Hi,

Hot off the press - a new one piece which will be appearing in the forthcoming SINGLES FILE collection later in the year. It's mostly silly, but kind of sad too and is called THE STAND-UP CHAMELEON. It'll also be appearing in the new Mouse of Commons novels; GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS THROWS IT ALL AWAY.

I hope you enjoy it...

Paul xx

THE STAND-UP CHAMELEON…
(20/07/07)

The stand-up chameleon,
He just merges in…
A beer-sozzled comedian,
His tail soaked in gin…
He's a pun-pulling purveyor…
Of words drenched in mirth…
But he's lost in the background…
He's been like that since birth…


The stand-up chameleon,
Cast adrift in the crowd…
When he needs to stand out…
And be verbose and loud!
When he needs to be noticed…
Seems he simply gets lost…
And no-one is laughing…
Such a terrible cost…


The stand-up chameleon,
He’d like to shine bright…
To stand out on the stage…
Maybe ten feet in height,
But he’s just more of the same…
Not too show-biz nor grand…
Seems the worst comment he gets,
Is that he’s totally bland!


The stand-up chameleon,
Just ain’t funny enough!!
His words cobbled together…
And a bit off the cuff!
He tries wearing a wig…
Even sticks out his tongue…
For crimes committed to comedy,
He may one day be hung!!


The stand-up chameleon,
He won’t get no applause…
The bears in the crowd…
They will not clap their paws…
The laughter won’t come…
It won’t rattle the rafters…
He’s just melting away…
Won’t qualify for the BAH-FTAs!


The stand-up chameleon,
He meekly blends in…
He must sometimes wonder -
Why he ever went in -
For this lifestyle of laughter….
To this giggle starved place…
The only thing folk find funny -
Is his sad ugly face…

Hi,

As promised. This is the poem that I'll be reading and Julie Fowler and Peter Archer's wedding tomorrow. It's unusually romantic and uncynical and I came up with it on a country walk back in late April 2007. The very walk that the photo in this entry was taken on.

I hope you enjoy the poem.

CONGRATULATIONS TO JULIE AND PETE!!

More soon...

Paul x


A LIFE TOGETHER

For Julie and Pete on their wedding – 13th July 2007


The path they tread.

The love they seek.

The words they’ve said.

Shall not grow weak.

Their lives wide open –

With plans they’ve made…

Their dreams awoken –

These memories that will never fade…


Fine times they share –

Deep trust has grown.

How much they care…

Today is shown.

They give the sign.

And speak the vow.

Two hearts entwine,

All here can see their time is now.


Two lives converge –

Here as they do,

Strong feelings surge,

Their hopes come true.

The sights they’ve seen…

Still yet to see…

The future’s keen…

Yes, some things in life are meant to be…

NEWS AND MORE NEWS!!!

Firstly, just to remind everyone that the new poetry book: RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR is available from www.lulu.com and to impart a few further bits of news.

I've been working on a CD of my poems; provisionally entitled either YETI RHYTHMS, NOT YET, JUST YETI or THE HOME-BREWED VERSE OF SHY YETI - i'm not sure quite yet to be honest. So far I've recorded over 50 poems and whittled those down to about 25 useable recordings. So far there have been 2 recording sessions; one back in Weybridge in my home-studio and the second this week in a grand old building in Belgravia. I'm pretty pleased by what I've done so far and it's been fun to re-read some of the poems after a while. I've always enjoyed performing them - especially the humorous ones and have had a number of enquiries over the years to do a CD - well finally the technology is readily available and Lulu.com makes it possible to sell the finished product.

I'm about to embark this very day on a bit of outdoor recording to complete the collection and expect the finished CD to be around 45 minutes in length. The poems are taken from all 10 of my collections: JUNK/FOOD, ROLLERCOASTER, THIRD TIME LUCKY, GO 4TH & DIVIDE, THE AUTUMNAL E.P., LOVESONGS OF THE BITTER AND TWISTED, MUGSHOTS, POETIQUETTE, POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL and RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR.

