Tuesday, August 01, 2017

HOT STUFF!! BACK FOR A SECOND SEASON...

WE'RE ALL READY TO GO!! LET'S GET HOT!!

Hello beasties!

As I've mentioned before we are almost ready to finally release the second seasons of both my series, HOT STUFF!! and KENSINGTON GORE; stand-alone spin-offs from my BEAST OF FRIENDS series... (If you recall I released YETI DON'T FALL BACKWARDS, the BEAST movie earlier this year!) A couple of posts back we discussed KENSINGTON GORE - Season 2 and this time we'll be talking about the second season of HOT STUFF!! - but first up I have a new podcast to share with you...

Before I introduce Episode 97 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST in more detail I'd like to tell you a little story about how it all came together and why it replaced the originally scheduled edition...

I had intended episode 97 to be our episode from Hamburg and I had been intending on editing it whilst I was away in Scotland, last week. However, partly due to the fact that the episode is made up of lots of small sections and partly due to finding a slight issue in episode 96 which I corrected (oh, and being on holiday and busy!) I simply didn't get it anywhere near complete. I decided instead to alter the schedule slightly and to record an episode with Yeti Uncle John in one take which would mean quicker editing; this I did as soon as I got home on Friday the 28th July 2017. In the back of my mind I had decided that it would be nice to include some audio that my friend, Nick Goodman, had recently digitised; although I was yet to listen through to it and had no memory of exactly what I had recorded. When I finally did get a chance to listen back to the file I discovered the best quality audio was not the recording of my Muddled Memoirs Of Roland Quaverall, but a sketch concerning a character named Candleman; co-created by myself and my friend, Lee Freeman. There was also a one-act audio play called Shadow Play which I didn't even realise existed on audio; I'm pretty sure it no longer exists in any printed format - so was very happy to discover that I still had a copy in some form. I'm unsure, thinking back, but I think (as this was written around 1990/91) that it is related to a piece that I presented at school during one of our class assemblies, as I always used to organise them for our form. Either that or Shadow Play is a more developed version of something that I produced around that time; as most of the assemblies were learnt ad-libs. Anyway. these recordings are swampier than the audio during the rest of this episode - but it's perfectly clear for your listening pleasure and you'll get to hear me doing silly voices during the Candleman sketch which really shows you that I was just as daft back in the early 90s as I am now. There really is no hope for me. (Yay!)

Anyway - here is the episode that I'm talking about...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 97: EMERGENCY EPISODES AND PEEPER QUEENS...


Here we are for episode NINETY SEVEN and once again Mr Yeti has too much on his plate and has fallen behind on his editing. Thankfully Yeti Uncle John is on hand to do an emergency episode in which we get to catch up with the regulars, not to mention encountering The Peeper Queen. Paul also has some flash prose for you - and shares some recently unearthed recordings from his later school-days in the early 1990s. Next episode we really will be heading to Germany - to the city of Hamburg! Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 97 was recorded on Friday 28th July 2017 - with inserts recorded between late May and mid-July 2017 and recently restored archive recordings from 1990/91; thanks to Nick Goodman for all his hard work in preserving these. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

97:  https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-97-emergency-episodes-and-peeper-queens

So - as promised, let me tell you about the 2nd series of HOT STUFF!!


SYNOPSIS...

Here we present SEASON 2 of, HOT STUFF!!,  IN WHICH THE PAST ROLLS BACK TO CAUSE TROUBLE FOR THOSE WORKING IN SPECTRUM LIBRARY. THERE ARE NEW ARRIVALS, ONE WHO MAY BE UNDEAD AND ANOTHER WHO MAY BE THE REINCARNATION OF THE OLD HEAD LIBRARIAN! IT’S ALL GO… WHAT IS MORE, ONE OF THE STAFF IS BEING HAUNTED BY THE GHOST OF HIS DEAD WIFE…

HOT STUFF!! – SEASON TWO 


So Far: The team at Spectrum City Library are protecting a phoenix egg which is about to hatch – but unfortunately there are many rival factions also after the bird! 


