"I'M SURE I'VE SEEN THAT YETI SOMEWHERE BEFORE!"

SHY YETI GETS RECOGNISED...

Hello beasties!

Yes, this week it's another sketch featuring Shy Yeti! This week he gets recognised by a fan... Or at least he presumes it's a fan... Read on to discover what exactly happens! This piece was written between the 28th April and 3rd May 2016, although I came up with the idea earlier that same month. It will be included in the forthcoming A SHY YETI SKETCH-BOOK which I am currently working towards putting together.

Oh - but before I say any more I should just say that I have unexpectedly (to myself as much as anyone else) released the pilot episode of my new podcast - THE SHY LIFE PODCAST... Here's some more information...

This is the pilot episode for my forthcoming THE SHY LIFE PODCAST which I hope to start posting regularly later in the summer. This is a shorter episode, with no guests - but it does give you an idea of some of the silliness that will be involved. In this pilot episode you will find some daft secrets about libraries - a poem from my latest E.P. (THE KISS-ME-QUICK E.P. available from Bandcamp) and also some musings from legendary actor Dameus Twinklehorn about his appearances in a number of horror films in the late 1960s. Hopefully I will return soon with a full-length episode and future installments will be available on various hosts to download. This episode was recorded between Saturday 14th and Monday 16th May 2016. Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016.

It can be accessed at: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-pilot-episode

Next time I have another short story to share with you, which is appropriately themed towards the end of the month. It'll be my last post before I head off to Amsterdam where I intend to write a number of new pieces which I will post during June; I may also record a few little films to accompany a future project - but I won't say any more about that for now.

Enjoy the new Yeti sketch - and also that new podcast - more soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

SHY YETI GETS RECOGNISED...

SETTING THE SCENE:

Shy Yeti is out and about... In his poor little head he is far more famous than he actually is (which is not at all!), but that comes from too much hanging out with egotistical bears like Charlie Grrr and his yeti friend, Simon - but even then Charlie is a celebrated actor and singer in his own country and Simon has presented a few TV shows. Shy has only really ever written a few poems and hung around at parties - but there you go... Anyway! So, he is out and about when he hears somebody calling out...

VOICE: (shouting)

OI! YOU! FATSO...

SHY YETI LOOKS AROUND, WONDERING WHO IS BEING SHOUTED AT, BUT SEES NOBODY ELSE AROUND... NEXT SHY WONDERS WHO IS SPEAKING – BUT THEN, SUDDENLY, HE NOTICES A RATHER SMALL GUINEA PIG GENTLEMAN...

SHY: (somewhat reluctant)

Yes... Can I help?

GUINEA-PIG: (grumpily, suspicious, slightly curious)

The name's Wallow... Bertram Wallow... You're well-known, ain't you?

SHY: (impatient)

Well, I'm not Charlie Grrr if that's what you're thinking...

WALLOW: (scoffing slightly)

Of course you're not... You're not a bear, are you - and if you were Charlie Grrr you'd hardly be walking about on a pavement on your own, now would you?

SHY: (a little put out)

I'm not sure what you mean...

WALLOW: (matter-of-factly)

Well, a class act like Mr Grrr must have servants and minders and chauffeur-driven limousines... He wouldn’t be seen dead out here in the wilderness, alone…

SHY: (pausing for a moment - then nodding in agreement)

I suppose he does occasionally have people that ferry him about the place...

WALLOW: (scoffing again)

And what would you know about it?

SHY: (defensively)

Well, I do know him...

WALLOW: (surprised, but cocky)

Ha! Really? Well, you may do - but you're not famous...

SHY: (confused)

But I thought you just said that I was well known!?

WALLOW: (rather harshly)

Well known's not the same as famous... You're well known because people know you - you're a hanger on - a face at every party! It's a wonder that bear puts up with you following him about everywhere; Simon Yeti - a talent at nothing but showing up!

SHY: (slightly relieved)

Oh! Well, I'm terribly sorry to let you down - but I'm NOT actually Simon Yeti...

WALLOW: (surprised again, also confused)

You're NOT!? You look like him...