More news as I have it.

One of the main reasons this is a perfect time to do a CD is also that it is now more than 5 years since I begun this blog and am hoping to release what I like to call a singles collection; (my greatest hits! lol) of all the poems published on this and other blogs in the last 5 or so years. I'm currently working on some news poems to go in there and these include; SERENADING SHEEP, BADGES FOR BADGERS, BABIES LIKE MY FACE, CAUSEY HILL and two poems in celebration of my friend's Julie and Pete's wedding.

I'll be posting both the wedding ones, in the run up to Julie's wedding - the first one is called THEIR SPECIAL DAY and appears below and the one I will post next friday is called THEIR LIFE TOGETHER and I was commissioned to write that one to read at the ceremony, which is a big privilege. I have promised Julie that the finished version of both these poems will appear in the SINGLES FILE collection, hopefully with some nice photos from the day.

Anyway - here's the first poem. I hope you enjoy it!

More soon!

Paul :)

THEIR SPECIAL DAY…
(BALLAD OF A BRIDE AND GROOM)

So here it is…
Their Special Day -
He tucks into his breakfast tray -
Her eyes flick open -
Up she goes…
A gentle stretch -
She blows her nose…

The groom is jolly -
Does a jig…
Still on his head…
His stag-do wig!
The bride's ecstatic…
Where to start?
In lipstick draws -
A single heart…

The groom is washed…
Half in his suit;
The TV sport…
Is set to mute!
He knows he'll -
Have to miss the game!
Best man reminds him -
Of his name!!

The bride day dreams…
No need to rush…
She sits there;
Mimes into a brush…
Her hair is done...
Now there's the dress…
The whole room cries -
A happy mess!!

The groom's in panic…
He's out of hand -
Now someone's lost -
The wedding band...
Stop!!
They've got the ring!!
Thank god for that…
T'was found within -
The best man's hat…

The bride's a vision -
All in white…
In platform heels -
To give her height…
She's dressed and done…
The car's outside…
Off down the path -
She heads with pride…

Cut to the church;
The guests await -
The vicar shakes -
His collection plate…
The grooms face -
Breaks into a smile…
Here comes his princess…
Down the aisle.

It's time for two -
To come as one…
They cry; "I do!"
The deed is done…
The weddings bells -
Ring out the way…
A new tomorrow on -
That special day…

And so - from the church…
To dance - to eat…
Both bride and groom,
Have two left feet…
They're packed to leave…
But for all our sake…
Before you go;
Can't you…
Won't you…
Cut the BLOODY cake??

Hi,

RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR... is the new volume of poetry for 2007 by poet Paul Chandler, sometimes known as Shy Yeti. This is the black and white paperback version. This collection includes over 50 poems and more than 100 photographs. Poems include ALL GOOD PIES MUST END, THE BLACK EYED GROWL, I'M FEELING KINDA GIDDY, LIFE IN A PELICAN'S BEAK and many more...
Product Details:
Printed: 150 pages, 7.44" x 9.68", perfect binding.
Publisher: PAUL CHANDLER
Copyright: © 2007 by PAUL CHANDLER Standard Copyright License
Language: English
Country: United Kingdom (Great Britain)

This book is available in 3 versions:

http://www.lulu.com/content/892987 £8.99 B&W paperback

http://www.lulu.com/content/677059 £19.99 Colour paperback

http://www.lulu.com/content/892988 £27.99 Colour hardback

£5 for a download

I'm posting RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR - the poem, below and will post some more photos and bits and pieces from the book over the next few weeks. I intend to celebrate the arrival of this book and all the Mouse of Commons books that have been released this year on Saturday 1st September.

Thanks for reading - enjoy the poem!!!

Paul :) xx

RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR...


Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Have got to be good…
Not second-hand ditties,
You’d swap if you could!
Not flimsy constructions,
That don’t make you growl…
Or comic creations –
That don’t make you howl!!
Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Have got to be funny…
Better than cream scones…
EVEN better than HONEY!!!


Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Must smell fresh as a daisy!
They must never be dull –
They must always be crazy!!
There’s no two ways about it…
The verse must surely excel…
And must come neatly wrapped;
With a crisp crunchy shell…
Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Must really be cunning;
And cryptic and clever –
And supremely stunning!!


Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Must never be sickly…
They should always be savoured;
Not gobbled up quickly!!
They should tell of adventure –
Telling tales from the heart…
Have an end and a middle –
Yes, and also a start!!!
Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Should not dwell on defeat…
Never dwindle or tarnish…
Nor go off in the heat!!!


Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Are frequently merry,
Come splendidly garnished;
Always served with a cherry!
Always buffed up to shine,
Yes, and beautifully made…
Under a cocktail umbrella…
Always kept in the shade!
Rhymes bears steal pies for…
Oh, they should NEVER deceive!!
Yes, they gotta be BALLY good…
To cause a bear to go thieve!!

HELLO!!!!

INTRODUCING: RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR...

This has just been loaded onto www.lulu.com in three different formats!

I'll be officially launching the book tomorrow and posting the links to the site.

Hope you like the cover - the grafitti was found on a wall in Venice in December 2006.

Take care,

More soon!

Paul x

Hi!!

I am pleased to announce that the new book of poems:

RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR...

is now at the final stage of editing. I have finished all my work on it and it is currently being proof read by the ever brilliant Neph and my good friend Tom Crittenden, who is also proof-reading my new spoof soap opera: DUSTY ACRES.

RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR should be available by the first week of June at the latest - but I'll post more about that next week and include a screen grab of the cover.

Firstly though; the stats - it's 150 pages long - including over 100 photos (colour in some versions of the book and black and white in others) and there are 50 new compositions. As with POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL there will be three versions available; a black and white budget paperback, a colour paperback and a colour hardback.

Following this release and not counting the forthcoming SHY YETI YEARBOOK 2006 and then next Mouse of Commons book: THE BEARGRRRIAN DILEMMA, there is also another book of poetry due out in 2007. This is provisionally entitled SINGLES FILE - 5 YEARS OF THE BLOG and is a collection of all the poems that I've chosen for this blogsite over the last 5 years. There will also be a few new poems, including one that I'm performing at my friend Julie Fowler's wedding on July 13th.

Anyway - more news about that when it happens...

I'm including one of the new poems for your interest!! :) It's a called WE DON'T DANCE TO LOVE SONGS and I'll let it speak for itself.

Oh, and before I go - the bear at the top of the page is a 70 year old friend of mine known as Tubby, who lives with my friend Pam Goodman and who appears in the Mouse of Commons novel I'm currently working on.

Anyway - enough for now!!

Take care!!!

Paul xx


WE DON’T DANCE TO LOVE SONGS


We don't dance to love songs -

Don't ask us to sway...

To romantic swooned verses -

Your band chose to play!

No, we plug up our ears -

To such way soppy dross...

We shall kick off our boots now -

And show you who's boss!


No, we don't dance to ballads -

For the beat's just too weak...

All the words are so dreary -

And send us to sleep...

Can't convince us to Waltz...

No, we see through your ruse...

No, we won't Bossanova...

Even flaked out on booze!


Oh, we shan't dance to blues tunes -

Don't ask us to groove!

We have more self-respect -

And have nothing to prove!

Should the DJ play love songs...

All us dancers go tense!

We're not keen to look stupid -

We were born with more sense...


No - we won't dance to jungle...

It's just not to our taste...

We will not go “Pull Shapes” -

If they're going to waste...

We've a standard to maintain -

Got to keep our heads high...

No we won't dance to love songs...

You shouldn't have to ask why?


No, we don't dance to ballads -

Nor to songs sickly sweet...