SCRIPT 1: THE FEATHER 


Horner and Fatima get to know the new Fiona – but they tell everybody that she is Fiona’s niece, Jo. Horner is curious to see how Nixon will react to her… 


SCRIPT 2: THE TEMP 


A temp arrives which neither Fatima nor Horner can recall requesting. His arrival causes much discussion; giggles from Edie and Mavis – an awakening of repressed feelings for Felix – whilst Arthur is left shaken by flashbacks from his past... 


SCRIPT 3: THE QUIZ 


The team are surprised to find a monster in their midst, but his presence proves a positive experience. Felix goes on a first date – and Fatima lends a helping hand. 


SCRIPT 4: THE PICNIC 


Horner and Fatima make peace with one another when they take Jo and Nixon for a picnic. Nixon goes missing however and a lady helps them, but issues a warning. Meanwhile, back at the library the past begins to cause all manner of havoc… 


SCRIPT 5: THE PAST 


Fatima confides in Horner her choice for new librarian. Will he approve? Sebastian receives a warning and discusses it with Felix… Is the past at war with them? 


SCRIPT 6: THE PHONY 


On the day of Arthur’s leaving party the truth behind Fiona’s return is finally revealed! Meanwhile the ghosts are scaring away all the customers… 


SCRIPT 7: THE REGRESSION 


Inferno the phoenix hatches, whilst Arthur confesses to Horner his reasons for leaving – just as Tula arrives having had an awful journey. Sebastian asks Fatima to help – but the library begins to regress into the ghostly past. 


SCRIPT 8: THE FUTURE 


Time is running out to find the book and banish the ghosts as the past invades. How will the matter be resolved? Arthur and Fatima say farewell… Inferno and Nixon get on very well – but Jo has some surprising news! Will Horner and Sebastian leave too? Will Tula have second thoughts? Are the library’s days numbered?


Next time we'll be up in Scotland - seeing what I got up to with Calum and his mum during my return to Dunbar... Hopefully we'll also be able to announce the exact release date of the two books...

That's all for now - enjoy the HOT STUFF!! extract...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx


EXTRACT FROM HOT STUFF!! - SEASON 2...

BACK IN THE LIBRARY EDIE AND MAVIS PEER INTO THE DARKNESS OF THE CORRIDOR THAT LINKS THE MAIN LIBRARY TO THE MARLOW HALL AND THEY WONDER WHO HAS SPOKEN…

EDIE: (trying not to sound afraid)

Hello!?! Who is it!?

MAVIS: (backing her up, sounding more confident)

Hello!? Maybe you’d like to turn the lights back on!?

THEY BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF WHEN THEY SEE WHO IT IS…

FATIMA: (apologetically)

It’s me dears… Sorry… Arthur’s feeling a bit creaky… The past is playing tricks on us – I’m afraid we’re the only four left awake… Well, the only four who aren’t ghosts – that is… Although it’s still pretty quiet down there – it’s almost as if it’s building up to something… I suppose that’s probably exactly what is happening!

ARTHUR: (wearily)

I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s coming over me – my body feels like lead…

EDIE: (sounding quite upset)

Oh, Arthur… You look dreadful… Come and sit down; you’ll make yourself ill… What’s wrong with him, Fatima? Where are the others?

FATIMA: (phrasing it gently)

Asleep… But it’s not their fault… Time is reversing… Have you noticed the building changing up here yet? Things altering – disappearing even…

MAVIS: (eagerly)

Oh… Yes… We did… Some like that happened only a few minutes ago – it was quite dramatic! The new IT suite just vanished… I’m sorry, Edie…

EDIE: (pretending to be offended)

She blamed it on me… Although think about it, Mave… It’s not that new now… Late 80s? Must be… I mean, it’s newer than the rest of the building, for sure…

MAVIS: (sounding slightly unnerved)

We should probably move back into the main library – the Marlow Hall was built in the late 50s… We’ll be standing out in the yard at this rate…

FATIMA: (coming over kind of bossy)

Sounds like a good idea… Arthur… Don’t sit down after all – we’re heading back down into the main library… Come on now… Time to get moving…

ARTHUR: (slightly grumpy)

Fine… Fine… I can do it… I’m not knackered yet!

EDIE: (helpful)

We’ll help you dear… Can we lie him on the shelving trolley and push him maybe?

