Tuesday, November 22, 2016

PODCASTS-A-GO-GO...

THE WORD IS OUT! ACTUALLY, SEVERAL WORDS...

Hello beasties,

This week on our blog we're going to focus on our two most recent episodes of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - one which involves my old school friend, Paul H and the second being my live show on Pride48! Deeley is also here to make the post look extra lovely; these photos were taken just before his 12th birthday whilst I was recording for one of the podcast with Toppie Smellie, one Saturday morning in early October.

Here are some of the details of our last two shows - episodes 34 and 35 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST... 

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 34: PUSHING THE BOAT OUT!!


Here we are for episode THIRTY FOUR and it's a previously unpublished chat which I recorded back in September - and the return of my friend Other Paul - this time with his husband, Alex. Our conversation was recorded during a nice dinner at Rules Restaurant in Covent Garden, London. We were there for a while before heading to the theatre - so these are the highlights! This episode we also hear briefly from our usual team of players! Our next episode, number 35 - will be from our second live show on Pride48. Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. Episode 34 was recorded between the 10th September and the 17th November 2016.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

34: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-34-pushing-the-boat-out

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 35: MY 2ND LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW!!


Here we are for episode THIRTY FIVE and it's our second live show!! All the regulars are with us - not to mention a number of familiar names in the chatroom... There are also a number of poems and stories from Mr Yeti's book ARE WE THERE, YETI!? (2013) and also an exclusive - unpublished new poem completed that very day! Our next episode, number 36 - sees us heading for Venice for a two-part Italian birthday special! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. Episode 35 was recorded on Sunday 20th November 2016, with additional links recorded on Wednesday 16th November 2016.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

35: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/35output

The next four photos are of Deeley, again - from another occasion in mid-November, when he listened in to me recording voices for episode 34 and 35 of the podcast. I'm not sure he approves!







This weekend I've also been recording a few bits and pieces for a future podcast around Hampton Court Palace gardens and Bushy Park. I'm not sure which episode they will appear in - but I suspect it won't be until one of the early 2017 episodes, as I have quite a lot already pre-recorded for the rest of 2016. We shall see...

















I also took a few deadly serious photos to promote the live show - I hope it got the message across that we're a very serious podcast that focuses on the most important issues of the day.









Before we go I'd like to share with you a poem that I was working on last week and which I finished at the weekend. It's just a silly little piece about libraries and shushing. I was pleased that I finished it in time to debut it on my live show on the 20th. There is a slightly different version of the 4th verse - but it's a bit ruder, so you'll have to wait until I release my next book of verse to see what exactly that entails!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

THE SHUSH POLICE


The Shush Police…
Are on your case…
They saw you speaking -
Face-to-face…
And libraries don’t like -
Folk who chatter…
Crushed in their Stacks -
Until you’re flatter…
You’ll soon be feeling –
Faint and sickly…
They do not lend -
Forgiveness quickly…
The Shush Police..
They do not linger -
And swiftly you’ll -
Receive the finger!


The Shush Police…
They’re onto you…
They’ll prize your nails off -
With bamboo…
Revenge is sweet -
But best served cold!
These ancient ways -
Do not grow old…
Those ancient ways -
Make life AMAZING!!
What type of hell -
Might they be raising…
The Shush Police…
Won’t warn you twice…
For they love the chance -
To slice and dice!!


The Shush Police…
Can be a menace…
They don’t pat dogs -
They don’t play tennis…
They don’t approve -
Of fun AT ALL…
You can’t sweet talk ‘em -
They won’t play ball…
They keep their eye -
On all their readers…
And do not trust -
“The Little Bleeders…”
The Shush Police –
Work for themselves...
There's barbed wire -
On the Reference Shelves!


The Shush Police…
Like peace and quiet...
So tip-toe -
To avoid a riot!
I'm not saying that -
They're often violent!
But I wouldn't risk it -
So best stay silent!
Just read your book -
Just sit and stare...
They're dressed in -
Skimpy underwear...
The Shush Police –
So tall! So bushy…
Broad-shouldered hunks…
So VERY shushy!!

This piece and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2016.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

THIS WEEK!! A NEW SHY YETI SCRIPT!!

SHY YETI UNDER WRAPS!!


Hello beasties!

This week we have another Shy Yeti sketch for you - so expect this post to be super daft - more so than usual, even...

Before we get to that though...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 33: HEY! HEY! IT'S HAUNTCUB!!


Here we are for episode THIRTY THREE!! This time we speak to friend of the podcast (and friend to yeti in general) Jay The Hauntcub! This isn't the first time we've spoken to Jay - as he appeared in our Halloween episode, but it's the first time that we've had the chance to natter about other matters. This episode also features some comments from our regulars team. Our next episode, number 34 - is (hopefully) another of our experiments in LIVE broadcasting! (That's if it records, of course!!) Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. Episode 33 was recorded between the 8th and the 13th October 2016.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:


Next time we'll probably be discussing my recent trip to Venice...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. The first draft of this script was written between 12th September and 10th October 2016 and then worked on up until the time of posting ... The original idea for this script was devised in mid June 2016.

