THE SHY YETI CHRISTMAS POST 2015

HOT STUFF!! THIS CHRISTMAS...

Hello beasties!

This week I've got the first of two Christmas-themed stories for you. The first is a script which acts as a prologue to the adventures that you'll find in my new series, HOT STUFF!!, the first season of which is published in January. It introduces all the main characters and is set around in a Christmas tree in Spectrum City Library... I hope you enjoy it!!

THE CHRISTMAS BEFORE… A PROLOGUE

This short script acts as a prologue to events that take place during the first season of HOT STUFF!! It is set before Horner arrives at the library – whilst he is elsewhere taking part in events that appear in THE BEAST OF FRIENDS – Season 4. It is Christmas and we have the chance to meet those who work in Spectrum City Library for the very first time – including the Head Librarian, Fiona, who – for a number of reasons – did not actually appear during the first season of HOT STUFF!! Note: I didn’t want to include this at the start of the book, partly as it was written later than the rest of the season and partly because it works better if read after the first season.

HORNER:

I was not at the library when the following occurs – but much of it was told to me by those who were; Mavis and Edie, mainly. It is a Christmassy tale – a ghost story, if you like – only this story does not feature ghosts of the past, but ghosts of the future!

WE SEE THE LIBRARY – IT IS QUITE A LARGE BUILDING, SET OUT IN WHAT WAS ONCE A LARGE GYMNASIUM, BUILT OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO. IT IS NOW A PLACE OF BOOKS. IT IS DARK OUTSIDE AND ALL THE CUSTOMERS HAVE LEFT – HOWEVER THE LIBRARY STAFF ARE STILL ON DUTY AND HELPING TO DECORATE THE LIBRARY CHRISTMAS TREE…

FIRSTLY, WE MEET MAVIS AND EDIE – TWO LADIES WHO ONE WOULD ASSUME ARE WELL PAST RETIREMENT AGE – BUT THIS DUO ARE FAR FROM READY TO RETIRE… THEY WORK ON THE ENQUIRY DESK AND HELP TO SHELVE THE BOOKS – ALONG WITH A SENIOR GENTLEMAN NAMED ARTHUR, WHO HAS ALSO WORKED THERE FOR QUITE SOME TIME… THERE IS ALSO A YOUNGER MAN – A HIPSTER, SOME MIGHT CALL HIM – HE IS A PLACEMENT STUDENT CALLED JACKSON… AT THIS VERY MOMENT HE IS MAKING A MESS OF GETTING THE TINSEL FROM A BOX, WHILST THE LIBRARY CLEANER, DEBBI – BUSILY HOOVERS UP AROUND HIM. FINALLY WE SEE SCRUFF MAN IN HIS 40S, FELIX – THE CARETAKER – HE IS HELPING THE LIBRARIAN, FIONA, A MIDDLE-AGED FLAME-HAIRED LADY TO HANG BAUBLES ON THE TREE… ON THE VERY TOP OF THIS TREE THERE SITS A GREEN PARROT WHO WATCHES OVER THEM; THIS IS NIXON…

MAVIS: (delicately)

Fiona… I’m asking this for Edie, by the way… We were just wondering when we might be stopping for a break and whether after that we get to go home…

FIONA: (brightly)

Well, thank you – Mave… You might like to tell Edie that I’m happy for us to have a break any time we’d all like to… Helping decorate the tree was always a voluntary exercise and I know that it’s not everybody’s idea of a fun Friday night…

MAVIS: (with dedication)

Well, I certainly don’t mind…

EDIE: (defensively)

Hey! I never said I minded… But we have been at it a fair while… I’m hungry!

FIONA: (not intending to make them feel bad)

I’m happy to keep on over the weekend anyway – I’ve got no better plans…

JACKSON: (toading up, looking like he’s about to salute)

Well, I for one will certainly be here to help you, boss – I’m not having you scrambling up and down this tree without me here to assist…

DEBBI: (in agreement)

Too right, Jackson… She’s been battling that cold for days…

FELIX: (disapproving)

She should go home! We can do this…

ARTHUR: (nodding)

Which is exactly what I said too…

FIONA: (gently)

Thank you, people… Well, perhaps you’re right… Would you all like to take that break and whoever of you are free tomorrow, we’ll continue then; but only if you’re genuinely free… I know exactly why Edie wants that break…

FELIX: (curious)

Mulled wine and carols around the fire?