MAVIS: (mutters)

Edie… No…

ARTHUR: (sounding quite keen)

I wouldn’t mind…

FATIMA: (disapproving, by now very bossy)

Don’t be a wuss, Arthur… Come along… You can make it… The Marlow Hall hasn’t even vanished yet – so we’ve definitely not passed your best by date…

ARTHUR: (confused)

Don’t you mean my start-by-date?

FATIMA: (mellowing slightly)

Come on, old thing… You’re not done for yet…

EDIE: (concerned/annoyed)

You’re not going to tell me that all the books are going to start vanishing too, are you? Who’s going to re-shelve them when they reappear?

MAVIS: (hopeful)

Perhaps they’ll appear at exactly the right points…

EDIE: (pessimistically)

Maybe we won’t get them back at all…

FATIMA: (confidently and with purpose)

If that’s the case then I doubt that we’ll care… Come on… Let’s get out of here – we need to find a ghost who knows which book is causing all this chaos…

MAVIS: (confused)

Which book, dear? I don’t understand…

FATIMA: (frustrated)

Well, I can’t explain it now – but I will… Oh…

THE FOUR OF THEM STOP – SOMEBODY IS STANDING IN THE GLOOM AT THE END OF THE CORRIDOR THAT CONNECTS THE MAIN LIBRARY TO THE MARLOW HALL – AT FIRST FATIMA PRESUMES IT TO BE A GHOST – BUT THEN SHE MAKES OUT WHO IT IS AND RELAXES SLIGHTLY…

(relieved) SEBASTIAN!? IS THAT YOU?

…BUT SEBASTIAN SEEMS TO BE LAUGHING – HE IS NOT HIMSELF…

MAVIS: (whispers)

It looks like him, dear…

EDIE: (whispers)

It does, rather… He’s not regressed, has he? Turned back into a vampire? I mean – could that be a possibility, do you think? That he’s gone back to his old self…

FATIMA: (doubtful, also whispering now)

I don’t think so… No… It’s not as if anybody is physically getting younger – only the building itself – they’re just falling asleep as time reaches the point before they were born… (aloud) SEBASTIAN!? SPEAK TO US… WHAT IS GOING ON?

SEBASTIAN LAUGHS AND THEN STEPS FORWARD – HIS FACE IS CONTORTED AND SEEMS TO BE POSSESSED BY SOME GHOSTLY FIGURE WHO ACTUALLY WALKS WITHIN HIM – GUIDING HIM – IT IS NOT SEBASTIAN WHO LAUGHS AND NEITHER IS IT HE WHO NOW TALKS…

SEBASTIAN: (ghostly, echoing)

IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO SLEEP NOW… TO SLEEP… YOU WILL NEVER STOP US… THE PLACE IS OURS NOW – IT IS OUR HOME… THE LIBRARY IS OURS AND OURS ALONE… THE LIBRARY IS OUR DOMAIN!

EDIE AND MAVIS LOOK AT ONE ANOTHER – FATIMA STANDS HER GROUND AND SEBASTIAN STEPS CLOSER – ARTHUR CRIES OUT IN FEAR AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT – PLUNGING THE LIBRARY INTO DARKNESS…

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

(AN ALMOST) LOST YETI POEM REDISCOVERED...

YOU REALLY ARE INCORRIGIBLE...

Hello beasties!

This time it's just a quick post as I'm away - more about that in a bit and in further detail in a couple of posts time! This post I've unearthed a lost poem for you; but first I have a new podcast episode to share!

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 96: FACT VERSUS FICTION...


Here we are for episode NINETY SIX - where this time Paul and the regulars considers the blurring lines between fact and fiction... The regulars aren't sure what to make of it - but there are plenty of poems in addition to the chat and also a rather odd rendition of a famous song thanks to Ikk. Thanks to Nick Goodman and Toppie Smellie for their help with this episode. Thanks also to Auntie Vera for the use of the clip from Episode 1034 of Vera Speaks... For Real (from 27.05.17). Our next episode, number 97 - will see the team heading off to Hamburg for a holiday - but nothing ever goes entirely smoothly on this show... Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 96 was recorded between the 23rd March and the 19th July 2017, with additional previously unpublished Toppie clips from his various appearances on the show. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:




What else have I been up to? Well, as you can see from the photos I caught up with my brother, Graham and niece, Alena recently and recorded a number of different appearances with Alena for future podcast episodes. They won't start appearing until after episode 100 - so it'll be a while before you hear what we got up to - probably early to mid-September. I'm currently up in Dunbar, Scotland recording the first of two episodes which will also be part of our autumn schedule; so more about that in future posts. I've also been recording with more Pride48-ers - but those are also episodes that I'll be holding back until after the 100. It's all go though, that I CAN promise! ;)

That's all for now - enjoy the rediscovered poem!! I read it during Episode 96 (above) - although it's not my most animated performance as I recorded it at my desk one morning when everyone was busy with end of term prize giving at the college; but I was still concerned that somebody might walk in!