SHY YETI GETS ALL WRAPPED UP!!


SETTING: This time we join Mr Yeti at the local walk-in-centre where Shy is waiting to be called in for a routine appointment... He is calm - his presence in the centre is nothing for him to be concerned about and so he is simply playing with his phone. As he waits he looks up for it and attempts to make conversation with a couple of other patients who are waiting for their appointments, but nobody really seems to want to connects and so he returns to his phone and begins to record himself for his latest podcast episode.

SHY: (doing his best radio voice)

Hello listeners! It's me - Shy Yeti... I'm in the health centre... I had an accident... It was stupid of me... You see I had an itchy ear and.. well, I was really kind of sleepy and I wasn't thinking straight and I just reached out and I tried to scratch it with the first thing that came to hand - which just happened to be a candle! Let's just say that because of the heat - the candle was soft and... Well... When people say they've got ear wax they don't mean that their ear accidentally swallowed a scented candle; but in my case - well, that's exactly what happened! My Great Auntie Lizzie used to say that yeti's ears can really get them into trouble sometimes - it's because they're furry and resent being hidden from the sun... Who knows, aye!? It wouldn't surprise me if I'm being completely honest with you... So.. Anyway! I'm here I am at the Doctor's Surgery about to have my ear syringed - and you know what I may well ask them to do both as I have a nasty feeling that I've an piece of melted chocolate wedged in the other ear that I placed in there some years ago, in the hope that it might help me to attract a potential beau! I say years - we're talking 2003, here... Still! There's no need to be judgemental...

SHY IS ABOUT TO SAY SOME MORE WHEN A NURSE EMERGES FROM A GLOOMY OFFICE TO CALL OUT FOR THE NEXT PATIENT; THIS TIME IT IS SHY THAT SHE REQUIRES...

NURSE: (earnestly)

SHY YETI?!

SHY: (surprised)

Oooh! Yes... That's me... I'm surprised I could hear you - I've got some hearing troubles at the moment... Maybe I'm not as bad as I thought...

NURSE: (dispassionately)

That's for the doctor to make a judgement on...

SHY: (nervously)

Ah... Right! Sure... Very good, thank you...

NURSE: (hurrying him on)

Hurry on... Hurry on... Dr Feather is waiting for you... He's a very busy man...

SHY: (nodding, hurrying over)

Certainly...

SHY ENTERS THE OFFICE - THERE IS A PENGUIN DOCTOR THERE - WHO HAS TO STAND ON A HIGH LADDER TO EXAMINE SHY - HE HAS A VERY SERIOUS EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE AND JUST TUTS AND CLUCKS TO HIMSELF FOR A WHILE...

(overly-jovial) Hello doctor... I'm here for my ears...

DR FEATHERS: (sharply)

Quiet please... I'm examining you...

SHY: (trying to be helpful)

Sorry... Sorry... I wasn't sure if it was on my notes or not... It's my ears, you see... I think they need to be syringed...

DR F: (snootily)

I think I should be the one to decide that now, don't you?

SHY: (apologetically)

Ah yes! Yes... Of course, sir... Apologies... I don't wish to tell you your own job...

DR F: (increasingly rude)

Then don't... (Shy pulls a face but remains silent) You're quite tubby, aren't you?

SHY: (proudly, ignoring the rudeness)

Oh, well yes! That's a yeti thing - yeti aren't meant to be skinny! I've always had rugby player thighs!

DR F: (not listening)

I'd almost go as far as to say you were fat - morbidly obese even...

SHY: (snapping back, but with a polite smile)

And your feathers are looking a little faded...

DR F: (sounding hurt)

There's no need to be personal... I'm only doing my job...

SHY: (through gritted teeth)

How convenient that your job is to make personal remarks about people then...

DR F: (sounding in quite a huff)

I'm so sorry... Would you rather I simply told you that you're slim and beautiful with fresh breath and a winning smile...

SHY: (throwing out his very best grin)

Well, other than not being slim the rest of that is actually true...

DR F: (mutters as he writes in his notes, presumably speaking what he is writing)

The patient is clearly in denial...

SHY: (suspiciously)

What's that you're writing?

DR F: (dismissively)

Just my notes... It's nothing that need worry you...

SHY: (shocked and outraged)

Well, if it's about me it does bother me... What's that word there? Does that say fantasist? My goodness, your handwriting is atrocious! I may be fat and over-forty - but goodness me - at least my handwriting is legible...

DR FEATHERS SETS ASIDE HIS NOTES AND GIVES SHY A VERY LONG AND VERY HARD STARE...

DR F: (firmly)

There's nothing wrong with you that a good washing out of your mouth wouldn't cure...

SHY:

I beg your pardon!?!