MAVIS: (jumping in, wary)

She doesn’t do carols – have you ever heard her sing?

EDIE: (pretending to be offended)

So rude!

MAVIS: (cheekily)

Rude, but honest! As for mulled wine – don’t give her more than a thimble-full!!

FIONA: (trying not to sound impatient)

Yes, thank you… What I was actually about to say was that Edie wants her break because I promised her we’d open any presents that the customers have left us…

MAVIS: (enlightened)

Oh! Is that the story? I did wonder…

ARTHUR: (still intent on teasing)

Just keep her away from any liquor chocolates… She can’t handle them…

EDIE: (with mock upset)

Arthur! Not you too!? I’m hurt…

JACKSON: (hopeful)

Where are these presents anyway? Shall we stop? It’s just that I’m not achieving anything other than making a mess with this tinsel… Did anybody buy us an X-Box?

DEBBI: (also hopeful)

Or a new hoover? A man-shaped duster? No?

FIONA: (chuckling)

Alas, I don’t think so… Edie… Where’d you put the swag?

EDIE: (growing excited)

On the spare shelving trolley…

MAVIS: (nonchalantly)

Which she is currently guarding like her life depends on it…

EDIE:

Well, it does! There are crackers too… We should pull those first…

MAVIS: (sounding a bit school-marm-ish)

Or we should leave those for the library Christmas lunch…

FIONA: (calmly)

I’m pretty sure that we get a cracker as part of the deal with the restaurant… Edie is clearly feeling the urge to pull a cracker – and I, for one, don’t feel that any of us should stand in her way… I must admit, I am quite in the mood to wear a paper hat!

ARTHUR: (seeming quite excited himself now)

Who isn’t? Then we’ll pull a cracker now… Do we have mince pies too?

FIONA: (clearly beginning to revel in her role as party hostess)

We do… I’m afraid we can’t have them hot – the last time we tried to heat them on the fire in my office we were left with little piles of ash! Such a waste – and these ones look very nice; Nixon and I picked them up when we were in Waitrose earlier…

MAVIS: (teasing again)

…And no, Edie, we can’t heat them on the radiator! That’s what she does at home!

FIONA: (grinning)

Mave! Listen, before you ask – it was a customer, not me, who got the crackers!

EDIE: (curious, then calling out)

Bless! Shame we don’t know who! Come on Debs – come and get a mince pie!

DEBBI: (reluctant)

Oh, I dunno, Ede – Jackson and I are meant to be going for a curry later…

FIONA: (enthusiastically)

I’m sure you’ve room for a mince pie… Consider it your starter… Good girl!

JACKSON: (with his mouth full)

Yes, come on! I’ve already had two, Debs – you’ll be fine… Line your stomach!

DEBBI: (sounding quite keen once she’s tasted one)

You are naughty, both of you – encouraging me like that… Oh, these are good!

FELIX: (spitting crumbs as he speaks)

Very good! So where are those crackers that you’ve been talking about?

EDIE: (reading off the back of the box)

I’ve got them here… It says that each one of them has a motto for the new year!

MAVIS: (becoming quite excited)

Oh! Perhaps they’re like Chinese fortune cookies – where there’s a prediction… You know the ones I mean – we had them that time when Reverend Pascoe retired – you know, when he got very drunk on Babycham and kissed the Bishop…

FIONA: (thinking back with fond memories)

I recall – I was invited to the wedding the following summer; now that really was a lovely day! Come on, make sure you all take one – so we each get a hat and a motto!

THEY ALL TAKE CRACKERS FROM THE BOX AND BEGIN PULLING THEM – MAVIS AND EDIE, FIONA AND FELIX, JACKSON AND DEBBI ETC – EVEN NIXON GETS A HAT, PULLING HIS WITH ARTHUR AND WINNING… ONCE DONE FIONA INDICATES THAT THEY SHOULD ALL READ THEIR MOTTOS ALOUD. AS THEY SIT AROUND THE HALF-DECORATED TREE IN THEIR BRIGHT CRACKER HATS, THERE IS LOTS OF CHATTER; EDIE SPEAKS UP…

EDIE: (clearly keen to be first)

Shall I read mine? Yes?! (not waiting for a response) It says “You will soon be surrounded by old friends who come to your rescue!” Who could ever could that be?