Next time I'm going to be telling you more about the second of my two forthcoming script-books - HOT STUFF!! (Season 2) and in the post after that I'll be sharing stories from my recent trip to Scotland...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs, Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

INCORRIGIBLY ENCOURAGABLE…


You're incorrigibly encouragable!
You really turn my swaying head!
I'm lead astray, it's all your fault!
So how about if we be wed?
You're gonna send me round the bend –
I cling so tight, but you're a ghost!
Some kind of shadow, I am sure…
Love you, hate you – I'm engrossed!
You're a mistake and yet you're perfect...
You are the two of them combined…
You are a prize that's out of reach –
I find myself a tad entwined...
Well, I encourage the attention –
Round the corner see me queuing!
I always crave for your seduction –
But then blame YOU for my undoing!


You're incorrigibly encouragable!
You're some kind of miracle…
I see you hanging from the ceiling –
Like some disco glitterball…
You just like a little glamour…
Well, there is nothing wrong with that!
It's just that sometimes you're a nightmare –
You play the fool! You're such a rat...
But even so I'm just a moth –
Who is besotted by your light...
You let me go and I'm afraid –
I only want to know what's right!
I'll lose my poor unfettered mind...
I'll lose my wings, then I will fall...
I'm here and waiting for your love...
But inbetween us there's a wall!
  

You're incorrigibly encouragable!
You don't see enough of that today!
Leads me off the straight and narrow...
Yes, I am always keen to play!
Lead me on a very merry dance...
One that'll lead to who knows where!
One that'll find a happy ending...
We'd make a quite idyllic pair...
What a very lovely couple...
It would be a shame to spoil things now...
I'm not on the lookout for a punch-up!
Nor a hell-za-poppin' row...
You don't need to be a meany –
To upset me or discourage...
Because we work our best together!
When you incorrigibly encourage!!

FACT FILE

INCORRIGIBLY ENCOURAGABLE…
13/09/2012 - 25/02/2014

Verse 1: 1-9, 13-16: 13/09/2012, lines 10-12: 14/09/2012
Verse 2: 1-5: 13/09/2012, Jan/Feb 2014
Verse 3: Feb 2014

First draft finished on 14/02/2014, rewrites until 25/02/2014

Although this piece was written at around the time I was working on it, I didn’t include this piece in A YETI WAY OF THINKING… I'm not sure quite why - it just didn't get copied over. My previous book was from November 2013, so it wouldn't have made that one. Hmm… No idea. A rare yeti over-sight! *grin* It was name-checked in my blog on the 30th January 2014, but at that time it wasn’t finished and was just listed with a bunch of other uncompleted poem titles. I also discussed it briefly during Episode 14 of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST – at which stage I was confused as to whether I had included it or not, but didn’t look into it any further. I also read it as an extra poem to be included in episode 96 of the podcast and rather liked it – so feel slightly sad that it has been lying hidden on my computer for the last 3 or more years! Anyway! It has a home now and will eventually appear in my next collection, for sure!

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

KENSINGTON GORE - BACK FOR A SECOND SEASON...

WE'RE ALL READY TO GO!! LET'S GET GORY!!

Hello beasties!

What's the relevance of the photo you may be wondering? Well, it was taken at St. George's Hospital in Tooting, London on Friday 7th July 2017 - with a beautiful sky above. I was there for a 6 month check-up and all was well. I got there early and recorded the links for one of my episodes of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - in fact it was episode 94, which I will be telling you about in a moment.

As I've mentioned before we are almost ready to finally release the second seasons of both my series, HOT STUFF!! and KENSINGTON GORE, also themselves spin-offs from my BEAST OF FRIENDS series... This time we'll be talking about KENSINGTON GORE - but first up we have two new podcasts to share with you...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 94: TEA WITH TAFFY!!