DR F:

You heard me... All done... If you'll just wait here for a minute or two then my assistant will arrive to administer your treatment...

SHY: (almost speechless)

Oh... Right... So, that's it, is it? Gosh...

DR F: (trying to regain his politeness)

Thank you, Mr Yeti... Goodbye now... Do take care...

SHY: (quickly attempting to interrupt) 

Okay... Well, thank you... Before you go - I'd just like to say...

BUT DR FEATHERS HAS HOPPED DOWN OFF THE COUNTER AND HAS WADDLED OFF INTO ANOTHER ROOM... SHY ISN'T LOOKING AT ALL HAPPY - HE IS FED UP AT HAVING TO WAIT AND SO HE TAKES OUT HIS PHONE AGAIN AND BEGINS TO RECORD SOMETHING FOR THE LATEST EPISODE OF HIS PODCAST...

(speaking into the phone) Well, listeners... You won't believe how rude this doctor was - he was really snooty - one of those people who thinks he can say whatever he likes and not have any come-back... I mean, sure - he's the doctor - you're not meant to retaliate when your doctor says you're over-weight but I thought he needed to hear some truths... His wings were looking drab! They were! Call me a liar, I don't care - but I was only being honest!

SHY LOOKS LIKE HE IS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING MORE WHEN A BUSY LOOKING NURSE ENTERS THE ROOM - SHE WEARS A MASK AND USHERS HIM TO THE COUCH...

SHY: (slightly indignant)

I don't think you'll need the mask, Sister... I don't have any germs...

NURSE: (hardly listening)

Okay sir...

SHY: (chattering on)

So will you be syringing my ears? (the nurse mutters something but he misses it) I'm sorry, what was that?

NURSE: (firmly)

If you just lie down and relax we'll get on...

SHY: (teasing)

Ah... Okay... Right... Might I have a quick 40 winks?

NURSE: (missing the joke)

Whatever you like, sir... One of my colleagues will be joining me to assist in a moment... Ah... Here they are!

THE NURSE INDICATES ANOTHER FIGURE WHO HAS ARRIVED, SHY JUST NODS AND THEN LIES BACK AND CLOSES HIS EYES... TIME PASSES... SHY YETI OPENS HIS EYES AGAIN AND IS SHOCKED TO SEE THAT EVERYTHING AROUND HIM HAS CHANGED... THE WHOLE ROOM SEEMS TO BE CAKED IN BANDAGES AND HE QUICKLY REALISES THAT HE TOO IS ALSO WRAPPED UP FROM TOP TO TOE LIKE SOME KIND OF YETI-FIED MUMMY...

SHY: (distressed/urgently)

HELLO!?! HELLO... CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME!? HELLO!?

SHY DOESN'T HAVE TO WAIT TOO LONG FOR A REPLY - FOR SUDDENLY HE IS CONFRONTED BY ONE OF THE NURSES - NOT THE ONE THAT HE SPOKE TO EARLIER, BUT HER ASSISTANT... AN ASSISTANT WHO SUDDENLY LOOKS RATHER FAMILIAR TO SHY...

ASSISTANT: (nervously, but pleased to see him)

Hello Yeti...

SHY: (surprised)

Oh hello... OH! OH... IT'S YOU!! TOPPIE! TOPPIE SMELLIE! WELL, GOODNESS ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

TOPPIE: (lowering his voice)

Trying to get to speak to you!

SHY: (lowering his voice too)

Really!? I was worried about you? Why didn't you come to my house?

TOPPIE: (unhappily thinking back)

What - that time when Tolstoy dressed as a vampire cow?

SHY: (sounding a little hurt)

Well... Yes... Then too... But I meant generally... Why didn't you come to my house? It's been days now...

TOPPIE: (with regret)

I've had so much trouble lately... I don't dare go to your house... It's probably being watched...

SHY: (vague/bemused)

I don't think so... Well, maybe it is and I've just not noticed... Anyway! So dressing as a nurse is a way of disguising yourself?

TOPPIE: (keen to show that he has tried to communicate)

That's right... I had hoped to get to speak to you at your poetry show...

SHY: (shocked again)

MY POETRY SHOW!? You were there!? You're kidding!

TOPPIE: (sympathetic)

No... Not at all... I was there - not that it really ever got started, did it?

SHY: (finding the whole business quite amusing)

Well, no... So you were there - what, in disguise? (Toppie nods) As what? A limerick?

TOPPIE: (knowing he's being teased)

No, stupid... I was in the audience...

SHY: (open-mouthed)

You were? But they were all...

TOPPIE: (openly grinning)

Super Models... Yes...

SHY: (fascinated)

Well, I never!! This is quite a revelation... (Shy Yeti tries to sit up and then realises that he cannot) Toppie! What have you done to me? I was only supposed to be in here to have my ears syringed...

TOPPIE: (apologetic)

Ah yes... Sorry about that... It's not ENTIRELY my mistake...

