high…
Lip-to-lip, locked together forever…
And to think I was once, oh so shy!!
Cos, when we're wrapped tight on the dancefloor…
Seems there's nothing remaining to prove!
Each moment to me's truly heaven…
When we get on the floor - in the groove…

No-one sees us whenever we're dancing…
They are all in their own little world…
Come alive on this midnight occasion…
Our desire it seems now unfurled…
The rhythm of love, sure it's beating…
It's a cliché - but yes, I'm your man…
You're my handsome white knight, dressed in armour…
And I'm holding you close whilst I can…
For those minutes cocooned on the dancefloor…
Whispered sweet nothing's to soothe…
I am yours - surely, yes, I'm your puppet…
As we get on down into the groove...

I make no excuse, when we're dancing…
If we act like a pair of young fools…
To think you might dance with another…
I get green-eyed, my jealousy fuels…
The lights flash - the music is pumping…
All my love-you's and every word…
Is lost there - cast out on the dancefloor…
All my passion for you goes unheard…
Don't let me go when we're down there, just dancing…
I memorise every move…
When you're gone - close my eyes; start reliving…
Precious nights when we drowned in the groove...

Hello...

Hot off the press.... Enjoy!!

Paul xx

ALL GIVE, NO TAKE...

I don't mean to impose, dear...
i don't mean to intrude...
I don't mean to be forward...
Nor even be rude!
I don't mean to make trouble...
Or to drive you insane...
I just want to be certain -
I just need to be plain!!
Cos, I caught you a-peeking...
And I just want you to know -
If you want my affection...
Then I'm here - good to go...

I'm yours for the loving -
I'm not on the make...
I'm yours for the night -
I am all give - no take...
I'm all yours, no contract...
I'm the real deal, no fake...
So whatever, you need -
I'm your best big mistake!!

I don't mean to sound weird, hun...
I don't mean to be bold...
But are you looking for someone -
To snuggle or hold!?
I don't wish to sound flirty -
Even though that I am!
But if you're living a lie -
Or your love's in a jam...
If you need some carressing -
Or a long passionate kiss...
I'm the one here for you...
The kind you don't wanna miss!!

I'm yours for the keeping -
Jumping out from the cake...
I'm yours now til morning -
Yes, all give - no take...
I'm all yours, no small print...
To cherish or break...
I'm the one of your dreams -
And yes - I CAN BAKE!!!

I don't mean to sound odd, babe...
I don't mean now to scare...
Won't you take my incentive -
And return to my lair...
I don't wish to sound dirty -
Even though that I could!
But you can see I'm attracted...
Yes, you know that I would...
I want you to answer -
You know that you must...
Just one sweet tender moment...
Just to ignite our lust!!

I'm yours for the wooing -
Can't you feel the earth shake?
You, for sure, won't regret it -
I am all give - no take...
I'll be yours now, forever...
I adore you - I ache...
There's just one thing I ask, love -
Won't you please keep awake!?!