Here we are for episode NINETY FOUR - where this time Paul speaks with another member of Pride48 Royalty, Taffy Carlisle Huffington from Pod Is My Co-pilot and talk about many of her favourite things. The regulars also call in and - of course - there are also a few poems! Our next episode, number 94 - will be an extended edition of our 11th Pride48 show which is happening at 4pm (EDT) / 9pm (GMT) on Sunday 16th July 2017. Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 94 was recorded on the 7th July 2017. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

94: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-94

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 95: OUR 11TH LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW!!


Here we are for episode NINETY FIVE and it's time for our 11TH LIVE PRIDE48 SHOW - following our busy show for the 2017 Live Streaming Event, last month. This time around there are manner of oddities going on as we catch up with what Mr Yeti has been up to since he last faced the chat-room. Of course, all the regulars are there in one form or another and there is bound to be some manner of poetic goings on! Our next episode, number 96 is coming soon and in it we delve into the worlds of fact versus fiction with a number of our podcasting colleagues. Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 95 was broadcast live on Sunday 16th July 2017 from 4pm (EDT) and 9pm (GMT), with a number of inserts pre-recorded on 11th July 2017. 

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

95:  https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-95-our-11th-live-pride48-show

Before we move on - I'm in a position now to tell you all about the next few episodes leading up to our grand episode 100... As follows!!

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - EPISODES 96 TO 100

Please note: All titles are currently provisional until time of release.

96: FACT VERSUS FICTION

Mr Yeti chats with friends about the times where fact and fiction blend together during creative projects. Special guests: Nick Goodman and Toppie Smellie, plus others.

97: A TRIP TO HAMBURG

Paul and Calum head to Hamburg for a holiday - but as usual nothing quite goes to plan...

98: STORY-TELLER

All manner of stories are presented in this exciting episode of the podcast...

99: DINNER AT BETTINA'S

Paul and co head to Bettina's for dinner at her beautiful country home - will they finally get to meet Bettina's mysterious boyfriend, Nathan?

100: BETTINA AND TAPPIE'S BIG REUNION (100TH EPISODE SPECIAL)

In which Bettina and Tappie are finally united on the island of Jersey; we also hear from lots of other former guests - meet an antique dealer named Brocante and there are also a number of major revelations!!

So - as promised, do let me tell you a bit about the second series of KENSINGTON GORE which should be coming to a lulu.com page near you in August...


BRIEF SYNOPSIS

KENSINGTON GORE focuses on a trio of friends who care-take a mysterious apartment block in the Kensington Gore area of London. They are Katrina, Warren and Lucy (who also featured in THE BEAST OF FRIENDS script-series) and on this occasion their troubles come from a mysterious lady called Adrianna and also from a ruthless vampire called Lombardo Braithwaite who intends to cause havoc!

KENSINGTON GORE – SEASON 2

SCRIPT 1:  OLD AND GETTING OLDER

Lucy fights for her life, but rescue comes via a huntress… Warren and Katrina pay a house call on a new resident whilst ignoring two old friends reunited in one body. Lucy has a visitor but is in for a shock when she later goes to see Jack in hospital.

SCRIPT 2:  A LITTLE MORE TIME

Lucy is surprised by the kindness of a mysterious stranger – which gives Jack a little more time… Katrina keeps herself busy – but uncovers a mystery involving a lost girl – whilst Warren has a very harrowing lunch with his mother…

SCRIPT 3:  BACK TO NORMAL – WHAT IS NORMAL?

Lucy and Jack entertain Lucy’s mother – Helen, whilst Warren and P.J. swap sob stories. Katrina shows Adrianna around the new flat and Copernicus is given another chance by his colleagues just as Jack and Lucy meet their guardian angel.

SCRIPT 4:  CALLING IN FAVOURS

Adrianna calls in a favour only for Lucy to ask one of Ashley behind Jack’s back. Katrina gets curious about the statue of the girl and Warren and P.J. search for a missing man. Copernicus calls in to say his goodbyes and tempers begin to fray…

SCRIPT 5:  TALK IS NEVER CHEAP

Adrianna learns that it is sometimes possible to trust a stranger… Warren sees Katrina’s statue photos – then the two of them speak to an old friend. Meanwhile Jack is absent, whilst Lucy goes on a mission, much to Helen’s dismay!