No, we don't dance to love songs -

But quickly retreat!

No we don't let our ears hear -

Their brain rotting tunes!

We like them as much as -

Small children like prunes.


There is no kind of love song -

That can get us to bop!

That can get us to dance...

That can put us on top!!

Do not give me a headache...

Do not take me to task...

'Cos we don't dance to love songs -

So quite simply, don't ask!

Hi,

Just another post to show off some the photos I took in Dunbar, some of which went into the new photo collection: DUNBAR SPRING, which is now available from www.lulu.com. You can see the cover above and below. As mentioned before - the book is in full colour and is 150 pages long. All the photos having been taken just last week during a very sunny week in April.

There are only a couple of poems in this book and they appear previously in older collections - but are poems inspired by this area of Scotland, One of these poems is the following BELHAVEN BEACH. I hope you enjoy the rest of the photos.

The new poetry collection: RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR should be available within the next 2-3 weeks.

Happy growls,

Paul xx

Above. The Harbour in Dunbar and the old castle

Above. Wildlife in Dunbar Harbour

Above. The coast around Dunbar Promenade

Above. The remains of Dunbar castle from the Promenade

Above. More views of the Promenade path

Above. More views of the coast. Below. Belhaven Bay

BELHAVEN BEACH


Belhaven Beach…
Stretches on for miles…

I’d like to be there now…

Paddling out to the Bass Rock –
Amongst the Seals.
Leaving the Sandbanks –
The Mudflats –
Out at a distance…

There I am…

I take footprints –
Leaving photographs –
Sitting in my throne…
Amongst the trees…
Hiding in long-lost rabbit holes…
Teaching baby crabs to scuttle…

“Like this – no – sideways…
Here – watch me, then try it again…”

My hair is turning the colour of algae –
My tears pollute the tide…
I get so far out –
But they always call me back…

Well, this time I won’t go…

Traversing the headland…
This time I want to see…
The further shore…
The beach beyond Belhaven…
Beyond the bay…
Is something the same -
Symmetrically reflected…
Something identical…

Yet different.

Hi,

Whilst I put the finishing touches to RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR I've also been working on another project - another book called DUNBAR SPRING. This time it's photos and along the lines of WILD LIFE fron last year, but without the bears. The theme is the small Scottish town on Dunbar and the surrounding towns of North Berwick and East Linton. The photos above are from Belhaven Beach. The reason I've posted pictures here is that I've included two of my older poems in the book. One is WAVES from ROLLERCOASTER in 2002 and the other is BELHAVEN BAY from THIRD TIME LUCKY, also from 2002.

The book will be available on the www.lulu.com site within the next couple of days.

Take care,

Paul xx

Hi,

Just a quick message to say HAPPY EASTER!!!

Also, to mention that there's a new MOUSE OF COMMONS novel available: more details at www.mouseofcommons.blogspot.com

As far as the next book of poems is concerned, I'm one away from 50 poems - having written a new piece, THE BLACK-EYED GROWL, just yesterday. The whole collection RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR is now almost ready and during my Easter holidays I'll be proof-reading it all - so hopefully it'll be ready by the end of the month.

In addition to this I'm also working on another book of poems called SINGLES BOX, which is a collection of all the poems from the last 5 years, from all my collections, that I have posted on this site. This will probably be available by the summer.

I won't post any new poems this time - but next post I'll announce the official launch date of the collection and post one then.

As mentioned before, they'll be a book launch for my 4 most recent books in late June.

That's it for now. Happy holidays!!

Paul x

Hello!!!

Another poem, so soon!!!

This is just a first draft, to be honest - but hopefully will be included in the next collection: RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR.

Had to post today really - in time for 1st April, tomorrow!!!

Enjoy!!

Paul xx


YOUR APRIL FOOL


Trick me sweet –

You think I jest…

Go put my patience –

To the test!!