SHY: (raising an eyebrow)

Really? Go on...

TOPPIE: (reluctant, but eager to show it was nothing personal)

Well, the files DID get slightly muddled up and I WAS told to bandage your head...

SHY: (patient, but slightly frustrated)

Well, that does seem slight over-kill... Only - you haven't just bandaged my head, have you? You've bandaged all of me, all of you and everything in the room...

TOPPIE: (grinning)

I must say you are quite an observant yeti...

SHY: (hopeful)

Thank you... So... Any clue as to how this happened?

TOPPIE: (bashfully)

I lost control of the machine...

SHY: (surprised)

You have a bandaging MACHINE!?!

TOPPIE: (warming to the subject)

Well, not me personally - but the clinic here does... I've only been here a couple of days and...

SHY: (interrupted)

You've not mastered it yet...

TOPPIE: (in embarrassed agreement)

That's for sure!

SHY: (lowering voice)

But Toppie - I don't understand... Why are you wasting your time working here?

TOPPIE: (proudly)

I'm not wasting my time - I'm helping people... I mean I realise that in your case strictly speaking this hasn't really helped, at all...

SHY: (supportively, with concern)

Well, whatever - I really didn't mean that! I mean why aren't we working towards getting you home - why are you still letting that cat persecute you...

TOPPIE: (dismissive)

I'm not... It's fine... All sorted...

SHY: (encouraging, sympathetic, persistent) 

Toppie! I don't believe a word of it... Come on! Let me help you!!

TOPPIE: (sounding a little sad)

Well, yes... Obviously I'd like to go home at some point...

SHY: (not meaning to scare him, but accidentally doing so)

If, as you say, there's nothing to worry about then simply come and stay at mine - why not enjoy your holiday; I mean are you even meant to be working!? I mean... legally...

TOPPIE: (becoming quite agitated)

Shh now... Shh... Please don't cause a fuss, yeti... I'm probably not meant to be working - but I do need to eat! I tried the Cat Psychic thing for a while and then I got involved with looking after those vampire cows...

SHY: (nodding, unhappy at the memory)

Well yes, I remember that, for sure...

TOPPIE: (sounding even more disillusioned)

Then I did a little modelling and most recently I'd been trying to set up a website to sell bobble-hats to moths - but that just wasn't taking off...

SHY: (confused)

What the business or...?

TOPPIE: (trying to remain brave about it)

The moths... I feel quite guilty about it - the hats were simply too heavy for them...

SHY: (shocked)

BOBBLE-HATS FOR MOTHS!? I've never heard of such a thing...

TOPPIE: (burbling away)

Oh yes... There's a big market for it - or so I'm told. Only the ones that I was palmed off with were the bigger sizes - I was told they were for plus-size moths, but I suspect they are more bobble-hats for birds or mice... They weighed a ton! Not literally, but... Well, let's just say it resulted in a few moth fatalities - so I had to close down the whole operation...

SHY: (horrified)

Incredible... I'm really sorry to hear that... Look, I really didn't mean to cause a commotion - I just want to help and for you to be honest about the situation and to accept that you need my help... I mean, you do don't you?

TOPPIE NODS SLOWLY AND IS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING WHEN SUDDENLY THERE COMES THE SOUND OF WHAT MAY BE SOME KIND OF BUZZER GOING OFF CLOSE BY...

(confused) What IS that? Is it an alarm?

TOPPIE: (nervously)

Shhhh... I know what THAT is...

SHY: (antsy)

Hey! Don't shhh me, Toppie... I'm the librarian - former librarian - whatever... Anyway, only librarians are allowed to shhh...

TOPPIE: (dropping his voice real low)

Sorry! Sorry! I should have thought - but this is serious... That's not a buzzer... It's a PURR!!!

SHY: (shocked, going pale)

It's a WHAT!?

TOPPIE: (speaking louder than he intended)

A PURR!!

SHY: (dropping the tone of his voice again)

Oh! Good grief!! Do you mean!? (Toppie nods) Crikey... Here!? Now!? In this room!?

TOPPIE: (urgently)

Yes, Shy... Tolstoy is here... Quick... You've got to leave...

SHY: (confused, disapproving)

What do you mean, I have to? I thought Hauntcub had got all this under control...

TOPPIE: (equally as confused)

Hauntcub? What do you mean?

SHY: (with urgency)

Well, somebody told me that... Oh, never mind... We both have to get out of here - more importantly you! This can't go on!

TOPPIE: (persistent)

Well, you're in as much danger as I am...

SHY: (panicking)

We can discuss that later... Just a minute... I can't move... Get these bandages off of me! Cut me out of them! Quickly!

TOPPIE: (also panicking)

Oh! But I can't get to the scissors - they're...

SHY: (unhappily)

Under the bandages! Oh boy! Come on... I'll just have to hop... Give me a hand...