SHY: (trying to remain calm)

Ah, Well... I have been told that before - but that's just because we're both yeti... Anyway, he's somebody different... I do know him - actually he and Charlie are genuinely very good friends...

WALLOW: (pompously, dismissive)

Bah!

SHY: (insistently)

No... It's true... Simon used to be on telly in this country quite a lot ten or fifteen years ago - in fact he helped Mr Grrr develop his career over here away from Beargrrria...

WALLOW: (disinterested)

I don't know anything about any of that, mate...

SHY: (almost proudly)

They once built a time-machine together... It worked too - or so I've heard...

WALLOW: (chuckling)

Funny man... Are you sure you're not Simon Yeti?

SHY: (trying not to get cross)

Really! I'm not! Here... See... (he flashes his bus pass at the grumpy guinea pig)

WALLOW: (vague)

Fair enough... So who are you again if you're not Simon Yeti?

SHY: (beginning to sound impatient)

Didn't you read it? My name was on my bus pass... I'm Shy... Shy Yeti...

WALLOW: (dismissive)

Oh, sorry... That was a name, was it? Sorry - I thought it was a description of your mental health, your marital status - or something... Should I have heard of you?

SHY: (slightly sadly)

Not necessarily...

WALLOW: (outrageously rude)

Do you perform? Juggle? Tap-dance perhaps? Actually no - I can't imagine you tap-dancing – you'd fall off and do yourself a mischief; that's if the table didn't collapse first!

SHY: (flustered, slightly boastful)

Well, REALLY! I'll have you know that I'm a poet... I'm an actor too - on occasion... I've written articles - once I even auditioned for the Eurovision Song-contest only I shattered the camera lens...

WALLOW: (thinking it over, sounding thoughtful)

Fascinating! Actually, now I think about it that your name does ring a bell... Let me just google you... Actually no... Better still...

MR WALLOW TAKES HIS PHONE OUT AND MAKES A CALL - SHY LOOKS QUITE SHOCKED AND WONDERS IF HE SHOULD WALK AWAY; BY NOW MR WALLOW IS TALKING TO SOMEBODY WHO HE APPEARS TO KNOW VERY WELL...

I’m sorry – I’ve forgotten… Don’t worry! He’s here – I’ll just ask him… (he turns away from the phone to ask Shy a question) What did you say your name was again, Mr?

SHY: (through gritted teeth, trying very hard not to shout)

SHY YETI...

WALLOW: (calmly)

Oh yeah... I remember now... I'm just ringing me sister...

SHY:

But why?

WALLOW: (enthusiastically)

If anyone's heard of you she will have... She reads all the magazines... Spends most of her free-time down the local library warming her hands over the photo-copier...

SHY:

She doesn't work?

WALLOW: (chuckles)

Oh yes... She's the librarian there - but she refuses to have the heating on; cuts into the book budget, you see...

SHY:

Oh! I trained to be a librarian... Year ago now... I recently learnt all about shhh-ing... (peters off, as his companion is clearly not listening)

WALLOW: (talking on the phone, sounding quite chirpy)

Hey! Daphers... It's me... What do you mean, who? It's me... Bertie... Your brother... You'll never guess who I'm with... Ha! Actually no... You'll really won't guess - I've never heard of him...  (Shy roles his eyes) Says he's called Shy Yeti... Says he's a poet - but that he once trained to be a librarian!

SHY: (whispers)

I gave it up to pursue my writing...

WALLOW: (chuckling)

He says he gave up working in the library to write books... By the look of him it won't be long before he wishes that he was back stamping books like you lot... Don't give up the day job, aye!?

SHY: (taken aback)

That's not very polite...

WALLOW: (not listening to him)

Oh! Really? You have heard of him! What, really? REALLY! Now I don't like the sound of that... Do you want me to bop him one on the nose?

SHY: (sounding worn out)

NOW what have I done?

WALLOW: (indignantly)

She says you made her cry...

SHY: (defensively)

I never did...

WALLOW: (disapproving, protective)

What did he do to you, love? Oh! Oh, I see... (looks back at Shy) Apparently one of your little verses made her cry... You weren't rude about her, were you?