Go stick a sign,

Upon my back…

“I’m with stupid…”

Tattooed on my packa mac…

Intimidate me…

I’m your tool –

Still proud to be,

YOUR APRIL FOOL…



Go play your joke,

Go make the gag.

I just don’t care!

It’s not my bag!!

I don’t care less…

Go fling that flan,

Not bothered by,

Your crazy plan…

You laugh out loud,

I’ll flaunt the rule –

I’m proud to be –

YOUR APRIL FOOL…



Miss laugh-a-minute,

Some cunning ruse,

With best intentions…

To confuse.

Oh, playful prankster…

The die is cast!

With punning powers –

Built to last!

So treat me mean,

Yes, be real cruel…

I’m proud to be…

YOUR APRIL FOOL…



Behind my back –

You’re pulling faces,

Trip me up –

You tied my laces!!

You did me wrong,

You made me frown…

You kicked my heart –

Around the town…

But I’ll take more…

I’ll play it cool…

Content to be…

YOUR APRIL FOOL...

COMING SOON: RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR...

Just to let everyone know that there's a new poetry book on it's way - due for early May 2007.

It's nearly all pieced together now, more details coming soon - but here's one of the new poems: DISCO YETI.

DISCO YETI

Disco Yeti,
Shining Star.
He's not Size Zero,
Nor under par…
He's not the sort -
With whom you mess…
A dancing queen;
Well, more or less!!
He knows the moves -
He moves with style!
Admirers gape -
In single file!
How can this yeti -
Strut so cool?
Uses disco fever -
As his tool!!!

Disco Yeti,
No prima donna…
He's centuries old;
Still not a gonna!!
More active now -
Than 'ere he were!!
Though with Just For Men,
Now dyes his fur!!
A large medallion -
On his chest…
He prances,
Better the rest…
Although he's got -
Big tree trunk thighs!!
Beneath that glitter ball -
He flies…

Disco Yeti,
Pulsing beat…
No doubt this beast's -
Got disco feet…
Paws so agile,
Clicking claws…
Along to the rhythm…
No-one ignores…
The dancefloor clears…
The spotlights shine…
Onto this dancing yeti…
Oh, so fine!!
Disco creature…
So suave, so wily…
He's one half yeti…
And two thirds, Kylie!!!

Disco Yeti,
He's no himbo…
Growls aloft;
And flares akimbo…
Limbo, foxtrot,
Nor the Waltz…
All leaves this yeti…
Feeling false…
But under lights -
So bright and flashy!!
Back-flips to music,
Kinda trashy…
But who's to say…
His life is petty…
This guy's the world's…
SOLE, DISCO YETI!!!

Hi,

Just thought I'd write to say hello and also to mention that the new book of poems RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR, should be available sometime in April - although an exact date hasn't been decided yet. It looks like two new Mouse of Commons books might be out the same day and the limited edition SHY YETI DIARY 2006, photo collection.

As for RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR - I am currently putting the finishing touches to the poems and adding all the photos I hope to use.

This particular poem THE WAY PIE'S MEANT TO BE!?! was written just last night and is, once again very bear orientated. May I add that the finished collection doesn't feature exclusively about bears and pies - although with Charlie Grrr editing, that's almost a surprise in itself!!

To illustrate this page I am also posting a photo of Charlie Junior taken in a mysterious UK location just this last weekend; a photo that may well turn up in one of the Mouse of Commons books coming out towards the end of the year.

Anyway - I hope you enjoy the poem!!

Rhymes and hugs,

Paul xx

THE WAY PIE’S MEANT TO BE?!?

Is it meant to look like that?
Is the crust meant to flake?
Does it need twice as long?
Should you grill and not bake?
Does the gravy go frothy?
Should it go off the boil?
Please just tell me it tastes good…
After SUCH lengthy toil…
Will it maybe go crispy…
If left out in the sun…
When it comes out the oven –
Should it weight half a ton?