SCRIPT 6:  SAFE HAVEN

Lucy gets out of a sticky situation by choosing the most obvious method of escape; her problems aren’t over, but Ashley may help her. Meanwhile, Warren and Katrina are drawn into further troubles when Adrianna moves apartment.

SCRIPT 7:  ENEMIES AND FRIENDS

Katrina deals with Adrianna – whilst Ashley and company seek sanctuary, but receive an unwanted guest. Warren looks for friends in Soho – but finds enemies…

SCRIPT 8:  EVEN COWARDS CAN BE HEROES SOMETIMES

Jack has a proposal for Lucy whilst Ashley’s attentions are divided. At the same time Warren and friends search for escape as Sebastian confronts the vampires… 


Next time we'll have an extract from the second season of HOT STUFF!! - as well as sharing with you the cover and hopefully we'll also be able to announce the exact release date of the two books...

Next week I'll be away with Calum and his mum up in Dunbar - taking lots of photos - recording a new podcast and probably writing something for the blog. Hopefully I'll be sharing the fruits of that trip the following week.

That's all for now - enjoy the KENSINGTON GORE extract... This is from the first script and is set in the hospital where Lucy is visiting her boyfriend, Jack after they have both been through quite a trauma. She is not prepared for what she will find...

Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx


KENSINGTON GORE - SEASON 2, SCRIPT 1 (EXTRACT)

MEANWHILE, AT THE HOSPITAL LUCY HAS ARRIVED AT URSUS WARD HAVING PARTED COMPANY WITH NIGEL AND ROLAND… THE SISTER APPROACHES HER AS SHE MAKES TENTATIVE STEPS INTO THE WARD…

SISTER: (politely but with authority)

Can I help you? Have you come to see one of the patients?

LUCY: (nervously)

Err, yes… Is that allowed?

SISTER: (with a little more kindness)

In most cases, yes… One or two of the patients are only allowed to see close family – but most can see friends too… It’s nearly the end of visiting time, I’m afraid – but you have ten or fifteen minutes… Who is it you’d like to see in here?

LUCY:

I’m here to see Jack… Jack Archer! My name’s Lucy…

SISTER: (interrupting, smiling)

Of course, you are… I’m so sorry – I don’t know why I even asked – I should have guessed! I can see the family likeness between the two of you… Bless you!

LUCY: (looking surprised)

Err… You can? I’m sorry? The likeness between myself and Mr Archer?

SISTER: (chirpy)

Why, yes! I’m afraid he’s had a pretty tough day! He’s had no-one in to see him at all, so a visit from you is probably just what he needs… Follow me! (Lucy nods, confused – following her across the ward) Mr Archer! Your daughter is here!

LUCY: (almost lost for words)

Sister, I’m sorry – there’s…

LUCY IS ABOUT TO SAY THAT SHE THINKS THAT THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF MISTAKE – FOR THE MAN IN THE BED IS A VERY ELDERLY INDEED… JUST THE SAME THERE IS NO DOUBTING THAT IT IS JACK…

SISTER: (gently, almost at a whisper)

I’ll leave you to it – don’t wear your dad out now, Lucy… Ten minutes – no more! I’ll come back for you when your time is up, alright?

LUCY: (nods, then waits until Sister has gone)

Sure… God, Jack… How did you get like this so quickly? I mean – I heard what you said before but I never really believed it until now… I’m sorry… Jack?

JACK OPENS HIS EYES – HE SMILES WEAKLY WHEN HE SEES LUCY AND CLASPS HER HAND TIGHTLY – HE LOOKS HOPEFUL, BUT SEEMS TO SENSE THAT SHE DOES NOT HAVE WHAT HE IS NEEDING – THE ELIXIR…

JACK: (croaking slightly, but remaining calm)

Did you find it? Did you find the elixir, Lucy – or did he get it?

LUCY: (her voice choking up, she feels like she might cry)

Someone has… It’s gone… It wasn’t there… Do you really think Paddy found it?

JACK: (gasping)

No… Not Paddy… Someone else… I don’t know who… Somebody near… They have found it… You must get it back Lucy… You must… You must or I’m a goner… Do you hear me, Lucy? If you don’t get the elixir back then I’m dead…

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY SECTION...