SHY: (flustered)

Of course not! We've never met - I don't think we've ever met...

WALLOW: (still somewhat suspicious)

You're absolutely certain that you've never dated any lady named Daphne?

SHY: (awkwardly)

It's unlikely! I tend not to frequent that... area of... experience... If you see what I mean...

WALLOW: (quite upbeat, when all is said and done)

Oh, really... Into fellas, are we? Well, that's alright then... Of course, I am married, by the way, to a lady - just in case you wondered...

SHY: (attempting to flatter)

Thank you for clarifying... And what a lucky lady she certainly is...

WALLOW: (becoming suddenly impatient)

Isn't she, just? Anyway... My sister wants a word... (he holds the phone up) In a way I’m surprised – but in another way it’s just like her – she actually seems to know who you are, so be nice to her – she’s my little sister… It’s Daphne, remember… She’s 42.

SHY: (slightly lost for words)

Oh,.. Good age! Hello... Daphne?

DAPHNE: (chipper, almost disbelieving)

Hello... Good heavens! Is that really the poet, Shy Yeti?

SHY:

It is... How nice to speak to a...

DAPHNE: (curious)

A fan! Oh yes... Very much so... So, are you friends with my brother?

SHY: (slightly fazed)

Err... I guess... We've only just met, actually... (pauses) I must say - this is quite unusual... I'm not sure I've ever...

DAPHNE: (flattering)

Had a fan before? Oh really, Mr Yeti... I can't believe that!

SHY: (interested to hear)

So which of my books do you have, exactly? Which poem was it that made you cry?

DAPHNE: (sounding a little awkward)

Well, it was less of a poem and more of a verse, actually...

SHY: (encouraging)

They're not so terribly different...

DAPHNE: (weakly)

It was in a card though - not a book...

SHY: (suddenly recalling that he had once written verse for such things)

Oh...

DAPHNE: (more enthusiastically)

It was in a valentine's card... How did it go now? Roses are red... Violets are pink... You look quite daft and you probably stink! Lovely! It really moved me...

SHY: (uncertain)

Really? Are you sure I wrote that?

DAPHNE: (insistent)

It says so on the back of the card...

SHY: (mutters)

Oh well... I must have done then...

DAPHNE: (rather over-sharing)

I heard you on local radio too, once... You were very good... My pet silver fish wasn't so keen though - he nibbled the carpet and then pooed into the gap he'd made...

SHY: (still a tad baffled)

Oh... I do apologise... I'm not sure if I can offer any form of compensation...

DAPHNE: (feistily)

You could always come to my library and read to some of my enquirers... If you would... Sorry! That's rather bold of me to ask, I know...

SHY: (thinking about it for a second and then replying)

I'm sure I could do that; if it would make up in some way for the damage to your carpet!

WALLOW: (crossly)

Did you damage her carpet?

SHY: (impatiently)

Not me... Her silver fish - but it appears my voice may be to blame...

DAPHNE: (pleading)

Will you come along? Right now, Mr Shy? We're nearby... My brother will show you...

SHY: (growing suddenly quite enthusiastic)

I will, yes... Yes, of course - it will be my pleasure...

...AND SO TIME PASSES AND MUCH TO HIS OWN SURPRISE SHY GOES WITH BERTRAM WALLOW TO HIS SISTER DAPHNE'S LIBRARY AND HE IS RELIEVED TO DISCOVER THAT IT IS QUITE A NORMAL VENUE FOR SUCH BOOK-RELATED ACTIVITIES... SADLY, HOWEVER, THERE ARE VERY FEW PEOPLE WAITING FOR HIM TO DO THE READING...

DAPHNE: (happily)

When I got to work this morning I had no idea that I'd be sharing a cup of tea with my favourite poet – my favourite yeti, no less...

WALLOW: (shocked)

Steady on, old girl… (turning to Shy) She's just being nice... Don’t let it go to your head!

SHY: (whispers back)

Alright… I won’t… I'm well aware of that...