It’s hard not to wonder…
When you’re brewing up tea…
I wonder – oh, how I wonder…
Is that the way PIE'S meant to be??

Is it meant to sound like that?
A sort of deep rumbling grrr?
Does it need to be louder?
A little less like a purr?
Should it be much more scary?
Should it make people shake?
Am I sounding unready?
Do I come over; fake?
Should I roar from my belly?
From my heart not my head?
If I let out a bellow…
Might I shock people dead?

It’s hard not to question…
When asleep up a tree…
I wonder – oh, how I wonder…
Is that the way GROWL'S meant to be??

Is it meant to feel like that?
Kind of stubbly and coarse?
Should I fear if it’s matted?
Or file for divorce?
Should I wear it in plaits -
Or perhaps in a bow?
I’ve asked many times…
But no cub seems to know!!
Is it better to grow it…
Til it touches the ground?
Or keep it chopped shorter –
Have a barber come round?

It’s hard not to worry…
But advice don’t come free…
I wonder – oh, how I wonder…
Is that the way FUR'S meant to be??

Is it meant to smell like that?
Do you think that it’s burnt?
Should there be such black smoke?
Oh, what lessons I’ve learnt!!
Is it meant to be flameproof?
Should it be surrounded by flame?
I must have dozed off…
Now I should take the blame…
Cooking food on the fire…
Often takes rather long…
But I took forty winks…
And now the whole thing’s gone wrong!!!

It’s hard not to ponder…
And yes, I’m sure you’ll agree…
A small, yet sad pile of ashes;
That’s not the way PIES should be…

Hello and Happy New Year from myself and Charlie Grrr!!!

I am pleased to announce that things are moving quite quickly now towards a new volume of poems; RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR. Having written a few new pieces during the Christmas Holidays I am now working towards designing the new book and choosing the photos to go with each poem, whilst Charlie Grrr writes his comments.

You will notice that there is still quite a pie/bear based theme to this collection, following 2006s POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL.

Titles which I expect to include are as follows:

ALL GOOD PIES MUST END…
BLACK AND WHITE LIFE
THE CAT WITH THE STRANGEST PURR…
A CURE TO ALL KNOWN ILLS… (THE BALLAD OF A BEAR…)
DO YOU WANNA SEE MY PIE CHART?
EXACTLY WHAT BEARS CAN’T BEAR…
GIRLS LIKE ALENA…
GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT…
GRANNY ERNESTINA…
HOOVERING BRUSSELS…
HOW I’D LOVE TO BE A CAVEMAN…
I DON’T WANT TO BE POSTED!!
I WILL EAT PIES…
THE INFATUATION DANCE!!
"IT…"
IT’S HARD TO LOOK YOUR BEST (WHEN YOU’RE A VAMPIRE…)
LOCKED UP IN A CELL, PIE BLUES…
MOTHER ALWAYS HAS THE CRACKED MUG…
MY BABY, THE MONSTER…
MY SUPERSTAR BOUDOIR…
NEVER SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL…
OBSCENE QUEENS AND OTHER ROYALTY…
PARISIAN MICE AND OTHER TERRORS…
PEROXIDE BLONDE…
RHYMING POT-POURRI…
SWEET OLETA…
WE DON’T DANCE TO LOVESONGS…
WHAT BEARS DO…
WHAT I SAY (AND WHAT I MEAN…)
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DON’T LIKE YOU!?!
WHICH WAY UP?
YOUR KNIGHT IN PINK LAME

There will be a few more to come before the book is finished - but that's a good start. I always come up with new stuff whilst I'm putting together a collection. The photos range from things taken in early 2006, up until things taken whilst away down by the sea at New Year 2007. A couple of the poems also appear in the Mouse of Commons novel GLADSTONE MCWHISKERS AND THE BEARGRRRIAN DILEMMA, but that won't be available until the autumn at the earliest. A couple of others appeared in the limited edition WILDLIFE photo collection book published last summer.