TOPPIE HELPS SHY HOPS ACROSS THE ROOM - HE NOW SEES WHERE THE PURRING IS COMING FROM - A SMALL BANDAGED CAT LIKE SHAPE WHICH STANDS UPRIGHT UPON AN EXAMINATION DESK - SUDDENLY IT BEGINS TO MEW...

TOPPIE: (bordering on hysterics)

Oh no! He's sniffed us out... We're in big trouble now...

SHY: (teetering over the balance into hysteria)

HURRY! HURRY!

TOPPIE: (heroically)

SAVE YOURSELF, YETI!! I'LL HOLD HIM OFF...

SHY: (his voice returning to normal, quite casual again)

Toppie! He's a cat... Entrapped within a plastercast!!! He's not really that much of an immediate danger thanks to your frantic bandaging! Come on... Let's both get out of here...

TOPPIE: (uncertain)

And go where? We can't go back to your flat...

SHY: (sounding more confident)

Don't worry about it... I'll think of something...

WE SEE THE EXAMINATION ROOM STILL COATED IN BANDAGES - AND TOLSTOY - STILL ENCASED - HOPPING HIS WAY SLOWLY IN PURSUIT OF SHY AND TOPPIE... THEY ARE AHEAD, DESPITE SHY STILL BEING ALL WRAPPED UP - BUT WHERE WILL THE TWO FRIENDS GO? CAN SHY GET TOPPIE SAFELY HOME!? CAN TOPPIE GET SHY SAFELY HOME!? OH MY...

TO BE CONTINUED...

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2016.

Sunday, November 06, 2016

THE NEXT YETI INTERVIEW...

BACK WITH THE BEARGRRRIAN GAZETTE...

Hello beasties!

Yes, it's another interview...

First up - I just posted a new podcast episode - here is all you need to know:

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 32: IT'S MY PARTY...

Here we are for EPISODE 32!!! This time Shy Yeti receives a slightly early birthday surprise from Yeti Uncle John and Dameus Twinklehorn. I'm sorry - but I can't tell you who our guests are this time, because it must be a surprise for you listeners too! Needless to say it's a hoot of a show! Thank you to my special guests! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti, Luca and Soundbible. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. Episode 32 was recorded between the 24th September and 26th October 2016. Mr Yeti will be on vacation next week - but expects to post another episode in about ten days time.  P.S. Happy (50th) birthday to Jay The Hauntcub on the day this episode is released!!

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:


I'm about to head off to Venice - this very day, in fact - so I'll leave you with a new interview between me and the good fellows from The Beargrrrian Gazette... With a bit of luck I'll have something new for you in a week or so once I return from Italian shores! With my luck!

Enjoy the interview! More soon!

Take care!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

A ELEVENTH SLIGHTLY-OVER 60 SECOND CHAT WITH SHY YETI

Here is recent interview from Beargrrria’s top magazine for chat; THE GROWL GAZETTE. They know me there due partly to my dubious connection with Beargrrrian superstar, Charlie Grrr. This is the 11th time that they have interviewed me in recent years – they like to check up on me every six months or so. As usual I mainly discuss what I’m up to creatively - so here’s what they asked and what I said in reply; straight from the yeti’s mouth, as it were!!!

Q. Welcome Mr Yeti!

Hello… It’s absolutely fantabulous to be back!

Q. Please can you tell us about the books that you’ve published in the last few months?

A. Certainly. Well, we may have discussed some of them when we last spoke – but at the start of the year I published the first seasons of my two new script-series, HOT STUFF!! and KENSINGTON GORE and also my long-awaited (mainly by myself) collection, A YETI WAY OF THINKING. I’ve been enjoying performing poems from this book – so it’s good to finally have it out there, having worked on it for some time.

Q. What are your projects in terms of what you expect to be publishing next…

A. Well, I’m working on the final proofing of the second seasons of both HOT STUFF!! and KENSINGTON GORE. At the moment, however, I am actually prioritising the BEAST OF FRIENDS – MOVIE SCRIPT. I’d especially like to have this out around the time of my birthday in November. I began writing the script in Venice two years ago and am going back again this birthday - not only were those early scenes written there but the story is also set in Venice! It’s possible that I will take a proof copy of the book with me when I return – take photos with it there and then finally publish it in late November or early December… Now that I am also working on my podcast there is a good chance that the second season of HOT STUFF!! and KENSINGTON GORE will be held back until January or February 2017. I had been working on writing at night, but now most of my evenings are spent working on the latest podcast episodes.

Q. What new material are you currently working on?

A. Aside for the editing of those projects that I've already mentioned I am actually writing the first drafts of episodes for the 5th season of HOT STUFF!! and the 4th season of KENSINGTON GORE. I’m working on blog-posts and also on yeti scripts for my blog and I’ve also just started a new writing project with one of my oldest writing chums, Nick Goodman – but that is still untitled and in the very early stages. We are taking turns writing chapters - Nick has written two, so far - and I am just about to begin writing my third episode.