DAPHNE: (she has still heard them, trying to reassure Shy)

No... No... Not at all...

WALLOW: (continues)

You do realise that she only invited you because the original speaker couldn't show up... That's why there's nobody here now... They heard you were coming... You were not a suitable replacement...

DAPHNE: (losing her temper)

Don't be so mean... That isn't the truth at all...

SHY: (apologetic)

Really... I understand if it is... Who was your original speaker?

DAPHNE: (slightly unimpressed)

Oh... One of the darlings of the Women's Institute... Lady Tabitha Whatnot...

SHY: (somewhat mockingly)

A lady, no less! Is that her actual surname? I thought they were usually double-barrelled!

DAPHNE: (trying not to laugh)

Oh, she is... I just can't remember what is and I can't be bothered to go and look it up... She wasn't my choice! I do recall that she was meant to be speaking about the science of dropped-stitches in the self-production of cardigans and other knit-wear! Exciting, aye!?

SHY: (sighing)

Ah! Well, I never had a chance of competing against that – or her - now, did I?

WALLOW: (chuckling)

You said it...

DAPHNE:

Lilywhite-Abbers...

SHY: (confused)

I never did... Sorry, Daphne - I beg your pardon is what I meant to say! Was that a curse or a sneeze or possibly a smidgeon of both?

DAPHNE: (pleased with herself)

Sorry... That was her name... I remembered it now... But anyway... Yes... Perhaps it was a tall-order on this occasion - the ladies were very keen on hearing what Lady Tabitha - had to say; if we'd have known that you were coming instead then it would have been different... I guess the mistake was expecting the audience from stitching to be the same as an audience who wants to hear daft poems about cats!

SHY: (slightly indignant)

I don't only write about cats, you know...

WALLOW: (supportive, for once)

And to be fair old ladies do tend to own cats... They never gave him a chance...

SHY: (flattered for a moment)

True... And thank you... He's right!

DAPHNE: (kindly)

He is... Never mind, aye... I say we have the show anyway - we've an audience of sorts...

THEY ALL STARE AHEAD AT THE AFOREMENTIONED "AUDIENCE" WHICH IS MADE UP OF STUFFED TOYS AND DOLLS FROM THE KID'S SECTION...

WALLOW: (back to being rude again)

Better turn-out than expected; although apparently the stuffed giraffe refused to turn up!

SHY: (snaps, but then grins)

Oh shut up... Shall I begin?

DAPHNE: (excitedly)

Yes, please...

SHY: (slightly put out)

You're not going to announce me?

DAPHNE: (shaking her head, smiling weakly)

I don't think so, no...

SHY: (taking a deep breath before beginning)

Okay, right! So, I intend to begin this afternoon with one of my dafter, sillier poems! It’s called DISCO YETI and it’s one that reminds me of my younger, more agile days!

DAPHNE COUGHS LOUDLY TWICE TO GET HIS ATTENTION, SHY LOOKS OVER.

DAPHNE: (disappointed)

Won't you do my favourite?

SHY: (weary, but with patience)

Yes... Yes... Alright... (clears throat again) Roses are red... Violets are pink... You look quite daft and you probably stink!

DAPHNE APPLAUDS ENTHUSIASTICALLY - WALLOW JUST SHAKES HIS HEAD!

DAPHNE: (applauding loudly)

MORE!! MORE!! (she looks cross and begins stamping her foot) MOOORRRRREEE!!!

SHY:

Oh... Really, you mean!? (he beams) Roses are red... Violets are pink... You look quite daft and you PROBABLY stink!

THERE IS MORE APPLAUSE - WALLOW GETS TO HIS FEET AT THIS POINT..

WALLOW: (clearly ready to go)

Right... That's that then! Are we done?

SHY: (disappointed)

You don't want any more?

DAPHNE: (finally finishing clapping)

Oh, darling - I'm sorry... I think we've run out of time... Anyone for a cup of tea?

SHY: (sighing again)

Oh, go on then... I've got nothing else planned...

DAPHNE: (jumping to her feet - hurrying away)

MARVELLOUS!!