I expect the book to be available around April, hopefully just before Easter.

The poem that appears at the end of this post is my pie based ode to the song "I Will Survive!" I hope you like it.

In last minute news, I'd like to announce that there may well be a second book of poems out towards the end of this year - and that if this happens it will be a joint project with a friend of mine from the Netherlands. More about that when there's more to tell!!!


I WILL EAT PIES

First my place was laid -
And then my eggs were fried!
To put the gravy through a sieve?
Well you could not decide…
I ran up so many flights -
When I heard that dinner gong...
There I belong -
And now I sing this simple song!
I had a snack...
I stuffed my face…
All you did was stand and jeer...
As if I was some deep disgrace!!
What made you wear that dreadful frock -
What made you make that stupid plea…
If you had known I'd just had seconds -
You'd have proper clobbered me...

Go on now, duck - I want some more...
I'll pretend I didn't see -
You dropped that pie upon the floor!
Back when I weighed a ton! Oh, then I used to be so shy...
Did you think that pastry'd crumble?
Did you never wonder why?
Oh no, not I -
I will eat pies!
As long as there's a cake above -
Or a nice swiss roll - or five!
If you've a syrup sponge to give...
Oh, just stop acting like a div!
And feed me pies...
I want your pies!!

OH PIEEEEEES!!!!

When I eat a pie I'm glad -
But then I fall apart...
Left here to sit and tend
The pieces of my broken tart!
I've got your pastry in my sight -
And I want it for myself...
It makes me cry -
That I've got nothing left to fry!!
Will you feed me?
Your tasty stew?
I'm still that hungry little person -
Who will smile and loves to chew!
Would you want to see me thin?
Do I have to pay a fee?
Now I'm saving all my stuffing -
For some pies I bought for tea!

Go on now, love - feed me some more...
I'll pretend I didn't see -
You dropped those pies upon the floor!
Back when I weighed a little more… Back when I used to sit and sigh...
Did you think I'd break the table -
With the sheer weight of my thigh!
Oh no, not I -
I will eat pies!
As long as there's a cake I love -
Or a nice cream eclair - or five!
If you've a spotted dick to give...
It should be quite easy to forgive!
Just feed me pies...
I want those pies!!

SWEET PIEEEEEES!!!!

More soon!!!

Paul xx

Hello!!!

Just a quick post to say hello and a happy christmas and a marvellously poetic new year!!!

Just a quick update on the writing. I'm just back from a few days in Venice and whilst I was away came up with another three poems, one of which I'll be posting below. I have now completed approximately 30 poems towards RHYMES BEARS STEAL PIES FOR, with approximately 20 more poems to be written. I'm off down to Dorset for New Year and if I get as prolific as I did when I was in Cornwall last year then the book should be ready by the spring. But we'll have to see. I'm not going to rush anything.

Meanwhile, elsewhere - I'm devoting most of my writing time to working on Mouse of Commons novels - more of which can be read about at www.mouseofcommons.blogspot.com I've also been taking a lot of photos - for the novels and also for RHYMES, in the same style as I went for with POEMS TO MAKE BEARS GROWL. This time I'm stepping back and Charlie Grrr will be writing all the comments for the poems - although I'll probably drop him the odd fact or two on the way.

Anyway - here's a new one - an exclusive from my trip to Venice - although there's not even the slightest Italian whisper of a theme that I can see... Ah well!!

Seasons Greetings! More in 2007!! Thanks again to everyone who has supported me in 2006.

Christmas hugs.

Paul xx

A CURE FOR ALL KNOWN ILLS…
(THE BALLAD OF A BEAR)
09/12/06

If you’re feeling a little bit under the weather –
If you’re lacking that get up and go…
If you’re not in the mood to make trouble…
Then there’s something that you ought to know!
There is something to cure all your blues, now!
Which may be quite a shocking surprise…
The meaning of life wrapped in pastry!
A gravy soaked pleasure, sweet pies!!