Q. Can you tell us about the Shy Yeti scripts that you've been working on and how that came about? Will you be releasing these scripts as a book at some stage?

A. This series of scripts really just started off as I was looking for something silly to write for my blog – but I enjoyed doing it so much that I wrote another and then another… The first script was just a sketch where Shy is asked to write a musical – coming up with increasingly bizarre ideas... Later scripts take a humorous look at libraries, noise pollution and acting amongst other subjects. After a while I decided to introduce a fictionalised version of real-life podcast master, Toppie Smellie and added a background series arc throughout a number of the scripts. I quickly decided that I’d like to put the scripts into a book. Originally it was going to be all the scripts that I did during 2016 – but as I have now added the story arc I will wait to put the book out when that element is concluded, sometime during 2017 now; there's no rush! It may be that I continue on after that and that there will eventually be enough for a second book – we shall see! I recently recorded the first few scripts for my podcast and am aiming to record them all eventually. I am glad to be able to add that Toppie himself has agreed to play his character in any script where he appears, should I reach that far in recording them.

Q. How did The Smellcast’s Toppie Smellie become involved with this project?

I’ve been a listener of THE SMELLCAST and the anarchic discussion show LOTSL for two or three years now and Toppie is involved in both. Over that time, due to shared interests, we got chatting about my series, SUTTON PARK and his series, PICKLE HOLLOW – not to mention our love of the series DARK SHADOWS (1966-1971) amongst other things. Toppie later invited me to be a guest on his show and as this went so well I was keen to get him on THE SHY LIFE PODCAST, around the same time that I decided (with his blessing) to include him in my Shy Yeti scripts! It just seemed a nice idea for Shy Yeti and Toppie Smellie to exist in the same universe as, in real life, we live so far away.

Q. Can you tell us some more about your new show, THE SHY LIFE PODCAST?

A. It’s called THE SHY LIFE PODCAST and I’ve released 32 episodes since late May. It was one of those ideas that suddenly just happened! It began as a vague idea that I’d like to do a podcast at some stage and then developed into something real and recorded once I started to look into how I could go about doing my own show. I decided that I’d like to do a show recorded both at home and on the move – with a mixture of interviews, sketches and poems - a show where I could change the format week by week and where it would be possible to record using my phone. Initially, I thought I’d spend the summer getting material together  - with the aim to release my first episodes in the autumn… Of course, in reality, it only took a day or two and I’d recorded enough for a short pilot episode – and decided to have a go at editing it. I released that and soon after, my first full episode also emerged; with both of them soon available on Soundcloud. It was only a few quick steps on before I had a logo sorted and the show was up on iTunes, as well – and I’ve not stopped since. So far we’ve had a mixture of silliness, star guests and locations – including recording overseas – and I’m very happy with how it’s progressing. Most of the guests have been friends of mine – or fellow podcasters or poets – discussing the things we have in common or things that they are particularly enthusiastic about. I’ve recorded at poetry shows – on buses and trains – whilst also pottering about on my way to somewhere else – I’ve also made sure to include plenty of my stories and poems. In October I did my first live show - which I hope to do at 4pm (EDT) / 9pm (GMT) on the third Sunday of every month - with my second live show due in a couple of weeks. I’ve listened to quite a lot of podcasts in the last few years and I think I’m safe in saying that, for better or worse, there aren’t many podcasts quite like THE SHY LIFE PODCAST; but I think this is a good thing!

Q. Why choose to go down the podcast route rather than doing more videos? Do you see this as a long-term project?

A. I suppose the best reason for podcasting is to say – because I’m very much into podcasts at the moment and have interacted (and become friends) with many podcasters in recent months and so this seems to be the right time to be seeing how I fit into the world of podcasting myself. I think the interviews, the reading of my work and the personal diary side of the show (including my cat’s nagging) certainly works best in an audio format; you can also present a far longer show as a podcast than you probably ever would with a youtube video and it's quite a different experience swapping visual for audio. I like that it’s something that people might listen to on their commute to work or whilst doing something else - as this is one of the reasons I first started listening to podcasts myself.

The audio format has also allowed me to include clips from ancient episodes of Sutton Park – vaguely filling in the context and then allowing the daft ad-libs to speak for themselves. I am currently going through the process of converting the old tapes to digital and this means that in the future I will be able to put more clips on Youtube, but it is nice to use this archive footage on the podcast too. Once again, I think I'm pretty safe in saying that there's nothing out there quite like Sutton Park!! (3200 episodes +!!)

I would definitely like to add that I do, most definitely, see this as a long term project – I’m not too worried about how long it takes to build an audience, but it’s been good to see the numbers creeping up month by month – although I know from having done all those Youtube videos that it is not always easy to understand how these figures work - fluctuating quite wildly at times. Still, it’s fun to see new people discovering the podcast and to see new download figures for the older episodes, as listeners decide that they would like to begin at the beginning.