WALLOW: (lowers his voice)

I wouldn't stay long - she'll be on about her in-growing toe-nails and her latest doomed love affair if you linger too long... I should know, I live with her...

SHY: (suddenly having an idea)

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

SUDDENLY BERTIE WALLOW GOES SILENT AND WANDERS OFF TO SIT IN A CORNER; DAPHNE RETURNS CARRYING A PLATE OF BISCUITS AND LOOKS BOTH SURPRISED AND IMPRESSED...

DAPHNE:

Golly! You really are up on your current library techniques aren't you? There's always a job here if you want it...

SHY: (slightly worried)

Don't tell anyone... I knew it would come in handy sometime, but I'm not actually chartered... A librarian friend of mine taught me it...

DAPHNE: (loyally)

Won't say a thing... I'll go and fetch the tea-pot...

SHY: (sighing again)

Fantastic! (mutters to self) I shall contemplate my afternoon and maybe even write a poem about it...  

Original Idea: April 2016… Written between Thursday 28th April and Tuesday 3rd May 2016, with some additions on Thursday 11th May 2016. Formatting and re-writing completed on Saturday 14th May 2016.

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016.

ANOTHER GRRR-EAT INTERVIEW - MAY 2016

BACK IN THE BEARGRRRIAN GAZETTE...

Hello beasties!

Guess what!? Yes... It's another interview with that lot down at The Beargrrrian Gazette... They want to know what I've been up to - what I'm writing and what I'll be doing next!

A TENTH SLIGHTLY-OVER 60 SECOND CHAT WITH SHY YETI

Here is recent interview from Beargrrria’s top magazine for chat; THE GROWL GAZETTE. They know me there due partly to my dubious connection with Beargrrrian superstar, Charlie Grrr. This is the tenth time that they have interviewed me in recent years – they really MUST be short of people to speak to. This time I’m mainly discussing what I’ve published this year and what is yet to come. So, here’s what they asked and what I said in reply; straight from the yeti’s mouth, as it were!!!

Q. Welcome Mr Yeti!

Hello… It’s absolutely fantabulous to be back!

Q. Please can you tell us about the books that you’ve published so far in 2016?

A. Certainly. Well, I had three out in the first four months of the year… The first season of my new scripted series (and BEAST OF FRIENDS spin-off) HOT STUFF!! came out in January, whilst in March I released A YETI WAY OF THINKING – my long over-due collection of poems, short stories and prose pieces. Finally, in early May, I put out the first season of another BEAST spin-off, KENSINGTON GORE… These are script-novels, by which I mean that they are written like scripts, with a minimum of description – but they are meant to be read, which is not to say that they couldn’t also be adapted for performance. It’s the same format that I used with THE BEAST OF FRIENDS series and which has served me well for the last few years. To be honest I wish more books were written this way, I just don’t have time or patience for 900 page epics anymore! My inspiration comes from Pulp fiction and soap operas – a story that leads to a cliff-hanger at the end of every episode/chapter – harking back to my SUTTON PARK days. You really do need to write for yourself first…

Q. Does it feel good to finally release your YETI WAY OF THINKING collection, especially considering how long you were working on it for?

A. Oh yes – there was definitely a time when I never thought I’d ever get it completed because it was becoming so large and there was so much editing to be done! I’d finished writing the actual material, but the behind the scenes pieces from the blog were really bulking up the book until that section of it was far larger than the actual third with the poems and stories in. Including behind the scenes extracts from my blog works fine when a collection is written in six months or a year – but this one took far longer and so in the end the solution was just to include the key things that I’d been up to during the writing of the volume – the gigs and my trip to Portland.

I enjoyed working on the cover – it changed a bit from the original idea of having a collage of photos – most of them ones that I had used as my Facebook profile pictures during 2012 or 2013. In the end these images squeezed down were too low resolution – but it gave me an idea to include the photos that I did – subjects that a yeti might be “thinking” about, for instance. In the end that meant a photo of a cat (Deeley!), a cake, a graffiti skeleton (to represent horror) and myself… (Not that this means I just think of myself – but I did think that maybe I should be on the cover!) The back cover includes a colour version of the Onion Man drawing that my friend in Australia, Paul Webster drew for the book. I thought it a shame only to use the black and white version as it had originally been so very colourful.