MAVIS: (mystified, becoming cheeky)

And why would you need to be rescued, Edie, dear? I know… She’ll be accepting an invite to a school reunion – will get drunk and then fall over in the ladies loo…

EDIE: (sighing)

To be surrounded by old friends who come to my rescue! How kind! Thanks Mave…

MAVIS: (gently)

Don’t sulk… My prediction is much the same… “Things must get worse before they get better – but a familiar face will arrive just in time…” Now I’ve fallen in too…

EDIE: (laughing)

Ha! …And a happy Christmas to you… What does yours say, Felix?

FELIX: (slightly embarrassed)

“Grow confident in the next year – secrets do you no good – flourish and fly!”

EDIE: (fascinated)

Felix! That’s kind of a positive one… But what secrets are you keeping, exactly?

JACKSON: (a little patronisingly)

He’s hiding that special someone out in his tool shed… I knew it all along!

MAVIS: (encouragingly)

Don’t listen to him, Felix… That sounds very positive, doesn’t it, Fiona?

FIONA: (looking a bit distracted as she begins another mince pie)

Absolutely… Jackson! Enough teasing… It’s Christmas! (Jackson just rolls his eyes)

FELIX: (somewhat sarcastically)

It’s okay – he’s just being daft… So, what does your say, Jackson? Wins lottery!?

JACKSON: (grudgingly)

“If someone offers you the world, don’t be naïve – the world is not theirs to give!”

ARTHUR: (surprised/confused)

Blimey! Now we’re getting deep! What about you, Debbi? Did you get a new duster?

DEBBI: (getting rather giggly)

Oh, Arthur… Don’t be silly… Although now you mention it, I could do with one!

ARTHUR: (happy to see her smiling)

Maybe there’s a new one amongst the presents? If not then I’ll buy you a new one!

DEBBI: (blushing now)

Aw! You lovely man, you! I’m not sure about mine – you read it, Arthur… I’m shy!

ARTHUR: (reading it to himself before reading it out, with some surprise)

Alright then… Although if your motto is anything to go by then you shouldn’t be – hark at this… “You are a born leader – just don’t let the power go to your head!”

DEBBI: (defensively, but humoured by the idea)

It doesn’t say that… Give it here… (but Edie has already taken it from Arthur)

EDIE: (surprised, but kind of pleased)

It does, you know… World domination beckons, my dear…

FIONA: (handing Debbi another mince pie, which she takes)

…Or failing that maybe you’ll be Head Librarian before next year is out?

DEBBI: (affectionately)

Don’t be silly, Fi… You’ll be here forever…

FIONA: (not sounding too sure about that idea)

So, I’m told… So, what about yours, Arthur? What does it say?

ARTHUR: (pleased)

I’m in for a treat, I think… “The past is passing – soon the future will arrive and it will be bright…” I mean, that’s certainly a lot better than I ever dared hope for…

EDIE: (quite excited)

Aw, Arthur! How cute! Maybe it’ll be a lady! One of the customers, maybe?

MAVIS: (equally as excited)

Oooh! We could all do with a bit of that… What about Nixon, Fiona?

FIONA: (sounding uncertain)

Short but sweet… “It’s time for a change – so get started!”

DEBBI: (offering the parrot a bit of her mince pie)

Blimey, Nixon… Maybe he’ll be starting a family of his own…

FIONA: (sounding a little strained)

Hmm… I’m not sure about that… Don’t give him too much of that, Debs…

EDIE: (keenly)

Who’s left… Oh, you! What about yours, Fiona?

FIONA: (sombrely)

“You will be going somewhere hot…”

MAVIS: (confused)

And?

FIONA:

No, that’s it…

EDIE: (disappointed)

Really… That’s not a very good one… Unless it means that you’re going on holiday? Had you been considering a tropical holiday somewhere, Fi?

FIONA: (trying to make light of it)

I’d not, no… Still, I might do now… I’m more a “Walking in the Lake District” type of girl, but we’ll see! Ah well! Come on, everyone… More mince pies… Let’s get some of these presents open… Let me go and fetch the port… I left it in my office!

JACKSON: (chuckling)

I bet she’s been secretly knocking it back when the cataloguing gets too much…

ARTHUR: (supportively)

I wouldn’t blame her…

FIONA: (keen that the truth be known)

I can assure you that I’ve not been doing anything of the sort…

DEBBI: (helpfully)

Can I help you with anything?