Looking back, I'm pretty proud of all my Youtube / Vimeo videos that I made and I’m using a lot of the lessons learnt whilst making those when I’m working on my podcast. Many podcasts are recorded in one sitting, with maybe minimal editing – whilst mine is often made up from a number of shorter sketches or segments recorded at different times, rather like those videos, in a way.

Inspired by these older videos I have been making some super-short videos clips – maybe a minute long and perfect for social media – that promote certain episodes of the show, especially the ones where I have filmed overseas or there is a special occasion. It is nice to still have a chance to use video as a way of promoting the show – but I can't see myself ever really progressing to vblogs as I know from my own experience that I really don’t have time to watch video podcasts – podcasts are perfect for me whilst I am doing something else – commuting or shelving books or the like, but everybody has a different experience to tell.

The more I listen to podcasts the more I have realised how many different varieties there are and how some of these varieties may blend to create slightly new hybrids. I don’t tend to listen to big budget shows - although with some good editing it's amazing how polished some smaller podcasts can sound. Of course, sound quality is really one of the major selling points, with doing something original and different being a close second. I also follow a few podcasts that focus on horror films – many of them pretty obscure films and you simply don’t get “big budget” podcasts that discuss these films – they are perfect for well-versed fans to discuss. I also listen to a number of topical or personal diary shows – sometimes these are separate or sometimes they merge together.

Whether rightly or wrongly I would say that my show is a mixture of all the different styles of show – diary, on location, discussion – of all manner of topics; it’s whatever I want it to be that week! Sure, we do talk a lot about me, but we also discuss films and music and some of our interviews cover quite serious subjects. I still love the fact that I record with my phone and can just take it out and start recording at a moment’s notice – in a way that might be harder to do if I was working with video or with more sound equipment. It’s also fun to be focussing on different guests each episode (or even “being” the guest on more than one occasion!) I’m not saying that I’ll never complete another Youtube video, but for now it’s all about the podcast.

Q. You have also appeared on a number of other podcasts? How did that come about?

A. Well, so far I’ve only really featured on two or three podcasts – the most prominent of these being Toppie Smellie’s THE SMELLCAST where initially I sent a few sound files for inclusion, having been a listener for eighteen months or so and having chatted to Toppie online about shared interests. This eventually led to me being interviewed by Toppie back in the Spring – an interview that appeared over two SMELLCAST episodes during July 2016, (numbers 414-415). I’m most genuine when I say that it was quite an honour to be interviewed by a fellow creative who I respect; it means a great deal and because we share common ground and so that makes for a good interview, I think. We ended up talking again for THE SHY LIFE PODCAST in late July and those chats appeared on episode 15 and 16… I also recorded spots for the Halloween episode at that time and then we chatted again for some special shows in late September / early October 2016. Other than THE SMELLCAST I’ve also guested on LOTSL (Life On The Shit List) – another of my favourite shows. I was due to be a guest back in April – but technology got the better of me – so I’m very glad that second time around we were luckier and all came out well! Other than these shows I have also recorded messages or called in to POD IS MY CO-PILOT, BIG FATTY ONLINE, VERA SPEAKS… FOR REAL! and the recently retired GREETINGS FROM NOWHERE. In addition to this I have been sending a series of messages to Tim and James from the TASTES LIKE BURNING podcast. These messages were extremely silly and involved an alien kidnapping and some characters who ended up transferring over to my own show! It was especially nice that something so off the cuff has developed into another element of my own show!

Q. And you’ve also been making music?

A. Yes – on Garageband, mainly using and mixing together different loops that are available on that app… I’ve used an older version of Garageband on an old Mac that I inherited and recorded my two poetry albums that way – but I’ve never experimented with actual music to such an extent. My experience changed a few months back because my new iPhone has Garageband on it and so I was able to sit on the train and just play about with the loops and combine them until I had my very own instrumentals. Initially I was posting them on my Soundcloud account for fun – but it was soon after that I began including them on my podcast and this gave me a reason to make even more of them. It certainly helps that any music that one makes this way is copyright free for use on such projects. I was even recently commissioned to write a tune for my friend Lisa and Trowby’s new podcast, ROUND THE ARCHIVES as they were looking for some end title music! I loved doing that and also being in control of what music goes into my own show. In addition I also played piano in a recently recorded episode of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST – an instrument that I used to play as a child! For better or for worse, my piano playing will probably appear in some episodes towards the end of the year.

Q. You have also been back on hospital radio since we last chatted…

A. Yes, indeed – I made my return back in July – it was my first visit in over 4 years; how time flies! I also went back again at the start of October and read my poems alongside another writer, Nathan A Jones. The first time I was able to do a behind-the-scenes episode for the podcast and it’s been one of my highest rated episodes of the year. The second time I included our readings in an edition of the podcast where I was having a very busy weekend. I'm hoping to go back again, probably along with Nathan, in December.