I’m looking forward to performing some of these new pieces at my summer show in July – although as the material contained in it was written between 2012 and 2014 a number of the pieces have already been performed in previous shows.

Q. Can you tell us a little more about the story and characters that appear in HOT STUFF!! ? When are you hoping to release the second season?

A. To answer your first question HOT STUFF!! is set in a library in a town (or maybe it’s a city) called Spectrum where there has recently been an unexplained fire, which the head librarian perished in. Horner was a good friend of hers and has been summoned to help caretaker the service – partly to hold the fort and partly to work out what exactly went on. The library staff are made up of a mix of characters – some who I have written for before and some who have been created specifically for the new series. Mavis and Edie, for example, I have been writing about since the early 1990s and in HOT STUFF!! they work on the enquiry desk as library clerks and later in the first season another character who I have been writing about for years, a mystic called Fatima joins Horner’s investigations. Other staff include handy-man Felix and long-time library employee, Arthur – not to mention cleaning staff and a work placement student, but for now I don’t want to say too much for fear of giving away too many twists. The first season is made up of eight linked scripts.

The second, third and fourth seasons are already written – but I am still at the formatting and rewriting stage on these. I am hoping to have the second season ready to release around September, but there is no set date as yet… Seasons three and four should be published during 2017 and I am currently about to start writing season five without any current decision on how long the series should run in all. I am aware that as the series continues having numbered seasons might make people think that they can’t simply drop in at any point – which actually they could; so at some later point I might go back and give the seasons overall titles – rather like the BEAST OF FRIENDS movie special that is due out later in the year.

Q. Moving on, can you tell us a more about the story and characters in KENSINGTON GORE? When do you expect to release the second season?

A. KENSINGTON GORE is about a small team of characters who manage a sinister block of apartments in the Kensington Gore area of London – next to the Royal Albert Hall… The leads are made up of the remaining characters that first appeared in THE BEAST OF FRIENDS – Katrina, Warren and Lucy. Another character from this series, Warren’s mother, Ashley also features – when first introduced she was rather an unlikeable character but has mellowed over time and is one of my favourites to write for as you can’t predict how she will react to all that occurs.

The second season of this show is already written and busy being proofread; I am hoping to have it out around November – but there is no date set as yet… I have just finished the first draft of the third season and aim to move onto writing the 4^th season any day now. Later seasons of both this and HOT STUFF!! do allow characters from each series to visit the other – so the two work separately or together.

Q. You’ve written quite a lot in advance – does the process take a long time?

A. In a way it does – I’m quite a long way in advance of what I’m publishing – but that’s a good thing as it means that I know for sure what is coming next and also that guarantees to any readers that I won’t suddenly get bored and leave them in the lurch. If I stop or rest either series I will endeavour to plan it as such and not just loose interest as I have done with a couple of my older projects when something new has turned my head. So far I’ve found that the two series are working in slightly different ways – HOT STUFF!! seems to complete its main plot-arc within the confines of its season – with a little teaser cliff-hanger at the end, whereas KENSINGTON GORE concludes each season with a far more major cliff-hanger – a fire, a massacre, a life threatening event… I can’t say too much or I’ll be giving stuff away. As far as time taken to write each season it probably takes as long or longer to format and rewrite as it does to write a first draft – so between a year to eighteen months from end to end. At the moment I hope to release two seasons of both HOT STUFF!! (HS) and KENSINGTON GORE (KG), a year. I’ve just completed the third series of KG and am plotting season four – whilst busily proofing season two for release no later than November 2016. As far as HS is concerned I’m proofing season 2 and have just finished season 4, with season 5 pretty much plotted out. At this rate I’ll have enough HS to last into the first half of 2018 and enough KG to keep me going for all of 2017. I’ve no plans to end either series, for the moment, although I had originally planned to just do three series of each. I enjoy writing each for different reasons – but each has a different setting and line-up of characters that I love returning to.