FIONA: (thankfully, but still looking upset)

No… No… I’m fine… Mavis… Edie… You know where the glasses are, don’t you?

MAVIS: (getting up to fetch them)

Yes! Yes! They’re ready to go – I gave them a rinse earlier…

EDIE: (with relish)

Oh, I love a glass of port…

FIONA HURRIES AWAY TOWARDS HER OFFICE – SHE KEEPS THE SMILE ON HER FACE FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE – BUT AS SOON AS SHE IS OUT OF VIEW HER FACE FALLS AND SHE BECOMES FLUSTERED – AS SHE REACHES HER OFFICE SHE CANNOT STOP HERSELF FROM SOBBING – ALMOST KNOCKING OVER THE PORT AS SHE REACHES IT… SHE STOPS HERSELF FOR A MOMENT, SITTING DOWN AT HER DESK AND LOOKING ONCE AGAIN AT THE MOTTO THAT SHE RECENTLY RECEIVED IN HER CRACKER…

YOU WILL BE GOING SOMEWHERE HOT…

FIONA: (fearfully)

Oh, goodness – no… Surely not yet…

FIONA CLOSES HER EYES – ALMOST WINCING IN PAIN – WHEN SHE OPENS HER EYES AGAIN SHE SEES FLAMES SURROUNDING HER – ALTHOUGH THEY ARE NOT REALLY THERE, TO HER THEY LOOK VERY REAL… SHE BLINKS CONTINUALLY – BUT THE FLAMES REFUSE TO DISAPPEAR…

FIONA: (whispers)

Please no… Please… This is not the way it is meant to end… We’re not ready!

JUST THEN SHE HEARS VOICES BEHIND HER – IT IS EDIE AND MAVIS…

MAVIS: (concerned)

You alright, Fi? You looked upset? We were worried…

EDIE: (sympathetic)

What’s up love?

RELUCTANTLY FIONA OPENS HER EYES AND LOOKS AROUND – THIS TIME THE FLAMES HAVE GONE AND HER OFFICE IS BACK TO NORMAL…

FIONA: (wiping her eyes, smiling)

I’m fine… Fine! It’s just getting to me a bit… You know what Christmas can be like!

MAVIS:

You poor thing, you look exhausted… You need a proper rest over the holidays…

EDIE:

You’re still coming to ours I hope… You won’t need to lift a finger…

FIONA: (trying to sound enthusiastic)

Of course! Of course! We’ll have a lovely time…

EDIE: (teasing slightly)

You know what Mave’s like – every Christmas might be her last; so it must be good!

MAVIS: (deep in thought)

Well, it might be… I’m going to give Fatima a ring later and see if she’s still free to come over on Boxing Day… She’ll be with her niece on Christmas Day, I expect… Oh! Here’s the port… Come on, now… Let’s get back to the others…

EDIE: (ushering them all on)

There’s a bottle of Bucks Fizz in the fridge if we finish that…

FIONA: (to herself)

Finished… We might be, indeed… It really could be our last Christmas…

THE LADIES HURRY BACK TO THE FRONT OF THE LIBRARY – WE SEE THE MOTTO ON THE DESK AGAIN… YOU WILL BE GOING SOMEWHERE HOT… THEN WE HEAR THE SOUND OF CELEBRATION… THE LIBRARY IS GETTING READY FOR FESTIVITIES – BUT WHAT WILL THE NEW YEAR BRING??

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY…

FACT FILE:

It was nice to return to the season one cast of HOT STUFF!! which features a number of characters who are no longer around during the season that I am currently writing. I finished the first draft of season one in November 2014 – so returning to that era of the show a year later was interesting and also made sense as a way of writing a piece for my Christmas blog and introducing HOT STUFF!! to a potential audience, especially with the first season being released in January 2016. It was only when I started thinking about what exactly I’d write that I realised that it should be a scene that occurs before the series starts – introducing the main characters from season one and partly acting as a premonition of what is soon to come. It was interesting to write for Fiona, as although she is mentioned a great deal during the first season – she did not appear in any scenes in the way that she does in this special scene. The only characters missing here from the season one cast are Horner and Fatima.

It was written in my flat between Saturday 28^th and Sunday 29^th November 2015 – in two main chunks – with the second section being the reading of the cracker mottos onwards. Proofreading and preparation took place the following week and it was posted on the blog on 21st December 2015… There was time to add it to this season one release of HOT STUFF!! as an extra, as it hadn’t yet been sent for printing.