NEW FLASH PROSE FROM MISTER YETI...

Hello beasties!

This week we're all about sharing new podcast episodes - but we also have a short new prose piece too; not to mention a few photos from recent adventures...

First up here are the new podcast episodes - and they're a continuation and conclusion of a trilogy that was launched last week...

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 92: GET THE IMPOSTER!! (2 OF 3)

Here we are for episode NINETY TWO - where this time Paul, John and Cromitty - with help from Bettina and Dameus attempt to rid themselves of the Other Dimensional Paul who is trying to steal all their listeners! There are also some silly poems and a short Shy Yeti playlet too! Our next episode, number 93 - will resolve this current adventure... Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 92 was recorded between the 2nd and the 5th April 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

92: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-92-get-the-imposter

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 93: MAY THE BEST YETI WIN!! (3 OF 3)

Here we are for episode NINETY THREE - where this time Paul, John and Cromitty finally reveal their hand and confront the Other Dimensional Paul. What will happen? Could this be the end of THE SHY LIFE PODCAST? What has Bold Sasquatch got to do with the whole business - and could he save - or ruin - the day? Expect to hear some poems - messages from the regulars and maybe another Shy Yeti script! It's all go! Our next episode, number 94 features an exclusive interview with one of Pride48's big names! and the following episode, number 95 will be our 11th live Pride48 show, as broadcast on Sunday 16th July 2017. Do join us, won't you?! Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments - you can even send me a sound-file and I'll include it on the show. The music is by Shy Yeti and Luca. All content of this episode is Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.  Episode 93 was recorded between the 5th and the 6th April 2017.

This episode can be downloaded on iTunes, Acast, Podbean and also from Soundcloud at the following link:

93: https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-93-may-the-best-yeti-win-3-of-3












I hope you enjoyed the photos - one or two were taken on a little jaunt on the river between Greenwich and Westminster on 1st July and then during a walk around Bushy Park the following day... I recorded on both occasions, but not excessively so as it was quite breezy on the boat and then quite hot when we were walking; so much so that I forgot to record having recorded just one short monologue. But never mind - I have the majority of episodes recorded right up to episode 100 now and then slightly beyond; there's no harm in taking a bit of a break - especially as I have more holiday time coming up in late July and late August.

Next time there will be more podcast chatter and hopefully a little about my forthcoming script-books... Soon after that I'm on holiday again - this time up to Scotland - so expect more photos and travelogues!!

That's all for now... Take care - more soon,

Yeti hugs, Paul (aka Shy Yeti) xx

P.S. The following story - the cool kids are calling this kind of thing flash prose, but this isn't terribly flash - anyway, it was written between the 3rd and the 12th July 2017.

THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY SECTION...


In the library I press my ear to the door -
Listening in quietly at The Autobiography Section...
When it comes to books and their stories I'm a total voyeur...
I live vicariously through them and find their rivalry an absolute blast...
Breath-baited as I hear their chatter -
Eager for some previously unblurted spot of gossip -
Something to return home with - something to share with mother... My favourite moments are when the arguments begin to escalate...
Such conversations are always worth hearing - they mean business...
Each speaker believes that their life-story is the more interesting...
Each personality rallying to reach first place;
All keen to construct a hierarchy - as long as they are near the top of it...
For even the classic rock-star grudgingly accept that they are not up there with Royalty;
Still relieved that they are ahead, in importance, of former Prime Ministers...
Few departed politicians can ever rival a Beatle or a Stone - a Dusty or an Elvis...
Churchill, maybe. But the jury is out on all the others...
Some voices are very forthright, of course - whilst others simply listen;
Chipping in occasionally with the odd cutting remark...
Every one makes themselves heard - but ultimately most know their place...
There's a snobbery, I've noticed - between the autobiographies and the biographies...
Those anecdotes lose something when they're related in the second person...
Their words - not mine...
Later, back home I return to my day dreams - I am working on my memoirs...
It's hard work - but if it means that I one day I can pass through those doors...
If it means I might eventually share time with those other books...
Up there on the shelf - making them gasp at my misadventures...
Well, then... Only then... 
A life full of monkeying about would finally be worth it...

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2017.