If you’re feeling a tad kinda woosy…
If you’re feeling a bit over-awed…
If you’re trying to smile and be jolly!
But you’re feeling quite frankly, a fraud!
If you’re lost and you need some direction…
Then you need only look into my eyes!
The solution to all of your problems…
Is pies – yes, it’s pies – lovely pies!!!

If the news you’ve received ain’t appealing…
If you’re feeling that life’s quite a bore!
I’ll assure you, you’re quite incorrect, see…
My advice you just cannot ignore!!
Should you judge that your days aren’t worth living…
I will prove that those thoughts they are lies…
That you’ll find you a brand new beginning –
Just try devoting your future to pies!!

If you’re unsure of the route you’ve been taking…
If you’re curious to try something new…
I’d suggest try a nice Cornish pasty!
Or a fair suet sponge, Irish stew?
There is nothing that cannot be cured now…
A life changing decision, so wise…
Yes, an idol that won’t disappoint you…
Just one word and that word, yes – it’s PIES!!!

CHARLIE GRRR BIRTHDAY TRIBUTE

SUNDAY 10TH SEPTEMBER 2006

Hi,

In tribute to the Great, Never Late Charlie Grrr - on the first anniversary of his arrival into our little community. I am posting the poem that I wrote about him that appeared in my last collection of verse, POEMS TO MAKE BEAR'S GROWL.

I hope you enjoy it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLIE!!!!

You will also find further postings on the subject on Charlie's website
http://bearyondbearlief.blogspot.com/

There will be more poems soon and I hope to include a few on this site in the next couple of months.

Best Yeti hugs,

Paul x

THE BALLAD OF CHARLIE GRRR...


Down in Surrey Quays...
Where they grow sweet peas...
There lives a bear named Charlie!
He's a clever bear -
With his swept back hair -
And an allergy to barley!
With his big friendly paws...
In coded morse he snores...
But it sounds just like he's purring...
No, he is never mean...
He is extremely clean...
In fact his shower needs de-furring!

He's the sort of bear you warm to...
'Cos he's got a lot of pies...
When he's on a secret mission...
Yes, he wears a new disguise!
But you'll never catch him napping -
When he's meant to be at work!
No, cos he's got a moral conscience -
For he's a bear and NOT a berk!!

Oh, fish can be quite fishy...
And owls are often owlly!
But men are men -
And bears are bears -
And both can get real growlly!


Down in London Town...
Where the bears are brown!
Although some have fur that's yellow!
Charlie knows them all -
'Cos they come to call!
To ask advice or just say "Hello!"
Chuck's a wise old sage...
'Cos he's twice their age -
And he's seen the cards life's dealing!
He'll always get them calm...
They never come to harm...
Even if climbing on the ceiling!!

He's the sort of bear you'll talk to...
'Cos he's bought cream cake for tea!
And he makes delicious milkshake -
And gives it all away for free!!
But who is there for Charlie...
When he's down, who does he phone?
"Well, I'm never sad!" laughs Charlie -
Because I'm never left alone!!”

Oh, cubs are very bossy -
And some bears are hard to bear!
But Charlie isn't one of them...
Always busy in his lair!!


Away, across the seas...
From old Surrey Quays!
Lives the family of Charlie...
His dear sister Jean, a top marine -
And his mad Uncle, Nephtali...
Oh, he's a trifle weird!
With his massive beard...
But he cooks a mean spaghetti!!
But you should see his Ma...
The hairiest bear, by far...
Well, she looks more like a Yeti!!

Back home where he was hatch-ed!
He used to live a life of fame!
He couldn't move for all his fans -
And everybody knew his name!!
No need for living in the forest...
What a horrid place to roam...
When you've a cottage in the country -
And a stylish mobile home!!!

Charlie's happy being Charlie!!
Is there none else he'd rather be?
“I once dreamt I was a spacebear...
But no, I'm quite happy I was ME...”