Next time, I have a few Christmassy photos and another short prose piece. The week after Christmas I'll be sharing with you my review of the year - no, not world news - but looking back over what I've written and published during 2015 and what's to come in 2016.

More soon,

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. Deeley really isn't keen on me wishing you all a Happy Christmas - he's such an old Scrooge!

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2015.

ANOTHER YETI INTERVIEW BEFORE THE YEAR IS OUT...

THE BEARGRRRIANS ARE BACK

Hello beasties...

This time I present for you another interview with me that was recently published in the BEARGRRRIAN GAZETTE... I get to talk about what I've published during 2015 - upcoming projects that I aim to unleash during 2016 - not to mention gigs, trips and collaborations that may be in store.

Brace yourselves - here we go!!

A NINTH SLIGHTLY-OVER 60 SECOND CHAT WITH SHY YETI

Here is recent interview from Beargrrria’s top magazine for chat; THE GROWL GAZETTE. They know me there due to my dubious connection with Beargrrrian superstar, Charlie Grrr. This is the ninth time that they have interviewed me over the last few years! They really MUST be short of people to speak to. This time I’m mainly discussing what I’ve published this year and what is yet to come. So, here’s what they asked and what I said in reply; straight from the yeti’s mouth, as it were!!!

Q. Welcome Mr Yeti!

Hello… It’s absolutely fantabulous to be back!

Q. To begin, please can you tell us about the books that you’ve published in 2015?

A. Certainly. I didn’t complete quite as many projects as I was hoping to – but all the same I released three titles this year, the third and fourth seasons of THE BEAST OF FRIENDS and the 10^th anniversary edition of POETIQUETTE. I also combined the 4 seasons of BEAST into one compilation, which was probably the most exciting thing for me. The other projects that I had hoped to complete were a new book of prose and poetry and also a Mouse of Commons short story collection, but they will have to wait until 2016. There were a few months whilst I’ve been ill this year where I’ve worked on my writing projects but not seemed to move forward a great deal – but I really spent some quality time on getting POETIQUETTE finished in August and then in completing BEAST 4 in September. In turn, once I’d finished POETIQUETTE it allowed me to begin arranging my Poetry Café show to celebrate the 10^th anniversary of that collection; I was determined that I would do, at least, one show this year – stupid, awkward, clumsy bandaged legs or not! I’m very glad that I kept to that too. P.S. Sorry legs… It’s not strictly your fault, but here is not the place to discuss that!

Q. How did it feel to finally release the fourth season of THE BEAST OF FRIENDS; especially considering that it is pretty much the end of the series?

A. Aside from completing the re-issue of my first eight poetry books by releasing POETIQUETTE – completing and releasing BEAST 4 gave me a very satisfied feeling. It allowed me to compile all four seasons into one volume and to cast an eye over the events of the whole series. Of course I know that the story is not completely over yet – what with the spin-off shows and the like, but it is the end of a this chapter. It’s funny how much this project has taken over my writing life over the last few years – especially considering that I had initially abandoned it; but I’m glad it did.

Q. A little bird tells us that you actually have one further script still to publish under the BEAST OF FRIENDS banner… Can you tell us more about that?

A. Yes, I can confirm that there is another script to come – to date it is the last BEAST script and is what is sometimes termed a “missing adventure” – one that occurred during the original run of the series, but which we were not party to at the time. In the case of the new script the story takes place sometime before the events of season three – before Horner met his wife-to-be, Suzette – but after Clive and Cromitty have left the house to seek their fame and fortunes. It therefore features Horner, Katrina, Warren and Clive – whilst there are also linking scenes at the beginning and end that take place some while in the future – maybe even after the events of the spin-off series. The script is mainly set in Venice and some of it was written there too, back in November 2014 – although it took until early 2015 for me to complete the first draft. The subtitle is LADY DON’T FALL BACKWARDS and it is semi-spoof of 1970s Italian giallo movies – and although I hope that the plot is not as confusing and incoherent as many of those films, I do aim for the plot to have certain about of confusing twists and turns!