Q. Are you looking forward to releasing your special BEAST OF FRIENDS movie-length special, YETI DON’T FALL BACKWARDS? Is it true that you hope to go back to Venice to promote it?

A. Oh yes – I can’t believe that it’s almost two years since I began work on that one – and that’s partly been from choice, as I’ve been working on other series and wanted a bit of a break between the release of season four of BEAST and the arrival of the movie length special. The movie actually fits in nicely at the end of season 3 of KG – it is set in that time-line but is a flash-back to a past adventure that we never saw. This means that the actual main story in the movie is set towards the end of the second season of BEAST and features the old core team of Horner, Katrina, Warren and Colin. As far as going to Venice is concerned – it is certainly my intention to return there in either October or November 2016 and it would be nice if the book was out by then so I can show it around the city where it was conceived! Somehow that sounds wrong, but hey – it’s Venice and Venice is never wrong!

Q. Will that definitely be the last project we see under the BEAST banner?

Never say never… I’m still writing with most of the main characters that I introduced during BEAST – so there is no reason that I couldn’t reunite them at some stage or write another “lost” adventure, as I enjoy writing with the core cast from late season 2. As it is, you will definitely see a number of cameos between the two spin-off series which briefly unites the team. This said, I have no current plans to write anything new under the BEAST title right at the moment.

Q. Do you have plans for any new series? You spoke, last year, of a Horner special – what happened to that? Is it still in the pipe-line for consideration?

A. In the end the idea that I had for the Horner special morphed into the 4^th season of HOT STUFF!! I thought it had a more solid chance of working in that form – rather than having to invent all-new characters to surround Horner. Using that plot as the basis for the 4^th season also allowed the series to stretch its wings as far as discovering new areas of Spectrum City. I did write a couple of diary entries on my blog, which will be included as extras when the season is officially released. They were about Horner encountering a zombie character in both Devon and Lyon – but these can still be read as a background to events in season 4.

As far as new series are concerned I hope to be releasing a script-book of sketches that involve my Shy Yeti character encountering various different situations – a number of these sketches have already been published on my blog, but I’d like to write enough to collect them together into one volume – A SHY YETI SKETCH-BOOK, if you will; possibly released before the end of the year.

Q. Can you tell us about your recent KISS-ME-QUICK E.P. on Bandcamp? We believe that this has been awaiting release for some time. Was it actually lost?

A. Strictly speaking, no… It was languishing incomplete on my hard-drive, although all 12 poems were converted and ready to be heard – each verse having, between 2, 3 and in one case five different takes. All I really needed to do was listen through to them and decide which version I preferred and wanted to release. Initially I was just going to make it a 4-track E.P., until I recalled that my previous two albums contained over 30 tracks each, in which case 12 tracks seemed about right to call it an E.P. Well, why not… Originally it was going to be named the CAT-LIKE E.P. after one of the poems – but I decided that people might think it an E.P. of animal poems, when in fact it's more about relationships.

Q. What made you decide to release it now and not just flesh it out into a full album? Also, do you have a favourite recording on the new E.P.?

A. It was a complete surprise to myself that I released it when I did! I was at home on Saturday 23^rd April with no plans for the day when I came across the files – surprised that I had as many as 12 recordings to work with. I have been considering making further recordings, especially as I am not currently making films – not to mention that I have Garageband on my new phone – so could possibly use that for future recordings. I decided that whatever I do next I should really start afresh – or else there would be a big gap between the recordings. It’s nice to be able to release this E.P. now and then to move on to something new, if that is what occurs.

As far as which recordings I like best – there were a couple of poems where I added a few sound effects along with the verse and the one that I think worked the best was the piece, MISTER MOSQUITO where I tried to make the music tinkle along like the mosquito. I think if I do record further poems then I would like to do them more like that – it definitely makes it more fun to listen to.