Q. Are there any other projects that you expect to still be released this year?

A. My thoughts on this have changed a bit since earlier in the year – originally I was planning on releasing three new script-books before the end of the year – THE BEAST OF FRIENDS special and the second seasons of KENSINGTON GORE and HOT STUFF!! Now, THE BEAST SPECIAL will definitely be out towards the end of November; as it’s effectively ready, but as I’m returning to Venice in November – which is where the story is set – I want to add a few photos from that trip before it is published. The 2nd seasons will now probably be out in January – which means that I can take my time with those other two over the next month or two; they’re well over half-way done, so early 2017 is certainly doable. This all works out quite well – because I had planned on releasing the Yeti Scripts in early 2017 – but now this has also been put back as I have decided to add extra scripts. With a bit of luck 2017 will also see a collection of writings from my blog and possibly even the third seasons of GORE and HOT STUFF!!

Q. Is there any news on new Mouse Of Commons projects?

A. Not at the moment, I’m afraid – but there are definitely still between two or three books that I want to release once I have time to finish them… I have been working on these projects this year on and off in spare moments – but not enough that I expect anything to be released during 2016. Maybe I’ll write something mousey for my Christmas piece this year; it wouldn’t be the first time that I have done so and it would be nice to revisit those characters. I’ve certainly missed them!

Q. Will there be any further poetry projects?

A. The major one is a compilation of my writings from my blog over the last couple of years - although I’ve not written many poems at all lately, more short prose pieces. I have also considered repackaging my best of collections – combining SHY YETI RULES OKAY and SHY YETI STILL RULES OKAY and then adding any new pieces that I may have written since that second collection, which I think worthy of inclusion. In 2017 it’s 25 years since I first started writing poetry and I think that a renewed collection would be a nice way of celebrating that. I’m also considering tweaking my older collections POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR which are having their tenth birthdays – although there isn’t much that can be done to improve these that would make it worth doing a special edition for – and at the moment I’m also pretty happy with the look of all of my poetry collections, released since 2006.

Q. How did your show go at the Poetry Café back in July?

A. Very well – it was a nice crowd – not a big crowd, but then that space doesn’t really lend itself to a mob, especially in the summer! The twenty plus people we had there is just about perfect or else it starts to become uncomfortably cramped, not to mention stuffy. A couple of my friends travelled all the way up from Salisbury and I also had the pleasure to share the evening with my long-time poet side-kick, John Smallshaw and also Rich Harris, reading live for only the second time. What was also fun was that I recorded an episode of the podcast during the evening, which became episode 9 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST.

In addition to this Rich and I chatted again for episode 12 and I also managed to attend one of John Smallshaw’s open mic nights at St Barnabas’ in mid-to-late August! That was a really great evening and it most certainly made up for The Poetry Café not being available for the rest of 2016 due to renovations. There was time for me to read for about 20 minutes and I could have read more had I not had to head home (I was going to Luxembourg the following morning!) I mainly read from my books, A YETI WAY OF THINKING and POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and I'm hoping to be free for another of his open-mike nights in 2017.

Q. Would we be right in saying that your blog is still going strong?

A. Absolutely! In fact I’ve recently posted my 400th post! There have been times during 2016 that I have posted twice weekly – this mostly happens when I’ve got a book about to be released – so I’m posting about the new book and then posting something new in my second post of the week. I am also especially pleased that my blog is a pretty comprehensive record of every live show I have ever done and I am working towards more posts that pull together the information providing elements of the blog itself. It’s been a great base for me to stretch my creative legs over the last two years too – becoming the main place for me to share new short pieces of writing. I makes me very happy to reflect on the fact that 2017 is the 15th anniversary of SHY YETI'S SHY PLACE, (although it originally went by another title as I wasn't Shy Yeti as early as 2002).

Q. Where were your most recent trips to and do you have any plans for later in the year or early 2017?

A. Well, I went to Nice at the end of January, when I was still slow on my feet and then I went to Amsterdam in early June – although that trip was hampered by me being sick after a couple of days; that said, I was still able to record a podcast episode. Since then I’ve had two other trips – both in August – one to a holiday home in Kent and another to Luxembourg. In Kent I got a lot of time to myself, which was bliss – time to write and record episodes of the podcast… I did some particularly fun shows whilst I was there – as I found a way to combine ghost stories with reading my poems. The ideal situation! In Luxembourg I recorded more of a travelogue – although also managed to mix fact with a little fiction… I have one last adventure to come in 2016 – my birthday trip in November, when Calum and I will return to Venice… As yet I have no definite plans for 2017, although I wouldn’t mind a trip back to the States for either family reasons, podcasting reasons or both!

Q. Exciting news! Thank you for talking to us, Mr Yeti. See you again in the New Year!

A. It will be a pleasure as always! Thank you, as always, for your continued support!

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler 2016.