Q. Will that definitely be the last project we see under the BEAST banner?

I’m not sure I can confirm or deny that either way, as there is no reason why I couldn’t return to BEAST in some temporary or more permanent fashion, in the future. All I can say is that for the moment I am not planning any further BEAST scripts. This is made easier by enjoying working with many of those characters in the two spinoff series – but I’m certainly not against reuniting the BEAST team in some way or another. It would be easier to do that by having Horner join the gang from KENSINGTON GORE, say – rather than going back to BEAST – as the reason that they were together in that series was due to their domestic arrangements as they lived under the same roof; but I suppose they could do that again! Of course I could just write another “missing adventure”, but too many of those could be confusing!

Q. Are you excited about releasing the first seasons of these spin-off shows? Can you give us any more info now that BEAST is done?

A. Yes, I am excited and yes - I am finally allowed to tell you more about what is to come. The first of these series is called HOT STUFF!! and it features Horner, from BEAST, who is now working at a library where a friend of his has died suspiciously in a fire… The rest of the characters are mostly the library staff as they investigate how the fire started and what those who caused it were after. I won’t say any more for now – but expect more information soon! The first season of HOT STUFF!! is due out in mid-January – it’ll be nice to have something new to start off 2016 with.

The second series is called KENSINGTON GORE and it’s based in London – with BEAST regulars Katrina, Warren and Lucy as the three main characters – not to mention Warren’s troublesome mother, Ashley. Katrina, Warren and Lucy now work for a shadowy government organisation that observes those who dwell in an area of London known as Kensington Gore, near the Royal Albert Hall – an upmarket block of flats that seems to attract all manner of weird and wonderful tenants. In the first season we meet a number of these – encounter vampire cows and also a gentleman named Jack who has his eye firmly fixed on Lucy; but why!? I’m over half-way through final proofreading and expect the first season to be out March/April time.

Q. Do these new series have a finite length? Do you know how many seasons you plan to write for each or will you just see how things go?

 A. I initially committed myself to writing at least three season of both series – however I have almost finished the third series of HOT STUFF!!, whilst readying myself to start the third season of KENSINGTON GORE. With HOT STUFF!! I was definitely torn between calling it a day and continuing, but with a shake-up of characters for a fourth season – and I’ve just decided to go for that second option as I have ideas that fit well into the format of the show. I must admit that I do like writing stories set in a library, being as I work in one myself. As for KENSINGTON GORE continuing beyond a third season I think I’ll decide on that once I’m closer to the end of writing the next batch of scripts. Again, it’s a series that allows for a wide range of stories – and I don’t want to finish it just for the sake of finishing it – but also don’t want to drag it out if I have nothing more I want to write about those characters. We shall see! Additionally, I am still considering a new project involving Horner, as I have already begun playing around with ideas for this on my blog: www.shyyeti.com

Q. What would this Horner spin-off series involve?

A. Zombies; at least one of the stories would. I’ve been writing diary entry style stories concerning this on my blog over the autumn. My main stumbling block is who the other characters would be in a series like this and I do enjoy writing with a continuing team as with BEAST, HOT STUFF!! or KENSINGTON GORE. I’m not sure I want to invent a whole crew of new characters for each story – as a writer I enjoy getting to know the characters over a longer time as you write for them. That said, at the moment that series is provisionally entitled HORNER VERSUS… It would feature Horner encountering a particular foe – the first story would probably be made up of eight scripts and would involve him encountering some zombies who consider that they should have rights, not to mention a protest group of extreme liberals who support them. This could easily become a series where Horner encounters different adversaries with each story and I imagine that there is also mileage for returning characters from the other associated shows that I’ve written in recent years, as well as inventing a few new characters too. I have also been toying with the zombie idea as the potential 4^th season of HOT STUFF!!, so we’ll see what happens; that’s not to say that Horner won’t get his own series one day.

Q. What will be the first project that you release in 2016?

A. Well – I’ve mainly been working on the later seasons of my script-projects and at the same time getting the first seasons of both HOT STUFF!! and KENSINGTON GORE ready to publish – so that these will be my first releases of 2016. Originally I intended to release them on the same day, however I’ve actually finished HOT STUFF!! Season one, with a good third of KENSINGTON GORE – Season One yet to finish proofreading. The two series don’t run completely in parallel time-wise anyway, with HOT STUFF!! Season One going on immediately after BEAST – Season 4, whilst the first scripts of KENSINGTON GORE occurring a month or two later. The short answer is that I’ll probably release HOT STUFF!! Season One in mid-January and then KENSINGTON GORE – Season One in either March or April and then we’ll see how it goes from there as to when the second seasons of both are ready to emerge. As I write, the first draft of HOT STUFF!! Season 3 is very nearly written, whilst I’ve just begun the third batch of KENSINGTON GORE scripts.