Q. What projects do you expect to still be released this year?

A. The books I’m aiming to publish before the end of 2016 are the second seasons of HS and KG, the movie length BEAST special and maybe the Shy Yeti sketch-book; but we shall see how things go as the year moves on…

Q. You’ve not published a Mouse Of Commons book in a while – is there still more to come from Gladstone McWhiskers?

A. There definitely is – it’s just a matter of having the time to get it done… I still have a book of short stories and another novel to complete – but progress is slow, I’m afraid. I am progressing with both projects in short bursts when I have spare time – so I’m sure I will move on a little further this year. In a way it’s probably a bit like the problem I had with A YETI WAY OF THINKING – it was almost but not quite done for a year or eighteen months, but a completion date for that project seemed to get further and further away – until one weekend I did lots of work on it and suddenly there was a light at the end of the tunnel. All I need to do with the Mouse short story collection is to get a couple of stories typed and then I can proof it and pass it to my mum (in her role as professional proof-reader) to give it a final once over… I’ll get there eventually! I really will… Poor Gladstone and Ollie!!

Q. Will there be any further poetry projects?

A. I’m sure there will be – but having released A YETI WAY OF THINKING and planning one – if not two poetry shows, I think that will be my quota for 2016. I’m really having a break from writing poetry – although I have a lot of ideas and am working on one or two of those (such as one that I recently put on my blog) I am not rushing to do more. I have, however, begun compiling SHY YETI RULES O.K. (2009) and SHY YETI STILL RULES O.K. (2012) into one volume, as well as updating it for 2017 with favourites written since 2012, which is provisionally entitled SHY YETI’S GRRR-EASTEST HITS. I have also just started compiling a book of everything new that I have published on the blog since the start of 2015 – as A YETI WAY OF THINKING’s contents concludes at the end of 2014. It’s provisionally entitled GETTING BLOGGY WITH SHY YETI. Both books won’t be out until early 2017.

As far as re-releases are concerned, I may take a look at refreshing my POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR collections from 2006 and 2007. They are my first two books that I designed specifically to publish on lulu.com, but they actually still look pretty good and don’t need the sort of re-working that my first eight pre-lulu books needed to get them into shape. I’ve also toyed with doing another themed compilation but these are all ideas that would be nice to do, but are rainy day projects rather than anything of a high priority.

Q. Are you looking forward to your next Poetry Café show in July?

A. My last Poetry Café show was in October 2015 and due to ill-health it was the only opportunity that I got to launch my yeti poems that year… I’m hoping to do, at least, two shows during 2016 and – as you say – the first of those is on Friday 8^th July… John Smallshaw, my trusty poet ally should be back and we are hoping that others will show up on the night to read open-mike. I intend to celebrate the release of A YETI WAY OF THINKING on that occasion – with a number of friends travelling in from out of town – so it’ll be nice to give that volume a night of its own.

Q. From the sounds of it your blog is still going strong – is this the case?

A. Very much so – I’m currently posting at least once a week and during April I did so twice-weekly – as I was promoting KENSINGTON GORE and also had quite a back-log of new pieces to post.

Q. Where was your most recent trip to and do you have any locations in mind this year?

A. Well, my most recent trip overseas was a return to Nice back in January and I wrote a number of pieces whilst out there – one linked to a future season of KENSINGTON GORE and one a stand-alone prose piece. I also have another trip coming up at the end of this month – a return to Amsterdam and I’m intending to write a holiday diary, a prose piece and a Shy Yeti sketch.

Q. Exciting news! Thank you for talking to us, Mr Yeti. See you again later in the year!

A. Absolutely! It’s always a pleasure to catch-up!

Next time I'll be sharing with you another new Shy Yeti sketch... In this one Shy gets recognised by a fan - or maybe that's not quite what he is... Join me again next time and all will be revealed!!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. I think Deeley may well have been replaced by an evil cat gremlin in that last photo! He looks enormous - and extremely grumpy! (Sorry, Deels...)

P.P.S. The photos in this post were partly taken on a trip home to my home village, near Salisbury in April, around my flat with Deeley and whilst on a walk nearby in early May whilst recording some daft bits for a friend's pod-cast.

All contents of this post are Copyright, Paul Chandler 2016. Thanks to Toby W for the Deeley photos.