Q. You've not published a Mouse Of Commons book in a while - is there more still to come from Gladstone McWhiskers?

A. Definitely… I had hoped that THREE TAILS ARE BETTER THAN ONE, a book of short stories, would be ready by the end of 2015 – but I’ve not quite reached that stage, yet. I’d like it out by next year as in 2016 it will be 10 years since the first Mouse novels started being published on Lulu.com. Once that is done I will be focusing on a new novel – which I am already about half way through writing.

Q. Were you also pleased to conclude your poetry re-issue project this year? What next for your poetry?

A. It was lovely to be able to re-release POETIQUETTE this year, even if it was a little late – and also to perform a show in its honour at the very end of October. As for next year, there is a collection of new poems and stories – A YETI WAY OF THINKING – that has been almost ready to release for a couple of years now and I am aiming to get that released before the summer. As for further re-issues – the next volumes are less in need of re-issuing, although on the other hand the later books are amongst my favourites and it would be nice to celebrate their 10^th anniversaries as they roll by. POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL is the next volume to reach that mile-stone - with RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR following in 2017.

Q. Talking of anniversaries, how did the Poetry Café show go for POETIQUETTE?

A. This year, due to ill-health, I knew I wouldn’t be pursuing many live engagements – but I did want to try and do, at least, one show and it made sense to celebrate the 10^th anniversary of POETIQUETTE – which we eventually did on the 29^th October 2015. It went extremely well and not only did I get to read a lot of my favourite pieces, but John Smallshaw performed a strong selection of his work, old and new. We also had a nice group of open-mic readers which made the evening all the more fun. oJHopo Hopefully we’ll return to the Poetry Café in maybe April or May – in time to celebrate the release of A YETI WAY OF THINKING, if it’s ready by that stage.

Q. Will we ever see any more Yeti videos?

A. It’s possible, but not my top priority – that said, even if I don’t film any new episodes there are still a number in the archives that were filmed but never edited. It would be good to get those completed eventually. In the same vein, I also started recording a third audio album of my poems and would like to complete that too.

Q. This year you have been using your blog to release new poems and prose – what made you decide to do so?

A. Partly my travels and partly the fact that I wanted content for my blog. Even though I’ve not been well for much of 2015 I have still managed to travel and I have been keen to keep up with writing my blog. I’m not writing it every week, but have kept up pretty well with posting on a fortnightly basis. I’ve also managed to write more than a dozen new pieces and hope to continue to do so in 2016. The way I look at it, in two or three years I may well have enough to publish the follow-up to A YETI WAY OF THINKING, not that there is any rush. I’ve not been in a particularly verse-writing mood this year, although there have been one or two - whilst my main focus continues to be the script books. As well as using my blog to advertise shows and book releases, I have intertwined it with holidays to share photos and to write stories inspired by these trips – also including travel diaries and some spin-offs relating to THE BEAST OF FRIENDS.

Q. Where was your most recent trip to and do you have any locations in mind for 2016.

A. Well, other than my long weekend in Dartmouth in early October I also visited Lyon for my birthday in mid-ish November and that went extremely well – I got three blog posts out of that holiday… Aside from lots of lovely sunny photos I wrote a real-life diary post, a sequel (involving Horner) following on from what I wrote in Dartmouth and also a prose piece. Despite still being quite bandaged up, I managed to have a really nice time – and the weather (and the company! Thanks Toby!) definitely went a long way towards making that so. Nothing is booked yet for 2016, but Luxembourg and Jersey have been mentioned as possible locations. I must say I am beginning to miss Venice, so may have to find an excuse to get back there! The BEAST movie script is set out there, of course – I’ll need to go and take more photos to compliment that once it’s finished. Right? RIGHT!!

Q. Definitely! Thank you for talking to us, Mr Yeti. See you again in 2016!

A. Absolutely It’s always a pleasure to speak with you all!

So, there you have it! Next time I suppose we will probably have to start getting Christmassy – it’s my least favourite season but I will do my best, I promise!

More soon! Yeti hugs, Paul xx

This Post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2015.